July 21, 2006

You Lie, You Deny, Pass Me The Microphone, I Guess Like Eddie Murphy, You Was Givin Him A Ride Home

Banks out, James in, Eddie needs to spend some time in jail, and KG's in fucking India.

This could be a rough season.

I don't really know what to expect going into October. Mike James is solid, and I don't just say that based on one season in Toronto, because to judge NBA players on their time in Toronto is like judging Dr. Dre on the World Class Wreckin Cru. It just doesn't play in theaters nationwide. But I think he'll be good, certainly provide more leadership and stability than any of the clowns since 2004. He's been pretty consistent in his career, and shoots pretty hot from outside, which you've got to like.

Marko remains like a stone around the Wolves' neck. Every other player on the roster has an "out". Even Blunt, hell, just start him and give him touches, he'll be fine. Ricky could be traded at anytime, for anybody. There are no rules when you look like he does. Hudson... just bench him, forever. Don't let him play ever again. It's fine. He doesn't need to ever walk again. He's a scumbag and always has been.

But Marko... what do you do with this guy? Well, you PUT HIM AT 2 AND GET HIM THINKING LIKE A BASKETBALL PLAYER AGAIN. It's simple. Marko's problems are twofold:

1) His eyes are too close together
2) He plays point guard like I end a night after drinking heavily; that is to say, he pisses his pants

There is no cure for #1. But #2 has a solution built in. Marko has the physical tools to be a decent basketball player, dammit all, I'm serious! But not where he is right now. He's too stupid and scared to play against Americans at the point. He gets burned by Tony Parker 3 times, and he starts to cry (which looks funny, because of the narrowly-spaced eyes). But enough jokes. Get this kid some confidence, and he can be a soldier. He can't play scared.

By losing Banks, I think the Wolves are done making moves for this coming season. I just don't see a lot of trade activity that the Wolves will be a part of. They don't have enough pieces to go after a superstar, and they aren't so bloated they need to dump salary. And this season could be huge, because I feel really bad about KG, worse than I've ever felt. He's blogging in Asia right now, and there is a glaring deficiency of Wolves-related posts. I understand... he's on the other side of the earth, he should be talking about different cultures and his experiences and all, but it's obvious that he just doesn't have much interest in discussing his professional team. And that's ok, but you can tell he's stewing about something, I mean, these moves can't make him happy.

But Randy Foye, man, that guy is so ghetto I heard his momma stabbed his girlfriend's phone up cause she was late with the Burger King. So, it might be all good.

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