November 30, 2005

Fuck A Gat, I Got My Bat, and Flak's Got My Back....

If there was one thing in the world I could do right now, it would be to crack Michael Olowokandi over the head, Louisville Slugger style.

I hate him. I wish there was a way he could be not on our team. Fire him, let him go, shit, I'll pay his damn salary. That's how bad he is. He's had two good weeks this year, and they weren't really that good. Yet, everyone is all "oh man, Kandi is gonna get his this season!" Maybe, but who cares. Remember when he was hunting for a contract back with the Clips? He had a great season, good enough to fool us into signing his dumb ass. Another reason why Deadzo is so fucking stupid. Kev, man, you were one of the great post players in NBA history. You couldn't see this guy sucked? Wow, you really are dead, aren't you?

Sorry, back to Kandi. Did you see him last night? DID YOU!?

In 24 minutes he amassed a whopping 5 points and 6 rebounds in 24 minutes. Now, that doesn't seem to bad, right? Elton Brand scored 19 points, mostly while Kandi was guarding him. Awful. I know E is a hell of a player, but at 7 feet, you should be able to slow him down, no matter how stupid you are. Apparently I was wrong. Corey Maggette had 10 rebounds. What the fuck!? I realize it isn't Kandi's responsibility to box him out, but shit, when their Small Forward has more rebounds than our center, there's clearly something devistatingly wrong with our team. Also, with no assists, no blocks, and no steals, Kandi provided nothing to our team. Oh. Wait. He did have 2 turnovers and 2 fouls. Thanks Mike. Thanks a lot.

There was another big man that played 24 minutes last night as well. Eddie Griffin. In the same amount of time as Kandi, Griff managed 9 points, 14 rebound, and a block. All this was accomplished without committing a turnover and only 1 foul.

Kandi sucks. All who are smart know this. I, as many, were really excited about the potential of this man, but clearly everyone who scouted this waste was wrong - except those who chose to pass on him of course.

KFAN says what?

I hate these guys who call in and try to get Kandi's back. What are you doing? Trying to give him confidence? Stop it, cuz it's probably working. The last thing we need is someone telling Mike to shoot more, cuz jesus, he's awful outside 1 foot. He's a terrible player, a waste of money and a roster spot, and let's all pray we can dump him on someone before the season is out.

The second thing I'd do, would be to track down all the idiot rubes who think Kandi is good and beat them too!

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