December 8, 2005

I Got Cosmophonic - Press A Button, Change My Face. You Recognize, So What? I Turn Invisible, Make Myself Clear, Reappear To You Visual

Kool Keith is a unique motherfucker.

I can't possibly do his career justice in such a small place, but needless to say, his varying styles and personas mixed with his jester-like attitude towards each and every project he has done has positioned him as pretty much the only of his kind. Over his career, Keith has appeared as: Dr. Octagon, Dr. Dooom, The Analog Brothers, Ultramagnetic MCs and of course, Black Elvis (and many more). Personally, I love the idea that a rapper can just change personas on a whim, like "I'm sick of Dr. Octagon... I'm going to invent a character that kills him." Some would compare it to 2pac becoming Makaveli, but it was much less serious than that. Keith didn't give a fuck... there are rumors he spent time in a mental institution, and I'm inclined to believe them. How else can he come up with songs like Half Shark-Alligator, Half Man? Anyway, for my money, it's all about Dr. Octagon. Earth People is swanky funky stank, and Real Raw is... well, really raw. On one hand, I'm surprised Kool Keith has never achieved major label success, but then instantly, I'm reminded of the chorus to Sex Style. It's so bad, it can't even be printed here. At any rate...

"I'm strictly monster with turtlenecks like Frankenstein,
Drop that mic kid, you're lost, now that ass is mine."

KG n The Gang opened it up last night and let the ghetto flow, unleashing a furious 4th quarter on the Blazers and making Nate McMillan look fat.


Like Dave already stated below, the game was a total clusterfuck, punctuated by Zach Randolph NOT EVEN WALKING DOWN THE COURT in the last 30 seconds. Did you see that? He just stood under the Wolves basket after free throws. Portland went down on offense and played 4 on 5. Now, listen up. The game is over, everyone knows it. The Failblazers were down by 10 points or whatever, so no need to even try anymore. I understand. But you've got to run down the floor. Or at least jog. This is the kind of shit that tore me up last year about the Wolves. Those times in late blowout wins, when KG was still giving everything he had (because, surprise surprise, he LIKES playing basketball) and dumbass Kandi was moping around, taking his time passing the ball in after another defensive breakdown. It's things like that that turn a fan-base off of a team. Again, I don't mean to blow this thing out of proportion: obviously Zach was tired and the game was over... ok, no big deal. But come on. You have to at least jog. Can you do that? You are getting paid almost 20 million dollars a year. Think you could jog?

It's indicative of a larger problem: the Failblazers really just aren't giving a consistent effort. There is potential there, but Nate's got to get them going hard every night, otherwise they're never going to improve. Look at Martell Webster... he had a great game and looks to be quite the baller, but if he plays on this team longer than a year, he's in trouble. Zach Randolph is very talented, but no one has ever said that he gives his best effort every time on the court. Combine that with D Miles, a guy who's had everything handed to him and has never given a consistent effort, and you've got a trouble situation. Not as bad as it once was, of course, but still bad. Hopefully McMillan can get these guys to give their best, but it's not looking good. I don't know if I've ever seen a 4th quarter collapse quite like that one. I mean, the Wolves weren't even doing extraordinary things.... the Blazers just plain stopped trying. It was quite amazing.

"Take that sleep with NoDoz, that common style is cheap". Indeed.

Now then, this road trip was quite the litmus test for the season, and obviously, the Wolves passed with flying colors. But let me ask you this - last year and two years ago, if the Wolves won games like this (playing awful for 3 quarters then turning it on in the end), people would be clamoring to put them down and make sure they realize that "Playoff Teams" can't do that. Why is it different this year? And I'm not even talking about the media, I'm talking about individuals. Why do I feel so different? For example, last night in the 4th, when the Wolves were down by 10, here were my exact thoughts:

"Awww, it's ok. They just didn't have it tonight, and the Blazers made shots when they had to. Kandi sucks and Troy's out, Wally wasn't quite good enough, and nobody figured Przbilly was going to pop his top like a cop. It's all good. Still went 3-1 on the road trip, and we can't win every game..."

That's seriously what I thought. And I was resigned to the loss, but it wasn't a crushing feeling. It was calm, under control. Then, even after the comeback, I was thinking:

"Wow, the Blazers fucking suck. I mean, there's suck, then there's suck-suck, then there's Kandi, then there's Deadzo, then there's the Blazers, and THEN there's the Raptors. But still... right before the Raptors; Blazers."

Last year would've been completely different. I would've been so upset that they let the Blazers hang around that long, I would have worried that Sam and Spree were getting used to taking 3 quarters off, giving effort in the 4th, and coming away with a win (which was true). This year, man, it's all good. I wouldn't have felt bad at all about losing to the Blazers. I mean, they're not good, but the Wolves aren't championship-material either. When you're one of the pack, and you play another one of the pack, sometimes you eat the Bear and sometimes the Bear eats you.

So yeah, the win was nice, and these last 4 games have been fun to watch. Got a big one coming up this weekend against the Fakers. Man, that would be nice to go up 3-0 on the Kobes. It would totally erase the conference finals. "Yeah, you may have gone to the finals, but who's up 3-0, batch-o's!?!?!?!?!? Raise up, Mihm! You have insulted my honor!"

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