December 5, 2005

Money-hungry Honies Around, The Killer Streets And The Law, The Opium In The Raw, That's What I Live For

Shyne came along and done fucked the whole rap game up.

If you never heard him, you never caught gangsta at its darkest. Pac and Biggie paved the way for Shyne, by mapping out the way to street lyrics and grimy beats, and he followed in such a way as to somehow make him MORE ghetto than those who came before him. He samples a D.O.C. song for "That's Gangsta", and kicks it Jamaican in "Bad Boyz". It was a self-fulfilling lifestyle though, and Shyne left us with only one full album and a string of unreleased material currently available on many of the P2P networks.

But what he did was hardcore. It may have looked like a formulated act, but I believe he was truly ghetto - maybe not as ghetto as his lyrics - but look at his court case. He's currently doing 10 years in Clinton for shooting someone in the face at a club. So, you know, that's kind of... what's the word? Gangsta.

(wait for it....)

(the connection to the wolves is coming...)

Kevin Garnett is more gangsta.

Last night was a real pleasure to watch. Here are a few things I noticed about the game.

1. Michael Olowokandi is awful. Hey, have you read that here before? Yeah, so even when he scores 13, he is still awful. His offense literally makes me queasy. Every time he touches the ball, it's wrong. Yes, his defense has at least been more consistent this year, but as far as him, as a player.... please trade him. Please please please. Wait, I'm asking a corpse for a favor. Let's move on.

2. Don't cheer for Troy Hudson, you're only encouraging him. Troy was getting sick last night, and it had nothing to do with the 12 species of bugs living in his hair. What I like about Troy is how he goes to the basket in equal proportion to his "heat check" 3s he loves launching. Defensively, he was at least able to keep up with Bibby. I think that's more of a comment about Bibby though. Did you see that game? Wow, Sacramento isn't even trying anymore. Peja is god awful. Brad Miller looks like he's trying, and Corliss Willaimson is still putting food on the table (Hogs up!) but the rest are just terrible. Bibby looks like he is about to cry most of the time, and Rick Adelman still needs to get a personality. Anyway, back to Troy... yes it was a good game. But let's not encourage him. Tonight, I'm predicting 12 3-point attempts, with 1 going in. Have some, kid, or something.

3. Rashad McCants makes me nervous. At halftime, there was a segment where the resident sideline female reporter went to Rashad's apartment in Minneapolis and did a little "MTV Cribs" thing. So there's two other dudes who live with Rashad... one of them "is in charge of the food" and the other "is in charge of the video games". He has a very small apartment, but still manages to fit a pool table in the dining room. On the surface, he looks very much like a classic NBA rookie, spending his first paychecks on electronics and basically just hanging out and trying to learn basketball. But there's something else there. There is a general uneasiness that follows him around. I'm not one to judge on little things like "Rashad was held out of the game because he missed a bus to the arena". I mean, it's just a bus, he's not a criminal. But man, there's something about him.... I could see him going Rider with a Pepsi can, if you know what I mean. Cloned cell phones, hell, that's the easiest money you'll make. I hope I'm wrong, but the tats aren't saving any grace here.

4. Kevin Garnett realizes the dope game is infectious, and that it's got him living reckless. Feds get uptight when they see his watch and necklace. You see, every day I wake up is another day that KG is watching over me, filling me with pride and a warm glowing warming glow. He's just marvelous. He started the game going something like 1-132, but it didn't matter. Was I worried? Were you? I remember distinctly thinking "Well, he's not hitting, but that's ok". See, that's the definition of a true superstar. It's like when Jordan wasn't hitting, you just thought "He's going to have to pick it up defensively and on the boards". And he always did. KG couldn't hit shit last night, but he was so active on defense and within the flow of the offense, it didn't matter. That's what makes him great, that ability to do different things depending on what he's feeling. If Paul Pierce isn't hitting shots, he doesn't have another mode to go to. He just keeps shooting until he's on again. Same with Ray Allen. And Michael Redd. And those guys are definitely superstars, but they have off nights. KG never has an off night. He brings it all the time, and when he can't hit shots, he does other shit. 4 assists and two steals, bitch who!

5. I didn't realize Shareef plays for Sacramento, and that's funny. Man, he's just.... I can't describe his NBA career. Has anyone had less success at life than Shareef? He always gets his, but man, his teams are just terrible. Something is happening here. Trade him to the Spurs, we need to test this out.

6. The Wolves are fun to watch... christ I needed to type that. Yep, it's official. No matter what, they're fun to watch. They only scored 85 points, but the effort was there and there was no "Sam-complaining-to-the-official-after-he-dribbles-another-one-off-his-leg" last night, and there certainly was no "Spree-not-listening-to-flip-or-KG-during-timeouts-then-going-in-the-game-and-
and-bumped-his-head-sustaining-brain-damage" either. That was nice. Jaric tries. So does Dupree. The coach breathes air. I like watching them.

I like what I see, and I wasn't expecting much this season, so it's a very nice surprise. This can of Camo is for you, guys.

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