November 1, 2005

Shootout at the Doody Ranch

So Deadzo cut Ndudi Ebi, leaving him free to acquire Ronald Dupree, who was cast to the depths by Flip Saunders. Deadzo and Flip are supposedly still friends, but when they met on the court before their first preseason meeting, they both told reporters that they hadn't spoken to each other since Flip was fired last year. Hmmm, Deadzo, I don't think he likes you anymore. And with good reason. You sold him out because Spree wouldn't pass the ball and Sam's dick was broke.

Anyway, whenever the topic of Ebi comes up, a certain boss of mine (who shall remain nameless, and trust me, I have somewhere between 5-10 bosses) always brings up Josh Howard. Because, in case you didn't know, the Dallas Mavericks came through with the ABSOLUTE STEAL OF THE DRAFT, BITCH, WHAT, WHO IS DOING THE FUCKING NOW, BEST TEAM IN TEXAS, NUGGA!!!!!!!!! when they drafted Josh Howard at #29, 3 spots after Ebi.

But just like being a fan of a team that is 2-4 yet somehow only 1.5 games out of first place, you've got to have perspective.

The Wolves got 2 years out of Ebi, and though they never got meaningful production, at least they didn't sink their entire hopes and dreams into him either. He never took up a roster spot when it couldn't be used on someone else, he seemed to work really hard and keep his mouth shut, and presumably, he didn't get any altercations outside of any gentlemen's clubs (Toronto, up!). Plus, when he debuted the goggles, the team got just a little clownier.

Comparing Ebi to Josh Howard? Yeah, ok, but like Swoopes, you have to go both ways. Let's look at the guys who were drafted BEFORE Doody:

Zoran Planinic - New Jersey #22 - The only reason this guy got playing time was because Jason Kidd's knee hurt after he injured it kicking the everloving shit out of his... never mind. That's just cruel anyway. Hasn't the man suffered enough? Anyway, back to Zory, would you really want a guy who looked like this on your team? Well, if you were Stan Kroenke, maybe.

David West - New Orleans/Oklahoma City Refugee Camp #18 - Yeah, he gets PT, but he plays for the Hornets. I mean, whatever bitch. It would only be a matter of time before KG Romanowski'd this guy's eye socket if he played here, so I'm glad we didn't trade up. Or something.

Zarko Cabarkapa - Phoenix #17 - I'm not sure this man is even still alive.

TJ Ford - Milwaukee #8 - Hey, I'm not trying to be mean. But you saw the draft reports same as I did. If Milwaukee chooses to ignore the "Prone to leap like a freak into the air and go ass-over-teakettle on Mark Madsen after which Madsen will stand over him and go all 'bitch, who?' which will lead him to break his fucking spine" label, they make their own bed. We all saw it coming.

Darko! - Goddamned NBA Champs #2 - You know what? There's nothing to say here. Yes, it was a horrible pick, and Darko sucks total ass. You know what else? He's got more rings than Carmelo and LeBron. So I need to shut up.

So, in summary, the drafts are always a crapshoot, and hindsight is always 20-20 (unless you're Andrew Bogut, and those records are sealed, Rick). It's very easy to go back in time and say we should have drafted Josh Howard. It's also easy to go back in time and say we should have taken Rip Hamilton, Shawn Marion or Ron Artest instead of Wally. I'll be sad to see Doody go, because there was always the potential there, but potential doesn't feed kids (at least, not my kids), and Dupree can shoot the snack with the best of them.


1 comment:

Dave Snizewski said...

Yeah, Darko, I would say 'don't get me started' but I've already started, so sit down and open your ears for a second. They always talk about potential, especially with Darko. "Oh, he just needs to get some playing time" or "He needs more practice" or "He's foriegn, he's not good at life." It's always something, something standing in the way of his assumed ascention to the top of the NBA - shit, like you said, he's already got the raftors covered. Of course, now that Larry is out of Detroit, there talking again about Darko's potential. Flip has said on a number of times that he's going to be working with Darko, getting him into games, etc.

Riiiight. Hey Flip, how'd Ndi develop under your tutledge? Oh right, he got waived. Detroit fans, expect the same - or rather, don't expect Darko to get much more playing time under Flip than under Larry. I know, I know, Flip played KG and KG turned into God. But that's KG being KG, and we al know Darko ain't no KG. Now Darko won't get cut, so he's a leg up on Dooders. He'll either be let go at the end of his rook contract or traded away. I mean, how do you expect him to get playing time behind 'Sheed, Big Ben, McDyess, Dale Davis, and Tayshaun? There's just no room at the 3, 4, or 5. It sucks because I'm sure, if given the chance, he could be a decent player in the league for many years, what with that whole 'being 7 feet tall' thing. What he should be doing is playing in the NDBL. I know, he'd probably cry and swear in foreign-ese, but he'd get to prove that he indeed can play basketball.

Unfortunately Flip will do to him what he did to Ndi and what Larry did to Darko before, and it's not out of spite. It's because there are that many better players on the bench already. Sorry Darko, you and Ndi can hang out once your careers are washed out, you'll have lots in common.