We're going to make it after all!

We're moving up in the world!

Now, instead of a can of wax beans ("You know, I've been buying the generic brand and pulling the labels off.... you can't hardly tell the difference"), you have to purchase a BAG of coffee and a BOTTLE of juice in order to obtain tickets to Timberwolves games.

Pretty soon, you'll only be able to get them for money!

NBA Draft, Huh?

Immediate Impressions

I know I'm not the only one who feels like the draft was fixed this year. No, it's not because the Wolves didn't get the first pick - they were lucky to only move down one pick in the draft. And frankly, I'm happy they didn't get the first pick

So Cleveland, less than one year removed from losing the only athelete to ever don a Cavs jersey - sorry Daughtery and Ehlo - and they end up with the first pick in the draft? Oh, and to top it off, it was the Clippers pick that did it. 2.8% chance. You guys gonna take Penny, errrrr?

Not sold yet?

So instead of showing up himself, Dan Gilbert sends his 14-year old child who, sadly, has a neurological disorder that causes tumors to grow wherever and whenever in his body? And the kid steals the show?

Hmmm.

I can't really get any further into it because it makes me so mad. I cannot express how happy I am for Cleveland and their fans - and Nick Gilbert - but this "turn of events" that David Stern is in the middle of orchestrating is so blatantly obvious that I can't sit back and just watch any more. It's too picture "perfect" for me.

Celtics and Knicks are relevant again huh? Hmm. $20 says Chris Paul ends un a Knick and Dwight Howard ends up in LA - their team is sliding a little bit now too. Oh, and not on the Clippers either, even with their luck of "winning" the lottery - nice work lottery-protecting that pick, dumbasses.

The Wolves of Woe

Did you happen to see the sports page of the Star Tribune the day the draft lottery was decided?

No? Here it is:

It's the second greatest Wolves-related sports page I've ever seen. It shows us everything we need to know about the Wolves and their draft history, excluding KG. The only way it's better is if they could've worked in a pop can full of smoked schwag and Laettner wearing a Charlie Sheen shirt. Or have Cheorkee Parks and Brian Davis high-fiving over Ndudi Ebi in the background.

So the real question that arises now, and needs to be answered before June 23, is what the hell should the Wolves do with their two pick: #2 and #20.

Let me tell you that, most of the options I came up with make me want to punch myself in the face.


#2 Pick. Trade down and take Jimmer Fredette.

I know, I want to punch both him and me in the face as hard as I can, but it makes too much sense.

The biggest question for this next season is 'Will Rubio Come?'...no, to the Wolves I mean. If he does, we have a log jam at point guard and no shooters for him to pass to. If he doesn't, we could really use a third poing guard and, oh yeah, we still don't have any shooters - sorry Wayne, you just don't cut it. Fredette covers both scenarios for us. He's a pure shooter who really knows how to do one thing really well: Git Buckets. But in a much less only-me way than Ricardo Davis III. Plus, in a pinch, he could eat up some minutes at PG, ala Freddy Hoiberg 2004 Western Conference Finals. As much as it pains me to say it, the kid can play, and can shoot and score better than anyone else in college basketball. I know, J.J. Redick and Adam Morrison could do those things, but nothing about Jimmer says J.J. Morrison. For one, he didn't cry on the court after they lost - and then made a commercial about it. Oh, and yeah Adam, people more people did cry. They're called the Charlotte Bobcats and they cried because they drafted you. But I digress...

If they don't take Jimmer - fucking stupid name anyway - then I'd look at Michael Thompson's kid, Klay Thompson. He's a solid baller and he can shoot lights out. He's also 6'6" and apparently impressed the scouts at the combine - as much as that means.

#20 Pick - trade it down (Drew, I'm sorry in advance about this one)

And take another guy who needs five knuckles to the face. Kyle Singler. We already have two small forwards, but I'm not taking any bets on Martell Webster staying healthy for the year - Michael Williams, anyone? Singler is a very smart forward who played at Duke and, for the most part, those guys tend to stick around the league - especially when they drop in the draft.. Remember a year ago? This kid was a top-10 pick - and this is supposedly a down year for the draft. I just don't want us taking Blasikov Macgolicovickuoisludla just because he's 18 and lit it up in the Egyptian pro league in their 14-game season. Singler played a lot of games in a tough conference, under a very good - and face-punchable - coach. He'll be second round pick so, if he can't take a fist to the lips, you don't have to keep him - he's guarenteed to be better than the former Gopher KG face-punched, right?

It must not be the Rapture - the Wolves didn't get the first pick. I'm just saying.