Wow

So, no Iverson, and the Wolves come out like THAT?

I just see a box score, and it's a horseshit box score.

Another Possibility

To continue with my AI speculation and idea suggestions, here's another one.

Teams involved: Toronto, Philadelphia, Minnesota

The Deal: Minnsota gets Iverson and Ivan McFarlin. Philly gets Foye, Mike James, Morris Peterson, and Pape Sow. Toronto gets Ricky Davis.

The Raptors are said to be looking for a proven scorer at either the SG or SF spot, and Ricky Davis can score - 20ppg with Minnesota last year. Philly gets a couple expiring contracts, a star in the making, and a point guard who can atleast play in a bad system. James is the shortest and least painful of the contracts the Wolves have to get rid of and probably the most likely of those contracts that Philly would cave on. I don't really know why Toronto has fallen out of love with Mo Pete or if they're less in love with Ricky Davis, but it's a possibility.

To Continue My Rant...

I know, I said I was done, but that was only after three quarters. Again in the fourth, like the start of the third, Casey watched James and Davis continually screw up and did nothing to change the team on the floor. Foye had just finished up a fairly long stint in the game - and played fairly well - so he wasn't really an option when James was struggling. But where was Hudson? I never thought I'd say this - and this marks the second time this season I've said it - but I was begging for Troy to be on the floor instead of James. His defense was horrid and he did nothing but stagnate the offense. There needed to be a change in the game for the Wolves and Casey didn't do anything.

However...

James isn't soley responsible for how badly he played because the Spurs defense really keyed in on him and made it difficult to do much with the guys they had on the floor. His shot wasn't falling, he had a tough defensive assignment, and he looked utterly confused when it came to running the teams offense. If I were the coach and was watching my point guard having a tough time, I may not have pulled him, but I would've made a substitution to change his role on the floor - like bring in Troy Hudson at the point and move James off the ball. Turn him into a catch and shooter, an outside threat, and run your offense though KG in the post. Change something so that the Spurs have to adjust to what you're doing instead of beating your head against a sharp, brick wall. Or - hey - try bringing in some guys who can run the floor, bang around on the boards, and general give you a fresh spark of energy. Say, maybe, Justin Reed? Anything to make the Spurs shift out of what they're very clearly comfortable defending.

Now, I'm obviously very upset with the lack of good, consistant basketball that Casey claims his team is playing - they're not - but there were some good things in the game last night.

Defense - When this team is playing well on defense, they're very hard to score on. They seem to communicate well and are helping eachother out. Marko and Hassell are tough on the perimiter and Blount has proved he can actually play a little D when he's in the mood. Ricky comes in flashes and Randy Foye, while showing he's still a rookie, has been fairly dependable on the defensive end of the the floor

Mark Blount - When we traded for Blount I was excited because we got rid of Kandi and got a guy who atleast looked like he tried sometimes. Then, as I watched his game over the last half of last season, I realized he was soft and really liked to shoot too much. He was getting beaten to rebounds by the likes of Earl Boykins, Spudd Webb, and Mugsy Bogues. This year however, he's looking like he really cares about rebounding and defense. I heard some stat while watching the game that over the past 5 games he and KG are combining for 4 blocks a game, with KG at 2.2 and Mark at 1.8. That's a huge help to the perimiter guys defensively. He also had 19 points, 8 rebounds, and 2 steals last night. Watching him play yesterday, I've decided that, while I'd rather have a big banger, I'm comfortable with Blount as our starting center.

Craig Smith - It seems that every time I watch a Wolves game, I'm more and more impressed with this kids game. Yes, he's young and he's made a few mistakes, but when it comes to hustle and smarts, there's no question he's one of the better in those categories on the team. That and he's built like a brick wall. Whether it was Hoiberg or Chapman that clued McHale onto this kid, it's nice to see that the team can atleast get something out of a second round draft pick.

I'm So Mad, This Can't Wait...

Dwayne Casey needs to go. He just isn't a good coach. He cannot make any kind of adjustments or manage a basketball game at all. To start the third quater, Mike James was 0-3, 3 turnovers, 1 foul, and doing his best Sam Cassell-Bull fighter defense. And he's still in the game. Ricky Davis? 0-3, a turnover, and three bad passes. Still in the game. 8 points later, he calls a timeout and his team's once 9-point lead is 1. THEN he calls a timeout. Oh, but he pulled James OR Davis right? Nope. They're still in there fucking it up. Notice how, in the second quarter Popp made some adjustments and ended the quarter on a 10-2 run? Yeah, that's what GOOD coaches do: make adjustments. Casey can't. In his time here, he's never made a good one, or called a timeout when he should have, or pulled a guy out before he killed ALL of his confidence sucking it up.

He, Mike James, and Ricky Davis need to NOT be in Wolves uniforms. Then I might have some faith in this team, but they are just plain bad at basketball.


Rant, ended.

ESPN's Trade Machine and Allen Iverson

There are few things that can eat up hours of my time like the trade machine on ESPN. I spend about half the time dreaming up completely rediculous trades that would never take place, even under the most amazing circumstances. I spend time dreaming up deals that would bring another superstar to Minnesota to play alongside KG, even if it doesn't make much sense for the other team. Of course then a deal comes around that makes me really take a good look at what could be done - in the "real world" - to obtain an available player. In this case it's Allen Iverson. Now, I realize that Jim Gray's words can no longer be trusted, but I don't believe for a minute that our owner's can either. I doubt that the guys running our organization have the brains or the balls to get a deal done to bring THE Answer to Minneapolis, but that doesn't stop me from hoping that a deal could be done - hey, blind squirrel's gotta find a nut sometime, right?

So here are a couple deals that may - or may not - be too complicated for teams to complete, but that might make sense.

Deal #1

Teams involved: Minnesota, Philadelphia, Houston

Philly wants to be rid of Iverson, we all know that.

Houston has its own coach-player drama rearing its head. Bonzi Wells and Jeff VanGundy have not kept their inability to get along a secret. Now, I know they're giving it "one more shot" but I think that's just a professional courtesy on both their parts. So, assuming that doesn't hold, the Rockets may be looking to get rid of Bonzi as well (pun intended. I'll understand if you stop reading now).

Minnesota has so many bad contracts, only the Knicks keep them from looking like the dumbest organization in the league. That said, there are a couple they could dump to grab some more start power at the very least.

The deal:

Allen Iverson goes to Minnesota. Randy Foye, Ricky Davis, Bonzi Wells, and Rafer Alston to Philly. Houston gets Mike James

Why it make sense:

Philly gets two contracts that are up in the next two years(Wells, Davis), plus a Philly familiar, soon-to-be-star(Foye). Not to mention the salary dump over the nex two seasons by losing Iverson.

Houston gets rid of a team-chemistry problem(Wells) and nabs the point guard they were after this past offseason(James) for less than they offered.

The Wolves get rid of two bad contracts(Davis, James) and grab a future Hall of Famer to play next to KG.

The Catch:

Who really wants Rafer Alston?

Deal #2

Teams Involved: Minnesota, Philadelphia, Detroit

Philly we understand: Rid themselves of Iverson

Detroit, while playing well, has some issues on their bench. They're a capable bunch, that's for sure, but they don't exactly have a ton of fire power offensively. Their backup point guard situation isn't much better, not to mention the pending free-agency of Chauncey Billups. They could use some help in both areas.

Minnesota wants AI.

The Deal:

AI to Minny, Foye, Davis, Antonio McDyess go to Philly, Mike James to Detroit.

Why it makes sense:

The Sixers, like in the previous deal, get young talent and a couple contracts that go away in the next two years.

Detroit solves a bench scoring issue with James who could spell both Rip and Chauncey. It may also provide some point guard security in the event that Billups gets too much money in free agency - only a short year away.

The Wolves, get what they did in the first deal: Iverson and rid of two contracts.

The Catch:

Detroit, while interested in Mike James, may not want to mess with the chemistry they have right now - specifically putting any doubt in the fact that Chauncey is their point guard.

Obviously I'm no GM and I'm favoring the Wolves a bit, but I think both those deals would make sense for all teams involved. Of course that's like saying Kevin McHale will try to put a winning product on the floor - which we all know is true. He does try, he's just not very good at it.

Wolves 92 Kings 83

Good game. Nice to be back at it. I'm glad the expectations aren't very high - for me atleast - because it makes watching this team a lot more fun. They played well in stretches and poorly in stretched - mostly when Mike James was on the floor, but I'll get to that in a minute. Defensively they looked very good and on offense you can still see it's a work in progress. I liked what I saw out of our boys last night and I hope they can play like that every night, even if it doesn't always result in a win. They'll be competitive if they do.

The Good
Troy Hudson - I was sort of shocked when he got into the game, like I had forgotten that he could even play. He looked a lot like the T-Hud that earned the contract that we're currently paying him. The offense flowed very well when he was in the game and, even though he forced some shots, he played under control.

KG and Hassell - They were quietly dominant. KG did his thing and Hassell was knocking down open jumpers all night.

Marko the SF - This is what I'm excited about the most after watching the game. I've always liked his game, his size, length, and quickness on defense. But he's not a PG. He was disruptive on defense and he helped get the ball up and down the court on offense. If he does what he did last night all season, he could be a candidate for most improved player.

Craig Smith - The kid takes up a TON of space on the floor. He's smart and he plays very hard, sometimes to his detriment - he fouled out. He's a much more skilled version of Mad Dog who, if he matures, could be a very productive player for the Wovles this season.

The Bad
Mike James - I'm going to cut him some slack because he's in a new system with new coaches and new players, but he looked lost last night. The offense was stagnant when he was in, and I'd be willing to bet 2/3 of their turnovers came while he was in the game. It really says something when you feel more comfortable with Troy Hudson in the game. I'm hoping he can pick it up quickly and contribute the way the Wolves envisioned he could when they signed him.

Mark Blount - He hasn't attained Kandi status yet because he atleast looks like he's playing hard, but he was terrible last night. Some of that was Casey's decision to let him shoot so much early, but he was consistanly being beaten to the glass by opposing guards and employing his standard bullfighter defense "OLE!"

The Funny
Mo Taylor - His sad little effort to goad KG into getting another technical showed me exactly why he's been such a failure in the NBA. That and I think he may have wet his pants after seeing Kevin glaring at him.

Kevin being Kevin - As he's leaving the court after his post game interview, he says to Lea B Thompson, "you look good girl."

THE WOLVES JUST SIGNED...

I...

I can't.

I can't say anything. I can't do anything. This really happened. They really signed this guy. Really. No, really.

Do’s And Don’ts: A Wolves Season Preview

As the baseball playoff pictures shore up – Go Twins! – and the NFL season kicks off, the kids in the NBA begin to gather in preparation for the upcoming NBA season. This is an exciting time for every fan of every team. Dreams of vast improvement or repeating last years’ success dominate fan thought patterns. Everything is very positive for every team right now. Free agents and rookies reporting to camp, the vets coming back feeling refreshed and ready to battle for the next eight months. Expectations are riding high right now and it’s hard to keep them calm since we’ve been without the NBA for 3 months. I try my best to keep myself realistic, often edging more towards skepticism so as not to be disappointed when the Wolves don’t do what I expect them to do. So, here are some things I do and don’t expect to happen this season for my boys.

I do expect the Wolves to play better basketball.
They’ve gotten an infusion of new blood, have been improved in some areas, and will have a refreshed KG ready for another season

I don’t expect that play to be reflected much in their record.
Mike James and Randy Foye, while good players, will not be the save-all fix-all for this team this season. They need capable banger and someone who can help KG on the boards.

I do believe they’ll be in the hunt for a playoff spot deep into the season.
Much like last season, the West will be strong at the top, but tight through the middle and bottom. There’s a chance they could even be in the race into the last month of the season

I don’t believe they’ll make the playoffs.
They’re just not good enough. They don’t have anyone, besides KG, to play defense or rebound. They don’t have a lights-out shooter to keep defenses honest, and they don’t have a point guard that can run an offense effectively. They’ll be close, but they’re not there yet.

I do think Randy Foye will be a top contender for Rookie of the Year.
The kid has everything you want in a young guard: he can get to the basket, shoots the ball fairly well from the mid-range, plays with heart, and has very good character. He showed some flashes of brilliance in the summer league, earning MVP in the Vegas League.

I don’t believe he’ll win it.
He’ll put up strong numbers, he’ll contribute almost from the beginning, but in the end, the Wolves won’t be as improved as Portland, giving a lot of votes to Brandon Roy.

I do expect KG to come back strong this season.
He always does. He never enters a season without fire. KG always comes in enthusiastic, from the first day of camp. Last year is forgotten. For now.

I don’t expect him to be happy when the Wolves don’t achieve success.
When – I hope if, but – the Wolves start sliding, KG will get upset and will fade into that grimacing player he ended last season on. He’ll probably end up calling management out and making some suggestions

I don’t expect him to demand a trade or be traded.
He’s a class act and loyalty is one of his strengths. He may get frustrated, but in the end, he’ll be a Timberwolf at the end of this season

I do expect there will be changes made.
The Wolves have some excess baggage they could really get rid of, but I don’t know how much they’ll be able to dump. The continued lack of success will force McHale’s hand because if he continues to let it happen, the media won’t wait very long to lunge at his throat.

I don’t expect them to be as extensive as last season.
Part of the reason last year was such a debacle was because there was so much change that Casey didn’t know what his lineup would be day-to-day. Unless something comes by that the Wolves cannot turn down, expect the core players to be there all year

I do expect Dwayne Casey to be the head coach all season.
He’s young and he had a tough year last season but, as I said above, his lineup had no consistency due to the front office’s mangle-job. I think Glen will be a bit gun shy, firing two head coaches in three years.

I don’t expect him to avoid some heat.
He’s still young and he’s only in his second year in the first chair, so there will be some slack given, but not as much as last year. There won’t be the roster moves this year, so his effort will stand out more, for better or worse. Like I said, I don’t think their record will reflect the improvement, which means KG will not be happy. As people see KG getting unhappy, they too will get unhappy. The media in Minneapolis is nothing but negative, so they’ll be the first on the ‘Fire Casey’ bandwagon.

I expect almost nothing out of this team, as you may have realized. I hope Mike James is better than I think he is and I hope Randy Foye is half as good as I think he is. It’s still baseball season so I don’t need to talk myself off the ledge yet, but November isn’t that far away.

Here’s hoping this year is better than I expect it to be.

In the meantime, go Twins!

Hey, Did You Guys Hear...

The U.S. lost to Greece? Yeah, they lost, and the media still can't let it go. I mean, they lost. Hey radio jockeys, let it go already, Greece was exactly the team that could beat us and they did. Who cares!

For now...

Let My Bucket Swerrrrrrrrrrve, I'm Takin Off From The Curb

Say what you will about Steph, and lord knows my counterpart has said plenty (mostly things like "I heard he sits down to go pee!" and "He cried when he lost at Golden Tee!"), but this is pretty awesome.

The sneaker industry is like the diamond cartel DeBeers. There is no supply issue. There is no labor issue. The demand is simply CREATED. Nobody on earth needs sneakers. It's a unique marketplace in which the manufacturers drive up demand - through channels such as athletes and advertising - and then they basically challenge consumers. "How much are you willing to pay for these?" The answer is a lot. And it goes up every year. Stop and consider it: yes, Nike makes decent shoes. Most of the Nikes I've owned have been high quality kicks, most have not failed me in years of use. But do you honestly think there is 120 dollars worth of craftsmanship in those sneakers? No, they cost a few dollars to make and a few more dollars to ship. The cost is strictly a who-will-blink-first game of big dollars. And kids keep buying these shoes, because of the image and because they see their favorite stars rocking them on the court.

That brings it to Steph. Adidas could sell the KGs for 20 bucks. Nike could have sold the Jordans for 20 bucks. And they STILL WOULD HAVE MADE A PROFIT. But no, they had to be greedy, had to push the pricepoint, and kids shot each other for those fucking things. The point is that it's a good thing, endorsing these sneakers, and I hope that it catches on as a trend.

It won't. But I can hope, right? Just like I can hope that Buckets has a breakout year and that Marko learns how to pass sometime soon.

This Is Gangsta Shit, It's All I Know, So When I Show Up, Open The Safe And Hit The Floor

What the hell?

"Former NBA player Lonny Baxter was arrested by uniformed Secret Service agents on Wednesday after shots were fired from a vehicle about two blocks from the White House. "

and

"Both Baxter, 27, and the vehicle's passenger, 35-year-old Irvin Martin, were charged with carrying a pistol without a license and other firearms charges. It wasn't immediately clear why they were allegedly firing the gun. "

Oh, I know why. Because George Bush does not like....

Jimmy, get him on the list.

The NBA Takes On A New Tazed

I sat down this summer with Kevin McHale and Isaiah Thomas and discussed the state of the NBA and USA basketball and decided that they just weren't exciting enough. Isaiah was still feeling the pain from all the money he lost on the CBA and was on the hunt for the next big money maker, and McHale was just looking for somewhere else to try his hand at failing. We decided to we wanted to put together an exhibition team to tour around the world, playing similar teams in parts of the world where basketball may not have reached yet. Well, as mentioned above, with USA Basketball in full swing, we were limited in the talent we could take with us, plus, we were having a hard time deciding how to select our team. Isaiah seemed to only want to take selfish, overpaid players, who never quite reached their potential, so they can "earn their f'ing paychecks." McHale on the otherhand could only say one name: Joe Smith. I tried to suggest some other players and ideas, but both were pretty stubborn - I actually had to slap McHale so he would shut up. By this point Isaiah is screaming obsenities in an attempt to convince us that Marbury and Francis could indeed play together. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and left them to senslessly babble at each other. As I was sitting on my throne, reading the daily paper, I came across a story and had a brilliant idea run through my head. I hurridly finished, wiping of course, and ran back to the table where Zeke and McHale were still repeating themselves at each other.

"Guys, I've got it!"

They both turned, and started repeating themselves at me. I slapped McHale and told Isaiah Anucha was behind him and he shut right up. "Guys, check this out. I think I know how to make you both happy - well, you Isaiah, Joe Smith won't figure in yet Kev." He almost started crying until I mentioned Kandi - no Kevin, not the food, the player! "Well guys, we all know that toughness is a huge part of being a good player, right? Okay, well what signifies toughness more than being able to take a taser?" They loved it! It solved all of our problems, heck it even allows the team to chose itself!

So, starting this summer we'll be waiting to see who will select themselves for the first ever All-Tased Team, made up of NBA players! So far we've got committments from Michael Olowokandi and, most recently, Dale Davis. We're holding interviews for head coaches, with Gloria James being the front runner right now. We're keeping our hopes up that Jerry Tarkanian or John Cheney may make themselves available as well, but we'll have to wait and see.

Here's our most likely candidates thus far!


Michael Olowokandi, C - right now he's penciled into the starting lineup after he "forgot his sweatshirt" in the club


Dale Davis, F - he's also penciled into start unless Rasheed Wallace gets ghetto this offseason, or next.


Eddie Griffin, F - He's really just a matter of time. We've been talking to him and, with all the porn watching/jerking off/car crashing, we're just waiting for him to sign the contract


Isiah Rider, G - He might be a long shot due to "previous commitments" but we're hoping he can make parole in time - that's based on the good assumption that he'll be in jail. Here's hoping he resists arrest enough to get tased!


Darrell Armstrong, G - He almost made our squad at the first tryouts but fell just short. We're confident he'll have a better showing next time around.

I also received an email from Gib H. in Green Bay, asking what would happen if there weren't enough NBA players available to complete the team. In that case we're going to look into some other sports - namely the NFL or college football - to see if maybe we can fill out the team. Of course we don't see this as being a problem because we're on a 2-player-per-season pace right now, so we figure we'll have the team put together by 2011, just in time to help warm up the world for the 2012 Olympics!

We're happy to be presenting this idea to you all and, with some luck, we'll be seeing you across the globe!!

Junior Reed Is Back...

The Wolves signed the 6-8 forward to a multi year deal, details undisclosed, but it means he'll be gettin' ghetto in blue again this season. I know it's hard to believe that he gets ghetto - just look at that smile, he's so happy - but he does, and he does it Wu Tang style. He'll sneak up behind you, stick the shiv in, then alley-oop dunk on your head. Or he'll slice your achilles, jump over you, and slap your lay-up attempt into the fourth row. That's the thing about Little Junior Reed; He doesn't give a fuck about jail. Not one. I mean, would you want to spend any time in a cell with him? Fuck that, I know I wouldn't

He was a great hustle and energy guy for us last year, and he is a hell of an athelete. He was decent defensively, and he showed improvement on the offensive side. Hopefully he can come in and back up the 3 and 4 with some quality minutes.

It's so far away, but I still can't let it rest. I need this team, like I need a bag of China White

Why Broken Rappers Suck At Basketball

This summer it has been reported that Troy Hudson refused to workout infront of Timberwolves officials because he apparently doesn't trust them. He feels he's been rushed in the past. Really Troy? I think your agent put it best.

"When he goes to work for them, they push him to do more than he feels he's ready to do"

Hmm, so you don't want to workout because you're still broken and can't run or cut? You don't want us to know that? Hmm.

"I don't think Troy's unhappy being a Timberwolf; he just wants to be healthy and not pushed to do things he doesn't want to do"

Well frankly, there's a ton of shit I don't want to do, but I have to. Just because you're touring with your rap posse, doesn't mean you can skip out on workouts. Just because you don't want to? Troy, that's why you're still broken. That's why you haven't played basketball in two years - well, three if you only count the 2002 playoffs as playing.

Troy, you're broken, worn out, busted up goods, that should be retired and sent away. I know you don't feel like you're done, but you are.

Face the music Troy, you should just shut 'em down.

You Tell Me

You Lie, You Deny, Pass Me The Microphone, I Guess Like Eddie Murphy, You Was Givin Him A Ride Home

Banks out, James in, Eddie needs to spend some time in jail, and KG's in fucking India.

This could be a rough season.

I don't really know what to expect going into October. Mike James is solid, and I don't just say that based on one season in Toronto, because to judge NBA players on their time in Toronto is like judging Dr. Dre on the World Class Wreckin Cru. It just doesn't play in theaters nationwide. But I think he'll be good, certainly provide more leadership and stability than any of the clowns since 2004. He's been pretty consistent in his career, and shoots pretty hot from outside, which you've got to like.

Marko remains like a stone around the Wolves' neck. Every other player on the roster has an "out". Even Blunt, hell, just start him and give him touches, he'll be fine. Ricky could be traded at anytime, for anybody. There are no rules when you look like he does. Hudson... just bench him, forever. Don't let him play ever again. It's fine. He doesn't need to ever walk again. He's a scumbag and always has been.

But Marko... what do you do with this guy? Well, you PUT HIM AT 2 AND GET HIM THINKING LIKE A BASKETBALL PLAYER AGAIN. It's simple. Marko's problems are twofold:

1) His eyes are too close together
2) He plays point guard like I end a night after drinking heavily; that is to say, he pisses his pants

There is no cure for #1. But #2 has a solution built in. Marko has the physical tools to be a decent basketball player, dammit all, I'm serious! But not where he is right now. He's too stupid and scared to play against Americans at the point. He gets burned by Tony Parker 3 times, and he starts to cry (which looks funny, because of the narrowly-spaced eyes). But enough jokes. Get this kid some confidence, and he can be a soldier. He can't play scared.

By losing Banks, I think the Wolves are done making moves for this coming season. I just don't see a lot of trade activity that the Wolves will be a part of. They don't have enough pieces to go after a superstar, and they aren't so bloated they need to dump salary. And this season could be huge, because I feel really bad about KG, worse than I've ever felt. He's blogging in Asia right now, and there is a glaring deficiency of Wolves-related posts. I understand... he's on the other side of the earth, he should be talking about different cultures and his experiences and all, but it's obvious that he just doesn't have much interest in discussing his professional team. And that's ok, but you can tell he's stewing about something, I mean, these moves can't make him happy.

But Randy Foye, man, that guy is so ghetto I heard his momma stabbed his girlfriend's phone up cause she was late with the Burger King. So, it might be all good.

Who Doesn't Love KG Commercials?

You'll notice a couple other Wolves in this add too! Get out the box cutter mutha fukka!

KG v TD and the world

Remember this? Yeah, that's what I thought. This is one of my favorites!

A Miraid Of Pictures...

Eddie Griffin.


"Griffin also had a problem at Roman Catholic High School in Philadelphia. He was involved in a fight in the lunch room."

Awww, but look at him, he wouldn't fight anyone, would he?



"Griffin was suspended for one game by coach Tommy Amaker for an incident following Saturday's game against Georgetown. Reports indicated Griffin hit teammate Ty Shine in the locker room."

Well, if that's to dude he's hangin' with, I guess fighting in the locker room is just part of his business. Do you see the look in that dudes' eyes? I'm pretty sure someone will get 'dealt with' soon.



"He failed to show up for several practices in 2003 training camp and was suspended. During the suspension, there was gunfire at his home on Oct. 25. He was charged with assault with a deadly weapon. Later, he was ordered to stand trial on a misdemeanor for drug possession."

Hey Eddie, why you poutin'? You still mad you missed your ol' lady?



"The suit alleges that Griffin was drunk and watching a porno movie on a DVD screen while driving and masturbating when he lost control of his vehicle. "

Just imagine the same look, but the eyes are droopy and can't see clear.



"The hair on his head is closely cropped, and the facial hair is still thin enough to question whether or not it could grow other than above his lip and below his chin."

I just can't put enough emphasis on one's ability to grow a mustache. Your life success rate depends soley on that ability, and if you can't grow anything but a thin mustache, you're chances of success are just that: Slim.

Oh, and incase you forgot...

Oh, so we up and steal Mike James?

That's enough to bring me back from the dead, sho nuff.

James is old, but he's consistent. I'd rather have him than Marko and Troy. Yeah, no shit. And I'd rather have 2 chocolate bars than a bird flu sandwich. They trade like dice these days. Anyway, yeah, I'm excited at that. Does that mean no more Banks? Well, if so, I guess that's not so bad. Banks has too much potential and raw energy, and not enough skills like "holding on to the basketball" and "passing to teammates instead of opponents". I'm not knocking though. It's all good. I'm just surprised James wants to play with the Wolves. I mean, come on. We're not exactly asking our bosses if it would be ok if we took a few weeks off in June "just in case", now, are we?

Welcome aboard James! Have you met Eddie Griffin? He's got some movies to show you...

Summer In Las Vegas

It’s early and he’s only playing against B and C level talent, but Randy Foye has certainly shown why the Wolves coveted him in this years NBA draft. Although I haven’t had an opportunity to see him play this summer, it sounds as though he’s picked up where he left off in the NCAA tournament in March. Which is a great sign for us Timberwolves fans.

Here are his box scores from three Las Vegas Summer games:



A few numbers stick out for me, both good and bad.

Field Goal Percentage – The one thing that many said about Foye was that he needed to work on his shooting – 39.8% in college. While a majority of his shots are taken driving to the basket, it was reported that he settled for jumpers in the second half of the first game, in which he was 9-17 from the field. The Wolves still want him to work on his outside game, but he seems to have already done some of that work already.

Free Throw Attempts – This is an area that the Wolves have needed help in since, oh I don’t know, ever? They’ve never had someone who could consistently get to the charity stripe and so far, Foye looks like he’s pretty comfortable doing just that. His attempts, as you can see, have increased each game, and he shoots a good percentage – 78% in college. Again, it’s against low-tier talent, but if he can keep his aggressiveness up, he’ll really help the Wolves this season

Assists – The rap on Foye was that he was an undersized two-guard who, in spurts, could play the point. With only two assists in three games, that appears to be a more than accurate assessment. I also realize that Bracey Wright looks like he’s been playing most of the minutes at the point, with Foye at the two, so obviously his assists aren’t going to be there. He’s young and learning a new game, a new system, and hopefully soon, a new position. The comparisons to D-Wade – in game style only – seem to be accurate, which begs the question: What happens when Rashad McCants comes back?

The more I’ve read about Foye, the more I like him. He seems to be poised on either end of the floor and has a good head on his shoulders. I won’t really be able to make a complete judgment on him until I get to see him play, but thus far, I’m pleasantly surprised by McHale’s decision. I really can’t wait to see him play – again.

Bitter Sweet Finish To The Finals

There are a number of reasons why I was cheering for Dallas in Game 6. I love Dirk Nowitzki. He's such a fun player to watch and he seems like a good person. I love Devin Harris. I thought he was a great pick for them two years ago and that he would be a contributor for the Mavs in the future. The future is now I guess. I love Jason Terry. The transformation he's made since his arrival in Dallas has been fun to watch. He's become a much better player since his days in a Hawks jersey. I love Mark Cuban. Sure, he's outspoken, loud, and sometimes obnoxious, but the things he's trying to do for the game are great. Running onto the court and berating officials aside, he's great for the NBA. I love the Mavericks. Well, as much as a Timberwolves fan can anyways. They've been a fun team to watch for the past 7 years and I really feel they've got a ring coming to them.

But, my feelings for the Mavs aside, the reason I was rooting for them last night was simply because I wanted more. I wanted a game 7. I wanted to watch the Mavs and Heat just one more time. The series itself has been deemed controversial, which is probably true, but aren't they all? That's what makes them great. By the time the Finals come around, every NBA fan has picked a team they want to win - or NOT to win. Some say they don't care, but in the back of their mind, there's a little bit of emotion tied into one team more than that other. I'm clearly that way, but not because I dislike Miami. I just felt that it was Dallas' time, that it was meant to be. They knocked of their nemesis in San Antonio, then beat their old mate in Phoenix. It just felt as if it was going to happen. Of course, Miami fended of their nemesis and reached one step closer to the promise of their super-sized leader, made two years ago. So I guess they were both destined to win.

Of course that's not possible.

And so after 18 years, the championship trophy is in Florida. Which is okay. I guess.

Back to my feelings on the Heat

It's tough for me with the Heat. They're a great team - clearly - but they just don't make sense. They seem to be rebuilding every year - and it's working. Three years ago they signed Lamar Odom and drafted Dwayne Wade, and damn near made the Eastern Conference Finals. That wasn't good enough. So they send the nucleus, minus D-Wade, to L.A. for Shaquille O'neal. That gets them to the Conference Finals. Not good enough. They then nearly rebuild their bench, half their starting rotation, and their head coach and grab the trophy. It's very rare that you see a team damn near reabuild itself three years in a row and still find success - see Timberwolves last three seasons. So it's a surprise to see them having success with it.

But that's not what gets me.

What gets me is the personnel. The players they brought in are not guys you're supposed to get to win a championship. Antoine Walker, Jason Williams, James Posey. All these guys are "me first" guys. They haven't ever cared about winning or their teammates or any kind of sacrifice for the greater good. They were all cast offs, guys who alienated their former teams, but they were brought into Miami. And Pat Riley is the guy who orchestrated the whole thing. As Steve Simpson and I discussed over more than a few beers the other day, he has to be one of the greatest minds in the NBA. He knew exactly what he was doing when he brought those players in and he knew exactly what he was doing when he replaced Stan Van Gundy on the bench when those players weren't playing the way they were suposed to. He knew there would be a learning curve and a "getting to know you" period with those new players. He heard the criticism and took the bad press in stride. And now he's the one laughing all the way to the bank. I'm not a huge Riley fan, but I give the man all the credit for his ability to coach and run teams in the NBA.

Guys I'm happy/sad to see wearing rings

Antoine Walker - Of all the players on any roster in the league, this guy is the least deserving of a ring. Yes, he changed the way he plays to meld with his team - which I commend him for, but 40 games of "playing the right way" does not make up for 10 years of playing like a selfish asshole. Now, don't get me wrong, I liked watching Walker play in Boston, or as Dr. HotWings would say "I feel it, I'm open, HUCK IT UP!!" He's always been a good player, but a very selfish player. He, by himself, took more threes than some TEAMS took. It was rediculous, especially since he's a 30% shooter. I congratulate him, but grudgingly, because there are better players out there that deserve a ring more than he does.

Gary Payton - He, for many years, was one of my favorite players in the NBA. His ability to take over games on both ends of the floor and the swagger with which he carried himself were always my favorite things to watch. He'd pick a guys pocket in the back court, cross him back over, then toss a ball off the backboard to a leaping Shawn Kemp, who'd bring the whole basket to it's knees. When he was in Seattle he was an electrifying defender and a trash talk king. I'm happy that he won a championship. I only wish it had been with the Sonics. Ten years ago.

Shaquille O'neal - He's never made any gripes about who he is. He's always outspoken and seemingly honest with the media. His brash personality has rubbed many the wrong way and yet, he follow through on his promises and does what he says he's going to do. He no longer cares about his statistical domination of the game. He only wants rings. I'm glad he followed through on his promise, but not for him. I'm glad for the Heat franchise. They came into the league around the same time the Wolves did and have become the first of that bunch (Miami, Orlando, Minnesota, Charlotte(New Orleans now)) to win a championship. I glad he won it for Kobe too. I know Shaquille wasn't a saint when it came to the whole debacle in Los Angeles, but it was a shame that egos were too big to keep a dynasty together. This comes from a man who hated those Laker teams, hated every player, coach, or anything that even looked like something 'Lakers.' But it's always a shame to see a dynasty fall apart before it really gets going. I'm just happy he got his fourth ring not in Los Angeles.

Alonzo Mourning - I've hated this man for many, many years. Since his days in Charlotte as a matter of fact. He's a pompous asshole who doesn't give a damn about anything but himself. And probably never will. I've never, though, doubted his ability, his drive, and his heart. He was one of there last great centers. He was a physical banger who could score. I spent much of the late 90's watching him in playoff battles - enjoyed watching him - despite my utter hatred. It was like watching Patrick Ewing as well - don't get me started on that asshole. So seeing a ring on his finger is sort of bitter sweet. He's been a warrior in the NBA and has been a very good player, not to mention the second player to come back after having a kidney transplant. Does he deserve a ring? Yes, he does. But he's still an asshole. I'll just have to live with that.

Dwyane Wade - The kid is amazing, he really is. Anyone who doubted that after last season can be quiet. Anyone who doubted him after this season can be quiet. Anyone who doubted him after the Cleveland series can be quiet now. Anyone who doubted him after the Pistons series wasn't watching. And anyone who doubts him now is just in denile. He's the only player from that 2003 draft that is better than advertised. Way better. We're not going to talk about LeBron right now. He didn't win a ring. When Wade took over, the Heat won. Nobody could've guessed this kid would be this good this early. Shut up, no you didn't - do you even know where Marquette University is?


So congrats Heat, sorry Mavs, make way for the draft bitch-es!!!

And it’s done….

The draft lottery has been won by the Toronto Raptors. They now have the pressure of making the correct pick at the top of the draft, which will determine who gets who in the top three. They’ll have to recoup their mistakes made in the past, but with Colangelo in charge, NBA nation should have faith. Of course, if I were a Raptors fan, we’d talk more about that, but I’m not. I’m a Wolves fan. So here we are again with the sixth pick in a deep draft devoid of any sure fire top picks, which bodes well for the Wolves. I think this is a draft that will yield few great players but a large number of good players, which means it should be hard to screw this one up. But then again, we’ve got Kevin McHale sinking this ship, so it’s hard to say. Of course now is not a time of negatives and bashing, but rather, a time of optimism and hope for the future.

It’s kind of weird as a Wolves fan to be in the lottery – or have a first round pick at all – what with 8 straight years of post season play and the whole Joe Smith debacle. I remember back when the team was struggling to win 30 games a season, how excited I always was this time of year. A chance to grab a great player, a superstar of the future, someone who could take my team and put them on his shoulders and carry all of us to the promised land. Then we drafted Christian Laettner, Felton Spencer, Luc Longley, and Stoiko Vrankovic. Great. Ahh, but that’s Timberwolves past. That’s old ownership, old management, and old school NBA. That was before kids coming out early was the majority, before scouting in Europe was commonplace, and before we shook hands with Joe Smith – and recorded it. We’re through all that now – sort of. We’ve gotten out of David Stern’s doghouse, we’ve got an owner who shows he’s willing to spend money – sometimes, and a GM who does know the game of basketball – atleast from a playing standpoint. But we’re not that far removed from our early history or a recent history – say 2003. We’re right in the middle – not struggling to win 30 games, but we’re not in the post season either. This is an important time for this team. Their superstar is aging – both physically and mentally, and the fans are used to Western Conference championship games – after only one year. It’s tough for Minnesota fans to remember how long it took to get over the hump of one-and-dones, and now that they’ve seen it, they are much less willing to accept anything less. It’s amazing how quickly it is, as a fan, to get used to success.

6 straight years of road playoff series, with very little chance of victory, was tough on me as a fan. I started getting frustrated watching my team get close, but not close enough. Then, in 2002 they broke through and had home court advantage. Yay!! Great! This is awesome! This is their year. Only to draw the fucking Lakers. Damn it!! They fought valiantly in the series but just couldn’t beat them – and really, who though they could? Honestly? Okay, that’s okay, they made a break though, they were a four seed and just had a bad draw, that’s fine. Then, they make a couple moves and BAM! #1 seed Western Conference! HOLY SHIT!!! They won their last 9 regular season games to gain home court through the Western Conference Finals! They rampaged Denver, even though the media gave them a hard time – 4-1 series victory doesn’t count as hard. They won their first game 7 against a great Sacramento team to reach the Western Conference Finals. FUCK YEAH! And, in six games, without their dagger throwing point guard, lost to the Lakers who eventually got embarrassed by the Detroit Pistons in the Finals. Wow, what a fun year! That was awesome! And they have it all back next season!! Wooo Whooo!

Then, as we watched the last two seasons, the wheels fell off the bus, and we’re right back where I started with this blog – sorry, I get rambling.

Anyways….

So, the 2006 NBA draft should be an interesting one for the Wolves because I believe Kevin McHale’s future depends on it. If he cannot deliver this season, his star may fully turn on him and force Glen Taylor’s hand.

They’ve got the #6 pick in the first round this year, plus three second round picks – their own, Boston’s, and Phoenix’s. Their main needs are rebounding, defense, outside shooting, and playmaking.

What they do in the draft may very well depend on what they do with their current free agents. They have 6 guys who are not under contract for this year, three of which they most likely will not retain – Richie Frahm, Ronald DuPree, Anthony Carter. Justin Reed is a restricted free agent so the Wolves can match any offer tendered by another team. They have the draft rights to Bracey Wright so he’ll probably be a D-Leaguer again this season. The important free agent this year is Marcus Banks, who’s un-restricted, meaning we cannot match any offers to keep him. The market may be over inflated for the Wolves to retain him if another team is desperate for a good point guard. I presume the Wolves will resign him unless another team throws stacks at him – ala Chauncey Billups. Of course the Wolves did give him a chance to play and showcase his skills, so he may be retained at a “home town” discount – although he’s a Vegas boy, so maybe the money will sell.

If they do not retain Marcus Banks, the Wolves will have to pursue other options at the point guard position because Marko Jaric clearly can’t hack it as a starting PG in the league. If they don’t get one via free agency (thin, thin market) or trade (Stephon Marbury unlikely) they may need to take one in the draft. That would make Marcus Williams the sixth pick in the draft, which I would be okay with. The kid is a very good leader, has played well in pressure situations, is a pass-first point guard, and has seen his stock skyrocket due to great workouts thus far. He’s been shooting lights out in those workouts, which has quelled some doubt in his ability to shoot – which has been considered his biggest flaw. Having a rookie starting point guard is not an ideal situation but New Orleans and Utah had success with theirs and Marcus is definately in the same league as Deron Williams.

If they DO resign Banks, then that leaves the door much more open for that pick. Most mock drafts have the Wolves selecting Rudy Gay with their pick, and it’s hard to argue. He’s one of the most skilled players in the draft, who can pass, score, and defend – for a college kid. Of course his character has been called into question because of the lack of effort displayed during the NCAA Tournament, but so was Rashad’s and his hasn’t been a problem at all so far. Gay is big for a 3 and is a great athlete, who’d look pretty nice next to KG and McCants.

Obviously there are tons of workouts to be held plus the draft camp in Orlando so things could change. Not to mention the early entries that have yet to sign with an agent could throw some draft boards off. A couple other guys the Wolves should look at based on their needs are Shelden Williams and J.J. Redick – shut up Duke haters.

Shelden was one of the premiere defenders and rebounders in college basketball last season and has all the tools to be a contributor right away in the NBA. His offense needs some polishing, but he could step in right away and give the Wolves a good presence in the paint. He’s played in a great system, for a great coach, for four years, so I think he’s proved he’s a player. Obviously big guys out of Duke bring back memories of Laettner and Cherokee Parks, but Elton Brand and Carlos Boozer have both become solid NBA players.

Redick is a bit more of a wild card. Most project him as a late lottery pick and a guy who will be a complimentary player for the next decade. I believe he’s better than people expect – ala Reggie Miller. He’s been the go to guy at Duke for the past three seasons, with the whole of opposing defenses keying in on him. He’s a hustle guy who knows what it’s like to play under pressure and an amazing shooter. His quick release and ability to work off of screens will allow him to adjust to the NBA game. He might be a reach at six, but trading down to get him may be an option for the Wolves.

Second round options.

We all know the second round is kind of a joke, but tell that to San Antonio and they'll show you an All-Star calibur shooting guard who terrorized defenses on a nightly basis. It's a crapshoot most years, and is to an extent this year, but not as much so as in the past. The deepness of this draft will extend into the first half of the second round, with many of those guys contributing in the next two or three years. I belive this season, the second round is worth more of a look than in the recent past. If you have watched college basketball at all over the past two or three years, there will be many familiar names in the second round. Dee Brown and James Augustine from Illinois' runner up team, Nick Fazekas from Nevada's Sweet Sixteen squad, Mike Gansey (shattered my dreams of a GT championship two years ago) from West Virginia, sharp shooting Marquette guard Steve Novak, and Big Ten player of the year Marko Killingsworth from Indiana. There will be a lot of talent available towards the top of the second round, where the Wolves have two picks(#36,#37). I'm not even going to get into guessing who they'd take, but there will be some talented players available for them.

In conclusion….

Like I said last year at this time, the Wolves are in a good place in the draft with the sixth pick. There is a plethora of talent out there and they should be able to get a good talent no matter who they end up taking. The only problem with this draft for the Wolves is that the strength in this draft is in the SG/SF positions which they are over stocked at as it is. The free agent market is not very good this offseason, especially in the departments they need help at – rebounding and post defense, so they may need to deal a couple of their guards to get into position to really make improvements. I’ll be pretty comfortable with whomever the Wolves take, as long as it isn’t some foreign player I’ve never heard of or a stretch pick specifically to fill a need. Either of the Williams kids, Gay, or Redick would fill holes on the roster and help the Wolves now and in the future.

A Season On The Stink

There are fewer situations tougher than what Dwyane Casey has had to deal with this season. Injuries and trades have left Casey guessing as to who is going to play night in night out. Mixed messages from management, anywhere from ‘win now’ to ‘let’s see what we’ve got,’ have left this team and it’s coach completely confused. Add all of that to the fact that this is Casey’s first year at the helm, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

Going into the season, the Wolves looked like a team that was better, if only in attitude, than the one that failed to reclaim their conference finals success of the season prior. An unhealthy Sam Cassell out the door, an experienced but untapped potential Marko Jaric was in. Troy Hudson was healthy, or so we thought. Wally was back on track and Rashad McCants was a rookie with sky high offensive abilities. Heck, even Kandi was looking ahead to a good season, what with it being a contract year. Our new head coach was a defensive minded coach, which was something this team lacked last season. KG was always going to be KG so we were good to go right? Yeah….

First, Hudson’s ankle went poppy, then Marko’s confidence was replaced with wobbly knees and a liquid spine and we all came back to earth when Rashad played like what he was: a rookie. KG, Wally, and the defense were looking good though. Then it started to fall apart. The offense was stagnant and the adjustments Casey installed seemed to slacken the defense and the losing began. As the losing got worse, so did Dwayne’s ability to coach, or so it seemed. He couldn’t decide on a starting lineup or a solid rotation. Players would play 35 minutes one game and six the next. No one knew when they would play or how much, and the confidence ebbed away even further. The team started to nosedive. Then management stepped in. Wally and Kandi out, Buckets, Banks, Reed, and Blount in. Nothing changed though. No solid lineup, no consistent rotations, still no winning.

The team played great – in stretches. First quarter, the Wolves would run out to an early lead, seemingly dominating the opponent. Then, sometime in the third quarter, the other team would make adjustments and Casey couldn’t follow. Too many times this season, the Wolves let a double digit lead slip away – by slip away I mean turned into a double digit loss. Everyone knows that it’s harder to play together when it’s not going well, but that’s where the coach usually steps in and makes adjustments to curb what the opponent is doing. Not this coach, not this team. Watching teams switch to a zone defense and the Wolves simply looking lost was a sight all too familiar this season. They still can’t defend the pick and roll. They beat Phoenix one night then lose to Orlando by 20 the next. There has yet to be any kind of consistent play from this team night in and night out, hell even quarter to quarter.

Now, as the season winds down, things are getting worse. KG and Buckets aren’t going on road trips, let alone playing. Your two best players, staying home. Great, nice work management. Sure, maybe Casey told them they’d only be playing the first and third quarters and KG and Buckets balked at the idea and decided to stay away – due to “injuries.” Yeah, right. 351 straight starts? A streak ended by tendonitis? Sure, whatever. Buckets not playing through a groin strain? BUCKETS?? The man who doesn’t know there’s a score? Or a clock? Or anything else other than gettin’ buckets? Okay. Sure, I guess.

I know, I know, the team needs to keep its record bad so they can keep their pick But do you really think that pick matters to KG? I guess maybe he’d welcome another new face, a good young player, but at the cost of winning games? Even meaningless ones? Not a chance in hell. He’d rather lose his right hand than lose games. He dies to win and the past two seasons have killed him. You can see it in the way he walks, the way he plays, the way he talks to the media now. He’s called out players on his team, just like a leader should. He’s questioned the coach when it was warranted, just like a superstar should. He’s even called out the GM on the team, just as any person with a pulse should do – yeah Deadzo, we’re looking at you. KG has handled his frustration like a perfect gentleman all season, and he gets rewarded with 6 throw away games to save a draft pick that will be made by a man that he clearly no longer trusts. Ouch.

So nine months after finishing a season filled with turmoil, locker room unrest, and disappointment, we’re right back where we started. Sure, the guys that were the main cause of last season’s stress filled locker room were sent walking and that feeling fell away for awhile, but still, nothing has changed. A team that was expected to atleast battle for a playoff spot has been out of the running since February, mentally if not mathematically. We are headed into another summer in which the team will have to face many of the same questions and shortcomings of the offseasons past with the answers no more clear than before.

I guess though, that’s Minnesota basketball isn’t it?

Thank God It's March

It's nice to be able to watch basketball and not be mad at the team you're watching. Championship week, followed by the NCAA tourney is a breath of fresh basketball air. Instead of watching my team fold on itself in every fourth quarter, I can watch the hopes and dreams of college kids come true or get shattered. I mean, I was watching the Montana Grizzlies and they didn't fold down the stretch. Fairleigh Dickinson did, but I don't care about them. Syracuse bought themselves a little bigger bag of tournament hopes while Cinci may have ended their season. But it's all good, because I can watch them win and lose and I'm not emotionally scared afterwards. Watching a certain professional team from my hometown on the other hand is just plain excruciating. But, as I said, it's March, so for the next few weeks I will be immersed in a much less painful kind of basketball experience...

Why even post at this point?

Seriously. Why even type anything?

The Wackest Crews Try To Dis It Makes Me Laugh, When My Track Record's Longer Than A DC-20 Aircraft

Consistency

That's the word of the day, children. We will sit here and study it until we have its complete meaning entrenched in our brains.

Consistency

You see, young people, this basketball team lacks any semblance of anything that could remotely be qualified as being close to consistency. Up by 10? No problem. In the time it takes to drop a shot of Double Barrel into a frothing High Life, they'll be down by 5. Up by 2 going into half time? Stay for the dog show, leave when the Wolves take the floor. Because you can bet they're down double digits by the 10:00 mark.

Have they ever been this horribly inconsistent? I don't think they have, at least not since before the Wally days. Ah yes, Walter. You remember him, right kids? And he was a model in what?

Consistency

Right. Yes he was. His shots fell at a 50% clip nearly all the time. Make one, miss one, make one and wear metrosexual sunglasses. All in a day's work for Walt.

Buckets, Banks, Blunt.... wow. They explode for 15 points unanswered, then can't hit anything for the rest of the quarter. KG just goes with the flow, he can't be fazed by it. I see the look in his eyes. "What? We're down by how much? But we're just playin ball, man!" Yeah, playing ball and losing.

Look, I'm not knocking this tempo of play. Lord knows I've stood up and screamed "Oh just HAVE YOURSELF SOME, BUCKETS!!!!!!" more than enough times. But this is the ride we paid for when we got these guys, so I guess the message is; make sure you're belts are fastened and be sure you've got plenty of dramamine.

It's still fun though... I mean it's fun to watch these athletes play this game. Losing's not fun, but if you're going to lose, better to play ghetto ball then to have Marko Jaric in the game, ever.

Next year, young students, next year. Yes, we're already talking about it. Because this year is shot and it's only going to bring more pain ("Vince dunks over Blunt AGAIN!!!!! Holy cow!!!!" is coming tonight), but let's take a look at the coming years. If these guys can form a cohesive unit and somehow run actual plays instead of street ball, just once in a while, we might have something. I'll defer to my associate for more analysis of potential trades, but to be sure, I'm excited about next year, and it's March 1st. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it just is.

Oh, and also, next year, it's very possible that a certain player could return to the Wolves. He wears number 32. He is one of the best shooters in the NBA. He shook my hand and changed my life. You know what his name is?

Consistency

That's right. Go now, teach the others what you have learned.

Are You Reading This Deadzo?

Okay, so the Wolves need to do some work and since the trading deadline has passed, the offseason is where they’ll have to make their moves. We have needs a plenty, but before we delve into what’s needed, let’s focus on what we have.

Depth Chart

PG – Marko Jaric, Troy Hudson
SG – Trenton Hassell, Rashad McCants
SF – Ricky Davis
PF – Kevin Garnett, Mark Madsen, Eddie Griffin
C – Mark Blount

FA – Marcus Banks, Justin Reed, Anthony Carter, Richie Frahm, Ronald Dupree, Bracey Wright

Banks should get resigned, and if he doesn’t, the Wolves are retarded. AC will probably be back because he’s our new Darrick Martin, or a slight improvement. Richie and Ronny won’t be back and Justin and Bracey are sort of wildcards. Reed should be back, but we’ll see, it’ll depend on what kind of money we have left. Don’t forget about Freddy Hoiberg yet either, he may be back too.

So, this is what you’re looking at for next season

PG Marcus Banks then Marko
SG Trenton Hassell then Rashad
SF Ricky Davis then maybe Reed
PF Kevin Garnett then Mad Dog
C Mark Blount then Griff

Clearly this is not a lineup that leads to success, as we’ve witnessed thus far this season. We have zero outside shooting and we’re an awful rebounding and interior defensive team – the Bulls score 30 points in the paint in the first half last night. Ouch. Okay, so we need a sharp shooter and a defensive hog/rebound monster. The Wolves are over the cap, so they’ll only have the usual exceptions ($5m and $1m) to sign free agents, and most of that money should be used on the guys we already have (Marcus, Justin, AC).

There are two moves that I think could drastically improve this team.

Trade Trenton Hassell to Milwaukee for Dan Gadzuric

We could use a center that doesn’t need the ball, can play defense, and rebound. The Bucks could use some help defensively on the wings. Gadzuric’s contract has an extra year and roughly $7 million more than Hassell’s but he comes at a relative bargain for a 7-footer. He’s a better than average shot blocker, a solid defensive presence, and a very good rebounder, especially on the offensive end. He can score, but doesn’t need touches and he’s only 27, so he’s got a few good years left in him. Gadzuric’s minutes have been nearly cut in half this season due to the play of rookie Andrew Bogut and the early season trade for Jamaal Magloire, but in ’04-05 he was very productive. In 22 minutes he scored a little more than 7ppg, grabbed over 8rpg – 3.2 on the offensive, and blocked over 1 shot per game. He’s a team guy and he’s never been a problem in the locker room, even after seeing his playing time get choked out by Magloire.

What else would this trade accomplish?
Well, clearly we’d get a center who can provide some production on both ends of the floor, unlike Blount and Griff who only play on one end. What this also does is open up the starting lineup for Rashad McCants, who I believe will be ready for that spot come next year. He’s playing better defense and he’s looking more confident on the offensive end.

Trade Marko Jaric to New York for Quentin Richardson

This was a trade that was rumored right around the trade deadline before the Knicks acquired Steve Francis. We could really use an outside shooter and the Knicks need someone who doesn’t need to shoot, not to mention that the Q Experiment has not panned out the way Isaiah wanted it to. Again, we take on some extra salary, but we get rid of a GF who thinks he’s a PG and we get an outside bomber in return. Richardson is young, athletic, and thrives in situations where he can get out and run. Ricky and Marcus have already started the Wolves in the direction of a running team, and with a 3-point Shootout crown on his mantle, Q might just be what we need to complete that transition.

So if the Wolves could get these two deals done, this is what you’d be looking at.

PG – Marcus Banks then AC
SG – Rashad McCants then Q
SF – Ricky Davis then maybe Reed
PF – Kevin Garnett then Eddie Griff
C – Dan Gadzuric then Blount

There’s a lot of flexibility in that lineup, allowing the Wolves to go normal sized or small, but with an amazing ability to run – ala the Suns last season. Not to mention that if Fred Hoiberg comes back, he gives you another shooter. Troy could fit into that system as well, assuming his ankle can finally be fixed - but that’s a big assumption. Fill out the rest of the roster with Bracey (D-League), Mad Dog, and our draft pick – assuming we don’t make the playoffs and you’re looking like a relatively young, athletic team that could easily compete in the Midwest Division.

All This...and World War II

Yeah, take a look at that summary on iMDB sometime. An entire film of World War II footage with people covering the Beatles as sound. That's it. People out here went to that premiere and it was...well, who remembers it? Way too many pills since then. Ask someone about it, and they get nervous and struggle to remember.

And after five losses with uninspired play, I was nervous going in to last night's Lakers game. The scrubs on the Lakers who realized they weren't getting traded after all had stepped it up of late. And for the first half, despite the lead, there was still little to make me think otherwise that the Clips would fade again. Hulk Hogan injured, out. Maghetto sitting on the bench. And then, what had to happen did.

There was a moment at the turn of the year, where Cassell was running his mouth about how he motivates, blah blah. But thankfully, Elton Brand decided to show him a sack of nats that were indeed larger than Sam's. And there's only so much motivation you can do when you can hit a fucking shot. This team is carried by Brand. He stepped up the energy and just took it right in the mouth of the Faker D. And the only response was shoulder-tackling Sam to the ground.

All this with the injuries. I mean, is Rad Man the answer to fill in for Ross? Maybe, if he can keep up with the outside shooting. But then, in my moments of joy, there was a man on my screen that made it all come crashing down. It was Vin Baker. He was hungover. Lifeless. Yutzburger talked about how he's "fought the demons." Guys, if he shows up on the court, HE IS THE DEMON. He is the man who, more than injury, could sink this sailin' Clip right into the ocean. If the Clips have to turn to him for ANYTHING, it's over. It's just over. And it's the Sterling Silver in the crown of ineptness if it goes through.

Shit, the Georgia State game is on...enough of my yappin.

$30 Million Backcourt

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isaiah, are you sure you and Larry are on the same page? Cuz Francis? A "Larry Brown" guy? I think not. He's an Isaiah guy. He's selfish, talented, and a loser. He cried when he and Mobley got traded to Orlando, cried harder when Mobley got moved to the Kings, and has been sobbing uncontrollably since the trade rumors began about a month ago. How in God's name is he going to handle the New York media? I can't even talk about how stupid this is for the Knicks, so I'm going to switch sides and talk about this trade for Orlando

This, I believe, is a great trade for Orlando. They're going to suffer through the rest of this season, but they'll have nearly $16 million come off the cap next season and they got a young small forward who's shown some potential. The rid themselves of the cancer that was Steve Francis and now have money, picks, and parts to continue to get their ship back up and running. They're committed to building around Dwight Howard and I can't say enough about how smart that is. I watched All Star weekend and they interviewed him on a coupld of occasions and I really think that kid is special. We all know he's good at throwing rocks around, but he also strikes me as a well balanced and intelligent individual. Kelvin Kato's contract to Detroit for Carlos Arroyo and Darko Milicic was a great trade too. Carlos is a bit of a malcontent, but he's still young and talented and will, if nothing else, push Jameer Nelson to be a better player. Darko is a bit of a gamble because no one knows what he's going to turn into, but he's an inexpensive gamble to take, with $4 million and a year left.

In That Acura, Same Soldiers Attackin Ya, Desert Chameleon, No Civilian, Better Known As Dracula

There are some albums that, if someone else references, you just immediately know they're down. If you're talking with someone and they drop "Yeah, that's cool, but Atom Heart Mother will always be my favorite Floyd album", you know you're talking to Good People. The same goes for "Heist of the Century". If you're discussing the Wu Tang Clan with someone, and they venture into La The Darkman territory, they know what they are talking about. Stay close to them.

The soldiers are attacking right now, and the optimism is churning in my stomach.

It's not easy, but I think we all needed this win. It doesn't mean anything in the long run - the win itself - but the team is starting to move together and to feel each other out.

Ok, Banks is still a bit confused on that pick and roll. It seemed like Ridnour just wanted to run it into the ground last night, and Banks was lost on a more than a few of them. But the rotation made up for it quite often, and as was mentioned before, the Sonics couldn't hit their open shots. This isn't going to work against a good team, but let's not worry about that yet. Let's examine how these guys are playing with each other, and if this is indeed the best starting 5 we can go with.

Marcus Banks

First of all, I put Banks in here because he's obviously the go-to guy, even though he doesn't start. It's great to split time with AC, but we all know that in the 4th quarter, you give it to Markie. Ok, as best I can define Marcus' game, it's something like a controlled chaos with a lot of different options and somewhat erratic style. That means he does a lot of things (like Dave previously mentioned) like drive the lane, dish, pull up and hit a shot, etc. But he also loses the ball, throws it to the other team, or just travels. It's not an "inconsistent" way of playing, it's just chaotic. When he gets the ball and starts his move, it's like a tornado touching down. You just don't know what's going to happen.

Ricky Davis

If I may paraphrase Bill Simmons: Ricky doesn't seem to know that they keep score in a basketball game, and he plays hard regardless of the situation or the opponent. Again, Dave said it best when he called him the poor-man's Latrell Sprewell (by the way, being that Ricky's so young, he could EASILY become better than Spree as he ages). He's the kind of guy who doesn't need anyone else to do anything for him. He can ball all by himself. In fact, he works better when isolated on his man. Same goes on defense. Ricky's the guy you just leave alone. "Hey Buckets, you see that guy wearing number 25? Yeah, just try to not let him score. Oh, and on offense, try to score points. Cool?"

Trenton Hassell

Ok, is it me, or has his game changed since the trade? He seems to be a complete player now, someone not buried by the offense and passing, someone who can be relied on to hit a jump shot. Now, he always has had a good touch, but now it's like he's getting aggressive in the kitchen, firing shots and making moves all over the place. I think Ricky has ghettoed him up. He's still sneaky, and he probably will be for the rest of his career, because people just don't think Hass will burn them. But he's got game and it's perfect that he's not featured in this offense. He takes defenses by surprise with his shooting, dunking and (gasp!) passing.

KG

This new team isn't quite the "Sam and Spree make life easy for KG" of two years ago, but they do make it easier on him. KG knows that on certain posessions, he can just dump it to Ricky and let him go, or kick it out to Markie for the whirling dervish into the lane, and basically just look for the rebound. That's got to feel good. KG spent the first half of this season being a babysitter to Marko, Troy, Kandi and Wally because those guys would lose their ass if it weren't screwed on tight. Not saying anything about Wally, but he needs the offense to move around him, and KG has to start and end it all. So without having to make so sure the offense is running smoothly, he's free to just play, and that may be good and may be bad, but at least he looks a little less tired now.

Old Dirt Dog

I can't imagine a less-skilled starting center in the NBA, but that's the rub. For some reason, he plays exceptionally well with this starting lineup. You know what it's like? It's like Big Swerve two years ago. He doesn't do anything other than what he's told, and he just takes up space and clears guys out. God bless Blunt and Eddie, and it's tough to not see them out there more, but Madsen does what is necessary for the other guys to have themselves some, so I think we're going to see him in there for awhile.

Actually, Madsen is a perfect microcosm for this starting lineup. You've got 4 scorers (with two being the big dogs) and one guy who runs around like a psycho tracking down loose balls and generally crashing into the floor. It works because the other guys get more space this way, and more touches. Both Ricky and Banks are guys that need to get touches to get going. Hass and KG are the complete opposite of that... it's almost like they're better when they're not the focus. Madsen never touches the ball, never WANTS to touch the ball, and doesn't care if he trips and falls. In short, he fits perfectly.

Personally, I like this starting lineup, and I'm glad that Casey's giving it an honest look. It seems like it's set for the time being, and I say let it ride until it falls apart. This is certainly not the best lineup we can put out there in terms of talent (I'd sub Blunt for Madsen and McCants for Hassell - just to have 5 complete offensive weapons out there at once), but undoubtedly these are the best 5 guys to play as a unit.

The sure-fire way to have success in the NBA is to have a reliable starting 5, bench players with clearly defined roles, and a coaching system that enforces rules and keeps everyone accountable. It's a tightrope to walk and I don't pretend that I have any answers at all. But look at the teams that are successful for long periods of time. They don't have players who go in and out of favor. They don't have guys who all of a sudden play 40 minutes a game just because they had a good practice or whatever. The teams put their same guys out there and use the same rotations because they are the best they have and they all work within the system. I'd like to see that out of the Wolves, that sense of order. It's not there yet, and probably won't be for the rest of this season, just because of these new guys and the new coach and all. But next year, it would be nice to see a defined starting lineup and a semi-set-in-stone second unit, with closely watched minutes and substitutions.

But that will come. For now, let's let Team Ghetto stretch its legs.

Sid Hartman Is Stoned

Yeah, you heard me.

Read

Okay, now don't get me wrong, I'd love to have Steph running the point for the Wolves again. Of course that would be assuming his head was smaller now, which it's not, and he would be willing to play within the system, which he probably wouldn't. So basically, that counts me out of Stephon coming here. Not to mention that he's said he would not want to play here again. Sure, he's said he would love to play with KG again, but clearly said NOT HERE. Starbury is a very talented player but what the casual basketball fan probably won't notice is that he hasn't won. Anywhere. Since leaving Minnesota he's been to the playoffs once. One time a team he was on was good enough to make it to the post season. That's not a very good track record. He's right there with Shareef Abdur-rahim in terms of team success.

I think Sid's a little too old to be giving his opinion on anything other than adult diapers, but of course, he's entertaining because of it.

Minnesota 102 Seattle 92

Finally, the Wolves beat a team that they should. It should’ve been a lot closer than it was though. The Sonics couldn’t buy a basket in the fourth quarter and Ray Allen looked exhausted. They showed him running back down the court of defense and he looked like maybe he wished he was somewhere else. The Sonics played the night before and have had a difficult season, so I can’t blame the man for being tired. Rashard Lewis didn’t get anything done last night either. He’s battling a nagging injury and was double teamed almost every time he touched the ball. KG and Ricky did their thing and that was enough for the Wolves to hold on, then eventually pull away with the win.

Thing I Saw

Passing – Marcus Banks, once again, showed us how good of a passer he can be, and how bad a decision maker he can be. Two silly fouls and a turnover, countered by a great dish to Ricky for a dunk. He picks Ridnour’s pocket, then botches a reverse dunk but gets his own rebound and makes a contested lay-up. A guy who’s passing has been overlooked this season is Trenton Hassell’s. He’s really become a solid passer – see ally-oop to KG late in the game. We know he can play defense and can score when needed, but he’s shown that he can be a reliable distributor as well. Luke Ridnour is a good point guard. He plays for a crappy team, which is too bad for him because I believe that on a better team, he eventually becomes an All Star. He’s not overly flashy, but he’s a smart player who gets his guys the ball where they want it. He needs to develop more of a jump shot, but he’s a classic pass-first point guard.

Ricky, Ricky, Ricky – He started the game 5 of 6 from the floor and scored 14 points. He then proceeded to miss his next 8 shots. He hit three of his last six to finish the game. Some call him a poor man’s Latrell Sprewell and with that we also get Spree’s streakiness. I love what Ricky brings to this team, most of the time. He’s still prone to taking some bad shots and has shown his Huddy-like ability to “heat check” at any given moment. He’s lead the team in scoring 5 of the 12 games he’s played for us and has had some good shooting nights and some bad ones. I guess we'll take the good with the bad.

We Want These Guys? – The two players that seem to keep coming up in the trade rumors that our coach apparently wants on his team, play for his old squad. Ronald “Flip” Murray and Reggie Evans. I’m not sure why we want either of these guys. Flip was 4 of 11, 9 points, 3 assists and 3 turnovers in 24 minutes. Not bad, but we have enough guys at that position that all he’d do would sit on the bench. Reggie Evans had 2 points and 3 rebounds in 4 minutes. Sure, he’s a banger, but I don’t see what he would do to help this team besides not play defense and take shots away from KG. Clearly, if he’s only playing 4 minutes a game, there’s something wrong. I know Seattle is a mess, but when they lack rebounding and inside presence and the guy who’s supposed to provide that isn’t hardly getting into the game, there’s got to be something else there.

You Don’t See That Every Day

The Wolves made 30 of 35 free throws. In two of their past three games they’ve shot 35+ free throws. The last time they shot 30 in a game prior to that was January 27 against Houston. They don’t shoot a lot of free throws in general, but the new guys have helped that a little bit, even if the officiating hasn’t helped them out at all.

Did you see AC last night? He made 2 3’s, which considering he’s usually shooting 50% for the rim, is pretty miraculous. He also had a tip dunk on a Ricky Davis missed lay-up. It was awesome. I’m watching and Ricky misses and then the ball gets dunked. I’m thinking it was KG or Hass, but no, it’s the little guy from Hawaii throwing it down on Rashard Lewis and Nick Collison. GIT SOME KID!!!

Maybe I’m the only one who didn’t know, but Seattle apparently signed Bizzy Bone from Bone Thugs N Harmony. Yeah, he wears 54 and plays power forward. Oh, that’s Chris Wilcox? He’s Bizzy Bone!? Oh, no, it’s not Bizzy Bone. Okay, well I’m glad we got that cleared up. Boy is his hair bad.

Long Winded and Repetitive, But That's Part Of My Charm

Rivalries

Well, we all know what I think about Steve Kerr. If you don't, then you haven't paid any attention to this blog. Just so you don't have to go digging for it, I think Steve Kerr is a complete moron. But sometimes, even a blind squirrel's gotta find a nut, right? Here's what he had to say about the Knicks in his Power Rankings this week.

If they can just trade for one more maximum salaried player who is well past his prime, they just might turn things around

Yes Steve, you got that one right. Of course that's assuming you're being sarcastic - if he isn't then I don't know what to say. We do nothing but talk about how horrible that franchise has been over the past, oh I don't know, how long has Isaiah been there? Yeah, about that long. But they actually started going down hill before that. Pat left, Allan broke, and Spree, well he didn't choke but...not there anyways. So since the departure of their Hall of Fame center, the Knicks have been searching for success. Sure, they did go to the Finals once, which is more than we can say about our team, but wow, at what cost? $100 million or so? I mean, you can't really put a price on a championship, but that's still pretty hefty. Especially just to fall short. By three games. It's understandable that when you lose one of the 50 Greatest Players, you're going to take a few steps backwards, unless you're the pre-90's Celtics - then you just replace one with another. So the Knicks dropped off. Jimmy Dolan attempted the Steinbrener approach but, more or less, went Mets with his team. Boy, that Subway Series was near though, wasn't it?

There is another event that coincides with the Knicks downfall towards the end of last century. Their nemesis went the way of the Dodo. Yeah, that's right. About the same time Jordan called it quits (I forget which time) the Knicks began their descent. Their team's most fierce rival was gone, and their hearts and souls followed suit. Oh sure, they had Reggie's Pacers to drive their hatred, which kept them afloat for a couple more seasons, but they certainly weren't MJ's Bulls. I remember those John Starks-Michael Jordan battles vividly, like when Starks went baseline and dunked on the whole Bulls team. Then, as MJ turned down the lights, one of Johnny's nuts died, and so did his career. In Utah. It was too bad because even though I was not a Bulls fan (see Reggie Miller) there were few players I despised as much as John Starks (Patrick Ewing. My hatred of Karl Malone had not yet blossomed). It's tought when someone you hate stops being a threat because where are you supposed to direct that hatred? I found a way, but it took me awhile.

Look at the Sacramento Kings. They had an intense rivalry with the Lakers for a number of years. We were privy to some great playoff battles, even if the Lakers did win every time. Of course, then Shaq gest traded, Phil Jackson leaves, and the dynasty is broken up. As soon as that happened, the Kings fell apart as well. Webber gets traded, then Peja, and both teams are crumbling pieces of their former selves, just like the Knicks and Bulls.

The Lakers-Celtics rivalry went down in similar fashion, as did the Celtics-Sixers in the 70's. It's an odd wat to look at it, but it really seems like every time a team's major rival goes down, so do they. Even looking at the Heat-Knicks towards the end of the Jordan era. The Heat went right down with the Knicks, even though that was only a short lived rivalry. With more time, one could probably come up with a few more examples.

Life As A Wolf

So, what do you expect to see next out of the Wolves? End the season with a worse record than the Hawks? At this point, after losing five of their last six to teams like Portland, Utah, NOOCH, and now Toronto, I wouldn't be surprised to see that happen too. Sure, the Raps are surging, but seriously, if you look at the rosters we should be taking them out to breakfast after fucking them so hard the night before. But, alas, they were the ones doing the fucking and we don't get any pancakes, let alone bacon.

Right now life as a wolf is rough. I'm having a very hard time watching this team play because they're so unbelievably inconsistent. They play great for an eight minute stretch, build a lead, then play horribly for the next 15 minutes, turning a 12 point lead into a seven point deficit. Then they'll play okay for 10 minutes, followed by a good streak for five. They'll pull even, or slightly ahead, then there they go again, off to a time where only bad basketball exists. They get kicked in the teeth of the last seven minutes, then it's over and there's another 'L' on the books.

The problem I'm having this season is trying to keep the negativity out, but it's been tough. I'm usually the most optimistic person I hang around with when it comes to this team, but even my patience is wearing thin. I love the guys on this team, I love the guy who sits in the first seat on the bench, and I have faith in the system they're operating in, but it's just not getting the results that it should. The team is missing some pieces, we all know that, but the core is there. Now, I'm not saying they're one or two moves from contending for a championship, but they aren't that far from getting back into the playoffs and competing. They've got a superstar, a second/third tier player, and a whole bench of role players who do what they have to, to help this team. Their point guard situation will work itself out...*cough*marcusbanks. and they still need some help in the middle defensively, but they're close.

The car is running, the engine has just been tuned up, and the wheels are full of air. They're a couple ball joints and a tranny away from getting back into the mix in the West.

God I hate NASCAR...

What I'd Like To See...Again...

Marcus Banks - Hes been getting an ample amount of playing time and has shown us what he's capable of - both good and bad. Overall I'm happy with how he's playing. He's still a young guy, so he's going to make some mistakes, but overall I think he's the type of point guard this squad needs. As he gets used to the system and used to consistent playing time, he'll improve and become more confident.

Marko Jaric - He's not a point guard, so he shouldn't be playing the position, but he should be getting minutes. I'd like to see Casey move him more towards the 2-guard spot, where we could take more advantage of his shooting off screens and making plays off the ball. He's a combo guard, whether he wants to admit it or not, and I think he'd be better used as a back up to Hass and Ricky. He's too talented to keep off the court, but he needs to play the right postion.

Rashad McCants - I like the fact that he's seeing a bit more playing time these days. I think he should see more. I know the season isn't totally lost, but with what Casey's doing now, they're not going anywhere anyways, so why not let this young man work through his learning pains in-game. He's a solid contributor on offense when he doesn't have to worry about getting pulled out of the game every time he makes a mistake. When he gets going, the Wolves look much better, so wny not suffer through his mistakes now, so he gets better sooner.

Finality....

This team really is, in my opinion, only a couple moves and a training camp away from being a competitive team in the Western Conference. They've taken a few steps backwards in the days of Yore (aka WCF), but they're not lost. Yet. The recovery will depend heavily on the decisions Kevin McHale and, maybe more importantly, Glen Taylor make for the rest of this season and into the offseason

UNCONTROLLED PSYCHOTIC LAUGHTER

HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

YOU LOSE TO TORONTO NOW!

YOU LOSE 4 STRAIGHT HOME GAMES!!!!

EVEN LAST YEAR WHEN YOU WEREN'T TRYING YOU DIDN'T LOOK THIS BAD!

EVEN LAST YEAR WHEN YOU WEREN'T FUN TO WATCH YOU WERE BETTER AND MADE ME HAPPIER!!!!

YOU LOSE TO UTAH AND TORONTO AND NEW ORLEANS AT HOME!!!!

IT'S VERY FUNNY, THESE BAD TEAMS THAT YOU LOSE TO. YOU WOULD LOSE TO ANYONE IN THE WORLD!

This Is My Second Day, I Got A Ten Year Stay. I Learned My First Lesson - In The Pen You Don't Play

Does anybody else feel like they are in prison?

It might be a better idea to change this thing to a food blog. At least that way, I could talk about Spanish wines and delicious curry dishes and avocado spring rolls, and not about the terrible terrible basketball team that plays downtown across from Block E.

No, no. That's not fair. It's just that I can't figure this out. I don't understand how they can be so bad. They aren't doing anything terrible in these games.... they just aren't winning. The biggest thing I see is a lack of consistency on the floor: no consistent shooting, no consistent penetration, no consistent defense, no consistent play-calling. Nothing. They do well in stretches, but they never maintain it.

And I don't even want to talk about that. Let's talk about the Gophers or something.

Oh, right. Well, two big wins over ranked teams doesn't pay the bills in March, jankos. Guess what? Iowa and Michigan have something to say to you, and it is "Life is hard".

So then, there's other things happening out there, right? We're not trapped by this team. The NBA is going off this year, and it's fun to follow.

First, Detroit and Miami went out there and banged around, but Dwyane Wade HAD SOMETHING TO SAY TO CHAUNCEY!!!! 17 STRAIGHT POINTS?!?!?! Back down, back down Detroit.

Miami has been hearing all year that they are pretenders in the East. And you know what, nothing can change Detroit being the hands-down favorite out there. But Miami can do something. They have Wade, and he changes games. This is not a prediction that they will contend for the title. But be aware. At any given time, that young man can start lowering booms and running through underbrush, so watch yourself.

In other news, New York is just absolutely terrible. I never thought watching New York basketball could be worse than watching them in 1995.... god did they muck the game up. However, compared to now, that was a ballet. There is not one player on the Knicks whose game I enjoy watching. You know how even though there are teams you hate (Denver), there are still guys who play the game right and are fun to watch (Andre Miller)? Well, not on New York. They're terrible and will continue to be terrible. Hell, even Toronto has a few dunkers. New York is just painful to watch.

March Madness looms on the dusty horizon, and it's going to be a hell of a ride. I'm seeing huge things this year, but I maintain that I have yet to see anything to sway me from the idea that Duke is the favorite. If I'm putting money down, I'm going with them for sure. I think Reddick and Shelden will be virtually unstoppable in crunch time. Of course, there will be monumental collapses too. Hey Cowboys, your coach get all ripped and bank it into another car, errrrrrrrrr? Hey Vols, you guys get some big wins and then flame out in the tourney, errrrrrrrrr?

Just remember, the payment always comes due, and your feet always grow bigger than the glass slipper.

So drink Guinness and try to forget that you are another year older. We never age in this world, because we're trapped. We make trades to acquire Team Ghetto, and then lose 3 straight home games. Oh well, pitchers and catchers report later this week.