Chris Erskine from the Los Angeles Times tries to review the mood at a recent Los Angeles Clippers game and either loses his mind or becomes completely sane. However you interpret this, it's quite the entertaining read.
http://www.latimes.com/news/columnists/la-sp-erskine26-2009feb26,0,1375239.column
February 26, 2009
February 19, 2009
Two Items For Local Basketball Teams
1. Hey Gophers, you wanna try going into half down by less than 15, errrrrrrrrrrrr?
2. Hey Wolves, you trading trash for trash, errrrrrrrrrrrr?
(sorry for the Dickfer-ness of this post)
2. Hey Wolves, you trading trash for trash, errrrrrrrrrrrr?
(sorry for the Dickfer-ness of this post)
January 29, 2009
January 28, 2009
My Lucky Day
Some days just end up better than others. Some days, you get to the bus stop just in time to catch your bus home, others you’re a half-block away when it goes by. Well, Tuesday was one of those good days. I didn’t sleep through my alarm, I got to the bus stop on time, and I happened to go to ESPN.com at the precise time that Stephon Marbury was participating in a live chat. BINGO!
I try not to miss any Starbury conversations because they usually end up in some crazy, nonsensical, rant about whatever thoughts are swimming in that guy’s head. And you KNOW how crazy he is. I decided to “record” the conversation in hopes he would provide some comical sustenance to my day. It didn’t turn out to be one of the more memorable Starbury outbursts, but there were a few items worth note. What follows is the parts of the conversation that inspired notes, thoughts, and reactions. The conversation in its entirety can be found here
Buzzmaster: (3:52 PM ET ) Stephon will be here soon!
Buzzmaster: (4:08 PM ET ) Sorry for the delay folks. We're tracking down Stephon right now.
Buzzmaster: (4:28 PM ET ) Stephon is here!
Stephon Marbury: (4:32 PM ET ) I am happy to explain to all my fans about the situation going on with the Knicks. To all you Knicks fan I still have a lot of love for you. I appreciate all the support you give me playing ball and with Starbury. With Starbury we are trying to do something for the community and make a product that everyonecan afford. As far as the situation with the team, it is nothing personal.
Okay, well, 30 minutes late on Starbury time is pretty good - he was advertised to arrive at 4. It’s like being an hour early. Also, here begins the Starbury Count. We’ll be recording how many times he mentions his fledgling business – I mean, it didn’t help Steve and Barry’s much, did it?
Starbury Count: 2
Chris (Mebane, North Carolina): With the relaunch of your shoes and clothing wear, will your products still be available at a local retail store and for the same price?
Stephon Marbury: (4:34 PM ET ) Yes we still have the same price at $14.92 and we have three lines, the signatures lines which is no more than $24.98 or less. We also have e-commerce, so anyone can access it all over the world. We are national and international. I am still working on going with Brick and Boarders and working with other retailers as we speak.
Of course one of the first questions is going to be a question about Starbury. Hey, I wanted MY question posted too, but I wasn’t willing to spoon feed Steph a reason to mention his company. Did he mention he sells shoes and clothing? Oh, and in case you’re unclear about international including national, he mentions both….
Starbury Count: 3
Peter: What was it like playing for Larry Brown?
Stephon Marbury: (4:38 PM ET ) It was tough because he demanded a lot. He is very hard on his PGs. Sometimes dealing with him off the court, with him speaking to the media about players, was difficult. But as I got older I learned he did not mean any harm and now I can accept it more than I did back then.
You mean, now that you don’t have to deal with Larry Brown anymore, you can handle it? So, as long as you don’t have to deal with something, you can handle it? Okay, just making sure we’re clear here.
Berk (NYC, NY): Steph, Why won't you consider taking a buyout and leave about 25% of your remaining contract on the table (as most players negotiating a buyout do)? Shouldn't you have to take a cut in pay so you can sign with the team you want to play for? And don't you think you are hurting your value in the free agent market?
Stephon Marbury: (4:41 PM ET ) I cannot say about my free agent value, but I think other teams know what I can do. The reason I am not taking 25% less is because I signed a contract. I did not come here saying I wanted to part ways with the team, they chose to do this. I do not feel like I should give my money back to them. They are the ones who want to go in another direction.
This post begins the “Their Fault” Counter. We’ll keep track of each time Steph throws the blame on someone else. I mean, THEY chose to do it, THEY are doing bad, THEY THEY THEY!
Their Fault Count: 2
Mikey NYC: What was up with your trip out to LA in December to watch the Knicks play the Lakers? Were you trying to send a message to the team? And if so what was the message?
Stephon Marbury: (4:42 PM ET ) I just wanted to see the game and enjoy it. I am still a Knicks fan at heart.
It’s their fault, but no, it’s cool, I’m still a fan. I’m a slug as an employee, but I really like them – they’re my favorite. But I refuse to do the job their paying for. Hey – FANS don’t HAVE to go to the games…
Jason (Philly): What was the general attitude in the locker room towards Isaih?
Stephon Marbury: (4:43 PM ET ) I guess guys saved face.
What? Yeah, I guess…?
Derek (Tucson, Az): If you were asked today to return to knicks and play for them. Would you play?
Stephon Marbury: (4:44 PM ET ) Tehy chose their direction and I am trying to move on and end the relationship, becasue D'Antoni wanted the relationship ended from the start of the year.
Their Fault Count: 3
JB ( Raleigh, Nc): What is the proudest moment in your basketball career?
Stephon Marbury: (4:45 PM ET ) I have two: 1) My high school championship and 2) Getting drafted.
High school? Really? I guess, that’s the ONLY place he’s EVER won, as far as basketball goes. I realize that, if you didn't get past college ball, how your high school championship might be #1 on your list of accomplishments, but he plays basketball professionally. For a lot of money. At least there wasn’t a Starbury reference in there.
Matt (MN): Do you regret the way things ended in Minnesota? What could you and KG have done the past 10 years if you had stayed together?
Stephon Marbury: (4:47 PM ET ) I do not regret what happened and I do not think things went badly. I just chose not to re-sign. When I told the owner I was not going to re-sign I did it so they could go get a new PG. I do not know what could have happened. I could assume the best would have happened, but that would be just me assuming.
Geez Steph, thanks for being so "thoughtful" and forcing us to trade a point guard so we could go get a new one. We really appreciate your "generous" act.
Their Fault Count: 5
Nick (Orlando, FL): How do you want to be remembered when you have retired? Do you feel that this contract mess will harm your legacy?
Stephon Marbury: (4:48 PM ET ) I would not say it would harm it, because if I go to another team and win some titles my legacy would be based on that. I have a lot of basketball left inside of me. People may think I am done, but I have a lot of basketball left.
He’s right – this contract situation probably won’t do any damage to his legacy. The prior 10 years of his career already SMASHED his legacy. Hard to break what’s already broken, you know? Only so much damage you can do.
Scott (Austin, TX): The rap on you is that you have been a selfish player. How would you respond to that comment? How do you think your teammates would respond?
Stephon Marbury: (4:51 PM ET ) I do not know why people would say that. I do not shoot the ball 25 times a night. I have averaged 8 assists throughout my career. I was always the person that was basically the blame guy and I understand that comes from being the highest paid player. But look at the number of shots per game taken in my career and you will see it is not that many. So I do not believe I am a selfish player. I go on the court to win and that is it.
Well, going onto the court with the goal of winning is much different than going on the court and winning. In case we’re unclear. Oh, and just because you average 8 assists per game, doesn’t mean you’re NOT selfish. Again, just so we’re clear.
Lionel NYC: Do you think you'll get into the hall of fame?
Stephon Marbury: (4:53 PM ET ) I do not know. You never know what can happen. I can go to another team and win a title or two. You never know what is going to happen in the future, that is why you must allow your presence to be bright.
Ah HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Oh, you’re serious?
Okay, seriously.
Two words. Fuck. No.
kevin(la,ca): do you still think you are the best point guard?
Stephon Marbury: (4:54 PM ET ) I got to get back on the court before I make a statement like that.
Read: Yes, I do.
Dan (Hamilton, ON): Since beginning your career in New York, how would you describe your experience with the Knicks, and if you could go back to the day you arrived in New York, would you still have come to play for the Knicks if you could do it over again?
Stephon Marbury: (4:59 PM ET ) The first day I came back it was a rebrith for me from a basketball perspective. I was playing in my hometown. I would do it all over again, because I have learned so much and grown so much because of the move. I was able to build Starbury.com. There have been a lot of things that has allowed me to build a successful sneaker and clothing line and made me a better person and helped me grow.
His basketball “rebirth” was very similar to how the food I ate a yesterday had a “rebirth” when I sat down on the toilet this morning.
Starbury Count: 5
Anthony (New York): What will you do after your basketball career is over
Stephon Marbury: (5:01 PM ET ) I am a business man. I love real estate and my sneaker company, keep up with the Starbury brand. I am a philanthropist. I like going to charity events and helping people. I like speaking to young kids and telling them they can get out of the ghetto. I also want to go back to school and get my degree. And I want to challenge myself in life to be better every day.
Personally I hope he goes away.
Starbury Count: 7
Mike (NY, NYC): Do care that you may be hurting the Knicks by not accepting a reasonable buyout?
Stephon Marbury: (5:04 PM ET ) This is a business. Just think, if you signed a contract and you were supposed to get $100 and then the person you signed the contract with said they would only give you $80, how would you feel? Forget about basketball and just think about it as a deal.
I love how he puts it into dollar amounts that “we” can grasp. Instead of the $20 MILLION he’s getting paid. There’s a big difference in taking a 20% pay short when you’re making $100 versus $20 MILLION. I mean, Steph doesn’t even have 6 kids from 4 different women like Spree does, so I’m sure he’s not struggling to feed his family.
Their Fault Count: 6
Will - San Francisco: What is the biggest misconception about you?
Stephon Marbury: (5:06 PM ET ) When people get to meet me they understand me a lot better. I speak my mind. And because I do that people have a hard time dealing with it. I think a lot of people do not like speaking their mind. I am an open book. I have no secrets. I am not perfect, but I try to learn and grow from the mistakes I made, so I can be a better person.
Sooooo, what’s the biggest misconception then?
Stephon Marbury: (5:09 PM ET ) Thanks to everyone for coming on to the ESPN chat. I am sure there are some questions I could not get to, but I am blessed to be able to be talking to you and I thank God for letting you hear my side of the story. Most of the time you only hear one side of the story and not the other. So for me to be able to share with you my side, makes me very happy. Thank you for supporting Starbury and everything else. Make sure to check out Starbury.com!
Thank YOU Steph, for giving me something entertaining to read while I killed the last bit of my work day.
Final Totals:
Starbury Count: 9
Their Fault Count 6
I know that it wasn't quite as good as some of past media "appearances" but still, the guy is totally insane and just doesn't have a great grasp on reality. Of course, if he did, we wouldn't have a constant source of entertainment. I mean, he's the ONLY thing left of the Knick Circus that's still capable of giving us something.
*note:
If you read the whole chat, you will have undoubtedly noticed the section where all he talks about is Kobe and the Lakers, like he was applying for a job there.
I try not to miss any Starbury conversations because they usually end up in some crazy, nonsensical, rant about whatever thoughts are swimming in that guy’s head. And you KNOW how crazy he is. I decided to “record” the conversation in hopes he would provide some comical sustenance to my day. It didn’t turn out to be one of the more memorable Starbury outbursts, but there were a few items worth note. What follows is the parts of the conversation that inspired notes, thoughts, and reactions. The conversation in its entirety can be found here
Buzzmaster: (3:52 PM ET ) Stephon will be here soon!
Buzzmaster: (4:08 PM ET ) Sorry for the delay folks. We're tracking down Stephon right now.
Buzzmaster: (4:28 PM ET ) Stephon is here!
Stephon Marbury: (4:32 PM ET ) I am happy to explain to all my fans about the situation going on with the Knicks. To all you Knicks fan I still have a lot of love for you. I appreciate all the support you give me playing ball and with Starbury. With Starbury we are trying to do something for the community and make a product that everyonecan afford. As far as the situation with the team, it is nothing personal.
Okay, well, 30 minutes late on Starbury time is pretty good - he was advertised to arrive at 4. It’s like being an hour early. Also, here begins the Starbury Count. We’ll be recording how many times he mentions his fledgling business – I mean, it didn’t help Steve and Barry’s much, did it?
Starbury Count: 2
Chris (Mebane, North Carolina): With the relaunch of your shoes and clothing wear, will your products still be available at a local retail store and for the same price?
Stephon Marbury: (4:34 PM ET ) Yes we still have the same price at $14.92 and we have three lines, the signatures lines which is no more than $24.98 or less. We also have e-commerce, so anyone can access it all over the world. We are national and international. I am still working on going with Brick and Boarders and working with other retailers as we speak.
Of course one of the first questions is going to be a question about Starbury. Hey, I wanted MY question posted too, but I wasn’t willing to spoon feed Steph a reason to mention his company. Did he mention he sells shoes and clothing? Oh, and in case you’re unclear about international including national, he mentions both….
Starbury Count: 3
Peter: What was it like playing for Larry Brown?
Stephon Marbury: (4:38 PM ET ) It was tough because he demanded a lot. He is very hard on his PGs. Sometimes dealing with him off the court, with him speaking to the media about players, was difficult. But as I got older I learned he did not mean any harm and now I can accept it more than I did back then.
You mean, now that you don’t have to deal with Larry Brown anymore, you can handle it? So, as long as you don’t have to deal with something, you can handle it? Okay, just making sure we’re clear here.
Berk (NYC, NY): Steph, Why won't you consider taking a buyout and leave about 25% of your remaining contract on the table (as most players negotiating a buyout do)? Shouldn't you have to take a cut in pay so you can sign with the team you want to play for? And don't you think you are hurting your value in the free agent market?
Stephon Marbury: (4:41 PM ET ) I cannot say about my free agent value, but I think other teams know what I can do. The reason I am not taking 25% less is because I signed a contract. I did not come here saying I wanted to part ways with the team, they chose to do this. I do not feel like I should give my money back to them. They are the ones who want to go in another direction.
This post begins the “Their Fault” Counter. We’ll keep track of each time Steph throws the blame on someone else. I mean, THEY chose to do it, THEY are doing bad, THEY THEY THEY!
Their Fault Count: 2
Mikey NYC: What was up with your trip out to LA in December to watch the Knicks play the Lakers? Were you trying to send a message to the team? And if so what was the message?
Stephon Marbury: (4:42 PM ET ) I just wanted to see the game and enjoy it. I am still a Knicks fan at heart.
It’s their fault, but no, it’s cool, I’m still a fan. I’m a slug as an employee, but I really like them – they’re my favorite. But I refuse to do the job their paying for. Hey – FANS don’t HAVE to go to the games…
Jason (Philly): What was the general attitude in the locker room towards Isaih?
Stephon Marbury: (4:43 PM ET ) I guess guys saved face.
What? Yeah, I guess…?
Derek (Tucson, Az): If you were asked today to return to knicks and play for them. Would you play?
Stephon Marbury: (4:44 PM ET ) Tehy chose their direction and I am trying to move on and end the relationship, becasue D'Antoni wanted the relationship ended from the start of the year.
Their Fault Count: 3
JB ( Raleigh, Nc): What is the proudest moment in your basketball career?
Stephon Marbury: (4:45 PM ET ) I have two: 1) My high school championship and 2) Getting drafted.
High school? Really? I guess, that’s the ONLY place he’s EVER won, as far as basketball goes. I realize that, if you didn't get past college ball, how your high school championship might be #1 on your list of accomplishments, but he plays basketball professionally. For a lot of money. At least there wasn’t a Starbury reference in there.
Matt (MN): Do you regret the way things ended in Minnesota? What could you and KG have done the past 10 years if you had stayed together?
Stephon Marbury: (4:47 PM ET ) I do not regret what happened and I do not think things went badly. I just chose not to re-sign. When I told the owner I was not going to re-sign I did it so they could go get a new PG. I do not know what could have happened. I could assume the best would have happened, but that would be just me assuming.
Geez Steph, thanks for being so "thoughtful" and forcing us to trade a point guard so we could go get a new one. We really appreciate your "generous" act.
Their Fault Count: 5
Nick (Orlando, FL): How do you want to be remembered when you have retired? Do you feel that this contract mess will harm your legacy?
Stephon Marbury: (4:48 PM ET ) I would not say it would harm it, because if I go to another team and win some titles my legacy would be based on that. I have a lot of basketball left inside of me. People may think I am done, but I have a lot of basketball left.
He’s right – this contract situation probably won’t do any damage to his legacy. The prior 10 years of his career already SMASHED his legacy. Hard to break what’s already broken, you know? Only so much damage you can do.
Scott (Austin, TX): The rap on you is that you have been a selfish player. How would you respond to that comment? How do you think your teammates would respond?
Stephon Marbury: (4:51 PM ET ) I do not know why people would say that. I do not shoot the ball 25 times a night. I have averaged 8 assists throughout my career. I was always the person that was basically the blame guy and I understand that comes from being the highest paid player. But look at the number of shots per game taken in my career and you will see it is not that many. So I do not believe I am a selfish player. I go on the court to win and that is it.
Well, going onto the court with the goal of winning is much different than going on the court and winning. In case we’re unclear. Oh, and just because you average 8 assists per game, doesn’t mean you’re NOT selfish. Again, just so we’re clear.
Lionel NYC: Do you think you'll get into the hall of fame?
Stephon Marbury: (4:53 PM ET ) I do not know. You never know what can happen. I can go to another team and win a title or two. You never know what is going to happen in the future, that is why you must allow your presence to be bright.
Ah HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Oh, you’re serious?
Okay, seriously.
Two words. Fuck. No.
kevin(la,ca): do you still think you are the best point guard?
Stephon Marbury: (4:54 PM ET ) I got to get back on the court before I make a statement like that.
Read: Yes, I do.
Dan (Hamilton, ON): Since beginning your career in New York, how would you describe your experience with the Knicks, and if you could go back to the day you arrived in New York, would you still have come to play for the Knicks if you could do it over again?
Stephon Marbury: (4:59 PM ET ) The first day I came back it was a rebrith for me from a basketball perspective. I was playing in my hometown. I would do it all over again, because I have learned so much and grown so much because of the move. I was able to build Starbury.com. There have been a lot of things that has allowed me to build a successful sneaker and clothing line and made me a better person and helped me grow.
His basketball “rebirth” was very similar to how the food I ate a yesterday had a “rebirth” when I sat down on the toilet this morning.
Starbury Count: 5
Anthony (New York): What will you do after your basketball career is over
Stephon Marbury: (5:01 PM ET ) I am a business man. I love real estate and my sneaker company, keep up with the Starbury brand. I am a philanthropist. I like going to charity events and helping people. I like speaking to young kids and telling them they can get out of the ghetto. I also want to go back to school and get my degree. And I want to challenge myself in life to be better every day.
Personally I hope he goes away.
Starbury Count: 7
Mike (NY, NYC): Do care that you may be hurting the Knicks by not accepting a reasonable buyout?
Stephon Marbury: (5:04 PM ET ) This is a business. Just think, if you signed a contract and you were supposed to get $100 and then the person you signed the contract with said they would only give you $80, how would you feel? Forget about basketball and just think about it as a deal.
I love how he puts it into dollar amounts that “we” can grasp. Instead of the $20 MILLION he’s getting paid. There’s a big difference in taking a 20% pay short when you’re making $100 versus $20 MILLION. I mean, Steph doesn’t even have 6 kids from 4 different women like Spree does, so I’m sure he’s not struggling to feed his family.
Their Fault Count: 6
Will - San Francisco: What is the biggest misconception about you?
Stephon Marbury: (5:06 PM ET ) When people get to meet me they understand me a lot better. I speak my mind. And because I do that people have a hard time dealing with it. I think a lot of people do not like speaking their mind. I am an open book. I have no secrets. I am not perfect, but I try to learn and grow from the mistakes I made, so I can be a better person.
Sooooo, what’s the biggest misconception then?
Stephon Marbury: (5:09 PM ET ) Thanks to everyone for coming on to the ESPN chat. I am sure there are some questions I could not get to, but I am blessed to be able to be talking to you and I thank God for letting you hear my side of the story. Most of the time you only hear one side of the story and not the other. So for me to be able to share with you my side, makes me very happy. Thank you for supporting Starbury and everything else. Make sure to check out Starbury.com!
Thank YOU Steph, for giving me something entertaining to read while I killed the last bit of my work day.
Final Totals:
Starbury Count: 9
Their Fault Count 6
I know that it wasn't quite as good as some of past media "appearances" but still, the guy is totally insane and just doesn't have a great grasp on reality. Of course, if he did, we wouldn't have a constant source of entertainment. I mean, he's the ONLY thing left of the Knick Circus that's still capable of giving us something.
*note:
If you read the whole chat, you will have undoubtedly noticed the section where all he talks about is Kobe and the Lakers, like he was applying for a job there.
January 22, 2009
Couldn't....Help...Myself....
Jerome James today will undergo surgery to repair a ruptured achilles tendon in his right leg. He will miss the rest of the season.
-Newsday.com
The "cause" of this injury was:
A. Participating in "basketball related activities"
B. Eddy Curry stole his candy
C. Two words: Donut Race
D. Two more words: Morbid Obesity
Also, wasn't he going to "miss" the rest of the season anyways? He's played two games this season. Zero since December 21.
I'll sure "miss" watching him "play basketball."
Marko??
Oh no, sorry. It's just you Danilo.
On the fantasy section of Yahoo!, the heading above this picture said 'At First Sight.' Are we sure he can even see? I mean, the eyes, they're crossed.
The real question is what song is he humming to himself? Enter Sandman or That's Amore?
January 17, 2009
Get To Know Your MAAC
College basketball... there's really nothing like it. This is the time of year in sporting community (read: gambling community) that really can grind the gears if you're not careful. The NBA has maybe 2 or 3 teams that try. Seriously. It's Cleveland, Boston, Orlando, and what? The Lakers? Then why does Andrew Bynum look like he just doesn't give a fuck? Oh yeah, is it because he's like every other NBA player? It's no coincidence that the Wolves always get "hot" this time of year. Oh yeah, you think? I think it might be more "Phoenix doesn't give a fuck because it's not playoff time yet" than it is "Kevin Love is actually a quality player and doesn't go boom-boom in his diaper before the game". If you're tracing money in the NBA, it pretty much starts AND stops with New York Knicks overs, and the rest is just darts at the board.
They still won't let you bet on college hockey, and if you bet on the professionals, you may just as well be wearing a Polaris jacket.
The NFL is fucking rigged, so nothing matters at all. Arizona, win in Carolina? SURE WHY NOT?!?!? It's stupid. There was money to be made in bowls, but those times are gone, and we're left thinking about our next year's future bet, which will probably involve some dogshit Big 12 team who will get its teeth kicked in by LSU/Alabama/Florida next January. Fuuuuuuck it.
So what is there to do? RESEARCH YOUR COLLEGE BASKETBALL!
(lyrics provided by Eazy E, of course)
"I hope that your fans understand when you're talkin bout sprayin me / The same records that you're makin is payin me"
UNC and Duke. Hey, that's a cute little rivalry you guys have. And you realllllllly think you are the top two teams in the country, eh? Well, you kids on tobacco road have your fun. Because the teams that are going to get it done in March live in ghettoville, as we saw from Memphis last year. Sleep on UCLA at your own risk. Same with Wake.
I have this theory about Duke (no, not that every one of their basketball players needs a fist in their kiss-holes) ... They play like horsepiss in the tournament every year because they get so used to getting waxed off at home by those idiots in Cameron. Seriously.... their fans go deathly quiet when one of the Blue Dukies is shooting free throws. Do you guys think that's going to condition them to play well in pressure situations? You can just see Singler stepping up to the line with this year's Chris Douglas Roberts barking at him from down low with the game in the balance? Hey guess who's going pee?!?!?!
"I don't think I'm all this or that, but I'm all me"
Don't look now, but the Golden Gophies are running and gunning their way to the top of the Big 11. Bo welcomed you to this column with double thumbs, but he looked like he took a kick in the groin on Thursday, eh??? Here's a hint for Wisconsin, you might think that recruiting the latest iteration of Sam Okey will please your fans and help you grind out wins against Indiana with remarkable consistency. AND IT WILL. What it will not do, however, is enable your team to pass the ball beyond the half-court line anytime when it matters. 6 foot 9 white guys who make their throws and can't seem to close their mouths when shooting may SEEM to be the answer, and within Bo Ball, well they look downright golden, but when you guys play Michigan???? JESUS MERCY. Someone's getting ghetto, and it's not Madison.
Back to the Gophers, I'm actually not surprised that they are as good as they are... they've played over their heads in spurts, but have also made a lot of rookie mistakes. That will happen when you employ Ralph Sampson III. Seriously, this looks like a child who just got his driver's license.... he's one of those kids you see in your Sophomore math class and just KNOW that he's in 8th grade and on the "fast track" to MIT. His baby face is only made worse by the fact that he's a manchild in the paint, but when it comes to decisions, sometimes Ralph just slips up. That's ok though. The child will have time to grow. He's got good genes. And he blocks your shot just like he drinks a cup of coffee... actually strike that. He's not old enough for coffee yet.
"Doin wicked shit cause shit is wicked on the streets / And from what my eyes see, the wickedness will never cease"
I've been having some fun with the following betting creed:
When a team ranked 10-25 plays on the road, against a respectable, but unranked, conference opponent, BET THE HOME TEAM DEAR GOD BET IT ALL.
Home crowds are good for a 10 point swing these days, maybe more. USC just absolutely demolished Arizona State, after they had beaten the Oregon teams by a combined 1000 points the week before. Duke can't cover shit in Florida State, but get them at home and it's BOY HOWDY NOBODY CLAP DURING THE FREE THROWS OR KYLE GETS CONFUSED. Then there's the Big 10, Northwestern took Purdue to the dick, and Ohio State's fans have to cheer loudly because their football team kisses the pink these days. Don't even start with Michigan. About the only stadium where the home crowd doesn't seem to matter is in Indiana, but I bet they'll beat Iowa there. Why not? These kids are looking at a deepening depression, and by the time they get out of college, it's going to be like "Well, that's a great degree in Sociology, can you swing a maul?" and that's the lucky ones that even get the interviews. Cheer like hell, Brianna, because these are the times to remember. And they will not last forever.
"You can fool the people on the east coast, and the midwest / But in LA, you still ain't passed the test"
The recruiting monopoly in LA is over. And UCLA is the winner. USC is still keeping it horribly gatto, but that's only good for a second round berth. Ben Howland has beat the game, and he's got the system in place to keep churning them out. I don't know how far they'll go, but I can say this: There is a GLUT of pretenders this year, teams from Pitt to UNC to Georgetown... these scumbag teams who couldn't cover Bethune Cookman, and someone's going to put them in their place. Come tournament time, it's going to be balance that takes it all, as Kansas proved last year. Well, had Memphis been able to make A free throw, let alone 4 free throws, they would've won, but still.
And, in conclusion:
December 17, 2008
The Mockhounds are About!
Yeah, the season is not even 1/3 done and we've got the 2009 Draft Hounds out and rolling - much to my enjoyment. Nothing like thinking about the future when there is nothing in the present. So, as I wandered onto ESPN.com and checked the mock lottery, the Wolves ended up with the second pick - just like their second-worst record would indicate. Who did they have us selecting? Hasheem Thabeet from Connecticut. Think poor-mans Dikembe Mutombo, except he looks like the kid from the first season of The Wire.
He rebounds like a crazy man and blocks shots like he was peelin' caps, but he's a major concern on the offensive end, and he's built like a taller version of KG - 7'3" 265lbs. - minus the strength. Okay, if we didn't have Al Jefferson and Kevin Love already, I might be behind that pick. However, we've already got two guys who are going to need major minutes at the 4 and 5, and other GLARING weaknesses. I'm not saying we don't need a guy like Thabeet, but there are other weaknesses that need attention first.
WE NEED A FUCKING POINT GUARD!!!!!
The player taken after our pick? Ricky Rubio, PG from Spain. Jose Calderon, Sergio Rodriguez, Rudy Fernandez. Who are they you ask? Other Spanish point guards, all of whom are quality NBA players. Take all those young men, pour in an equal part Pete Maravich, and you have Ricky Rubio. Do EVERYTHING IT TAKES to get this kid on our team. He's an amazing basketball player and - Glen Taylor may like this part - he's probably the most popular player in Spain! Wouldn't it be fun to sell Wolves jerseys around the world? Plus, he's an exciting player - unlike Thabeet - and those guys tend to put butts in the seats.
DRAFT. HIM. NOW.
Seriously.
He rebounds like a crazy man and blocks shots like he was peelin' caps, but he's a major concern on the offensive end, and he's built like a taller version of KG - 7'3" 265lbs. - minus the strength. Okay, if we didn't have Al Jefferson and Kevin Love already, I might be behind that pick. However, we've already got two guys who are going to need major minutes at the 4 and 5, and other GLARING weaknesses. I'm not saying we don't need a guy like Thabeet, but there are other weaknesses that need attention first.
WE NEED A FUCKING POINT GUARD!!!!!
The player taken after our pick? Ricky Rubio, PG from Spain. Jose Calderon, Sergio Rodriguez, Rudy Fernandez. Who are they you ask? Other Spanish point guards, all of whom are quality NBA players. Take all those young men, pour in an equal part Pete Maravich, and you have Ricky Rubio. Do EVERYTHING IT TAKES to get this kid on our team. He's an amazing basketball player and - Glen Taylor may like this part - he's probably the most popular player in Spain! Wouldn't it be fun to sell Wolves jerseys around the world? Plus, he's an exciting player - unlike Thabeet - and those guys tend to put butts in the seats.
DRAFT. HIM. NOW.
Seriously.
December 15, 2008
Who fires Deadzo?
Does he fire himself? How does that work? Is he in his sweet spot right now? No one to answer to. You think Owner cares? Will 10k show up to see Lebron? Notice I said show up. I have to watch this team the rest of the year, just so I can see how bad it can get. They're a trainwreck.
December 8, 2008
Firing Randy Wittman and installing Kevin McHale as coach is most like which of the following scenarios?
1. Throwing lawn chairs off the deck of the Titanic.
2. Putting down hot wings and reaching for a mayo-burger.
3. Robbing Peter to pay Paul.
4. Robbing the fans of the Timberwolves to pay the ego of the owner of the Timberwolves.
5. Not being able to decide between Ranch and Blue Cheese, so telling the waitress you want them "both on the side".
6. Just dumping them both on your salad anyway.
7. Dropping out of Brown College and taking online courses at Capella University.
8. Firing a dumb idiot coach who has no business whatsoever even pouring drinks at the Bulldog let alone coaching millionaires in a sport and replacing him with an animated corpse, one so fucking dumb and incompetent that he somehow replaced ISAIAH FUCKING THOMAS as the dumbest, most inept GM in all of sport, a man who traded the franchise away like he makes a cup of coffee, with a tremendous amount of fucking-up, a man who broke the only thing that was good about Basketball in Minnesota, and then assembled the most awful team he could, a man who should've been fired 6 years ago, when he ballsed up the Joe Smith signing, a man who is grossly incompetent, a bad coach, a horrible GM, a dumb human being, the bane of my existence and the reason that I don't even like the fucking sport of basketball anymore.
------------------------------
Happy guessing!
2. Putting down hot wings and reaching for a mayo-burger.
3. Robbing Peter to pay Paul.
4. Robbing the fans of the Timberwolves to pay the ego of the owner of the Timberwolves.
5. Not being able to decide between Ranch and Blue Cheese, so telling the waitress you want them "both on the side".
6. Just dumping them both on your salad anyway.
7. Dropping out of Brown College and taking online courses at Capella University.
8. Firing a dumb idiot coach who has no business whatsoever even pouring drinks at the Bulldog let alone coaching millionaires in a sport and replacing him with an animated corpse, one so fucking dumb and incompetent that he somehow replaced ISAIAH FUCKING THOMAS as the dumbest, most inept GM in all of sport, a man who traded the franchise away like he makes a cup of coffee, with a tremendous amount of fucking-up, a man who broke the only thing that was good about Basketball in Minnesota, and then assembled the most awful team he could, a man who should've been fired 6 years ago, when he ballsed up the Joe Smith signing, a man who is grossly incompetent, a bad coach, a horrible GM, a dumb human being, the bane of my existence and the reason that I don't even like the fucking sport of basketball anymore.
------------------------------
Happy guessing!
December 5, 2008
Liveblogging Wolves/Nets
I also will be checking in on the more important MAC Championship between Ball St. and Buffalo.
OK, here we go. Mike Miller is wearing a suit and tie I wore for band rehearsal in Jr. High. New uniforms, they look like warm-ups. Izod Center. Izod . . . the cheap polos? Announcers keep on saying "Yi" for some reason. Good courtside rows still available. Crowd only cares when Vince has the ball. Check that, good Izod Centers still available for this game. Oh god Lopez. Child still coaches the Nets. Vince might scored 90 this game. So, the Izod Center. Izod . . . where did you get the money? Or is this a sign of the times. Bombs away for the Nets. I have seen Al Jefferson play for 5 minutes and it is a shame he plays for the Wolves. He is better than that. Yi from 3, good. Yi for 3, good. Lopez. Whatever worked in college, not so much in the pros. McCants with the tatts. It is just Foye and Jefferson for Wolves offense, everyone else wants the game to be over. 31-17 end of the 1st. It is not that the Wolves are bad, they don't care (less Jefferson). The Nets are now playing "who can hit the longest 3?". With the score 34-17, announcer says, "Wolves have yet to find their equilibrium." Really? Jesus, just disband Wolves. Do everyone a favor. Oh Christ, there is a guy in a yellow suit, Monday night football style, selling tickets for Wolves games in a commercial. Priceless shot of Wittman with a face palm. Madsen dribbling. The Nets are losing interest.
They need to pick it up in the football game, you know?
Lopez will be a Wolve someday. He is destined. Another missed shot by Lopez, awkward player. Don Overbeck commercials are kind of cool. Yi from 3, good.
The first half is over and was very painful to watch. I will now watch this game while splitting time with MAC football and Mich./Michigan St. hockey. Again, very painful to watch the Wolves.
The Nets only try when the Wolves get within 7 or so. Yi from 3, good. Devin Harris isn't bad. 70-51 Nets. Announcer says, "Wolves are teetering right now". I'm out.
OK, here we go. Mike Miller is wearing a suit and tie I wore for band rehearsal in Jr. High. New uniforms, they look like warm-ups. Izod Center. Izod . . . the cheap polos? Announcers keep on saying "Yi" for some reason. Good courtside rows still available. Crowd only cares when Vince has the ball. Check that, good Izod Centers still available for this game. Oh god Lopez. Child still coaches the Nets. Vince might scored 90 this game. So, the Izod Center. Izod . . . where did you get the money? Or is this a sign of the times. Bombs away for the Nets. I have seen Al Jefferson play for 5 minutes and it is a shame he plays for the Wolves. He is better than that. Yi from 3, good. Yi for 3, good. Lopez. Whatever worked in college, not so much in the pros. McCants with the tatts. It is just Foye and Jefferson for Wolves offense, everyone else wants the game to be over. 31-17 end of the 1st. It is not that the Wolves are bad, they don't care (less Jefferson). The Nets are now playing "who can hit the longest 3?". With the score 34-17, announcer says, "Wolves have yet to find their equilibrium." Really? Jesus, just disband Wolves. Do everyone a favor. Oh Christ, there is a guy in a yellow suit, Monday night football style, selling tickets for Wolves games in a commercial. Priceless shot of Wittman with a face palm. Madsen dribbling. The Nets are losing interest.
They need to pick it up in the football game, you know?
Lopez will be a Wolve someday. He is destined. Another missed shot by Lopez, awkward player. Don Overbeck commercials are kind of cool. Yi from 3, good.
The first half is over and was very painful to watch. I will now watch this game while splitting time with MAC football and Mich./Michigan St. hockey. Again, very painful to watch the Wolves.
The Nets only try when the Wolves get within 7 or so. Yi from 3, good. Devin Harris isn't bad. 70-51 Nets. Announcer says, "Wolves are teetering right now". I'm out.
November 29, 2008
An Occurance In The Association
Consult your zodiacs for more information, but last night, two teams that I refuse to recognize as professional basketball organizations played each other in Okla-fucking-homa.
The game was as meaningless as the parties involved. Huzzah!
The game was as meaningless as the parties involved. Huzzah!
November 19, 2008
The Sideshow Grinds On
(I don't mean to double post for this blog today, but the Wolves did win, which can give some of you regulars a brief smile. But this has been brewing and I have to beat Dave to it)
I can write this in the grandstands, surrounded by eager audience members. They are all enjoying the entertainment in the center ring as they usually do. None of them know why I am here or what notes I'm taking. It's just that, as they stare at the lion and other acts in the ring...I'm looking off to the side. There's a show to the side, despite the little attention it draws. I wonder if anyone else is noticing this act. I'd say a snarky comment to someone near me, but it's fairly clear that they aren't looking at the sideshow. I fear I'll catch the eye of the sideshow's performers. We'll only lock eyes for a second - not even a moment - but that will do plenty. Much like the scene in The Warriors when the disco prom kids get on the train, our shared view of each other says more than a string of words ever could.
Fried foods and an overall toxic atmosphere surrounded your writer when I was at the circus the other night. It was during a rare miscue for the center ring. I brought up the sideshow, just to see what they'd say. Of course, they had NO thoughts. They aren't interested (and larger groups of people pretending to be interested) in anything else but the center ring.
The sideshow has been right there every year the circus has been in town. This decade, it's been right next to the center ring. It's closer by location though, not by talent. I often wonder if those in the sideshow feel any guilt. Perhaps there is a weather-beaten pride that exists that someone IS watching and that someone does care. This is a lonely feeling, I can only guess. They aren't getting paid in this circus to fail or to not entertain. Instead they are getting paid while poorly doing their job. And so, before the circus came to town this year fanfare was made - the "ringmaster" (something that deserves quotes for a sideshow if anything ever has) was removed from his duties. This hardly seems like the big solution, or the one thing preventing those in the sideshow to move to the center ring. (Or take it over, when you consider the owner of the sideshow is more concerned that you purchase a high rise condo in a nowhere neighborhood because there's "only 85 left!" and they're "priced to sell!")
Just watching failure makes anyone uncomfortable. It can be avoided: channel changed, eyes away or closed. It's selfish to say "I'm going to pay attention to the circus, maybe even go a few times, once it's good." But the center ring and the sideshow owe you nothing unless you have paid your own money to see the entertainment in person. Strange, isn't it, that I can find very little news about the sideshow. There's no travelling writer for the sideshow in the largest newspaper where this circus calls home. There is also no "blog" in this paper's website for the sideshow. As a matter of fact, the news of a stupendously unimpressive feat of strength in a barnstorming town received little fanfare. This newspaper printed an anonymous story from the Associated Press.
Whenever the weather gets colder (and we're told it will, eventually and for only a brief period) it is fair for this prognostication: the sideshow will remain a curio. It will be left to its own and ignored. Not out of shame, but indifference. Like that grocery store you visit because it's so odd, knowing full well they won't have what you need. I plan on giving sideshow reports from time to time. This will occur only so I shall remember that it exists at all.
I can write this in the grandstands, surrounded by eager audience members. They are all enjoying the entertainment in the center ring as they usually do. None of them know why I am here or what notes I'm taking. It's just that, as they stare at the lion and other acts in the ring...I'm looking off to the side. There's a show to the side, despite the little attention it draws. I wonder if anyone else is noticing this act. I'd say a snarky comment to someone near me, but it's fairly clear that they aren't looking at the sideshow. I fear I'll catch the eye of the sideshow's performers. We'll only lock eyes for a second - not even a moment - but that will do plenty. Much like the scene in The Warriors when the disco prom kids get on the train, our shared view of each other says more than a string of words ever could.
Fried foods and an overall toxic atmosphere surrounded your writer when I was at the circus the other night. It was during a rare miscue for the center ring. I brought up the sideshow, just to see what they'd say. Of course, they had NO thoughts. They aren't interested (and larger groups of people pretending to be interested) in anything else but the center ring.
The sideshow has been right there every year the circus has been in town. This decade, it's been right next to the center ring. It's closer by location though, not by talent. I often wonder if those in the sideshow feel any guilt. Perhaps there is a weather-beaten pride that exists that someone IS watching and that someone does care. This is a lonely feeling, I can only guess. They aren't getting paid in this circus to fail or to not entertain. Instead they are getting paid while poorly doing their job. And so, before the circus came to town this year fanfare was made - the "ringmaster" (something that deserves quotes for a sideshow if anything ever has) was removed from his duties. This hardly seems like the big solution, or the one thing preventing those in the sideshow to move to the center ring. (Or take it over, when you consider the owner of the sideshow is more concerned that you purchase a high rise condo in a nowhere neighborhood because there's "only 85 left!" and they're "priced to sell!")
Just watching failure makes anyone uncomfortable. It can be avoided: channel changed, eyes away or closed. It's selfish to say "I'm going to pay attention to the circus, maybe even go a few times, once it's good." But the center ring and the sideshow owe you nothing unless you have paid your own money to see the entertainment in person. Strange, isn't it, that I can find very little news about the sideshow. There's no travelling writer for the sideshow in the largest newspaper where this circus calls home. There is also no "blog" in this paper's website for the sideshow. As a matter of fact, the news of a stupendously unimpressive feat of strength in a barnstorming town received little fanfare. This newspaper printed an anonymous story from the Associated Press.
Whenever the weather gets colder (and we're told it will, eventually and for only a brief period) it is fair for this prognostication: the sideshow will remain a curio. It will be left to its own and ignored. Not out of shame, but indifference. Like that grocery store you visit because it's so odd, knowing full well they won't have what you need. I plan on giving sideshow reports from time to time. This will occur only so I shall remember that it exists at all.
November 15, 2008
November 14, 2008
“With The First Pick..."
In the 2008 Development League draft the Tulsa 66ers select: Chris Richard.”
Wow. Here's to a wonderful new "career."
Ouch. Didn't get into the first round the first time around, but he's #1 now.
Wow. Here's to a wonderful new "career."
Ouch. Didn't get into the first round the first time around, but he's #1 now.
November 8, 2008
Live Blogging Tonight's Wolves Game vs. Portland
1. The game begins.
2. The Wolves aren't losing by 20 at the half.
3. I'm very curious to see how the Wolves are going to balls this up.
4. Oh. There you go.
Two statements:
The list of Wolves players who can make a fucking shot is - Mike Miller and Mike Miller.
Kevin Love doesn't look like he's used to losing. Give it some time, Kev.
2. The Wolves aren't losing by 20 at the half.
3. I'm very curious to see how the Wolves are going to balls this up.
4. Oh. There you go.
Two statements:
The list of Wolves players who can make a fucking shot is - Mike Miller and Mike Miller.
Kevin Love doesn't look like he's used to losing. Give it some time, Kev.
November 6, 2008
All Alone, No One To Be With, Stepped Off The D Train At 205th
I'm going to need a little Slick Rick and a whole lot of Gentleman J-Bomb to get me through another season of this garbage. I have completely lost my love of the NBA as an institution, barely hanging on to a slight enjoyment of even PLAYING basketball at this point. THANKS GLEN! I think it's the incompetence that was building my dislike of the Association, like some festering sore, a blooming stink-plant. And then of course it was Deadzo's Big Decision that iced it, it was like cutting the power on a small town... I wandered out into the dark streets and realized it was all just a lie, all of this light. I looked to the skies and saw all I needed to get by. Gone was the illusion, here forevermore was The Truth. The simple facts that the NBA was being run by men barely competent enough to pee into a urinal, let alone guide a franchise towards any sort of sustained success. Simmons has the pizza analogy (the idea that running a successful NBA franchise is like making a frozen pizza, a fairly simple concept, and yet most GMs just can't wait for the pizza to be done, so they pull it out while it's still cold, or they pull it out and eat it right away, not letting it cool properly, and they burn their mouth. Despite everyone telling them to simply be patient, add the cheese at this time, take it out and set it to cool, then slice it, then serve it, they all inevitably rush into stupidness and ruin a simple procedure), but I'll go one better. Most NBA GMs could fuck up a glass of ice water with ice. Their shit would come out Kool Aid.
Anyway, that's pretty much what did it for me. To this day I have still heard no justification that would ever make me think that trading KG was not a horribly stupid move. I'm still open to that discussion. But my emotion runs strong... I have inner dialogue on it, and you will never understand what I say to myself when the lights are out. Everyone seems to have accepted it, some sort of twisted Minnesotan version of passive anger, watching another star leave amidst lies and dumbness, and we go to preseason games to cheer Corey Brewer because he's like, good enough to be the 8th man, or something. It's all just a joke anyway. Before I watch a Wolves game, I'm checking to see if the Wild are on. Yeah. That's goddamned pathetic, I know. But there you are.
Still though, even a child could come in with observations for this year, and that's what I aim to do, soldier:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Oklahoma Supersonics (we won't be referring to them by any other name this year) Are Dogshit Terrible, Like The Bobcats, But Unlike The Bobcats, They Have A Coach Who Is Both Good At Choking AND At Getting Choked
Does anyone see any hope for this wayward franchise? Are they trying to syphon thunder (ughhhhhhhhhhhhh) off of the Texas Triangle? Hey, Kevin Durant is a good scorer, except sometimes he goes 3-20, and that's when you think about stealing that franchise in the first place.
Improvement In The East, Except Not
Does adding AI put Detroit into the mix? Does Brand make the Sixers a contender? Do the Cavs have what it takes? Let me tell you something, when opposing teams go up against the Boston Celtics, they all seem to forget that the Celtics are run by a coach who puts on his shoes backwards in the morning. Yet somehow, every single team seems to play scared, and the Celtics run roughshod over all of them. Part of it is ghetto ball, and I of course give props to guys like Rondo for that, for he is a man who Knows No Set Plays. Which makes him perfect for Doc, because Doc can't call his voicemail, let alone a play. All of these developments in the East aren't going to matter until a team can go into the Fleet Bank Wachovia West America Bank Arena formerly known as The Garden and actually COMPETE with the Celtics. Until then, I see nothing in the way of a repeat.
Meanwhile In The West, Basketball Is Still Played Consistently Good
I'd be lying if I could tell you what to expect out of the West this year... the Spurs just had to go to double OT to take out the Lady Gophers, the Lakers look as tough as they ever had, and the Hornets came damn close to doing it last year. The Lesser Teams on the west coast have all gotten more ghetto, and the Rockets are supposedly all that. Then the Nugs go out and have themselves some, but they're still coached by Ronnie Roundbelly, so I wouldn't count on anything to develop there. Each team has a few flaws, but the level of play is pretty high, and there is quite a lot of proven talent out there. Which leads me to...
I Turned Down Free Timberwolves Tickets So I Could Go Home And Watch "Mannequin"
I look at this team, and honestly, I think they're worse than last year. At least last year, there were a bunch of hungry guys competing for playing time and a paycheck. So now they've jettisoned the extra pieces, and now everyone knows they're getting their touches, and there is NO REASON TO TRY AT ALL. The defense is a terrible joke, the kind that is told in mixed company, ends in a racial slur and uncomfortable silence. The coach is the worst coach in NBA history, just consult his record for confirmation of that. Sure, there's presence inside. But the draft was fucked up worse than a spilled cup of Maxwell House. And the wing players are only good at one element of the game, and deficient in all others. I'm not kidding about "Mannequin" either. It's got Andrew McCarthy in it. And I watched it rather than go to a Wolves game for free. And I was downtown at the time.
Stephon Marbury
I figure we should at least end this with a smile.
Anyway, that's pretty much what did it for me. To this day I have still heard no justification that would ever make me think that trading KG was not a horribly stupid move. I'm still open to that discussion. But my emotion runs strong... I have inner dialogue on it, and you will never understand what I say to myself when the lights are out. Everyone seems to have accepted it, some sort of twisted Minnesotan version of passive anger, watching another star leave amidst lies and dumbness, and we go to preseason games to cheer Corey Brewer because he's like, good enough to be the 8th man, or something. It's all just a joke anyway. Before I watch a Wolves game, I'm checking to see if the Wild are on. Yeah. That's goddamned pathetic, I know. But there you are.
Still though, even a child could come in with observations for this year, and that's what I aim to do, soldier:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Oklahoma Supersonics (we won't be referring to them by any other name this year) Are Dogshit Terrible, Like The Bobcats, But Unlike The Bobcats, They Have A Coach Who Is Both Good At Choking AND At Getting Choked
Does anyone see any hope for this wayward franchise? Are they trying to syphon thunder (ughhhhhhhhhhhhh) off of the Texas Triangle? Hey, Kevin Durant is a good scorer, except sometimes he goes 3-20, and that's when you think about stealing that franchise in the first place.
Improvement In The East, Except Not
Does adding AI put Detroit into the mix? Does Brand make the Sixers a contender? Do the Cavs have what it takes? Let me tell you something, when opposing teams go up against the Boston Celtics, they all seem to forget that the Celtics are run by a coach who puts on his shoes backwards in the morning. Yet somehow, every single team seems to play scared, and the Celtics run roughshod over all of them. Part of it is ghetto ball, and I of course give props to guys like Rondo for that, for he is a man who Knows No Set Plays. Which makes him perfect for Doc, because Doc can't call his voicemail, let alone a play. All of these developments in the East aren't going to matter until a team can go into the Fleet Bank Wachovia West America Bank Arena formerly known as The Garden and actually COMPETE with the Celtics. Until then, I see nothing in the way of a repeat.
Meanwhile In The West, Basketball Is Still Played Consistently Good
I'd be lying if I could tell you what to expect out of the West this year... the Spurs just had to go to double OT to take out the Lady Gophers, the Lakers look as tough as they ever had, and the Hornets came damn close to doing it last year. The Lesser Teams on the west coast have all gotten more ghetto, and the Rockets are supposedly all that. Then the Nugs go out and have themselves some, but they're still coached by Ronnie Roundbelly, so I wouldn't count on anything to develop there. Each team has a few flaws, but the level of play is pretty high, and there is quite a lot of proven talent out there. Which leads me to...
I Turned Down Free Timberwolves Tickets So I Could Go Home And Watch "Mannequin"
I look at this team, and honestly, I think they're worse than last year. At least last year, there were a bunch of hungry guys competing for playing time and a paycheck. So now they've jettisoned the extra pieces, and now everyone knows they're getting their touches, and there is NO REASON TO TRY AT ALL. The defense is a terrible joke, the kind that is told in mixed company, ends in a racial slur and uncomfortable silence. The coach is the worst coach in NBA history, just consult his record for confirmation of that. Sure, there's presence inside. But the draft was fucked up worse than a spilled cup of Maxwell House. And the wing players are only good at one element of the game, and deficient in all others. I'm not kidding about "Mannequin" either. It's got Andrew McCarthy in it. And I watched it rather than go to a Wolves game for free. And I was downtown at the time.
Stephon Marbury
I figure we should at least end this with a smile.
October 15, 2008
Eddy Curry = Fat.
At a time when the rolling laughter rumbling on about the New York Knickerbockers is at a recent low, Eddy Curry is still keeping the Isaiah Thomas Doctrine alive.
First off, you're so fat you straight up broke an exercise ball. You didn't deflate it quickly - you broke it. And secondly, how high can't you jump to get blocked by someone with a negative vertical and who's an AARP member? He's really looking like he'll "fit" into Mike D'Antoni's system - but not as well as jelly donuts "fit" in his face.
"One day after he busted an exercise ball in practice by sitting on it, Curry's lowlight last night was getting blocked on a driving dunk by Theo Ratliff."
First off, you're so fat you straight up broke an exercise ball. You didn't deflate it quickly - you broke it. And secondly, how high can't you jump to get blocked by someone with a negative vertical and who's an AARP member? He's really looking like he'll "fit" into Mike D'Antoni's system - but not as well as jelly donuts "fit" in his face.
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