I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that the Wolves couldn't beat one of the worst teams in the league while they were missing one of their best players. The fact that they blew a 25 point lead is painful enough, but this is also the second time in a week that they've blown a lead against Seattle without Ray Allen in the lineup. In checking to see how we ended the season matchup against the Sonics I also noticed that the Wolves had lost to Seattle earlier this season, that time without Rashard Lewis in the lineup. That got me thinking. I dug through all their losses this season and determined who, if anyone was injured or racked up a DNP against the Wolves. Obviously in the NBA, there are a ton of players who don't play, most of which are insignificant - Ronnie Brewer not playing may not crush the Spurs. So I went through and marked down players who have played a significant role for their teams this season, usually including the five starters and the sixth man, assuming he's a contributor.
Of their 41 losses this year, 21 of them were to teams that were missing a starter or a sixth man. 11 of the 21 losses were to teams who's winning percentage was below .500. 10 of the 21 losses were to teams that were missing one of their stars. Here's the list with the stars in bold.
Team, Player Not Playing, Winning %
Sacramento, Sharif Abdur-rahim, .429
LA Lakers, Kwame Brown, .535
LA Lakers, Lamar Odom, .535
Orlando, Grant Hill, .458
Cleveland, Larry Hughes, .597
New Orleans, Peja Stojakovic, .444
Houston, Yao Ming, .639
Milwaukee, Charlie Villenueva, .357
Toronto, Chris Bosh, .549
New Jersey, Nenad Krstic, .465
Atlanta, Tyronne Lue, .370
Atlanta, Joe Johnson, .370
Phoenix, Boris Diaw, .757
Utah, Matt Harpering, .662
Seattle, Rashard Lewis, .408
Seattle, Ray Allen, .408
Seattle, Ray Allen, .408
Washington, Antawn Jamison, .543
Charlotte, Sean May, .375
Boston, Wally Szczerbiak, .310
Miami, Dwayne Wade, .535
Obviously each player has a different effect on each game, but it seems like the Wolves go to sleep when their opponents best players are not in uniform - especially against teams that are already bad. I can understand a Cleveland beating the Wolves missing Hughes because of LeBron, or even Houston missing Yao, because of McGrady. But Atlanta without Joe Johnson? Toronto without Chris Bosh? SEATTLE WITHOUT RAY ALLEN/RASHARD LEWIS!? It's ludicris. And to do it over and over again! It's like losing to the Wolves without Kevin Garnett - it shouldn't happen. I realize it does, just as a 12 seed beats a 5 seed, but it's not something that should happen more often than not. Not unless you're Atlanta, or Charlotte, or Seattle, or Milwaukee, or Philly, or Boston....
Which brings me to my sad conclusion: The Wolves have scratched the surface on that status. They're scraping the bottom of the NBA barrell, but in such a way that they cannot benefit from their failure. Atleast Boston's record is so bad that they have a reasonable shot at the #1 pick, not to mention having a draft pick at all. Charlotte is barely a toddler when it comes to the age of the franchise - still have draft picks though, don't they? Atlanta is mired in a hellish ownership/front office situation - hey just like us! Oh. Wait. They have draft picks. We don't. Not to mention the lack of salary cap room, dedicated players, or managment. Our franchise player is getting up in years and yearns to be in the playoffs, to win a championship, and to go out a winner. It's not happening. Not any time soon anyways. He's getting frustrated. Now we're testing his loyalty, his desire to put up with a franchise that has given him no support on the floor and no sign that they care to deliver a winning product. Or, more accurately, hasn't shown the ability to make the right decisions to put together the parts of a winning product. Yes, KGs contract effects that to an extent, but not the way a bunch of bums with bad contracts do.
I'm preparing myself for a return to the dark hole this franchise was burried in until the arrival of The Kevins. I just hope Glen Taylor gets rid of the right one before we lose them both.
March 29, 2007
March 28, 2007
I Can't Invest Anymore, We're Talking Great Depression Here!
If I told you the Wolves scored 71 in the first half, had a lead as high as 25, shot 52.5% from the floor, and KG's line was 20-13-9, what would you guess the outcome of the game was? Oh, and it was against Seattle - without Ray Allen.
If you said they'd lose, you'd be right....
a 25 point lead? to SEATTLE!!!!????
I've taken the perverbial gun and put it in my mouth. C'mon guys, lose to Charlotte by 25!! I DARE you!!!
If you said they'd lose, you'd be right....
a 25 point lead? to SEATTLE!!!!????
I've taken the perverbial gun and put it in my mouth. C'mon guys, lose to Charlotte by 25!! I DARE you!!!
March 23, 2007
Gophers Take Over
After 114 days of sitting around waiting for Maturi to make a decision with regards to the mens basketball coach, he pulls Tubby Fucking Smith out of his ass. Yeah, as in Tubby "I coached at UK for 10 years" Smith. 263 wins in those 10 years. And he lands in The Barn. Un-fucking-believable.
With Amaker out the door at Michigan and Alford leaving Iowa, the Gophers chances of grabbing anything but leftover coaching scraps were grim. I mean, if you were a coach, where would you rather go? NOT Minnesota. Even so, we land Tubby.
He signed a 7-year deal worth about $1.7 million per year. The most the U has ever spent on a football or basketball coach. And yet, for the possible effect it should have on the basketball program, it's a steal. A God damned steal. The whole state is excited about it. They sold 103 season tickets in the hour following the announcement of the rumor. A fucking RUMOR! I think they sold a total of 253 more before the press conference today. I realize that doesn't seem like a big number, but the Gophs only had two games that the attendance was over 12,000 or something like that.
Maturi is apparently good buddies with Tubby's agent, which is how the talks apparently got started - back in December! I don't think Maturi is anything other than a lucky idiot - see Kevin McHale drafting Kevin Garnett - but I'm not complaining about him falling ass backwards into one of the premier names in college basketball coaching. They won't win alot early, but you damn well know that The Barn will be hopin' this year, which will immediately add 2 wins on its own - not to mention Tubby's coaching influence and some of the new kids coming into the program next year.
It's an amazingly exciting time for the Gophers basketball program - ala that pesky Final Four that seemed to have disappeard on us. Tubby, by the numbers, is as good a coach as there is in college basketball. He came across relatively humble and down to earth in the press conference, saying all the right things - what would you expect though. He seems to be focused, like head football coach Tim Brewster, on keeping local kids and graduating kids. He plans on working with the highschool coaches on trying to get kids from Minnesota to attend the U. Plus maybe steal some kids from neighboring states. He has no black marks on his resume - unless you consider only 1 national championship a black mark - and is well regarded in the coaching ranks.
Oh, and his first name is really Orlando. He apparently got his nickname Tubby from being a bathtub hog as a kid. And he has 16 siblings.
I even looked into season tickets today, but due to my general trend of failing at life, I'm not in a financial situation to do so, but if I was, I'd be sitting lower bowl in The Barn for twenty-plus nights for the next few years.
It's going to take a couple years for Tubby to get his system installed and get some real talent recruited again here in Minnesota, but I can't tell you how great this is for Gopher basketball, it's fans, the school, the city, the state, and everyone who gives a damn about Minnesota basketball.
Now, in Minnesota, it's no longer an insult to be called Tubby. I know I'll carry that title proudly from now on!
With Amaker out the door at Michigan and Alford leaving Iowa, the Gophers chances of grabbing anything but leftover coaching scraps were grim. I mean, if you were a coach, where would you rather go? NOT Minnesota. Even so, we land Tubby.
He signed a 7-year deal worth about $1.7 million per year. The most the U has ever spent on a football or basketball coach. And yet, for the possible effect it should have on the basketball program, it's a steal. A God damned steal. The whole state is excited about it. They sold 103 season tickets in the hour following the announcement of the rumor. A fucking RUMOR! I think they sold a total of 253 more before the press conference today. I realize that doesn't seem like a big number, but the Gophs only had two games that the attendance was over 12,000 or something like that.
Maturi is apparently good buddies with Tubby's agent, which is how the talks apparently got started - back in December! I don't think Maturi is anything other than a lucky idiot - see Kevin McHale drafting Kevin Garnett - but I'm not complaining about him falling ass backwards into one of the premier names in college basketball coaching. They won't win alot early, but you damn well know that The Barn will be hopin' this year, which will immediately add 2 wins on its own - not to mention Tubby's coaching influence and some of the new kids coming into the program next year.
It's an amazingly exciting time for the Gophers basketball program - ala that pesky Final Four that seemed to have disappeard on us. Tubby, by the numbers, is as good a coach as there is in college basketball. He came across relatively humble and down to earth in the press conference, saying all the right things - what would you expect though. He seems to be focused, like head football coach Tim Brewster, on keeping local kids and graduating kids. He plans on working with the highschool coaches on trying to get kids from Minnesota to attend the U. Plus maybe steal some kids from neighboring states. He has no black marks on his resume - unless you consider only 1 national championship a black mark - and is well regarded in the coaching ranks.
Oh, and his first name is really Orlando. He apparently got his nickname Tubby from being a bathtub hog as a kid. And he has 16 siblings.
I even looked into season tickets today, but due to my general trend of failing at life, I'm not in a financial situation to do so, but if I was, I'd be sitting lower bowl in The Barn for twenty-plus nights for the next few years.
It's going to take a couple years for Tubby to get his system installed and get some real talent recruited again here in Minnesota, but I can't tell you how great this is for Gopher basketball, it's fans, the school, the city, the state, and everyone who gives a damn about Minnesota basketball.
Now, in Minnesota, it's no longer an insult to be called Tubby. I know I'll carry that title proudly from now on!
February 27, 2007
So...what'chu got?
Hell, I don't know, we have a few weeks to go before they even announce who---
I'm thinking possibly 7 from the Big East. Take them and 5 from the ACC, you have the East bracket right there.
Well, sure, maybe. But we'll see after the--
How many will the Big Ten get? 4?
Shit.
As a college basketball fan, it's obvious knowing the big steak dinner comes in late March. We wait for it, if not that patiently...like a hefty man who devoured his potato skins with the arrogance of King Kong swatting airplanes, as if to say "Fine. You put cheese covered taters in front of me, I'm gonna eat them, but that's not why I'm here." Me? Well, I can't get into college basketball's pre-season...watching North Carolina play at home for the millionth time against Southern West Delaware doesn't do a thing for me. So, I wait as the games get better and more important. When there's more at stake, the more exciting it gets.
Did you say steak? Dude, what's Missouri Valley? How many wins do they have?
Time, my human rotunda. Sure, I'd like the tournament to start right fucking now, but that's not how it works. By this time next week we're pulling for Wright St. to sneak in. We're seeing Championship games being played in front of hundreds while arena workers scramble to turn off the lights in the upper deck. But then...then...when the brackets are there, and when Billy Packer gets angry about being irrelevant AGAIN...when Potsy has Oral Roberts in the Sweet 16...that is when the steak will be served. It will be tempting to devour this 64 oz. immediately, but it's best to take your time. Because, before you know it, it's April; you have no steak, and no desert. From there it's a long road to another meaningful college basketball game. You're talking 2008. That's a whole world from now, and who knows what the world holds for us. Larger dippin' sauce cups, perhaps?
Sweet - do they have Ranch?
Yes, they do. But give it time...the feast will be here soon enough.
I'm thinking possibly 7 from the Big East. Take them and 5 from the ACC, you have the East bracket right there.
Well, sure, maybe. But we'll see after the--
How many will the Big Ten get? 4?
Shit.
As a college basketball fan, it's obvious knowing the big steak dinner comes in late March. We wait for it, if not that patiently...like a hefty man who devoured his potato skins with the arrogance of King Kong swatting airplanes, as if to say "Fine. You put cheese covered taters in front of me, I'm gonna eat them, but that's not why I'm here." Me? Well, I can't get into college basketball's pre-season...watching North Carolina play at home for the millionth time against Southern West Delaware doesn't do a thing for me. So, I wait as the games get better and more important. When there's more at stake, the more exciting it gets.
Did you say steak? Dude, what's Missouri Valley? How many wins do they have?
Time, my human rotunda. Sure, I'd like the tournament to start right fucking now, but that's not how it works. By this time next week we're pulling for Wright St. to sneak in. We're seeing Championship games being played in front of hundreds while arena workers scramble to turn off the lights in the upper deck. But then...then...when the brackets are there, and when Billy Packer gets angry about being irrelevant AGAIN...when Potsy has Oral Roberts in the Sweet 16...that is when the steak will be served. It will be tempting to devour this 64 oz. immediately, but it's best to take your time. Because, before you know it, it's April; you have no steak, and no desert. From there it's a long road to another meaningful college basketball game. You're talking 2008. That's a whole world from now, and who knows what the world holds for us. Larger dippin' sauce cups, perhaps?
Sweet - do they have Ranch?
Yes, they do. But give it time...the feast will be here soon enough.
February 4, 2007
Plus When They're All Dead, I Can Cut That Jerry Juice And Get A Bald Head
Woah there horsey! What's all this? Posts from across the blue???? Well, I finally found a fairly reliable place to watch ESPN, and they saw fit to give me Bulls-Sonics. I have no idea when these games are being played. I type these posts on my laptop and then port them directly to email at the internet cafe, leaving me completely in the dark about the timeframe. Whatever. If this game happened two weeks ago, just bear with me. I'm a day ahead of you anyway...
Here's what I see with these two teams:
Bulls - Wow, these cats are good this year. Does Big Ben Wallace fit with them though? He looked pretty sulky coming off for halftime. Guys like Gordon and Duhon straight ghetto the game up, and Heinrich's got sick hands like Johnny Chan (OH POKER REFERENCE WHAT!!!!). The big boys know their place, but they seem soft in the middle, besides Big Benjamin. And we all know how he plays offense. Not at all. So they rely on Deng and PJ Brown... that's not going to do it. But otherwise, wow, they're ballers. Tyrus Thomas definitely shows potential. I'd look up their record, but of course, that would cost me another two dollars in internet time. Let's just say they are "good".
Oh, and who knew that PJ Brown was that old? And speaking of old, Ray Allen's boyish looks are starting to be creepy. For the most part, he's still Jesus Shuttlesworth, age 18. But then he bows his head and looks puzzled, like he didn't understand what Ben Gordon just said to him, and you realize he's over 30 and the legs might not carry him for much longer. Strange is all I'm saying.
Sonics - They aren't nearly as shite as I was expecting. Maybe it's the home crowd. Collison is a walking talking bastard of a ballplayer. Allen is entirely and completely comfortable in his game... he's a short KG, always knowing what he can do and always getting his numbers, even in a shooting slump. Ridnour is damn solid. I think the problem is their defense, in that it sucks big time. Chris Wilcox: WOW. He's somehow gotten more ghetto since I last checked in. Who knows what's in that duffel bag.
Earl Watson is not a very good basketball player. Sure, come on in here and give me the stats, but he just doesn't gel with this team, and I don't think he ever has. Ok, can you ever say you were scared of Earl Watson? Has he ever given a defender "fits"? From what I can tell, Earl has spent his career being a short, quick point guard who lacks passing skills, and jacks up ill-advised shots at a Troy-Hudson-like clip. What I don't understand is why Ridnour is riding the bench. You ask me, I'd point to that as their big mistake this year. Watson's got a rep, and lord knows we all got excited about the trade rumors last year (hey, it beats Anthony Fuck Carter), but I'm glad he's not on our team. He jacks up threes and he's an awful shooter. His defense isn't great. I think he sticks around with teams because of his scoring, but it's not everything it's cracked up to be. Just name me an Earl Watson team that others were scared of.
Wait a second, they just said Minnesota vs. Dallas on Saturday night, christ I hope that means this saturday. Which will actually mean Sunday here. Which is tomorrow. Oh man, if they're not lying to me, and this game isn't being presented in a time vortex, then I am a lucky man. I mean, even if not, I watched the sun set into the ocean tonight, so I guess luck is a relative thing.
Both of these teams have guys who can shoot, and I think they're both fairly consistent. Seattle has really evened out from two years ago when they missed 6 shots all season, and from last year when Ray played the season with a constant stream of the mellow yellow running down his leg. Bob Hill however, wow he's pathetic. Scott Skiles (who is looking an awful lot like a college wrestling coach these days) is at least a decent tactician. I think Bob Hill's job is to just look surprised at calls and misfortunes as much as possible.
The Sonics ride the home crowd to recover from a 10 point deficit, but they can't pull it together at the end, due in large part to some pretty horrible decisions by Earl Watson and Another Wilkens. Christ, is this Nique's second nephew? Anyway, for awhile Ridnour was raining down like Thom Yorke, but the Bulls held them off at the end. Tom Tolbert said "To close out games on the road, you need to do two things: defensive stops and make your free throws". Right. I think that applies to every team, home or away. As well as "score more points than the other team". They credited Bob Hill with a smart decision going with a smaller line-up, as if he had a choice. His small line-up meant taking Chris Wilcox out. I'm guessing that's a good decision no matter what. All right, I'm out for now. Like I said, any time I can watch an NBA game, I'm posting, even if they're showing games from last season. I don't care. I'll watch Junior Reed's coming out party against Atlanta again.
Here's what I see with these two teams:
Bulls - Wow, these cats are good this year. Does Big Ben Wallace fit with them though? He looked pretty sulky coming off for halftime. Guys like Gordon and Duhon straight ghetto the game up, and Heinrich's got sick hands like Johnny Chan (OH POKER REFERENCE WHAT!!!!). The big boys know their place, but they seem soft in the middle, besides Big Benjamin. And we all know how he plays offense. Not at all. So they rely on Deng and PJ Brown... that's not going to do it. But otherwise, wow, they're ballers. Tyrus Thomas definitely shows potential. I'd look up their record, but of course, that would cost me another two dollars in internet time. Let's just say they are "good".
Oh, and who knew that PJ Brown was that old? And speaking of old, Ray Allen's boyish looks are starting to be creepy. For the most part, he's still Jesus Shuttlesworth, age 18. But then he bows his head and looks puzzled, like he didn't understand what Ben Gordon just said to him, and you realize he's over 30 and the legs might not carry him for much longer. Strange is all I'm saying.
Sonics - They aren't nearly as shite as I was expecting. Maybe it's the home crowd. Collison is a walking talking bastard of a ballplayer. Allen is entirely and completely comfortable in his game... he's a short KG, always knowing what he can do and always getting his numbers, even in a shooting slump. Ridnour is damn solid. I think the problem is their defense, in that it sucks big time. Chris Wilcox: WOW. He's somehow gotten more ghetto since I last checked in. Who knows what's in that duffel bag.
Earl Watson is not a very good basketball player. Sure, come on in here and give me the stats, but he just doesn't gel with this team, and I don't think he ever has. Ok, can you ever say you were scared of Earl Watson? Has he ever given a defender "fits"? From what I can tell, Earl has spent his career being a short, quick point guard who lacks passing skills, and jacks up ill-advised shots at a Troy-Hudson-like clip. What I don't understand is why Ridnour is riding the bench. You ask me, I'd point to that as their big mistake this year. Watson's got a rep, and lord knows we all got excited about the trade rumors last year (hey, it beats Anthony Fuck Carter), but I'm glad he's not on our team. He jacks up threes and he's an awful shooter. His defense isn't great. I think he sticks around with teams because of his scoring, but it's not everything it's cracked up to be. Just name me an Earl Watson team that others were scared of.
Wait a second, they just said Minnesota vs. Dallas on Saturday night, christ I hope that means this saturday. Which will actually mean Sunday here. Which is tomorrow. Oh man, if they're not lying to me, and this game isn't being presented in a time vortex, then I am a lucky man. I mean, even if not, I watched the sun set into the ocean tonight, so I guess luck is a relative thing.
Both of these teams have guys who can shoot, and I think they're both fairly consistent. Seattle has really evened out from two years ago when they missed 6 shots all season, and from last year when Ray played the season with a constant stream of the mellow yellow running down his leg. Bob Hill however, wow he's pathetic. Scott Skiles (who is looking an awful lot like a college wrestling coach these days) is at least a decent tactician. I think Bob Hill's job is to just look surprised at calls and misfortunes as much as possible.
The Sonics ride the home crowd to recover from a 10 point deficit, but they can't pull it together at the end, due in large part to some pretty horrible decisions by Earl Watson and Another Wilkens. Christ, is this Nique's second nephew? Anyway, for awhile Ridnour was raining down like Thom Yorke, but the Bulls held them off at the end. Tom Tolbert said "To close out games on the road, you need to do two things: defensive stops and make your free throws". Right. I think that applies to every team, home or away. As well as "score more points than the other team". They credited Bob Hill with a smart decision going with a smaller line-up, as if he had a choice. His small line-up meant taking Chris Wilcox out. I'm guessing that's a good decision no matter what. All right, I'm out for now. Like I said, any time I can watch an NBA game, I'm posting, even if they're showing games from last season. I don't care. I'll watch Junior Reed's coming out party against Atlanta again.
February 2, 2007
Who Were Found Bound, Gagged, And Shot, But They Blast The Spot, Victims Took Off Like Astronauts
Lucy, I've got some 'splainin to do.
Tonight, as I sit here in a rented flat in Blenheim, New Zealand, I am watching my first NBA game since I left the Land of Guns in November. So, I apologize for that, I really do. Anyone who is still checking this blog - and I assume that is not one soul - has been grossly neglected. I offer only the excuse that I am 8000 miles away, in a land where there are 10 times as many sheep as people.
I'm watching the Jazz play the Spurs on ESPN, a game that probably happened a week ago and they don't tell me. They broadcast these games on Sky Sports, which is the New Zealand sports network. Basically, they jack the ESPN feed and edit out all the halftime and timeout banter, keeping only the game. So that means I get 15 minutes of action, then we go to commercial, I see an ad about snowboarding in Queenstown, and we're back... sometimes with a different score than we left. Whatever. I'm getting the fix, even though it's with two remarkably boring teams.
Ok, and I don't know if this is just this country, but they occaisionally run ESPN-sponsored commercials "explaining" american football. I can't even paraphrase this, but I'll try... they are saying things like "Unlike soccer, there are 15 minutes per period, and once the clock runs out, the game is over" and "Often, the team with a lead late in the game will try to run the football, which keeps the clock running. On the contrary, the team who trails will often pass the ball, and try to get out of bounds, extending the game." I'm honestly not making that up. Is that just here, or is ESPN running ads for invalids and fundamentalists who just happen to have a yearning for american football that has recently been awakened? What soul has ever tuned into ESPN and not known the rules for american football? Whatever... them explaining the sport just makes me think it's stupider.
Ok, so basketball then, or?
Here's what I'm thinking:
Jazz - what the fuck? Who are these guys? AK is having a shit game, but these other unshaven gravediggers are giving the Spurs all they can handle. What is this, 1991? Is Sean Elliot checking in soon? Anyway, Deron Williams is getting some big boys, and Mehmet Okur just jacks up threes when he feels like. I guess the ring gives him the nuts to do that. I don't know about this guy named Milsap, but he scores a lot and looks like he fits right in with the Jazz, which is to say he looks dumb and like I would never want to cheer for his success.
And Derek Fisher? WHEN DID THIS SHIT HAPPEN???? And he gets playing time? And they are kicking ass? Guys, guys, seriously. If the Wolves can't put something together and make the playoffs, I don't know what's going on anymore.
Spurs - What else is new? Tony Parker might be the most effective "first step" point guard of all time.... I'm sure someone will come in and shoot that down, but I went to the beach today, so I'm better than you. No, but he's a fierce son of a bitch, that's what. And then there's Timmy D, sporting an Ice Cube beard, with a bit of hate in the old eyes. Duncan is indescribable, one of the all time greats at his position, and so horribly consistent that it hurts to think about. All of this you already know. Which makes watching the Spurs like watching a lamb try to screw a dog. Sure, it's exciting, but you know what's going to happen, eventually.
Enough about this game though. It's giving me a headache. Hubie's helping, but not enough. Can't they pick a better color scheme in Salt Lake City? Christ, enough with the blue.
Now, when it comes to the Wolves, I honestly can't comment on anything. I haven't seen one minute of action, only been reading box scores and recaps. There was quite a sniff-up about AI, which of course didn't happen because Nice Things aren't allowed to happen to the Wolves. I honestly don't understand how they could've ever made a fair deal to Philly... what, were they throwing in Madsen? Anyway, it looks like Denver has turned the corner thanks to that trade, and rightfully so. I think the Wolves are finding quite a bit of talent in that young Foye character. He could be quite a gamer, from the stats I've seen and comments by Mr. Bliznewski. When in doubt, I rely on good NBA knowledge, and he definitely has it. Anyway, is there potential here? Is the team sufficiently ghetto enough to enjoy a run? I don't think so, but we still have Buckets (unless he's been traded in the week it took for this game to beam across the Pacific), so we still have the potential for an afro. Don't count them out yet.
March Madness is almost upon us, and Wisconsin... christ I can't even fake my way through it. You know I'll be drinking on St. Pat's day, but should I have a choice between swimming with dolphins and 12 hours of round-ball, I'm going to have to reach for my wetsuit.
They have basketball here, it's especially big in Auckland, being played in a fairly large stadium and attended by big audiences. I don't recognize any of the players, but they can ball pretty well. It's not really a dumping ground for NBA failures as much as a rec league by guys who are wickedly athletic but for some reason have been turned away by the rugby clubs.
Hubie just talked about power forwards in the western conference, and he threw out Duncan and KG, then said "and Carlos Boozer and Zach Randolph, who do it every year". Do what? Fail horribly at life and all of its trials? Cry while they sit on the toilet? Slip roofies into skanks' drinks?
Wow! Jerry Sloan raising his voice! This game's getting loud. Unfortuanetly, I am running out of patience for this, and I'm on a nearly empty battery. I can say though, before I blink out, that they still love their basketball in Utah, and it seems like this crowd is going to deliver a victory to the Boozer-less Jazz. Whatever, it's not like anyone's reading anyway.
I'll sign off for now, but honestly for anyone stumbling upon this blog, feel free to make comments or send me an email and I'll give you post access. I don't want this thing to die out, and I promise that for every game I am able to watch, a post is not far behind. And it will be undoubtedly as funny and riveting as this one.
In closing, they don't tip here, and at any bar that you see TVs, you can bet on sports through the bartender. And they only rake 8 percent. Take that, Stardust.
Oh.
Tonight, as I sit here in a rented flat in Blenheim, New Zealand, I am watching my first NBA game since I left the Land of Guns in November. So, I apologize for that, I really do. Anyone who is still checking this blog - and I assume that is not one soul - has been grossly neglected. I offer only the excuse that I am 8000 miles away, in a land where there are 10 times as many sheep as people.
I'm watching the Jazz play the Spurs on ESPN, a game that probably happened a week ago and they don't tell me. They broadcast these games on Sky Sports, which is the New Zealand sports network. Basically, they jack the ESPN feed and edit out all the halftime and timeout banter, keeping only the game. So that means I get 15 minutes of action, then we go to commercial, I see an ad about snowboarding in Queenstown, and we're back... sometimes with a different score than we left. Whatever. I'm getting the fix, even though it's with two remarkably boring teams.
Ok, and I don't know if this is just this country, but they occaisionally run ESPN-sponsored commercials "explaining" american football. I can't even paraphrase this, but I'll try... they are saying things like "Unlike soccer, there are 15 minutes per period, and once the clock runs out, the game is over" and "Often, the team with a lead late in the game will try to run the football, which keeps the clock running. On the contrary, the team who trails will often pass the ball, and try to get out of bounds, extending the game." I'm honestly not making that up. Is that just here, or is ESPN running ads for invalids and fundamentalists who just happen to have a yearning for american football that has recently been awakened? What soul has ever tuned into ESPN and not known the rules for american football? Whatever... them explaining the sport just makes me think it's stupider.
Ok, so basketball then, or?
Here's what I'm thinking:
Jazz - what the fuck? Who are these guys? AK is having a shit game, but these other unshaven gravediggers are giving the Spurs all they can handle. What is this, 1991? Is Sean Elliot checking in soon? Anyway, Deron Williams is getting some big boys, and Mehmet Okur just jacks up threes when he feels like. I guess the ring gives him the nuts to do that. I don't know about this guy named Milsap, but he scores a lot and looks like he fits right in with the Jazz, which is to say he looks dumb and like I would never want to cheer for his success.
And Derek Fisher? WHEN DID THIS SHIT HAPPEN???? And he gets playing time? And they are kicking ass? Guys, guys, seriously. If the Wolves can't put something together and make the playoffs, I don't know what's going on anymore.
Spurs - What else is new? Tony Parker might be the most effective "first step" point guard of all time.... I'm sure someone will come in and shoot that down, but I went to the beach today, so I'm better than you. No, but he's a fierce son of a bitch, that's what. And then there's Timmy D, sporting an Ice Cube beard, with a bit of hate in the old eyes. Duncan is indescribable, one of the all time greats at his position, and so horribly consistent that it hurts to think about. All of this you already know. Which makes watching the Spurs like watching a lamb try to screw a dog. Sure, it's exciting, but you know what's going to happen, eventually.
Enough about this game though. It's giving me a headache. Hubie's helping, but not enough. Can't they pick a better color scheme in Salt Lake City? Christ, enough with the blue.
Now, when it comes to the Wolves, I honestly can't comment on anything. I haven't seen one minute of action, only been reading box scores and recaps. There was quite a sniff-up about AI, which of course didn't happen because Nice Things aren't allowed to happen to the Wolves. I honestly don't understand how they could've ever made a fair deal to Philly... what, were they throwing in Madsen? Anyway, it looks like Denver has turned the corner thanks to that trade, and rightfully so. I think the Wolves are finding quite a bit of talent in that young Foye character. He could be quite a gamer, from the stats I've seen and comments by Mr. Bliznewski. When in doubt, I rely on good NBA knowledge, and he definitely has it. Anyway, is there potential here? Is the team sufficiently ghetto enough to enjoy a run? I don't think so, but we still have Buckets (unless he's been traded in the week it took for this game to beam across the Pacific), so we still have the potential for an afro. Don't count them out yet.
March Madness is almost upon us, and Wisconsin... christ I can't even fake my way through it. You know I'll be drinking on St. Pat's day, but should I have a choice between swimming with dolphins and 12 hours of round-ball, I'm going to have to reach for my wetsuit.
They have basketball here, it's especially big in Auckland, being played in a fairly large stadium and attended by big audiences. I don't recognize any of the players, but they can ball pretty well. It's not really a dumping ground for NBA failures as much as a rec league by guys who are wickedly athletic but for some reason have been turned away by the rugby clubs.
Hubie just talked about power forwards in the western conference, and he threw out Duncan and KG, then said "and Carlos Boozer and Zach Randolph, who do it every year". Do what? Fail horribly at life and all of its trials? Cry while they sit on the toilet? Slip roofies into skanks' drinks?
Wow! Jerry Sloan raising his voice! This game's getting loud. Unfortuanetly, I am running out of patience for this, and I'm on a nearly empty battery. I can say though, before I blink out, that they still love their basketball in Utah, and it seems like this crowd is going to deliver a victory to the Boozer-less Jazz. Whatever, it's not like anyone's reading anyway.
I'll sign off for now, but honestly for anyone stumbling upon this blog, feel free to make comments or send me an email and I'll give you post access. I don't want this thing to die out, and I promise that for every game I am able to watch, a post is not far behind. And it will be undoubtedly as funny and riveting as this one.
In closing, they don't tip here, and at any bar that you see TVs, you can bet on sports through the bartender. And they only rake 8 percent. Take that, Stardust.
Oh.
December 20, 2006
Wow
So, no Iverson, and the Wolves come out like THAT?
I just see a box score, and it's a horseshit box score.
I just see a box score, and it's a horseshit box score.
December 15, 2006
Another Possibility
To continue with my AI speculation and idea suggestions, here's another one.
Teams involved: Toronto, Philadelphia, Minnesota
The Deal: Minnsota gets Iverson and Ivan McFarlin. Philly gets Foye, Mike James, Morris Peterson, and Pape Sow. Toronto gets Ricky Davis.
The Raptors are said to be looking for a proven scorer at either the SG or SF spot, and Ricky Davis can score - 20ppg with Minnesota last year. Philly gets a couple expiring contracts, a star in the making, and a point guard who can atleast play in a bad system. James is the shortest and least painful of the contracts the Wolves have to get rid of and probably the most likely of those contracts that Philly would cave on. I don't really know why Toronto has fallen out of love with Mo Pete or if they're less in love with Ricky Davis, but it's a possibility.
Teams involved: Toronto, Philadelphia, Minnesota
The Deal: Minnsota gets Iverson and Ivan McFarlin. Philly gets Foye, Mike James, Morris Peterson, and Pape Sow. Toronto gets Ricky Davis.
The Raptors are said to be looking for a proven scorer at either the SG or SF spot, and Ricky Davis can score - 20ppg with Minnesota last year. Philly gets a couple expiring contracts, a star in the making, and a point guard who can atleast play in a bad system. James is the shortest and least painful of the contracts the Wolves have to get rid of and probably the most likely of those contracts that Philly would cave on. I don't really know why Toronto has fallen out of love with Mo Pete or if they're less in love with Ricky Davis, but it's a possibility.
December 14, 2006
To Continue My Rant...
I know, I said I was done, but that was only after three quarters. Again in the fourth, like the start of the third, Casey watched James and Davis continually screw up and did nothing to change the team on the floor. Foye had just finished up a fairly long stint in the game - and played fairly well - so he wasn't really an option when James was struggling. But where was Hudson? I never thought I'd say this - and this marks the second time this season I've said it - but I was begging for Troy to be on the floor instead of James. His defense was horrid and he did nothing but stagnate the offense. There needed to be a change in the game for the Wolves and Casey didn't do anything.
However...
James isn't soley responsible for how badly he played because the Spurs defense really keyed in on him and made it difficult to do much with the guys they had on the floor. His shot wasn't falling, he had a tough defensive assignment, and he looked utterly confused when it came to running the teams offense. If I were the coach and was watching my point guard having a tough time, I may not have pulled him, but I would've made a substitution to change his role on the floor - like bring in Troy Hudson at the point and move James off the ball. Turn him into a catch and shooter, an outside threat, and run your offense though KG in the post. Change something so that the Spurs have to adjust to what you're doing instead of beating your head against a sharp, brick wall. Or - hey - try bringing in some guys who can run the floor, bang around on the boards, and general give you a fresh spark of energy. Say, maybe, Justin Reed? Anything to make the Spurs shift out of what they're very clearly comfortable defending.
Now, I'm obviously very upset with the lack of good, consistant basketball that Casey claims his team is playing - they're not - but there were some good things in the game last night.
Defense - When this team is playing well on defense, they're very hard to score on. They seem to communicate well and are helping eachother out. Marko and Hassell are tough on the perimiter and Blount has proved he can actually play a little D when he's in the mood. Ricky comes in flashes and Randy Foye, while showing he's still a rookie, has been fairly dependable on the defensive end of the the floor
Mark Blount - When we traded for Blount I was excited because we got rid of Kandi and got a guy who atleast looked like he tried sometimes. Then, as I watched his game over the last half of last season, I realized he was soft and really liked to shoot too much. He was getting beaten to rebounds by the likes of Earl Boykins, Spudd Webb, and Mugsy Bogues. This year however, he's looking like he really cares about rebounding and defense. I heard some stat while watching the game that over the past 5 games he and KG are combining for 4 blocks a game, with KG at 2.2 and Mark at 1.8. That's a huge help to the perimiter guys defensively. He also had 19 points, 8 rebounds, and 2 steals last night. Watching him play yesterday, I've decided that, while I'd rather have a big banger, I'm comfortable with Blount as our starting center.
Craig Smith - It seems that every time I watch a Wolves game, I'm more and more impressed with this kids game. Yes, he's young and he's made a few mistakes, but when it comes to hustle and smarts, there's no question he's one of the better in those categories on the team. That and he's built like a brick wall. Whether it was Hoiberg or Chapman that clued McHale onto this kid, it's nice to see that the team can atleast get something out of a second round draft pick.
However...
James isn't soley responsible for how badly he played because the Spurs defense really keyed in on him and made it difficult to do much with the guys they had on the floor. His shot wasn't falling, he had a tough defensive assignment, and he looked utterly confused when it came to running the teams offense. If I were the coach and was watching my point guard having a tough time, I may not have pulled him, but I would've made a substitution to change his role on the floor - like bring in Troy Hudson at the point and move James off the ball. Turn him into a catch and shooter, an outside threat, and run your offense though KG in the post. Change something so that the Spurs have to adjust to what you're doing instead of beating your head against a sharp, brick wall. Or - hey - try bringing in some guys who can run the floor, bang around on the boards, and general give you a fresh spark of energy. Say, maybe, Justin Reed? Anything to make the Spurs shift out of what they're very clearly comfortable defending.
Now, I'm obviously very upset with the lack of good, consistant basketball that Casey claims his team is playing - they're not - but there were some good things in the game last night.
Defense - When this team is playing well on defense, they're very hard to score on. They seem to communicate well and are helping eachother out. Marko and Hassell are tough on the perimiter and Blount has proved he can actually play a little D when he's in the mood. Ricky comes in flashes and Randy Foye, while showing he's still a rookie, has been fairly dependable on the defensive end of the the floor
Mark Blount - When we traded for Blount I was excited because we got rid of Kandi and got a guy who atleast looked like he tried sometimes. Then, as I watched his game over the last half of last season, I realized he was soft and really liked to shoot too much. He was getting beaten to rebounds by the likes of Earl Boykins, Spudd Webb, and Mugsy Bogues. This year however, he's looking like he really cares about rebounding and defense. I heard some stat while watching the game that over the past 5 games he and KG are combining for 4 blocks a game, with KG at 2.2 and Mark at 1.8. That's a huge help to the perimiter guys defensively. He also had 19 points, 8 rebounds, and 2 steals last night. Watching him play yesterday, I've decided that, while I'd rather have a big banger, I'm comfortable with Blount as our starting center.
Craig Smith - It seems that every time I watch a Wolves game, I'm more and more impressed with this kids game. Yes, he's young and he's made a few mistakes, but when it comes to hustle and smarts, there's no question he's one of the better in those categories on the team. That and he's built like a brick wall. Whether it was Hoiberg or Chapman that clued McHale onto this kid, it's nice to see that the team can atleast get something out of a second round draft pick.
December 13, 2006
I'm So Mad, This Can't Wait...
Dwayne Casey needs to go. He just isn't a good coach. He cannot make any kind of adjustments or manage a basketball game at all. To start the third quater, Mike James was 0-3, 3 turnovers, 1 foul, and doing his best Sam Cassell-Bull fighter defense. And he's still in the game. Ricky Davis? 0-3, a turnover, and three bad passes. Still in the game. 8 points later, he calls a timeout and his team's once 9-point lead is 1. THEN he calls a timeout. Oh, but he pulled James OR Davis right? Nope. They're still in there fucking it up. Notice how, in the second quarter Popp made some adjustments and ended the quarter on a 10-2 run? Yeah, that's what GOOD coaches do: make adjustments. Casey can't. In his time here, he's never made a good one, or called a timeout when he should have, or pulled a guy out before he killed ALL of his confidence sucking it up.
He, Mike James, and Ricky Davis need to NOT be in Wolves uniforms. Then I might have some faith in this team, but they are just plain bad at basketball.
Rant, ended.
He, Mike James, and Ricky Davis need to NOT be in Wolves uniforms. Then I might have some faith in this team, but they are just plain bad at basketball.
Rant, ended.
December 12, 2006
ESPN's Trade Machine and Allen Iverson
There are few things that can eat up hours of my time like the trade machine on ESPN. I spend about half the time dreaming up completely rediculous trades that would never take place, even under the most amazing circumstances. I spend time dreaming up deals that would bring another superstar to Minnesota to play alongside KG, even if it doesn't make much sense for the other team. Of course then a deal comes around that makes me really take a good look at what could be done - in the "real world" - to obtain an available player. In this case it's Allen Iverson. Now, I realize that Jim Gray's words can no longer be trusted, but I don't believe for a minute that our owner's can either. I doubt that the guys running our organization have the brains or the balls to get a deal done to bring THE Answer to Minneapolis, but that doesn't stop me from hoping that a deal could be done - hey, blind squirrel's gotta find a nut sometime, right?
So here are a couple deals that may - or may not - be too complicated for teams to complete, but that might make sense.
Deal #1
Teams involved: Minnesota, Philadelphia, Houston
Philly wants to be rid of Iverson, we all know that.
Houston has its own coach-player drama rearing its head. Bonzi Wells and Jeff VanGundy have not kept their inability to get along a secret. Now, I know they're giving it "one more shot" but I think that's just a professional courtesy on both their parts. So, assuming that doesn't hold, the Rockets may be looking to get rid of Bonzi as well (pun intended. I'll understand if you stop reading now).
Minnesota has so many bad contracts, only the Knicks keep them from looking like the dumbest organization in the league. That said, there are a couple they could dump to grab some more start power at the very least.
The deal:
Allen Iverson goes to Minnesota. Randy Foye, Ricky Davis, Bonzi Wells, and Rafer Alston to Philly. Houston gets Mike James
Why it make sense:
Philly gets two contracts that are up in the next two years(Wells, Davis), plus a Philly familiar, soon-to-be-star(Foye). Not to mention the salary dump over the nex two seasons by losing Iverson.
Houston gets rid of a team-chemistry problem(Wells) and nabs the point guard they were after this past offseason(James) for less than they offered.
The Wolves get rid of two bad contracts(Davis, James) and grab a future Hall of Famer to play next to KG.
The Catch:
Who really wants Rafer Alston?
Deal #2
Teams Involved: Minnesota, Philadelphia, Detroit
Philly we understand: Rid themselves of Iverson
Detroit, while playing well, has some issues on their bench. They're a capable bunch, that's for sure, but they don't exactly have a ton of fire power offensively. Their backup point guard situation isn't much better, not to mention the pending free-agency of Chauncey Billups. They could use some help in both areas.
Minnesota wants AI.
The Deal:
AI to Minny, Foye, Davis, Antonio McDyess go to Philly, Mike James to Detroit.
Why it makes sense:
The Sixers, like in the previous deal, get young talent and a couple contracts that go away in the next two years.
Detroit solves a bench scoring issue with James who could spell both Rip and Chauncey. It may also provide some point guard security in the event that Billups gets too much money in free agency - only a short year away.
The Wolves, get what they did in the first deal: Iverson and rid of two contracts.
The Catch:
Detroit, while interested in Mike James, may not want to mess with the chemistry they have right now - specifically putting any doubt in the fact that Chauncey is their point guard.
Obviously I'm no GM and I'm favoring the Wolves a bit, but I think both those deals would make sense for all teams involved. Of course that's like saying Kevin McHale will try to put a winning product on the floor - which we all know is true. He does try, he's just not very good at it.
So here are a couple deals that may - or may not - be too complicated for teams to complete, but that might make sense.
Deal #1
Teams involved: Minnesota, Philadelphia, Houston
Philly wants to be rid of Iverson, we all know that.
Houston has its own coach-player drama rearing its head. Bonzi Wells and Jeff VanGundy have not kept their inability to get along a secret. Now, I know they're giving it "one more shot" but I think that's just a professional courtesy on both their parts. So, assuming that doesn't hold, the Rockets may be looking to get rid of Bonzi as well (pun intended. I'll understand if you stop reading now).
Minnesota has so many bad contracts, only the Knicks keep them from looking like the dumbest organization in the league. That said, there are a couple they could dump to grab some more start power at the very least.
The deal:
Allen Iverson goes to Minnesota. Randy Foye, Ricky Davis, Bonzi Wells, and Rafer Alston to Philly. Houston gets Mike James
Why it make sense:
Philly gets two contracts that are up in the next two years(Wells, Davis), plus a Philly familiar, soon-to-be-star(Foye). Not to mention the salary dump over the nex two seasons by losing Iverson.
Houston gets rid of a team-chemistry problem(Wells) and nabs the point guard they were after this past offseason(James) for less than they offered.
The Wolves get rid of two bad contracts(Davis, James) and grab a future Hall of Famer to play next to KG.
The Catch:
Who really wants Rafer Alston?
Deal #2
Teams Involved: Minnesota, Philadelphia, Detroit
Philly we understand: Rid themselves of Iverson
Detroit, while playing well, has some issues on their bench. They're a capable bunch, that's for sure, but they don't exactly have a ton of fire power offensively. Their backup point guard situation isn't much better, not to mention the pending free-agency of Chauncey Billups. They could use some help in both areas.
Minnesota wants AI.
The Deal:
AI to Minny, Foye, Davis, Antonio McDyess go to Philly, Mike James to Detroit.
Why it makes sense:
The Sixers, like in the previous deal, get young talent and a couple contracts that go away in the next two years.
Detroit solves a bench scoring issue with James who could spell both Rip and Chauncey. It may also provide some point guard security in the event that Billups gets too much money in free agency - only a short year away.
The Wolves, get what they did in the first deal: Iverson and rid of two contracts.
The Catch:
Detroit, while interested in Mike James, may not want to mess with the chemistry they have right now - specifically putting any doubt in the fact that Chauncey is their point guard.
Obviously I'm no GM and I'm favoring the Wolves a bit, but I think both those deals would make sense for all teams involved. Of course that's like saying Kevin McHale will try to put a winning product on the floor - which we all know is true. He does try, he's just not very good at it.
November 2, 2006
Wolves 92 Kings 83
Good game. Nice to be back at it. I'm glad the expectations aren't very high - for me atleast - because it makes watching this team a lot more fun. They played well in stretches and poorly in stretched - mostly when Mike James was on the floor, but I'll get to that in a minute. Defensively they looked very good and on offense you can still see it's a work in progress. I liked what I saw out of our boys last night and I hope they can play like that every night, even if it doesn't always result in a win. They'll be competitive if they do.
The Good
Troy Hudson - I was sort of shocked when he got into the game, like I had forgotten that he could even play. He looked a lot like the T-Hud that earned the contract that we're currently paying him. The offense flowed very well when he was in the game and, even though he forced some shots, he played under control.
KG and Hassell - They were quietly dominant. KG did his thing and Hassell was knocking down open jumpers all night.
Marko the SF - This is what I'm excited about the most after watching the game. I've always liked his game, his size, length, and quickness on defense. But he's not a PG. He was disruptive on defense and he helped get the ball up and down the court on offense. If he does what he did last night all season, he could be a candidate for most improved player.
Craig Smith - The kid takes up a TON of space on the floor. He's smart and he plays very hard, sometimes to his detriment - he fouled out. He's a much more skilled version of Mad Dog who, if he matures, could be a very productive player for the Wovles this season.
The Bad
Mike James - I'm going to cut him some slack because he's in a new system with new coaches and new players, but he looked lost last night. The offense was stagnant when he was in, and I'd be willing to bet 2/3 of their turnovers came while he was in the game. It really says something when you feel more comfortable with Troy Hudson in the game. I'm hoping he can pick it up quickly and contribute the way the Wolves envisioned he could when they signed him.
Mark Blount - He hasn't attained Kandi status yet because he atleast looks like he's playing hard, but he was terrible last night. Some of that was Casey's decision to let him shoot so much early, but he was consistanly being beaten to the glass by opposing guards and employing his standard bullfighter defense "OLE!"
The Funny
Mo Taylor - His sad little effort to goad KG into getting another technical showed me exactly why he's been such a failure in the NBA. That and I think he may have wet his pants after seeing Kevin glaring at him.
Kevin being Kevin - As he's leaving the court after his post game interview, he says to Lea B Thompson, "you look good girl."
The Good
Troy Hudson - I was sort of shocked when he got into the game, like I had forgotten that he could even play. He looked a lot like the T-Hud that earned the contract that we're currently paying him. The offense flowed very well when he was in the game and, even though he forced some shots, he played under control.
KG and Hassell - They were quietly dominant. KG did his thing and Hassell was knocking down open jumpers all night.
Marko the SF - This is what I'm excited about the most after watching the game. I've always liked his game, his size, length, and quickness on defense. But he's not a PG. He was disruptive on defense and he helped get the ball up and down the court on offense. If he does what he did last night all season, he could be a candidate for most improved player.
Craig Smith - The kid takes up a TON of space on the floor. He's smart and he plays very hard, sometimes to his detriment - he fouled out. He's a much more skilled version of Mad Dog who, if he matures, could be a very productive player for the Wovles this season.
The Bad
Mike James - I'm going to cut him some slack because he's in a new system with new coaches and new players, but he looked lost last night. The offense was stagnant when he was in, and I'd be willing to bet 2/3 of their turnovers came while he was in the game. It really says something when you feel more comfortable with Troy Hudson in the game. I'm hoping he can pick it up quickly and contribute the way the Wolves envisioned he could when they signed him.
Mark Blount - He hasn't attained Kandi status yet because he atleast looks like he's playing hard, but he was terrible last night. Some of that was Casey's decision to let him shoot so much early, but he was consistanly being beaten to the glass by opposing guards and employing his standard bullfighter defense "OLE!"
The Funny
Mo Taylor - His sad little effort to goad KG into getting another technical showed me exactly why he's been such a failure in the NBA. That and I think he may have wet his pants after seeing Kevin glaring at him.
Kevin being Kevin - As he's leaving the court after his post game interview, he says to Lea B Thompson, "you look good girl."
October 2, 2006
THE WOLVES JUST SIGNED...
I...
I can't.
I can't say anything. I can't do anything. This really happened. They really signed this guy. Really. No, really.
I can't.
I can't say anything. I can't do anything. This really happened. They really signed this guy. Really. No, really.
September 29, 2006
Do’s And Don’ts: A Wolves Season Preview
As the baseball playoff pictures shore up – Go Twins! – and the NFL season kicks off, the kids in the NBA begin to gather in preparation for the upcoming NBA season. This is an exciting time for every fan of every team. Dreams of vast improvement or repeating last years’ success dominate fan thought patterns. Everything is very positive for every team right now. Free agents and rookies reporting to camp, the vets coming back feeling refreshed and ready to battle for the next eight months. Expectations are riding high right now and it’s hard to keep them calm since we’ve been without the NBA for 3 months. I try my best to keep myself realistic, often edging more towards skepticism so as not to be disappointed when the Wolves don’t do what I expect them to do. So, here are some things I do and don’t expect to happen this season for my boys.
I do expect the Wolves to play better basketball.
They’ve gotten an infusion of new blood, have been improved in some areas, and will have a refreshed KG ready for another season
I don’t expect that play to be reflected much in their record.
Mike James and Randy Foye, while good players, will not be the save-all fix-all for this team this season. They need capable banger and someone who can help KG on the boards.
I do believe they’ll be in the hunt for a playoff spot deep into the season.
Much like last season, the West will be strong at the top, but tight through the middle and bottom. There’s a chance they could even be in the race into the last month of the season
I don’t believe they’ll make the playoffs.
They’re just not good enough. They don’t have anyone, besides KG, to play defense or rebound. They don’t have a lights-out shooter to keep defenses honest, and they don’t have a point guard that can run an offense effectively. They’ll be close, but they’re not there yet.
I do think Randy Foye will be a top contender for Rookie of the Year.
The kid has everything you want in a young guard: he can get to the basket, shoots the ball fairly well from the mid-range, plays with heart, and has very good character. He showed some flashes of brilliance in the summer league, earning MVP in the Vegas League.
I don’t believe he’ll win it.
He’ll put up strong numbers, he’ll contribute almost from the beginning, but in the end, the Wolves won’t be as improved as Portland, giving a lot of votes to Brandon Roy.
I do expect KG to come back strong this season.
He always does. He never enters a season without fire. KG always comes in enthusiastic, from the first day of camp. Last year is forgotten. For now.
I don’t expect him to be happy when the Wolves don’t achieve success.
When – I hope if, but – the Wolves start sliding, KG will get upset and will fade into that grimacing player he ended last season on. He’ll probably end up calling management out and making some suggestions
I don’t expect him to demand a trade or be traded.
He’s a class act and loyalty is one of his strengths. He may get frustrated, but in the end, he’ll be a Timberwolf at the end of this season
I do expect there will be changes made.
The Wolves have some excess baggage they could really get rid of, but I don’t know how much they’ll be able to dump. The continued lack of success will force McHale’s hand because if he continues to let it happen, the media won’t wait very long to lunge at his throat.
I don’t expect them to be as extensive as last season.
Part of the reason last year was such a debacle was because there was so much change that Casey didn’t know what his lineup would be day-to-day. Unless something comes by that the Wolves cannot turn down, expect the core players to be there all year
I do expect Dwayne Casey to be the head coach all season.
He’s young and he had a tough year last season but, as I said above, his lineup had no consistency due to the front office’s mangle-job. I think Glen will be a bit gun shy, firing two head coaches in three years.
I don’t expect him to avoid some heat.
He’s still young and he’s only in his second year in the first chair, so there will be some slack given, but not as much as last year. There won’t be the roster moves this year, so his effort will stand out more, for better or worse. Like I said, I don’t think their record will reflect the improvement, which means KG will not be happy. As people see KG getting unhappy, they too will get unhappy. The media in Minneapolis is nothing but negative, so they’ll be the first on the ‘Fire Casey’ bandwagon.
I expect almost nothing out of this team, as you may have realized. I hope Mike James is better than I think he is and I hope Randy Foye is half as good as I think he is. It’s still baseball season so I don’t need to talk myself off the ledge yet, but November isn’t that far away.
Here’s hoping this year is better than I expect it to be.
In the meantime, go Twins!
I do expect the Wolves to play better basketball.
They’ve gotten an infusion of new blood, have been improved in some areas, and will have a refreshed KG ready for another season
I don’t expect that play to be reflected much in their record.
Mike James and Randy Foye, while good players, will not be the save-all fix-all for this team this season. They need capable banger and someone who can help KG on the boards.
I do believe they’ll be in the hunt for a playoff spot deep into the season.
Much like last season, the West will be strong at the top, but tight through the middle and bottom. There’s a chance they could even be in the race into the last month of the season
I don’t believe they’ll make the playoffs.
They’re just not good enough. They don’t have anyone, besides KG, to play defense or rebound. They don’t have a lights-out shooter to keep defenses honest, and they don’t have a point guard that can run an offense effectively. They’ll be close, but they’re not there yet.
I do think Randy Foye will be a top contender for Rookie of the Year.
The kid has everything you want in a young guard: he can get to the basket, shoots the ball fairly well from the mid-range, plays with heart, and has very good character. He showed some flashes of brilliance in the summer league, earning MVP in the Vegas League.
I don’t believe he’ll win it.
He’ll put up strong numbers, he’ll contribute almost from the beginning, but in the end, the Wolves won’t be as improved as Portland, giving a lot of votes to Brandon Roy.
I do expect KG to come back strong this season.
He always does. He never enters a season without fire. KG always comes in enthusiastic, from the first day of camp. Last year is forgotten. For now.
I don’t expect him to be happy when the Wolves don’t achieve success.
When – I hope if, but – the Wolves start sliding, KG will get upset and will fade into that grimacing player he ended last season on. He’ll probably end up calling management out and making some suggestions
I don’t expect him to demand a trade or be traded.
He’s a class act and loyalty is one of his strengths. He may get frustrated, but in the end, he’ll be a Timberwolf at the end of this season
I do expect there will be changes made.
The Wolves have some excess baggage they could really get rid of, but I don’t know how much they’ll be able to dump. The continued lack of success will force McHale’s hand because if he continues to let it happen, the media won’t wait very long to lunge at his throat.
I don’t expect them to be as extensive as last season.
Part of the reason last year was such a debacle was because there was so much change that Casey didn’t know what his lineup would be day-to-day. Unless something comes by that the Wolves cannot turn down, expect the core players to be there all year
I do expect Dwayne Casey to be the head coach all season.
He’s young and he had a tough year last season but, as I said above, his lineup had no consistency due to the front office’s mangle-job. I think Glen will be a bit gun shy, firing two head coaches in three years.
I don’t expect him to avoid some heat.
He’s still young and he’s only in his second year in the first chair, so there will be some slack given, but not as much as last year. There won’t be the roster moves this year, so his effort will stand out more, for better or worse. Like I said, I don’t think their record will reflect the improvement, which means KG will not be happy. As people see KG getting unhappy, they too will get unhappy. The media in Minneapolis is nothing but negative, so they’ll be the first on the ‘Fire Casey’ bandwagon.
I expect almost nothing out of this team, as you may have realized. I hope Mike James is better than I think he is and I hope Randy Foye is half as good as I think he is. It’s still baseball season so I don’t need to talk myself off the ledge yet, but November isn’t that far away.
Here’s hoping this year is better than I expect it to be.
In the meantime, go Twins!
September 7, 2006
Hey, Did You Guys Hear...
The U.S. lost to Greece? Yeah, they lost, and the media still can't let it go. I mean, they lost. Hey radio jockeys, let it go already, Greece was exactly the team that could beat us and they did. Who cares!
For now...
For now...
August 17, 2006
Let My Bucket Swerrrrrrrrrrve, I'm Takin Off From The Curb
Say what you will about Steph, and lord knows my counterpart has said plenty (mostly things like "I heard he sits down to go pee!" and "He cried when he lost at Golden Tee!"), but this is pretty awesome.
The sneaker industry is like the diamond cartel DeBeers. There is no supply issue. There is no labor issue. The demand is simply CREATED. Nobody on earth needs sneakers. It's a unique marketplace in which the manufacturers drive up demand - through channels such as athletes and advertising - and then they basically challenge consumers. "How much are you willing to pay for these?" The answer is a lot. And it goes up every year. Stop and consider it: yes, Nike makes decent shoes. Most of the Nikes I've owned have been high quality kicks, most have not failed me in years of use. But do you honestly think there is 120 dollars worth of craftsmanship in those sneakers? No, they cost a few dollars to make and a few more dollars to ship. The cost is strictly a who-will-blink-first game of big dollars. And kids keep buying these shoes, because of the image and because they see their favorite stars rocking them on the court.
That brings it to Steph. Adidas could sell the KGs for 20 bucks. Nike could have sold the Jordans for 20 bucks. And they STILL WOULD HAVE MADE A PROFIT. But no, they had to be greedy, had to push the pricepoint, and kids shot each other for those fucking things. The point is that it's a good thing, endorsing these sneakers, and I hope that it catches on as a trend.
It won't. But I can hope, right? Just like I can hope that Buckets has a breakout year and that Marko learns how to pass sometime soon.
The sneaker industry is like the diamond cartel DeBeers. There is no supply issue. There is no labor issue. The demand is simply CREATED. Nobody on earth needs sneakers. It's a unique marketplace in which the manufacturers drive up demand - through channels such as athletes and advertising - and then they basically challenge consumers. "How much are you willing to pay for these?" The answer is a lot. And it goes up every year. Stop and consider it: yes, Nike makes decent shoes. Most of the Nikes I've owned have been high quality kicks, most have not failed me in years of use. But do you honestly think there is 120 dollars worth of craftsmanship in those sneakers? No, they cost a few dollars to make and a few more dollars to ship. The cost is strictly a who-will-blink-first game of big dollars. And kids keep buying these shoes, because of the image and because they see their favorite stars rocking them on the court.
That brings it to Steph. Adidas could sell the KGs for 20 bucks. Nike could have sold the Jordans for 20 bucks. And they STILL WOULD HAVE MADE A PROFIT. But no, they had to be greedy, had to push the pricepoint, and kids shot each other for those fucking things. The point is that it's a good thing, endorsing these sneakers, and I hope that it catches on as a trend.
It won't. But I can hope, right? Just like I can hope that Buckets has a breakout year and that Marko learns how to pass sometime soon.
August 16, 2006
This Is Gangsta Shit, It's All I Know, So When I Show Up, Open The Safe And Hit The Floor
What the hell?
"Former NBA player Lonny Baxter was arrested by uniformed Secret Service agents on Wednesday after shots were fired from a vehicle about two blocks from the White House. "
and
"Both Baxter, 27, and the vehicle's passenger, 35-year-old Irvin Martin, were charged with carrying a pistol without a license and other firearms charges. It wasn't immediately clear why they were allegedly firing the gun. "
Oh, I know why. Because George Bush does not like....
Jimmy, get him on the list.
"Former NBA player Lonny Baxter was arrested by uniformed Secret Service agents on Wednesday after shots were fired from a vehicle about two blocks from the White House. "
and
"Both Baxter, 27, and the vehicle's passenger, 35-year-old Irvin Martin, were charged with carrying a pistol without a license and other firearms charges. It wasn't immediately clear why they were allegedly firing the gun. "
Oh, I know why. Because George Bush does not like....
Jimmy, get him on the list.
August 4, 2006
The NBA Takes On A New Tazed
I sat down this summer with Kevin McHale and Isaiah Thomas and discussed the state of the NBA and USA basketball and decided that they just weren't exciting enough. Isaiah was still feeling the pain from all the money he lost on the CBA and was on the hunt for the next big money maker, and McHale was just looking for somewhere else to try his hand at failing. We decided to we wanted to put together an exhibition team to tour around the world, playing similar teams in parts of the world where basketball may not have reached yet. Well, as mentioned above, with USA Basketball in full swing, we were limited in the talent we could take with us, plus, we were having a hard time deciding how to select our team. Isaiah seemed to only want to take selfish, overpaid players, who never quite reached their potential, so they can "earn their f'ing paychecks." McHale on the otherhand could only say one name: Joe Smith. I tried to suggest some other players and ideas, but both were pretty stubborn - I actually had to slap McHale so he would shut up. By this point Isaiah is screaming obsenities in an attempt to convince us that Marbury and Francis could indeed play together. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and left them to senslessly babble at each other. As I was sitting on my throne, reading the daily paper, I came across a story and had a brilliant idea run through my head. I hurridly finished, wiping of course, and ran back to the table where Zeke and McHale were still repeating themselves at each other.
"Guys, I've got it!"
They both turned, and started repeating themselves at me. I slapped McHale and told Isaiah Anucha was behind him and he shut right up. "Guys, check this out. I think I know how to make you both happy - well, you Isaiah, Joe Smith won't figure in yet Kev." He almost started crying until I mentioned Kandi - no Kevin, not the food, the player! "Well guys, we all know that toughness is a huge part of being a good player, right? Okay, well what signifies toughness more than being able to take a taser?" They loved it! It solved all of our problems, heck it even allows the team to chose itself!
So, starting this summer we'll be waiting to see who will select themselves for the first ever All-Tased Team, made up of NBA players! So far we've got committments from Michael Olowokandi and, most recently, Dale Davis. We're holding interviews for head coaches, with Gloria James being the front runner right now. We're keeping our hopes up that Jerry Tarkanian or John Cheney may make themselves available as well, but we'll have to wait and see.
Here's our most likely candidates thus far!
Michael Olowokandi, C - right now he's penciled into the starting lineup after he "forgot his sweatshirt" in the club
Dale Davis, F - he's also penciled into start unless Rasheed Wallace gets ghetto this offseason, or next.
Eddie Griffin, F - He's really just a matter of time. We've been talking to him and, with all the porn watching/jerking off/car crashing, we're just waiting for him to sign the contract
Isiah Rider, G - He might be a long shot due to "previous commitments" but we're hoping he can make parole in time - that's based on the good assumption that he'll be in jail. Here's hoping he resists arrest enough to get tased!
Darrell Armstrong, G - He almost made our squad at the first tryouts but fell just short. We're confident he'll have a better showing next time around.
I also received an email from Gib H. in Green Bay, asking what would happen if there weren't enough NBA players available to complete the team. In that case we're going to look into some other sports - namely the NFL or college football - to see if maybe we can fill out the team. Of course we don't see this as being a problem because we're on a 2-player-per-season pace right now, so we figure we'll have the team put together by 2011, just in time to help warm up the world for the 2012 Olympics!
We're happy to be presenting this idea to you all and, with some luck, we'll be seeing you across the globe!!
"Guys, I've got it!"
They both turned, and started repeating themselves at me. I slapped McHale and told Isaiah Anucha was behind him and he shut right up. "Guys, check this out. I think I know how to make you both happy - well, you Isaiah, Joe Smith won't figure in yet Kev." He almost started crying until I mentioned Kandi - no Kevin, not the food, the player! "Well guys, we all know that toughness is a huge part of being a good player, right? Okay, well what signifies toughness more than being able to take a taser?" They loved it! It solved all of our problems, heck it even allows the team to chose itself!
So, starting this summer we'll be waiting to see who will select themselves for the first ever All-Tased Team, made up of NBA players! So far we've got committments from Michael Olowokandi and, most recently, Dale Davis. We're holding interviews for head coaches, with Gloria James being the front runner right now. We're keeping our hopes up that Jerry Tarkanian or John Cheney may make themselves available as well, but we'll have to wait and see.
Here's our most likely candidates thus far!
Michael Olowokandi, C - right now he's penciled into the starting lineup after he "forgot his sweatshirt" in the club
Dale Davis, F - he's also penciled into start unless Rasheed Wallace gets ghetto this offseason, or next.
Eddie Griffin, F - He's really just a matter of time. We've been talking to him and, with all the porn watching/jerking off/car crashing, we're just waiting for him to sign the contract
Isiah Rider, G - He might be a long shot due to "previous commitments" but we're hoping he can make parole in time - that's based on the good assumption that he'll be in jail. Here's hoping he resists arrest enough to get tased!
Darrell Armstrong, G - He almost made our squad at the first tryouts but fell just short. We're confident he'll have a better showing next time around.
I also received an email from Gib H. in Green Bay, asking what would happen if there weren't enough NBA players available to complete the team. In that case we're going to look into some other sports - namely the NFL or college football - to see if maybe we can fill out the team. Of course we don't see this as being a problem because we're on a 2-player-per-season pace right now, so we figure we'll have the team put together by 2011, just in time to help warm up the world for the 2012 Olympics!
We're happy to be presenting this idea to you all and, with some luck, we'll be seeing you across the globe!!
August 3, 2006
Junior Reed Is Back...
The Wolves signed the 6-8 forward to a multi year deal, details undisclosed, but it means he'll be gettin' ghetto in blue again this season. I know it's hard to believe that he gets ghetto - just look at that smile, he's so happy - but he does, and he does it Wu Tang style. He'll sneak up behind you, stick the shiv in, then alley-oop dunk on your head. Or he'll slice your achilles, jump over you, and slap your lay-up attempt into the fourth row. That's the thing about Little Junior Reed; He doesn't give a fuck about jail. Not one. I mean, would you want to spend any time in a cell with him? Fuck that, I know I wouldn't
He was a great hustle and energy guy for us last year, and he is a hell of an athelete. He was decent defensively, and he showed improvement on the offensive side. Hopefully he can come in and back up the 3 and 4 with some quality minutes.
It's so far away, but I still can't let it rest. I need this team, like I need a bag of China White
August 2, 2006
Why Broken Rappers Suck At Basketball
This summer it has been reported that Troy Hudson refused to workout infront of Timberwolves officials because he apparently doesn't trust them. He feels he's been rushed in the past. Really Troy? I think your agent put it best.
"When he goes to work for them, they push him to do more than he feels he's ready to do"
Hmm, so you don't want to workout because you're still broken and can't run or cut? You don't want us to know that? Hmm.
"I don't think Troy's unhappy being a Timberwolf; he just wants to be healthy and not pushed to do things he doesn't want to do"
Well frankly, there's a ton of shit I don't want to do, but I have to. Just because you're touring with your rap posse, doesn't mean you can skip out on workouts. Just because you don't want to? Troy, that's why you're still broken. That's why you haven't played basketball in two years - well, three if you only count the 2002 playoffs as playing.
Troy, you're broken, worn out, busted up goods, that should be retired and sent away. I know you don't feel like you're done, but you are.
Face the music Troy, you should just shut 'em down.
"When he goes to work for them, they push him to do more than he feels he's ready to do"
Hmm, so you don't want to workout because you're still broken and can't run or cut? You don't want us to know that? Hmm.
"I don't think Troy's unhappy being a Timberwolf; he just wants to be healthy and not pushed to do things he doesn't want to do"
Well frankly, there's a ton of shit I don't want to do, but I have to. Just because you're touring with your rap posse, doesn't mean you can skip out on workouts. Just because you don't want to? Troy, that's why you're still broken. That's why you haven't played basketball in two years - well, three if you only count the 2002 playoffs as playing.
Troy, you're broken, worn out, busted up goods, that should be retired and sent away. I know you don't feel like you're done, but you are.
Face the music Troy, you should just shut 'em down.
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