December 15, 2011

"Oh, you guys wanna make a trade?"

"Maybe I can be of some help?"

"No.  Anyone else?  Lakers?  No.  Orlando, you  Nope.  I decide where players play."

(The phone rings)

"Very funny, who changed Donald Sterling's phone ID to 'Archie Bunker?'  Hello, Donald.  (pause)  You know what, I said no before, but since someone here will be fined for changing your caller I.D. you can make that trade."

Just in case it wasn't clear before, the NBA Players Union did not "win" with their new deal.  They lost.  Sure, they may have won "concessions" but to Stern (a lawyer) he defended his client (owner's typical bullshit) and can once again lord over his employees...which is what they really are.

For the Clippers, they've had money...not as much as the Lakers, but they've had it.  Sterling, a very uneven miser, simply couldn't attract talent to the team.  More often than not, a meeting with him would seal the deal: the player would go elsewhere.  And even with this trade, the Clips still have moves they need to make.  (They likely won't or will make dumb moves, but still...)

Lest we forget about David's LOVE of TV markets and ratings.  Therefore, this trade makes complete sense to David because:
1. By trading away the best player of a league-owned team, they can then work on the dwindling fan interest as they see fit, and then choose to move it (or fold it) whenever they'd like.  Maybe Eric Gordon can be the franchise, right?
2. By directing Paul to the Clippers, he gets his wish: another big talent in LA, but this time with the other team.  This helps the ratings (in theory) and makes David look like he's holding his end of the deal from the lockout agreement.
3. If anyone is against this deal from a New Orleans perspective, David can play the "I sure wish someone would take over this franchise/I'm a single mom working two jobs" card.  Here's his quote after the trade went down:

"It was not my favorite role, but I did it," Stern said. "... I must confess that it wasn't a lot of fun."

You had to have been a nervous wreck, David.  Hey Derek Fisher, you were in all the meetings with him, and as union president watched your initial demands dwindle down like the casual fan's interest.  What do YOU think of the trade?

"I just think the overall approach to things in this business is getting a little bit difficult to stomach."

Too bad you haven't had a chance to change anything.  Well, Sterling continues to do his thing, David pulls the strings, and people complain as they always do.  But you know, I'm no Laker fan, but I do follow the Clips...and they've fucked up so many times, maybe the league literally had to shove a great player to the team.  You could ask anyone on the Clippers staff to make you a sandwich, and an hour later you'd find a ring of bologna on the floor and the bread unopened as they "are in the process of moving forward."  So, again, merely as a fan, I think this is fantastic! 

Then again...maybe it's the fact that a fucking sleazeball runs the league and the team I've chosen to give mild interest to is one of the worst over its history...maybe that's why I don't like the NBA.  Enough about me, how are those Clippers car flags coming?


Drew Boatman said...

I love the fact that even the owners are divided. Imagine a world where Jerry Buss and Glen Taylor have to coexist, and pretend to have the same interests. Dan Gilbert and all these other little pecker-heads see the changing rules of the NBA, they don't like it, but they are utterly powerless. Stern promised them something that he can't deliver. He can go ahead and block every goddamn trade he wants... Melo still is going to want to play in New York. And eventually, he's going to get there. For every Kevin Durant, there are a hundred Amare Stoudemires. I laugh at the whole thing as it goes down in flames. Maybe Simmons was right... a player-run league might be the future.

Jake MacDonald said...

What if Stern stepped aside and Shaq took over. I'm just saying. Shit would get nuts. Fast.