December 6, 2005

No Way You'll Never Make It, Come With That Weak Shit, I Break Kids, Step Into My Zone Mad Rhymes Will Stifle Ya

Gang Starr came along in the early-mid 90s, took an underground New York style, smashed it up with a gangsta persona, and unleashed it on the world. Guru and Premier are probably two of the most underrated hip hop performers in history. And yes, you can still say that, even though there are probably 23 million "underrated hip hop performers" out there. EPMD anyone? Anyway, Gang Starr kept coming with the heat consistently until they dropped Moment Of Truth, which cold knocked the rest of hip hop out the box. The year was 1998, and Mos Def's Black Star Movement was gaining steam, along with a slew of other NY underground groups and rappers. But - at least for me - Moment of Truth stood out among the crowd. The album opens with "You Know My Steez", which is a hallmark Premier beat, laced with the monotone Guru style. And the whole album flows like that (there are some dropoffs, Royalty being the most pronounced, but still). The tracks The Militia, New York Strait Talk, Betrayal (oh my god, Scarface, oh my god), Work, and B.I. vs Friendship cold knock you the fuck out. Man, M.O.P., what happened? I bought their album Warriorz... not good. Not what I would describe as "good" at all. Back to the point though, Gang Starr can be a threat, in New York they rep. That's where they come from, that's why we're feeling it, so why suppress it? They'd rather be revealing it.

Shit Harpring, you come with that weak shit, Eddie's going to break you.

I had to actually stand up last night and scream "Git some KID!" for the first time of the season. That felt good. Felt like old times, like we were out in the Guerilla Lounge, hiding from life and ensconsing ourselves in Timberwolves. Brats sizzled and rolled, Old Dutch chips were stacked like cordwood on the couch, and the Premos just never stopped. Ah, spring. Anyway, I haven't been as enthusiastic during Wolves games this year, for a few reasons. One is that it doesn't make much sense to stand up and scream when I'm the only one in the room, because then you might as well put on a Vikings jersey and see if they have any Pig's Eye left at the corner liquor store. And more importantly, I have been tentative about this Wolves team, at least in-game, because I like to watch what they're doing and analyze how Casey has taught them and how they relate to each other. This has resulted in me watching Wolves games in an almost zen-like state. I become one with the cathode ray tube, and I can feel the players' colors and energy. Can you blame me? Two seasons ago I was a raving lunatic, screaming until I could no longer speak out front of the TC after we sent the Nuggets away in game 5. I nearly had a hemmorage when Webber missed the 3 in game 7, and I drank two bottles of champagne that night with my attorney by my side. Then came the Lakers series, and I FUCKING WENT ALL THE WAY TO LOS ANGELES JUST TO BE THERE FOR GAME 6!!!* Of course, last season was the complete opposite. I was a pessimist from about game 15 on. I didn't like the way they played, KG was hurt, and I kind of wanted Sam and Spree to go to a club, only this time, instead of getting in a fight out front, I was pulling for them to be shot in the face, Shyne-style.

Well, now, wait. That's just mean. I'm sorry.

But still, I watched those games like a corpse (INSERT JOKE ABOUT MCHALE HERE), and when Flip was fired, that sealed it... the season was over. I never questioned myself as a Timberwolves fan for completely abandoning the team. I knew I would be back. I just needed some time off, and mostly, I needed to forget about the players that made me hate the team. They did a great job of getting rid of two of them, but they kept two others (and if you don't know that the two others are Troy and Kandi, you aren't paying attention, soldier), so that made me wary. I obviously still enjoy watching the Wolves, that will never fade, but I just wanted to feel them out and not commit to anything this early in the season.

But last night, man, Eddie was movin' boxes.

How can you not stand up and be counted when Eddie's getting some bunnies with the bedonka-bump INYOURFACE bitch WHAT!!!! blocks all night? 8 blocks?!?!?! That was sick. Last night Eddie looked like what Kandi should be. An absolute monster in the paint, biding his time on offense, and just plain making all the white Utah boys look sad when they came in the lane. Did you see him against Harpring? Oh my. Someone get that poor boy a dump truck, because for the next 10,000 years, he's going to be shoveling shit and eating it because he's on re-feed. Granted, I can see why Harpring would be scared of Eddie, seeing as how Eddie's, you know, SHOT AT PEOPLE before... but still. I think Matty's shorts might have been wet, and if you can't figure that comment out, I mean to say he WENT POTTY IN HIS PANTS!!!!

So yeah, there's no shortage of love from Wolves nation on last night's win. And like the article in the Star Trib said... who cares who they are beating? Who cares if the Jazz are hurt and the Lakers are a joke and Portland might as well not even play with a basketball anymore? The point is the wins, and how much fun the team is having, and how much fun the fans are having. Even in losses, I've felt good about this team, and that's saying something. Is it saying I'm a fair-weather fan? Perhaps. But it also might be saying something like "We all aim for the big picture, but to me it don't mean shit if my dogs ain't wit cha"

Friends. Business. Friends. Business. Friends. Business...

*I was in L.A. for game 6, but it had absolutely nothing to do with the Wolves. I actually spent that Memorial Day listening to the game on the radio (with those L.A. announcers, hey guys, do you like the Lakers at all? Is every foul against Kobe "a joke"? You guys like the chili better when it's cooked at home, hmmm, hmmm?), because the Sportsman's Lounge wasn't open on the holiday. Good thing too. From the sound of it, Kareem Rush had some paint chips for breakfast that day.

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