July 21, 2006

You Lie, You Deny, Pass Me The Microphone, I Guess Like Eddie Murphy, You Was Givin Him A Ride Home

Banks out, James in, Eddie needs to spend some time in jail, and KG's in fucking India.

This could be a rough season.

I don't really know what to expect going into October. Mike James is solid, and I don't just say that based on one season in Toronto, because to judge NBA players on their time in Toronto is like judging Dr. Dre on the World Class Wreckin Cru. It just doesn't play in theaters nationwide. But I think he'll be good, certainly provide more leadership and stability than any of the clowns since 2004. He's been pretty consistent in his career, and shoots pretty hot from outside, which you've got to like.

Marko remains like a stone around the Wolves' neck. Every other player on the roster has an "out". Even Blunt, hell, just start him and give him touches, he'll be fine. Ricky could be traded at anytime, for anybody. There are no rules when you look like he does. Hudson... just bench him, forever. Don't let him play ever again. It's fine. He doesn't need to ever walk again. He's a scumbag and always has been.

But Marko... what do you do with this guy? Well, you PUT HIM AT 2 AND GET HIM THINKING LIKE A BASKETBALL PLAYER AGAIN. It's simple. Marko's problems are twofold:

1) His eyes are too close together
2) He plays point guard like I end a night after drinking heavily; that is to say, he pisses his pants

There is no cure for #1. But #2 has a solution built in. Marko has the physical tools to be a decent basketball player, dammit all, I'm serious! But not where he is right now. He's too stupid and scared to play against Americans at the point. He gets burned by Tony Parker 3 times, and he starts to cry (which looks funny, because of the narrowly-spaced eyes). But enough jokes. Get this kid some confidence, and he can be a soldier. He can't play scared.

By losing Banks, I think the Wolves are done making moves for this coming season. I just don't see a lot of trade activity that the Wolves will be a part of. They don't have enough pieces to go after a superstar, and they aren't so bloated they need to dump salary. And this season could be huge, because I feel really bad about KG, worse than I've ever felt. He's blogging in Asia right now, and there is a glaring deficiency of Wolves-related posts. I understand... he's on the other side of the earth, he should be talking about different cultures and his experiences and all, but it's obvious that he just doesn't have much interest in discussing his professional team. And that's ok, but you can tell he's stewing about something, I mean, these moves can't make him happy.

But Randy Foye, man, that guy is so ghetto I heard his momma stabbed his girlfriend's phone up cause she was late with the Burger King. So, it might be all good.

July 20, 2006

Who Doesn't Love KG Commercials?

You'll notice a couple other Wolves in this add too! Get out the box cutter mutha fukka!

July 13, 2006

KG v TD and the world

Remember this? Yeah, that's what I thought. This is one of my favorites!

July 12, 2006

A Miraid Of Pictures...

Eddie Griffin.

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"Griffin also had a problem at Roman Catholic High School in Philadelphia. He was involved in a fight in the lunch room."

Awww, but look at him, he wouldn't fight anyone, would he?

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"Griffin was suspended for one game by coach Tommy Amaker for an incident following Saturday's game against Georgetown. Reports indicated Griffin hit teammate Ty Shine in the locker room."

Well, if that's to dude he's hangin' with, I guess fighting in the locker room is just part of his business. Do you see the look in that dudes' eyes? I'm pretty sure someone will get 'dealt with' soon.

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"He failed to show up for several practices in 2003 training camp and was suspended. During the suspension, there was gunfire at his home on Oct. 25. He was charged with assault with a deadly weapon. Later, he was ordered to stand trial on a misdemeanor for drug possession."

Hey Eddie, why you poutin'? You still mad you missed your ol' lady?

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"The suit alleges that Griffin was drunk and watching a porno movie on a DVD screen while driving and masturbating when he lost control of his vehicle. "

Just imagine the same look, but the eyes are droopy and can't see clear.

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"The hair on his head is closely cropped, and the facial hair is still thin enough to question whether or not it could grow other than above his lip and below his chin."

I just can't put enough emphasis on one's ability to grow a mustache. Your life success rate depends soley on that ability, and if you can't grow anything but a thin mustache, you're chances of success are just that: Slim.

Oh, and incase you forgot...

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July 11, 2006

Oh, so we up and steal Mike James?

That's enough to bring me back from the dead, sho nuff.

James is old, but he's consistent. I'd rather have him than Marko and Troy. Yeah, no shit. And I'd rather have 2 chocolate bars than a bird flu sandwich. They trade like dice these days. Anyway, yeah, I'm excited at that. Does that mean no more Banks? Well, if so, I guess that's not so bad. Banks has too much potential and raw energy, and not enough skills like "holding on to the basketball" and "passing to teammates instead of opponents". I'm not knocking though. It's all good. I'm just surprised James wants to play with the Wolves. I mean, come on. We're not exactly asking our bosses if it would be ok if we took a few weeks off in June "just in case", now, are we?

Welcome aboard James! Have you met Eddie Griffin? He's got some movies to show you...

July 10, 2006

Summer In Las Vegas

It’s early and he’s only playing against B and C level talent, but Randy Foye has certainly shown why the Wolves coveted him in this years NBA draft. Although I haven’t had an opportunity to see him play this summer, it sounds as though he’s picked up where he left off in the NCAA tournament in March. Which is a great sign for us Timberwolves fans.

Here are his box scores from three Las Vegas Summer games:

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A few numbers stick out for me, both good and bad.

Field Goal Percentage – The one thing that many said about Foye was that he needed to work on his shooting – 39.8% in college. While a majority of his shots are taken driving to the basket, it was reported that he settled for jumpers in the second half of the first game, in which he was 9-17 from the field. The Wolves still want him to work on his outside game, but he seems to have already done some of that work already.

Free Throw Attempts – This is an area that the Wolves have needed help in since, oh I don’t know, ever? They’ve never had someone who could consistently get to the charity stripe and so far, Foye looks like he’s pretty comfortable doing just that. His attempts, as you can see, have increased each game, and he shoots a good percentage – 78% in college. Again, it’s against low-tier talent, but if he can keep his aggressiveness up, he’ll really help the Wolves this season

Assists – The rap on Foye was that he was an undersized two-guard who, in spurts, could play the point. With only two assists in three games, that appears to be a more than accurate assessment. I also realize that Bracey Wright looks like he’s been playing most of the minutes at the point, with Foye at the two, so obviously his assists aren’t going to be there. He’s young and learning a new game, a new system, and hopefully soon, a new position. The comparisons to D-Wade – in game style only – seem to be accurate, which begs the question: What happens when Rashad McCants comes back?

The more I’ve read about Foye, the more I like him. He seems to be poised on either end of the floor and has a good head on his shoulders. I won’t really be able to make a complete judgment on him until I get to see him play, but thus far, I’m pleasantly surprised by McHale’s decision. I really can’t wait to see him play – again.