January 18, 2006

I Breaks Em Off, I Breaks Em Off - Cheap, Deadly As Jason On Friday The Thirteenth...

So when Chief Snacks goes out of town for a few days, apparently the Wolves decide to EAT SUGAR AND HAVE THEMSELVES SOME TREATS, SON!!!

Again, we take every game as just a game, no more and no less. And if you used one game to judge their opponents, it would look like this:

New York Knicks - Failures
Denver Nuggets - Failures

So, yeah. Tonight is a dip against the Celtics, and then life gets incredibly difficult. Check this out: Indiana, Philly, Detroit, Memphis, Houston, San Antonio. All bookended by the pathetic Green Machine. How sad they have become. Hey, you think they want to give up Double P? He can't be worth much, right? Kandi is going to fit in great.

When rumors like "Mark Blount (from now on to be spelled 'Blunt') for Michael Olowokandi" get tossed out there, the headlines should really read "Which GM is dumber?" Because honestly, trades like these are just admissions to stupidity. Deadzo would be admitting to failing with Kandi (the failing of Kandi combined with the failing of Deadzo would make even the 97 Bulls fail), and Ainge would be admitting to failing with Blunt. So there are no winners. If Deadzo makes any moves, he admits to failing... by trading Sam away he put himself without a great 2nd/3rd scoring option. If he makes a move to get another one, he will be admitting he was wrong to trade him. That's the rub on NBA GMs. They don't think 3 or 4 moves ahead. "HEY! We need a point guard RIGHT NOW!!! What about that young girl who plays for the Lakers? Tyronn Lue!!! Yeah, that's it! Sign her NOW!!!" Deadzo is different though, because he underreacts until it's too late. Remember how long Anthony Motherfucking Peeler was on this team? How about Joe Smith? And he STARTED. Remember Will Avery, or Felipe Lopez? Those guys hung around WAYYYYYYY longer than they have with any other team. That's Deadzo's Wolves for you. Whereas most teams identify their core and bring in bit players every year to fill in gaps, Deadzo sticks with his entire team to the bitter end. I'm not saying that's bad. But I am saying that we know he's not going to make any moves, so we're stuck with this team. Last season the Hornets practically killed someone to get rid of Baron Davis and his contract. Deadzo could have had him for Spree or some other insignificant piece. Instead, he fired the coach. That was the stupidest thing I've seen out of Wolves basketball, and I watched them draft Christian "This is my special friend" Laettner. If the team is going to improve, Deadzo either needs to become a better GM, or trade with someone who is not as smart as him.

Luckily, this is the NBA, and a guy like Deadzo, who by all accounts would be fired from his job if he worked ANYWHERE ELSE, can still be middle of the pack when it comes to GMs. For every Deadzo who would trade Wally for a pickup player at the Y, there's an Elgin Baylor - who sits on his hands so much you'd think he had discovered a new method of self-manipulation.... wait. I'm treading into sex-talk here. Let's just end on this: for the Wolves to make any sort of upgrade this season, they are going to have to make a major trade, which probably means Wally, and definitely Kandi or Eddie. I have no idea what's out there right now, so I can't comment on that. But knowing that - that it's going to take a GM who has a sack and is willing to make a move even if it means taking a huge chance - we shouldn't hold our breath. Deadzo will probably just do what he always does around this time of year:


(Awwwwwwwww, that's not nice!)

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