Sure, we all saw this coming, but I can’t believe how bad the deal is. I know McHale was in charge, so it comes as a surprise to me that I can’t believe the deal is as bad as it is. We give up our franchise to get a loafy underachiever, a tweener role player, a guy who belongs in jail or Italy, an old broken guy, and Harold Miner 1.1.
What’s the deal with McHale trading for guys we could’ve drafted. We passed on Gerald Green two years ago, so what makes him worth it now? Is it because we’re not sure that the guy we did take is going to pan out? He's thinking about the Ebi/Howard choice and reacting to it. Because that’s always a good reason to reach for someone. We have Craig Smith and Corey Brewer, so what do we need Ryan Gomes for? That and it sounds like he has no interest in staying past next year. Great. Let’s get him! I understand that Ratliff has to be involved in the trade because of his contract, but what are we going to do with that extra $12 million, sign a free agent. Who’s going to want to play here now? And Sebastian Fucking Telfair!? I can’t even wrap my mind around the fact that he is going to be a member of my basketball team. Why would you take his terrible attitude and legal troubles back in this deal? Why is this not Rajon Rando? You have the leverage here Kevin, you’re holding the Big Ticket. Tell your buddy Danny to take Bassy and shove him up your ass – err, I mean, his ass. It's like I always here, don't do business with friends. McHale seems like he's playing slow pitch softball when he should be playing hardball. I don't care if the guy is your friend atleast try not to get fleeced every time you deal with him.
I seriously can’t think of a worse deal. I didn’t think it was possible. Hey, atleast we got the draft pick back that we should’ve never traded in the first place. Oh, and a pick that will probably fall somewhere in the 20’s. Great. I guess they never said the saying ‘some things never cease to amaze me’ isn’t always used in a positive way.
More to come when this becomes official. Right now, Wolves nation is on suicide watch. And the mob is rallying around the burning stake reserved for Deadzo’s corpse.
July 31, 2007
July 30, 2007
Scandalous, Money Greed and Lust, In This Trife Life, There Ain't Nobody You Can Trust
Here we sit again.
Do I even need to type anything at this point? I'm in the enemy's camp, as they celebrate around me. Their dreams are about to be realized. They have no idea what they are in for. An energy bolt is about to shoot through the Fleet Center like they have never seen. Banners could hang. Glory returned to the city of wind.
And back home, it's like bullets in the breeze.
I don't know how else to say this, I don't know what direction to go in, I can only say that my love for this franchise will die, my fanaticism will wink out like a ship's light in a storm. I'm not rational enough to explain what's going to happen. I'm not clear-headed enough to see this through to the logical conclusion.
I drop to sleep tonight deep behind enemy lines. By morning, this could be my favorite basketball town. We could see the arrival of the Kid who became the Man. I'm excited for them, I truly am.
I'm not going to ever give money to the Wolves as long as Deadzo is in charge, if this happens. I'm done supporting them until he leaves.
Luckily, I'm much younger than him. I can wait.
Do I even need to type anything at this point? I'm in the enemy's camp, as they celebrate around me. Their dreams are about to be realized. They have no idea what they are in for. An energy bolt is about to shoot through the Fleet Center like they have never seen. Banners could hang. Glory returned to the city of wind.
And back home, it's like bullets in the breeze.
I don't know how else to say this, I don't know what direction to go in, I can only say that my love for this franchise will die, my fanaticism will wink out like a ship's light in a storm. I'm not rational enough to explain what's going to happen. I'm not clear-headed enough to see this through to the logical conclusion.
I drop to sleep tonight deep behind enemy lines. By morning, this could be my favorite basketball town. We could see the arrival of the Kid who became the Man. I'm excited for them, I truly am.
I'm not going to ever give money to the Wolves as long as Deadzo is in charge, if this happens. I'm done supporting them until he leaves.
Luckily, I'm much younger than him. I can wait.
July 18, 2007
So....Here We Are, Huh?
This has been an interesting week for the Wolves and their fans. We got to see our young guys light it up in Vegas, going 4-1 for the week. Foye lived up to his reputation as the 2006 MVP in Vegas and Craig Smith showed us all why we fell in love with him last season by leading the team with 21.8 point per contest. Corey Brewer showed us why we drafted him, as well as why he wasn't a top-3 pick by grabbin 9.6 rebounds per game and shooting a morbid 28% from the floor. Chris Richard looks like another Craig Smith and McCants showed flashes of his potential to both shoot his team in and out of games.
Why is all that important to know? Because Glen Taylor has finally made a decision about the direction of his franchise for next year: They're going young.
I love it. I've been waiting for it since 2005. I spent all last season praying for it. Instead of slugs like Mike James, Troy Hudson, and Marko Jaric eating up minutes next to KG, the kids will get their shot at developing their skills. Sure, the record may stumble a bit, but it can't get much worse than last years 32 wins - we're not Atlanta for cripes sake. McCants, Foye, Smith, and Brewer will all be big parts of this team which is exciting.
And you know what? According to Glen Taylor, KG is okay with that, which is even more exciting.
So instead of Huddy and Marko crying about their rolls on the team, we'll have a bunch of fired up youngsters surrounding one of the top-10 talents in the NBA. If nothing else, we should see more fire and fight out of this squad this season and that is enough to get me excited about the Wolves.
Why is all that important to know? Because Glen Taylor has finally made a decision about the direction of his franchise for next year: They're going young.
I love it. I've been waiting for it since 2005. I spent all last season praying for it. Instead of slugs like Mike James, Troy Hudson, and Marko Jaric eating up minutes next to KG, the kids will get their shot at developing their skills. Sure, the record may stumble a bit, but it can't get much worse than last years 32 wins - we're not Atlanta for cripes sake. McCants, Foye, Smith, and Brewer will all be big parts of this team which is exciting.
And you know what? According to Glen Taylor, KG is okay with that, which is even more exciting.
So instead of Huddy and Marko crying about their rolls on the team, we'll have a bunch of fired up youngsters surrounding one of the top-10 talents in the NBA. If nothing else, we should see more fire and fight out of this squad this season and that is enough to get me excited about the Wolves.
July 15, 2007
Wolves/Griz NBA Summer League
I watched this game yesterday on NBA TV. Below are the notes I took during the first couple 10 minute quarters.
1st Quarter
8 seconds in, McCants defensive foul
Brewer almost with a rebound dunk put back
Brewer called spitting image of Chris Rock by announcers
Brewer can play
Foye with his second "3"
Chris Richard kind of still figuring it out
Foye with another "3"
Brewer with a block, Foye with a fast break lay-up
Wolves get ball back, Foye with a another "3"
I like Brewer, Foye, Smith
Transition game working very well
Ryan Bowen shooting free throws, I don't know him
Quarter ends with Wolves having 32 points
2nd Quarter
McCants just seems a step slow today
McCants hits a "3"
Cleeves in the game, he's all business, it is obvious he wants to get back to the NBA, badly
McCants with another "3", I would like to see better defense from him
Brewer leads fast break, nice pass to player streaking down the lane
GT Luke just might have a chance in this league to get a contract
Quarter ends
Recap
Did I mention I like this Brewer kid? Foye will be fun to watch. God, Smith is just big and cut and . . . good. Wolves will have a decent team, too bad they are in the Group of Death.
1st Quarter
8 seconds in, McCants defensive foul
Brewer almost with a rebound dunk put back
Brewer called spitting image of Chris Rock by announcers
Brewer can play
Foye with his second "3"
Chris Richard kind of still figuring it out
Foye with another "3"
Brewer with a block, Foye with a fast break lay-up
Wolves get ball back, Foye with a another "3"
I like Brewer, Foye, Smith
Transition game working very well
Ryan Bowen shooting free throws, I don't know him
Quarter ends with Wolves having 32 points
2nd Quarter
McCants just seems a step slow today
McCants hits a "3"
Cleeves in the game, he's all business, it is obvious he wants to get back to the NBA, badly
McCants with another "3", I would like to see better defense from him
Brewer leads fast break, nice pass to player streaking down the lane
GT Luke just might have a chance in this league to get a contract
Quarter ends
Recap
Did I mention I like this Brewer kid? Foye will be fun to watch. God, Smith is just big and cut and . . . good. Wolves will have a decent team, too bad they are in the Group of Death.
July 10, 2007
The Children of Summer
So the Wolves summer league season is under way and so far it’s looking pretty good. Of course they’ve only played one game. Against the Hornets. With the only notable player being their first round pick Julian Wright in uniform. These are games I wish I could watch, but I only have box scores and other people’s accounts of the actual games to go on. My analysis can’t be that good but I’ll share my thoughts on what I’ve read.
Wolves 85, Hornets 83 (OT)
First off I like winning, even if it’s basically pick-up games made up of teams of guys, most of whom will not be in the NBA in three months. I also like winning close games. Especially when there are youngsters neck deep in the waning moments of the game.
Corey Brewer won the game with a driving lay-up with 12 seconds left. That’s a sentence I really like to read for three reasons. First off, Corey Brewer is continuing his winning ways at the next level, never mind the lack-luster talent. Secondly, a Timberwolves player did not settle for a jump shot in the final seconds of a game. Lastly, Corey Brewer did something that scouts had previously proclaimed as a weakness: he took his man off the dribble. Now, I realize, that this was only one play, but it still is nice to read about because of the reasons listed above. I’m sure Brew will have some downs this summer but there’s no start like a good start.
Craig Smith played like a beast. 25 points and 7 rebounds. He did his damage by punishing the Hornets in the paint. HE SCORED NEAR THE BASKET!!! That’s also something the Wolves dearly need. Everyone knows he’s a stud but I think he will continue to grow this season, possibly into the physical banger KG needs beside him.
Chris Richard and Luke Schenscher did some damage of their own. I think the boys – I mean Fred Hoiberg – may have scored another second round gem in the mold of Craig Smith. They combined for 18 points and 15 rebounds while only taking 12 shots (converting 7 of them). I really like that kind of production while leaving plenty of shots for everyone else, ala Elton Brand back in his Bulls days.
Rashad McCants quite make a jump-shot, but he’ll come around. I hope. I can only assume his timing is still off from a busy offseason of rehab and that he’s putting a lot of pressure on himself to have a good summer because he feels like he has a lot to prove to the team. Once he settles down he’ll start making all those lovely jump-shots we all know he’s capable of making. He’s the only guy on the roster that can consistently put the ball in the hoop from 20 feet and out which would help unclog the paint for KG, Foye, and Brewer.
Don’t Make Such A Big Deal
I realize I just spent a page blathering about the summer league but the media really likes to take the results and spin them around. OH MY GOD GREG ODEN IS GOING UNDER THE KNIFE AND HE’S GOING TO DIE AND THE BLAZERS ARE GOING TO DIE AND DEATH AND DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!
Okay, so seriously? He’s having his tonsils out. It’s cool. He won’t die, I promise Charlie Walters, he’ll be fine. Not to mention how much they love to talk about how he and Durant haven’t “played up to par” yet. Really? They’re 19. They’ve spent the past 10 years beating up on guys that were half their size and 1/5 their talent. Now it’s just guys with ¼ their talent. Just because they aren’t putting up Wilt and Russell numbers after two games in the summer league doesn’t mean they’re developing slowly. It certainly took me more than two days to figure out I couldn’t come to work hung over like I did in college. It worked out for me.
They’ll be fine.
Wolves 85, Hornets 83 (OT)
First off I like winning, even if it’s basically pick-up games made up of teams of guys, most of whom will not be in the NBA in three months. I also like winning close games. Especially when there are youngsters neck deep in the waning moments of the game.
Corey Brewer won the game with a driving lay-up with 12 seconds left. That’s a sentence I really like to read for three reasons. First off, Corey Brewer is continuing his winning ways at the next level, never mind the lack-luster talent. Secondly, a Timberwolves player did not settle for a jump shot in the final seconds of a game. Lastly, Corey Brewer did something that scouts had previously proclaimed as a weakness: he took his man off the dribble. Now, I realize, that this was only one play, but it still is nice to read about because of the reasons listed above. I’m sure Brew will have some downs this summer but there’s no start like a good start.
Craig Smith played like a beast. 25 points and 7 rebounds. He did his damage by punishing the Hornets in the paint. HE SCORED NEAR THE BASKET!!! That’s also something the Wolves dearly need. Everyone knows he’s a stud but I think he will continue to grow this season, possibly into the physical banger KG needs beside him.
Chris Richard and Luke Schenscher did some damage of their own. I think the boys – I mean Fred Hoiberg – may have scored another second round gem in the mold of Craig Smith. They combined for 18 points and 15 rebounds while only taking 12 shots (converting 7 of them). I really like that kind of production while leaving plenty of shots for everyone else, ala Elton Brand back in his Bulls days.
Rashad McCants quite make a jump-shot, but he’ll come around. I hope. I can only assume his timing is still off from a busy offseason of rehab and that he’s putting a lot of pressure on himself to have a good summer because he feels like he has a lot to prove to the team. Once he settles down he’ll start making all those lovely jump-shots we all know he’s capable of making. He’s the only guy on the roster that can consistently put the ball in the hoop from 20 feet and out which would help unclog the paint for KG, Foye, and Brewer.
Don’t Make Such A Big Deal
I realize I just spent a page blathering about the summer league but the media really likes to take the results and spin them around. OH MY GOD GREG ODEN IS GOING UNDER THE KNIFE AND HE’S GOING TO DIE AND THE BLAZERS ARE GOING TO DIE AND DEATH AND DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!
Okay, so seriously? He’s having his tonsils out. It’s cool. He won’t die, I promise Charlie Walters, he’ll be fine. Not to mention how much they love to talk about how he and Durant haven’t “played up to par” yet. Really? They’re 19. They’ve spent the past 10 years beating up on guys that were half their size and 1/5 their talent. Now it’s just guys with ¼ their talent. Just because they aren’t putting up Wilt and Russell numbers after two games in the summer league doesn’t mean they’re developing slowly. It certainly took me more than two days to figure out I couldn’t come to work hung over like I did in college. It worked out for me.
They’ll be fine.
July 9, 2007
Business
The owner of the Timberwolves owns a business, not a basketball team. If there isn't a shake-up in the front office this year, I don't know when there will be one. Owner bought the team back in 94-95. According to Forbes in 2005, the franchise was worth 303 million. Not a bad return on investment for a 89 million dollar purchase. That is, unless you look at this chart. I read somewhere Forbes had the 2007 franchise at 308 million. Simple math puts that rate of return at less than one percent over the past two years. Not good business. Notice the nice pop from 03 to 04 for the Wolves.
I have to plead ignorance here. I do not know the ins and outs of revenue sharing and how NBA owners make money. Are ratings during the playoffs more important than your team winning? I honestly don't know.
I do see when Shaq went East and Lebron graduated to the NBA by looking at the charts. Coincidence, I honestly don't know. Maybe the NBA has plateau-ed in the good ol' US and A.
There is my logic for a change. Not bad drafts (or NO drafts), not bad trades (wait, they get Sam C. AND a draft pick), just business. That's all.
I go by Dickfer, but I have been referred to in previous blogs as Potsy and Dr. HotWings.
I have to plead ignorance here. I do not know the ins and outs of revenue sharing and how NBA owners make money. Are ratings during the playoffs more important than your team winning? I honestly don't know.
I do see when Shaq went East and Lebron graduated to the NBA by looking at the charts. Coincidence, I honestly don't know. Maybe the NBA has plateau-ed in the good ol' US and A.
There is my logic for a change. Not bad drafts (or NO drafts), not bad trades (wait, they get Sam C. AND a draft pick), just business. That's all.
I go by Dickfer, but I have been referred to in previous blogs as Potsy and Dr. HotWings.
July 5, 2007
I Heard Your Album And I Don't Believe A Word Of It
Corey Brewer somehow got into college - well, Florida, but still. I think I need to get that out up front, because here's his quote:
Ok, now we don't run a math blog here, but I think it's safe to say that two plus two is not quite 22.
The first interview I ever saw with Corey Brewer, he appeared to be high on weed. Not crazy high, just enough to make words come out of his mouth very slow and deliberately. It was like everything was monotone, and his eyes were obviously half-shut. My first reaction was that I didn't want someone like that on the Wolves, but then I saw some game footage of this year's tournament, and it looked like he plays pretty up-tempo, and can really shut down opponents on the wing. That's a good sign.
What the hell is the point of all of this? Nothing. It just leads into a few other items of note happening during this last week.
1. The Knicks Should Just See If Glenn Robinson Will Return Their Calls
Ok, do they have a single player on their team who isn't a volitale malcontent? I know that everyone is harping on this, but seriously. They add Zach Goddamned Randolph to a frontcourt of Eddy Curry and Jerome James. They dumped Steve Francis, but they've still got Stephon and Jamal Crawford clogging up the guard positions. When I called Mr. Szinewski on draft night, before I told him about the trade, I told him that the Knicks just made a trade, and to guess who that could be. I told him that he is the "perfect" guy for the Knicks, and he guessed Randolph in about 4 seconds. It's strange, because besides Artest, I cannot see another player going to the Knicks. I think they have all the clubhouse cancers in the entire NBA. Can we bring Jalen Rose out of retirement? Maybe Laettner is looking for work? There are other assholes out there who bring teams down (Telfair, Blount, Fortson), but there's really no other griping, non-trying superstar left for the Knicks to grab. Like Pokemon, they got em all!
2. Grant Hill Said He Wanted To Retire Last Year, So Naturally He Signs With The Suns/Spurs/Mavs
Whatever. He's old and broken, but he wants to play on a successful team (imagine that!), so he takes the easy route and signs for the quick fix. I was surprised at how cheap he came, but remember that Malone signed with the Lakers for 1.1 million, and Michael Finley went to the Spurs for what amounted to a bag of Piggin' Pork Rinds. How will he hold up in that always-in-motion offense? Well, I could throw on the purple and orange and average 15 points if Nash was feeding ME the rock every time down, so...
3. Seattle - WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
First of all, you just hired a bad coach. Don't be fooled. He's a bad coach. What, his days of taking Seton Hall to the sweet sixteen once every 4 years got you all lovey-dovey? Is it the rings with the Spurs, who also happen to employ THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER OF ALL TIME? Maybe it was that whole Spree thing, how you feel like Peej just got a raw deal because his superstar was suspended for an entire season. I would rather focus on the .452 winning percentage, and the 3-9 record in the playoffs. Anyone can be a good assistant, just look at Sidney Lowe.
Reaching beyond that though... the final decision came down to a choice between PJ and - wait for it - Dwane Casey. Ummmm..... never mind. Good call, Sonics!
It's obvious that Seattle is just rolling the dice on the whole thing right now, basically saying that their future lies in Kevin Durant's hands, and so they might as well start young and see if something clicks. I suppose that's just as good a method as anything else - hell it beats Cleveland's "WE'LL DO SO MANY DUMB MOVES SURROUNDING LEBRON THAT LEBRON WON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL ANYMORE" method. Or the Wolves "every single season we will start over and sign some goddamned piece of garbage for the mid-level exception and pretend that he's really good even though if he were really good he wouldn't have to sign the mid-level exception and everyone knows this including small children" method. I think it's funny whenever overweight sportswriters say that an NBA player is going to "mentor" a rookie, or he's going to "take him under his wing". Really? 95% of NBA players shower, dress, and go have dinner with their posse after a game and practice. The other 5% are Mark Madsen and Shane Battier. Honestly, and this isn't to start shit, but you think KG teaches Craig Smith post moves? You think he's out there like a dad feeding him the ball and tossing constant reinforcement? So with that said, I don't necessarily think they need to keep a veteran presence around to "bring the kid along", because - again - they tried that in Cleveland by having an old, dumb coach to bring LeBron along, and it didn't work because of his dumbness. Old isn't always better.
4. Bucks Seek Dialogue With Yi
That's an actual headline.
Ok, you just drafted a guy who obviously doesn't want to play for you. NORMALLY, I would be upset at the player at shout at him to suck it up and go play for the shitty team for 4 years and then sign a hog deal with the Bulls or something. But I guess I don't understand why Milwaukee drafted him in the first place. Let's put aside the fact that he should not be playing in the NBA, but rather in the CBA (Chair Basketball Association). In a draft this deep, does anyone think there is going to be a huge seperation between picks 4-8? Obviously the top two were locks, and the third was pretty set in stone too. Do you think you get something from Yi that you wouldn't get from Noah? Or Conley? All of the players drafted in that area are going to be quality players who can help struggling teams. With that in mind, why not just play darts, and let Yi fall to Chicago? Or Philadelphia? Or - wait, he said he wanted to play in a city with a lot of Chinese people? Well Yi, you picked the wrong year to enter the draft. Anyway, I think it's funny that they're stepping really lightly around this issue, and politely asking Yi for a nice little face to face chat... WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DRAFT SOMEONE ELSE? DIDN'T YOU KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?
5. They gave Fred Hoiberg's number away
Nothing to say there, just a comment. It makes me sad. Fred should still wear his jersey even when he works in his office.
6. I Think Kevin McHale Should Just Stop Talking Out Loud
What a debacle the KG almost-trade was. The entire blame rests on Deadzo's shoulders - as usual. In what could've been a normal run-up to the draft, with normal analysis and normal trade speculation, he had to go fuck up no less than three potential trades, watch them plastered all over the front pages of every single sports website, and paralyze an entire fan base with utter fear. And then nothing happens. Do you have any idea the thoughts that flew through my head during that 72 hour stint? I completely ran the spectrum: from "I'll never cheer for, follow, or talk about the Timberwolves ever again if they trade KG" to "It's over, I need to get ready for the Al Jefferson era" to "Amare? Interesting..." to "Wait a minute, McHale even fucked up his fuck-up?" to "Wow, why do I even bother listening to him?".
I don't know how to accurately describe my frustration with Deadzo in regards to almost every single decision he has made in the past few years (let's remember that this year's draft was a success because Mr. Hoiberg was calling the shots), so I'll just link you to this page:
Laker Jim's Anti-Kevin McHale Page
On if he’s thought about what number he’ll wear in the NBA, since #2 (his college number) is retired in Minnesota (Malik Sealy) :
I was hurt when I saw that number two was retired, but I guess I’m going to wear number 22 -- two plus two!
Ok, now we don't run a math blog here, but I think it's safe to say that two plus two is not quite 22.
The first interview I ever saw with Corey Brewer, he appeared to be high on weed. Not crazy high, just enough to make words come out of his mouth very slow and deliberately. It was like everything was monotone, and his eyes were obviously half-shut. My first reaction was that I didn't want someone like that on the Wolves, but then I saw some game footage of this year's tournament, and it looked like he plays pretty up-tempo, and can really shut down opponents on the wing. That's a good sign.
What the hell is the point of all of this? Nothing. It just leads into a few other items of note happening during this last week.
1. The Knicks Should Just See If Glenn Robinson Will Return Their Calls
Ok, do they have a single player on their team who isn't a volitale malcontent? I know that everyone is harping on this, but seriously. They add Zach Goddamned Randolph to a frontcourt of Eddy Curry and Jerome James. They dumped Steve Francis, but they've still got Stephon and Jamal Crawford clogging up the guard positions. When I called Mr. Szinewski on draft night, before I told him about the trade, I told him that the Knicks just made a trade, and to guess who that could be. I told him that he is the "perfect" guy for the Knicks, and he guessed Randolph in about 4 seconds. It's strange, because besides Artest, I cannot see another player going to the Knicks. I think they have all the clubhouse cancers in the entire NBA. Can we bring Jalen Rose out of retirement? Maybe Laettner is looking for work? There are other assholes out there who bring teams down (Telfair, Blount, Fortson), but there's really no other griping, non-trying superstar left for the Knicks to grab. Like Pokemon, they got em all!
2. Grant Hill Said He Wanted To Retire Last Year, So Naturally He Signs With The Suns/Spurs/Mavs
Whatever. He's old and broken, but he wants to play on a successful team (imagine that!), so he takes the easy route and signs for the quick fix. I was surprised at how cheap he came, but remember that Malone signed with the Lakers for 1.1 million, and Michael Finley went to the Spurs for what amounted to a bag of Piggin' Pork Rinds. How will he hold up in that always-in-motion offense? Well, I could throw on the purple and orange and average 15 points if Nash was feeding ME the rock every time down, so...
3. Seattle - WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
First of all, you just hired a bad coach. Don't be fooled. He's a bad coach. What, his days of taking Seton Hall to the sweet sixteen once every 4 years got you all lovey-dovey? Is it the rings with the Spurs, who also happen to employ THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER OF ALL TIME? Maybe it was that whole Spree thing, how you feel like Peej just got a raw deal because his superstar was suspended for an entire season. I would rather focus on the .452 winning percentage, and the 3-9 record in the playoffs. Anyone can be a good assistant, just look at Sidney Lowe.
Reaching beyond that though... the final decision came down to a choice between PJ and - wait for it - Dwane Casey. Ummmm..... never mind. Good call, Sonics!
It's obvious that Seattle is just rolling the dice on the whole thing right now, basically saying that their future lies in Kevin Durant's hands, and so they might as well start young and see if something clicks. I suppose that's just as good a method as anything else - hell it beats Cleveland's "WE'LL DO SO MANY DUMB MOVES SURROUNDING LEBRON THAT LEBRON WON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL ANYMORE" method. Or the Wolves "every single season we will start over and sign some goddamned piece of garbage for the mid-level exception and pretend that he's really good even though if he were really good he wouldn't have to sign the mid-level exception and everyone knows this including small children" method. I think it's funny whenever overweight sportswriters say that an NBA player is going to "mentor" a rookie, or he's going to "take him under his wing". Really? 95% of NBA players shower, dress, and go have dinner with their posse after a game and practice. The other 5% are Mark Madsen and Shane Battier. Honestly, and this isn't to start shit, but you think KG teaches Craig Smith post moves? You think he's out there like a dad feeding him the ball and tossing constant reinforcement? So with that said, I don't necessarily think they need to keep a veteran presence around to "bring the kid along", because - again - they tried that in Cleveland by having an old, dumb coach to bring LeBron along, and it didn't work because of his dumbness. Old isn't always better.
4. Bucks Seek Dialogue With Yi
That's an actual headline.
Ok, you just drafted a guy who obviously doesn't want to play for you. NORMALLY, I would be upset at the player at shout at him to suck it up and go play for the shitty team for 4 years and then sign a hog deal with the Bulls or something. But I guess I don't understand why Milwaukee drafted him in the first place. Let's put aside the fact that he should not be playing in the NBA, but rather in the CBA (Chair Basketball Association). In a draft this deep, does anyone think there is going to be a huge seperation between picks 4-8? Obviously the top two were locks, and the third was pretty set in stone too. Do you think you get something from Yi that you wouldn't get from Noah? Or Conley? All of the players drafted in that area are going to be quality players who can help struggling teams. With that in mind, why not just play darts, and let Yi fall to Chicago? Or Philadelphia? Or - wait, he said he wanted to play in a city with a lot of Chinese people? Well Yi, you picked the wrong year to enter the draft. Anyway, I think it's funny that they're stepping really lightly around this issue, and politely asking Yi for a nice little face to face chat... WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DRAFT SOMEONE ELSE? DIDN'T YOU KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?
5. They gave Fred Hoiberg's number away
Nothing to say there, just a comment. It makes me sad. Fred should still wear his jersey even when he works in his office.
6. I Think Kevin McHale Should Just Stop Talking Out Loud
What a debacle the KG almost-trade was. The entire blame rests on Deadzo's shoulders - as usual. In what could've been a normal run-up to the draft, with normal analysis and normal trade speculation, he had to go fuck up no less than three potential trades, watch them plastered all over the front pages of every single sports website, and paralyze an entire fan base with utter fear. And then nothing happens. Do you have any idea the thoughts that flew through my head during that 72 hour stint? I completely ran the spectrum: from "I'll never cheer for, follow, or talk about the Timberwolves ever again if they trade KG" to "It's over, I need to get ready for the Al Jefferson era" to "Amare? Interesting..." to "Wait a minute, McHale even fucked up his fuck-up?" to "Wow, why do I even bother listening to him?".
I don't know how to accurately describe my frustration with Deadzo in regards to almost every single decision he has made in the past few years (let's remember that this year's draft was a success because Mr. Hoiberg was calling the shots), so I'll just link you to this page:
Laker Jim's Anti-Kevin McHale Page
June 29, 2007
2007 NBA Draft: Cheers and Jeers
I always try to tell myself to calm down this time of year, but it never works. I get so caught up in the frantic speculation and possible potential surrounding the next generation of NBA players. Who’s going where, how they’ll affect their new team, and who’s getting traded or passed up! Which late first-round, early second-round pick is going to be the next Spree or Redd or Manu? Which lottery pick is going to be a total flop – God Milwaukee you’d better pray, a lot. Sorry, getting ahead of myself. Some teams did some good things, other some bad, and I’m here to tell you what I think about it all.
Cheers to the Portland Trailblazers for…
...drafting Greg Oden over Kevin Durant. I know that Durant was sort of the flashy pick, but Oden will be a defensive stalwart for the next decade and a half, at worst. At best you’ve got the next dominant big man in the mold of Russell, Wilt, and Kareem. Durant will be great, but not as great as Oden.
...dumping Zach Randolph. I can’t say enough about how this will affect your team. I know you’re giving up a 20-10 guy but you’re also getting rid of the last of the Jailblazers – we don’t even count Miles anymore because he won’t play again. Sure you’ve taken on Steve Francis but rumor has it they’re going to buy him out so he can’t sink their newly rebuilt franchise. Jack, Roy, Aldrige, and Oden will be able to blossom without possible infection from a cancer who won’t play defense, or stay out of the gentlemen’s clubs.
Cheers to the New York Knicks for…
...swapping Francis for Randolph. You dump a guy who whines and cries because he doesn’t get to be the alpha dog, thus not playing with any balls and you get a guy who at least tries hard on one end of the floor. Sure he’s a headache, but it’s not like he’s more of a headache than their GM. And again, at least he tries on one end of the floor.
Jeers to the Boston Celtics for…
...trading away your Paul Pierce replacement for a worn down Ray Allen. I love Ray Allen, I truly do, but what is he going to do for the Celts? He’s a smaller version of Paul Pierce with a better jumper. Allen will also take away minutes from Gerald Green who, given a chance to play, should develop into a very solid player. It just seems like they’re trying to trick Pierce into thinking they’re trying to build a winner. I also never thought I’d hear anyone compare the Celtics to the Clippers of yore.
Cheers to the Boston Celtics for…
...getting rid of Wally Szczerbiak. Again, I like Wally World, but he was $11 million a year in foot and knee problems that was no good next to Pierce – think Glenn Robinson next to AI a few years back.
Jeers to the Milwaukee Bucks for…
...taking Yi Jianlian. His people said he wouldn’t play there. No one knows how old he really is. He didn’t work out against anyone – that chair played tight D though! And yet, they felt that he was worth the risk. I hope for their sake that he’s better than advertised, but I just can’t help but seeing another Wang Zhi Zhi in him. That’s of course if they can sign him. I’m just glad my team didn’t get a chance to draft him. No Kevin, don’t trade for him.
Cheers to the Minnesota Timberwolves for …
...not trading KG. See previous Chief post for explanation
...drafting Corey Brewer and Chris Richard. I love Corey Brewer, I can’t say it enough. He’s everything the Wolves need – big time player who should be ready to defend at the NBA level immediately, who plays with heart, he’s a winner, and it sounds as though he’s truly happy to be here. I don’t totally understand the Richard pick because he’s much like Craig Smith, but I like the pick from a talent standpoint. He’s a big, gritty defender who played four years off the bench for a great Florida team.
...not drafting Noah or Hawes. I hate Noah and his annoying attitude – mostly because at the regionals all I heard was the stupid Florida fight song and he was the face of the team. He’ll be a good player for a number of years in the league, but I can’t help but see a more skilled version of Mark Madsen. I do like the way he plays the game – tons of heart and he never stops – but I just don’t have faith that he’ll end up being worthy of the 7th pick. And Hawes, I see Felton Spencer, Luc Longley, Paul Grant, etc, etc. The Wolves have never had any luck drafting bigs, not to mention that he only played one season at Washington and he was up and down all year. I love Fred Hoiberg.
Not Sure What To Think…
...about Seattle’s draft. KD will be a stud and clearing Ray Allen’s contract was a good idea – presumably it will allow them to resign Rashard Lewis. Besides having to take on Wally World’s contract and health issues, they drafted Jeff Green whom I love as a player but he’s a small forward. Just like Durant. Just like Lewis. Of course that’s assuming that they keep Lewis. It should be an interesting situation to watch
...about the Charlotte – Golden State trade. I like Charlotte’s end of the deal a lot. Jason Richardson will sell tickets and give them a go-to scorer while replacing Gerald Wallace if they can’t resign him. J-Rich is not a very good defender but Emeka Okafor can bail him out better than anything he had in G-State. I realize that this was mostly a salary dump for the Warriors but after the way he played in the playoffs he finally showed how dominant he can be, especially in clutch situations. I like Brandan Wright, but he looks a lot like all the other lanky combo-forwards they have on that roster.
Next up is summer league. It’s like the NBA season is right around the corner. For now though, here’s praying KG remains on my team.
Cheers to the Portland Trailblazers for…
...drafting Greg Oden over Kevin Durant. I know that Durant was sort of the flashy pick, but Oden will be a defensive stalwart for the next decade and a half, at worst. At best you’ve got the next dominant big man in the mold of Russell, Wilt, and Kareem. Durant will be great, but not as great as Oden.
...dumping Zach Randolph. I can’t say enough about how this will affect your team. I know you’re giving up a 20-10 guy but you’re also getting rid of the last of the Jailblazers – we don’t even count Miles anymore because he won’t play again. Sure you’ve taken on Steve Francis but rumor has it they’re going to buy him out so he can’t sink their newly rebuilt franchise. Jack, Roy, Aldrige, and Oden will be able to blossom without possible infection from a cancer who won’t play defense, or stay out of the gentlemen’s clubs.
Cheers to the New York Knicks for…
...swapping Francis for Randolph. You dump a guy who whines and cries because he doesn’t get to be the alpha dog, thus not playing with any balls and you get a guy who at least tries hard on one end of the floor. Sure he’s a headache, but it’s not like he’s more of a headache than their GM. And again, at least he tries on one end of the floor.
Jeers to the Boston Celtics for…
...trading away your Paul Pierce replacement for a worn down Ray Allen. I love Ray Allen, I truly do, but what is he going to do for the Celts? He’s a smaller version of Paul Pierce with a better jumper. Allen will also take away minutes from Gerald Green who, given a chance to play, should develop into a very solid player. It just seems like they’re trying to trick Pierce into thinking they’re trying to build a winner. I also never thought I’d hear anyone compare the Celtics to the Clippers of yore.
Cheers to the Boston Celtics for…
...getting rid of Wally Szczerbiak. Again, I like Wally World, but he was $11 million a year in foot and knee problems that was no good next to Pierce – think Glenn Robinson next to AI a few years back.
Jeers to the Milwaukee Bucks for…
...taking Yi Jianlian. His people said he wouldn’t play there. No one knows how old he really is. He didn’t work out against anyone – that chair played tight D though! And yet, they felt that he was worth the risk. I hope for their sake that he’s better than advertised, but I just can’t help but seeing another Wang Zhi Zhi in him. That’s of course if they can sign him. I’m just glad my team didn’t get a chance to draft him. No Kevin, don’t trade for him.
Cheers to the Minnesota Timberwolves for …
...not trading KG. See previous Chief post for explanation
...drafting Corey Brewer and Chris Richard. I love Corey Brewer, I can’t say it enough. He’s everything the Wolves need – big time player who should be ready to defend at the NBA level immediately, who plays with heart, he’s a winner, and it sounds as though he’s truly happy to be here. I don’t totally understand the Richard pick because he’s much like Craig Smith, but I like the pick from a talent standpoint. He’s a big, gritty defender who played four years off the bench for a great Florida team.
...not drafting Noah or Hawes. I hate Noah and his annoying attitude – mostly because at the regionals all I heard was the stupid Florida fight song and he was the face of the team. He’ll be a good player for a number of years in the league, but I can’t help but see a more skilled version of Mark Madsen. I do like the way he plays the game – tons of heart and he never stops – but I just don’t have faith that he’ll end up being worthy of the 7th pick. And Hawes, I see Felton Spencer, Luc Longley, Paul Grant, etc, etc. The Wolves have never had any luck drafting bigs, not to mention that he only played one season at Washington and he was up and down all year. I love Fred Hoiberg.
Not Sure What To Think…
...about Seattle’s draft. KD will be a stud and clearing Ray Allen’s contract was a good idea – presumably it will allow them to resign Rashard Lewis. Besides having to take on Wally World’s contract and health issues, they drafted Jeff Green whom I love as a player but he’s a small forward. Just like Durant. Just like Lewis. Of course that’s assuming that they keep Lewis. It should be an interesting situation to watch
...about the Charlotte – Golden State trade. I like Charlotte’s end of the deal a lot. Jason Richardson will sell tickets and give them a go-to scorer while replacing Gerald Wallace if they can’t resign him. J-Rich is not a very good defender but Emeka Okafor can bail him out better than anything he had in G-State. I realize that this was mostly a salary dump for the Warriors but after the way he played in the playoffs he finally showed how dominant he can be, especially in clutch situations. I like Brandan Wright, but he looks a lot like all the other lanky combo-forwards they have on that roster.
Next up is summer league. It’s like the NBA season is right around the corner. For now though, here’s praying KG remains on my team.
I Can Finally Stop Holding My Breath
1. Kevin Garnett is still on my team so I don't have to worry about crying in front of my friends.
2. We didn't draft Joakim Noah. Or Spencer Hawes. Or Yi Jianlian.
Right now life is good for Timberwolves fans, comparatively anyways. We still have the most efficient player in the league on our team, we didn't draft Mark Madsen 2.0, Felton Spencer 7.0, or Wang Zhi Zhi 1.1, and Mike James is no longer on our team. I haven't completely exhaled on the KG trade speculation, but it's looking less likely now that the draft is over.
More to follow...
2. We didn't draft Joakim Noah. Or Spencer Hawes. Or Yi Jianlian.
Right now life is good for Timberwolves fans, comparatively anyways. We still have the most efficient player in the league on our team, we didn't draft Mark Madsen 2.0, Felton Spencer 7.0, or Wang Zhi Zhi 1.1, and Mike James is no longer on our team. I haven't completely exhaled on the KG trade speculation, but it's looking less likely now that the draft is over.
More to follow...
Rappers Make Bucks And I Can Hear It, Hard To Fear It, Cause I Know You Grew Up On My Lyrics
Throw the draft analysis out the window for now. It's time to make a statement.
KEVIN GARNETT IS NOT THE PROBLEM
What kind of world do we live in where people can talk about trading him away and building for the future, quick to bring up all of his perceived "faults". He can't score in the fourth quarter. He can't take over games. He can't defend the low post.
BITCH.
PLEASE.
Tim Duncan's got hella rings, and this isn't an out and out comparison, but have you seen these stats?
Duncan: 21.8 PPG 11.9 RPG
KG: 20.5 PPG 11.4 RPG
Let's see, KG has been one of the best rebounders in the NBA for a long time. He's been able to create his own shot, and execute it well for a long time. He's been named to the all-defensive team EIGHT times. He's been to the All-Star game TEN TEN TEN TEN years in a row.
KEVIN GARNETT IS NOT THE PROBLEM
You don't fix this team by trading him. You fix this team by giving him complementary players, guys that feed off of what KG brings to the floor. He's the most talented PF in the NBA. Yeah. He's the most intense maybe in NBA history. You don't dump guys like this for contract relief, or for future picks, or for anything. Do you know how many teams in the NBA would kill a member of their front office just to sniff KG for 4 months? Just to have that insane level of consistency? "Hi, my name is Kevin, and I'll just get 20 and 10 EVERY SINGLE NIGHT."
KEVIN GARNETT IS NOT THE PROBLEM
I'm absolutely livid right now at all of the trade talk. I can't believe what has happened with this team in the last month. I really thought Deadzo was going to pull the trigger and make me give up on this team. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm back with a vengeance.
Here's the thing for anyone out there who thinks about trading KG. Who is possibly going to replace his rebounding and defense? Is there another player in the NBA or NCAA who can even come close to matching his production? If you trade KG, you lose one of the best rebounders in the league, and on a team that already is near the bottom in rebounding. Craig Smith is very nice and all, but I think that I'm taller than him. Mark Madsen is... well, you know. Eddie Griffin is currently checking out the room behind the curtain at Video Biz. There's not anyone else who can even come close to that sort of production on the boards.
No matter what we would get back for Garnett, it would NEVER equal what we have. Isn't that the basic rule of a trade? Try to get better, either right away or in the future? Shouldn't every single trade be evaluated using that criteria? Then tell me what happens when you trade one of the best players in the NBA? Do you get back one of the best players in the NBA, or someone that COULD BECOME one of the best players in the NBA? No? THEN WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD YOU DO THAT TRADE?!?!?!?!? Oh, because KG's a free agent after this year. Oh, right. Sure. That's good justification.
He's not old, he's not broken, he's not on the down-swing. His injury problems in the last two years have been cop-outs by coaches to save him from the embarrassment of intentionally losing games to get higher draft picks. He's still one of the most consistent players in the league, and that's not changing.
KEVIN GARNETT IS NOT THE PROBLEM
There. Now that this little shit storm has passed, let's get back to making this team better.
------------------------------------------
Oh, and:
KEVIN GARNETT IS NOT THE PROBLEM
What kind of world do we live in where people can talk about trading him away and building for the future, quick to bring up all of his perceived "faults". He can't score in the fourth quarter. He can't take over games. He can't defend the low post.
BITCH.
PLEASE.
Tim Duncan's got hella rings, and this isn't an out and out comparison, but have you seen these stats?
Duncan: 21.8 PPG 11.9 RPG
KG: 20.5 PPG 11.4 RPG
Let's see, KG has been one of the best rebounders in the NBA for a long time. He's been able to create his own shot, and execute it well for a long time. He's been named to the all-defensive team EIGHT times. He's been to the All-Star game TEN TEN TEN TEN years in a row.
KEVIN GARNETT IS NOT THE PROBLEM
You don't fix this team by trading him. You fix this team by giving him complementary players, guys that feed off of what KG brings to the floor. He's the most talented PF in the NBA. Yeah. He's the most intense maybe in NBA history. You don't dump guys like this for contract relief, or for future picks, or for anything. Do you know how many teams in the NBA would kill a member of their front office just to sniff KG for 4 months? Just to have that insane level of consistency? "Hi, my name is Kevin, and I'll just get 20 and 10 EVERY SINGLE NIGHT."
KEVIN GARNETT IS NOT THE PROBLEM
I'm absolutely livid right now at all of the trade talk. I can't believe what has happened with this team in the last month. I really thought Deadzo was going to pull the trigger and make me give up on this team. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm back with a vengeance.
Here's the thing for anyone out there who thinks about trading KG. Who is possibly going to replace his rebounding and defense? Is there another player in the NBA or NCAA who can even come close to matching his production? If you trade KG, you lose one of the best rebounders in the league, and on a team that already is near the bottom in rebounding. Craig Smith is very nice and all, but I think that I'm taller than him. Mark Madsen is... well, you know. Eddie Griffin is currently checking out the room behind the curtain at Video Biz. There's not anyone else who can even come close to that sort of production on the boards.
No matter what we would get back for Garnett, it would NEVER equal what we have. Isn't that the basic rule of a trade? Try to get better, either right away or in the future? Shouldn't every single trade be evaluated using that criteria? Then tell me what happens when you trade one of the best players in the NBA? Do you get back one of the best players in the NBA, or someone that COULD BECOME one of the best players in the NBA? No? THEN WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD YOU DO THAT TRADE?!?!?!?!? Oh, because KG's a free agent after this year. Oh, right. Sure. That's good justification.
He's not old, he's not broken, he's not on the down-swing. His injury problems in the last two years have been cop-outs by coaches to save him from the embarrassment of intentionally losing games to get higher draft picks. He's still one of the most consistent players in the league, and that's not changing.
KEVIN GARNETT IS NOT THE PROBLEM
There. Now that this little shit storm has passed, let's get back to making this team better.
------------------------------------------
Oh, and:
June 25, 2007
The End is Nigh (and nobody's celebratin')
This is it. It's heated up to a sufficient level, and it seems foregone. I've had my head in the sand for too long, but when it breaks on the cover of ESPN, it's time to face up to it.
Every terrible decision has led us to this. Every failure in management of this franchise in the last 10 years has led directly to right now. This is where a young Skywalker takes up the saber and gives in to his destiny. This is the inevitable conclusion, the black hole of predictability. This is how dreams die - not bursting all at once in a dramatic revelation, but fading in the elements, until you can't remember the dream at all. A dark gray, fading so slowly to black that you don't realize.
My favorite basketball player of all time - and really, it's not even fucking CLOSE - is about to be traded away from my team.
And this blog will cease when it happens.
Take up whatever you find holy, hold it close, pray for relief. It won't come, not fully, but perhaps we'll see the morning together.
McHale, you did this. All of it. You wrecked the man's career. You wrecked our experience as fans. You failed completely. Tonight, you celebrate.
Every terrible decision has led us to this. Every failure in management of this franchise in the last 10 years has led directly to right now. This is where a young Skywalker takes up the saber and gives in to his destiny. This is the inevitable conclusion, the black hole of predictability. This is how dreams die - not bursting all at once in a dramatic revelation, but fading in the elements, until you can't remember the dream at all. A dark gray, fading so slowly to black that you don't realize.
My favorite basketball player of all time - and really, it's not even fucking CLOSE - is about to be traded away from my team.
And this blog will cease when it happens.
Take up whatever you find holy, hold it close, pray for relief. It won't come, not fully, but perhaps we'll see the morning together.
McHale, you did this. All of it. You wrecked the man's career. You wrecked our experience as fans. You failed completely. Tonight, you celebrate.
June 19, 2007
"The definition of winning has become distorted."
I must be in the minority. Maybe my head is stuck in the past. Whatever the reason, when I turn on sports channels, you'd think I'd see a game of some kind. As a sports fan, I enjoy sports. Doesn't really matter what (figure skating, you can have). Sadly, the recent years have given way to what I call "Talk Radio TV." The news channels were the first to go this route, and sports channels were the second. So, why does that fact get mentioned here?
OHMYGODNBAFINALSRATINGSARESOLOWNOONECARESBORINGGAMES
As much as I've never understood the general public's obsession on TV ratings, it's these large hogs' connection that low ratings = bad games. Boring doesn't come into their equation. Neither does the possibility of good games sitting unwatched. This can be pleasantly surprising on occasion: this spring, a Wisconsin/Ohio State game on a Sunday afternoon on CBS was their highest in 3 years. The game, a down-to-the-buzzer contest, was a great game. When the ratings were in, I was happy to see basketball fans found the game. But, just like when a favorite show gets cancelled as no one else watches, it's frustrating.
For me, it's the constant inaccuracies I hear, see, and read. As a member of this profession, the following things need to be said.
1) Before we get into WHY the finals were so ignored, many comparisons were made to the swanky 1981 finals (Boston and Houston). Mind you, we had 4 games on tape delay, starting after the late local news in over HALF the viewing public. So, the 2007 finals rated lower than games that ALREADY HAPPENED shown at MIDNIGHT. Hell, games 3 and 4 were back to back on the weekend because the league could get some live games in because...
1a) The NBA was in a serious ratings funk...one that is getting very close to mirroring today. When a show airs in primetime, it has to be scheduled ahead of time like anything else. So, ensuring that games won't be played on weekend afternoons or weekend nights, Mr. Stern extends the season (and games in the playoff series) to absurd lengths. Did you know, if this were still going on, we'd be at game 6 tonight? With general ratings lower, it would make sense for a network to want the finals outside of the season. Is the solution to end the season sooner and take what you can get knowing you're bombing in primetime?
2) The great teams, when they're in the same conference, happens in cycles. When I was in high school (getting further and further away) the Eastern Conference was considered so dominant that some thought the playoffs should be changed to seed the best 16 teams, regardless of what conference. And now here we are, with the exact opposite happening. Same shit happens in the NFL. It ebbs and flows. But, just as a Texas Leaguer to right is scored the same as a screamer down the line, a 114-112 win is the same as 81-80.
3) Sadly, the league is at the mercy of the two teams within the finals. San Antonio seemed intent on playing the East Conference style of basketball, to no one's delight. Cleveland, who, in the East Finals had problems placing a tea bag into a cup, didn't bring much. And so many were ready to crown James...that he arrived...that he was READY for the finals. Well, physically, yeah. But as a Television draw, it's a big NO. Magic & Bird & Dr. J (among others)...it took them years to drag things up. Jordan? It was 6 seasons until his first title season, as his star level grew and grew. If the league is going to hang its hat on star players (instead of teams themselves) they have to live with it.
4) NBC, as their contract was ending, could see that things were going to fade. Their offer was lower than the previous, and Stern was not pleased, claiming that it would have been the first time a pro sports league's rights would have gone down contract to contract (not true...even for the NBA). ABC/ESPN/TNT said yes, which lead NBC Sports "head" Dick Ebersol to say:
"If winning the rights to a property brings with it hundreds of millions of dollars in losses, what have you won? When faced with the prospect of heavy financial losses, we have consistently walked away and have done so again."
(Editors note: You could ask Ebersol the same question about Sunday Night Football. Violating his own rule would lead to some interesting answers. Then again, he does the Olympics for NBC, and according to him, it's still 1976 in TV Land so...whatever.)
5) If ABC, and specifically ESPN is smart, wholesale changes need to be made for coverage of the league and games. Promotion needs to change to strictly stars that could be in the finals as the weeks lead up to it. The league may have to live with weekend afternoon playoff games again. And the NBA itself could do a little more to showcase their stars. I won't get into who that should be...I'll leave it to others. But I'm sure in your mind you can think of some that get regular work in ads for products more than NBA promotion. Just because Kobe isn't someone McDonald's want to use for selling their garbage, doesn't mean KG can't do an ad for Toyota or whatever.
There's acting and reacting...and if Stern continues to go the way of Gary Bettman and claim all is well at the top of the ship while the rest begins to go toward the water...it will be ugly.
OHMYGODNBAFINALSRATINGSARESOLOWNOONECARESBORINGGAMES
As much as I've never understood the general public's obsession on TV ratings, it's these large hogs' connection that low ratings = bad games. Boring doesn't come into their equation. Neither does the possibility of good games sitting unwatched. This can be pleasantly surprising on occasion: this spring, a Wisconsin/Ohio State game on a Sunday afternoon on CBS was their highest in 3 years. The game, a down-to-the-buzzer contest, was a great game. When the ratings were in, I was happy to see basketball fans found the game. But, just like when a favorite show gets cancelled as no one else watches, it's frustrating.
For me, it's the constant inaccuracies I hear, see, and read. As a member of this profession, the following things need to be said.
1) Before we get into WHY the finals were so ignored, many comparisons were made to the swanky 1981 finals (Boston and Houston). Mind you, we had 4 games on tape delay, starting after the late local news in over HALF the viewing public. So, the 2007 finals rated lower than games that ALREADY HAPPENED shown at MIDNIGHT. Hell, games 3 and 4 were back to back on the weekend because the league could get some live games in because...
1a) The NBA was in a serious ratings funk...one that is getting very close to mirroring today. When a show airs in primetime, it has to be scheduled ahead of time like anything else. So, ensuring that games won't be played on weekend afternoons or weekend nights, Mr. Stern extends the season (and games in the playoff series) to absurd lengths. Did you know, if this were still going on, we'd be at game 6 tonight? With general ratings lower, it would make sense for a network to want the finals outside of the season. Is the solution to end the season sooner and take what you can get knowing you're bombing in primetime?
2) The great teams, when they're in the same conference, happens in cycles. When I was in high school (getting further and further away) the Eastern Conference was considered so dominant that some thought the playoffs should be changed to seed the best 16 teams, regardless of what conference. And now here we are, with the exact opposite happening. Same shit happens in the NFL. It ebbs and flows. But, just as a Texas Leaguer to right is scored the same as a screamer down the line, a 114-112 win is the same as 81-80.
3) Sadly, the league is at the mercy of the two teams within the finals. San Antonio seemed intent on playing the East Conference style of basketball, to no one's delight. Cleveland, who, in the East Finals had problems placing a tea bag into a cup, didn't bring much. And so many were ready to crown James...that he arrived...that he was READY for the finals. Well, physically, yeah. But as a Television draw, it's a big NO. Magic & Bird & Dr. J (among others)...it took them years to drag things up. Jordan? It was 6 seasons until his first title season, as his star level grew and grew. If the league is going to hang its hat on star players (instead of teams themselves) they have to live with it.
4) NBC, as their contract was ending, could see that things were going to fade. Their offer was lower than the previous, and Stern was not pleased, claiming that it would have been the first time a pro sports league's rights would have gone down contract to contract (not true...even for the NBA). ABC/ESPN/TNT said yes, which lead NBC Sports "head" Dick Ebersol to say:
"If winning the rights to a property brings with it hundreds of millions of dollars in losses, what have you won? When faced with the prospect of heavy financial losses, we have consistently walked away and have done so again."
(Editors note: You could ask Ebersol the same question about Sunday Night Football. Violating his own rule would lead to some interesting answers. Then again, he does the Olympics for NBC, and according to him, it's still 1976 in TV Land so...whatever.)
5) If ABC, and specifically ESPN is smart, wholesale changes need to be made for coverage of the league and games. Promotion needs to change to strictly stars that could be in the finals as the weeks lead up to it. The league may have to live with weekend afternoon playoff games again. And the NBA itself could do a little more to showcase their stars. I won't get into who that should be...I'll leave it to others. But I'm sure in your mind you can think of some that get regular work in ads for products more than NBA promotion. Just because Kobe isn't someone McDonald's want to use for selling their garbage, doesn't mean KG can't do an ad for Toyota or whatever.
There's acting and reacting...and if Stern continues to go the way of Gary Bettman and claim all is well at the top of the ship while the rest begins to go toward the water...it will be ugly.
June 15, 2007
Blueprint, Ultimate Legit Sting International, Stone Love Classical, Comin Back, To Attack In Black Fatigue, Wu-Tang and Junior Reid
Deadzo:
God, I love it when people are delusional. Last year, our baseball team, the Minnesota Motherfucking, wrapped up one of the most fun professional seasons I had ever witnessed, culminating in a final-day clinching of the central division title. They went to the playoffs and were defeated in the first two games, playing like small children who had wandered unaware onto a diamond. Before the third game, many sportswriters, most of whom earn FAR MORE than me, and who can eat MUCH MORE COW than anyone who reads this, proclaimed that the Twins could feasibly turn it around and if they won game three, then they could pitch Johan on short rest, and then if Brad could make a start and GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....
Of course, they lost game three. I don't think they lead at all in the entire series. They hadn't even won A game, let alone many games that would allow them to take the series. But yet, everyone looked forward, everyone just threw out the what-ifs, as if we were all hiding from the truth: that they just weren't going to win, no matter what. "Hey, if they can just..." That's not how the world works. You have to go step by step. They hadn't taken a quality at bat for two straight games (except for Big RoRo White, get at me dogg!), and all of a sudden we were talking about who was going to start game 5 back at the dome.
Now, you didn't come here to read about the Twins. They are a professional team that is fun to watch. You came here for the pain.
It's funny to hear Deadzo say this, it really is. "More stuff we're planning on doing"? I just have to ask... what? There isn't anything he CAN do! Short of swapping picks for cash, which is what may happen with the Cavs this year, so I'm told, how can you make a move?
Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that a move can't be made with the Wolves, but McFail ain't gonna be the one to do it.
There are some pieces on this team that could be given away to struggling teams looking for upgrades at specific positions. Obviously package deals are out. You'd be lucky to find one team willing to take on Ricky Davis, don't press your luck and try to throw T-hud into the mix. If a team calls about Mark Blount PLEASE JESUS JUST GIVE HIM AWAY FOR A BAG OF FUNYONS. With that known, it very well COULD be an interesting off-season, but the problem here always comes back to who is calling the shots. He can't execute a successful trade. I'm telling you, it's not possible. The two trades that have worked out for the Wolves in the past - Sam and Spree - literally fell into his lap. Spree was pissed in New York and they had Zeppo the Clown running the show, so they were just looking to get rid of him. Atlanta desperately needed cap space. Terrell Brandon was making north of 10mil, so it was so easy, even Deadzo could do it. Then Milwaukee calls and says they have a two-time NBA champion who needs a wheelbarrow to carry his nuts around, but SURPRISE SURPRISE he and George Karl didn't get along, and now he wants out. Oh, and they only want Joe Smith - he of the "Wow he can really take a charge and also not ever rebound or score points" fame - and Anthony Peeler, aka "I'm going to punch KG in the face because... why again?". I bet McHale had to flip a coin to decide that one.
The point of it all is that him saying that, him being all cocky and saying "I'll be seeing you guys real soon" is just stupid. Who else does shit like this? You make the trades and you keep working. You work the phone lines like you're collecting for Verizon (Hey, wait a minute, that's maybe a good job for ol' Deadzo). You have to try to give away any and every player on this team besides KG, Foye, McCants and Big Craig.
And while you're on the phone with other teams, why don't you do us all a favor and ask if they want to trade GMs. Just ask. Seriously.
"We have more stuff we're planning on doing," McHale said. "So I'm sure I'll be talking to you guys again very soon."
God, I love it when people are delusional. Last year, our baseball team, the Minnesota Motherfucking, wrapped up one of the most fun professional seasons I had ever witnessed, culminating in a final-day clinching of the central division title. They went to the playoffs and were defeated in the first two games, playing like small children who had wandered unaware onto a diamond. Before the third game, many sportswriters, most of whom earn FAR MORE than me, and who can eat MUCH MORE COW than anyone who reads this, proclaimed that the Twins could feasibly turn it around and if they won game three, then they could pitch Johan on short rest, and then if Brad could make a start and GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....
Of course, they lost game three. I don't think they lead at all in the entire series. They hadn't even won A game, let alone many games that would allow them to take the series. But yet, everyone looked forward, everyone just threw out the what-ifs, as if we were all hiding from the truth: that they just weren't going to win, no matter what. "Hey, if they can just..." That's not how the world works. You have to go step by step. They hadn't taken a quality at bat for two straight games (except for Big RoRo White, get at me dogg!), and all of a sudden we were talking about who was going to start game 5 back at the dome.
Now, you didn't come here to read about the Twins. They are a professional team that is fun to watch. You came here for the pain.
It's funny to hear Deadzo say this, it really is. "More stuff we're planning on doing"? I just have to ask... what? There isn't anything he CAN do! Short of swapping picks for cash, which is what may happen with the Cavs this year, so I'm told, how can you make a move?
Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that a move can't be made with the Wolves, but McFail ain't gonna be the one to do it.
There are some pieces on this team that could be given away to struggling teams looking for upgrades at specific positions. Obviously package deals are out. You'd be lucky to find one team willing to take on Ricky Davis, don't press your luck and try to throw T-hud into the mix. If a team calls about Mark Blount PLEASE JESUS JUST GIVE HIM AWAY FOR A BAG OF FUNYONS. With that known, it very well COULD be an interesting off-season, but the problem here always comes back to who is calling the shots. He can't execute a successful trade. I'm telling you, it's not possible. The two trades that have worked out for the Wolves in the past - Sam and Spree - literally fell into his lap. Spree was pissed in New York and they had Zeppo the Clown running the show, so they were just looking to get rid of him. Atlanta desperately needed cap space. Terrell Brandon was making north of 10mil, so it was so easy, even Deadzo could do it. Then Milwaukee calls and says they have a two-time NBA champion who needs a wheelbarrow to carry his nuts around, but SURPRISE SURPRISE he and George Karl didn't get along, and now he wants out. Oh, and they only want Joe Smith - he of the "Wow he can really take a charge and also not ever rebound or score points" fame - and Anthony Peeler, aka "I'm going to punch KG in the face because... why again?". I bet McHale had to flip a coin to decide that one.
The point of it all is that him saying that, him being all cocky and saying "I'll be seeing you guys real soon" is just stupid. Who else does shit like this? You make the trades and you keep working. You work the phone lines like you're collecting for Verizon (Hey, wait a minute, that's maybe a good job for ol' Deadzo). You have to try to give away any and every player on this team besides KG, Foye, McCants and Big Craig.
And while you're on the phone with other teams, why don't you do us all a favor and ask if they want to trade GMs. Just ask. Seriously.
June 14, 2007
You Know Your Town Is Dangerous When You See The Strangest Kid Come Home From Doin The Bid And Nothing Changes
I've been completely remiss in discussing the greatest MC to ever walk the earth, The GZA. So that's going to change.
Perhaps one of the greatest hip hop albums of all time, Liquid Swords is pretty much non-stop word flow and expansion of parameters. From the beginning, The Genius was always about getting you to think about his rhymes. There were things buried within the content, truisms not only about life, but about eastern philosophy and global thought. Only it was never forced, it was never "heady". It just happened, he flows like a prophet, without having to call himself a prophet. That's what elevates him, I think, in the hip hop game - because he can spit just about anything he wants and it always comes off as wise. Despite being just about the least approachable member of the Wu - what with guys like Method and Ghostface willing to get right in your face - GZA carved a place out for himself long before rappers were getting into serious shit. I read an interview with the RZA a while back ahd when asked what The Genius was up to, he said "he's just layin low, playin chess, smokin blunts, you know". The mystery of shadowboxing, indeed.
Anyway, a trade went down last night, and it was obvious KG has been heard, because the Wolves definitely have their back, but now it's time to watch their front.
(oh man, that was the sleepiest segway of all time)
The front court is in shambles.
FLASHBACK THROUGH TIME **********
1998
Tom Hammonds
Sam Mitchell
Dean Garrett
Rasho Nesterovic
Summary - The front court is in shambles.
2001
Marc Jackson
Joe Smith
Gary Trent
Loren Woods
Summary - The front court is in shambles.
2006
Mark Blount
Mark Madsen
Justin Reed
Craig Smith
Summary - The front court is in shambles.
***************************
It doesn't matter how far back you go, the best our front court has ever been was when we had Big Swerve in the paint and KG and Spree roaming like lions. That's it. And even then, defensively, that wasn't that great. Throughout history, the front court has been so incredibly bad for the Wolves, it gets to the point where getting Juwan Goddamned Howard gets me excited. Why? Because he stays down there. Because it appears that he can control his bladder when someone big approaches him. Because although he is absolutely one of the most un-exciting players in the NBA, he does his job, whatever that has been, throughout his career. Would you rather have him or C-Webb? And I'm not just talking about time-out-taking skills.
Here's a blast from the past: I actually used to own a #25 Michigan jersey, because I always thought Howard was the class of the Fab 5. Well, he certainly didn't cash as many checks as C-Webb (both during and after college), and didn't piss as many people off as Jalen Rose, but he's had a notable NBA career, and still plays decent minutes for a 34 year old.
The key to this trade is to look beyond the basics. Simply put, we traded Mike James, a 31 year old point guard who had been marginalized by the emergence of Randy Foye and the fact that we have a high first round pick this year, for Juwan Howard, a guy who had been marginalized on his own team by age and similar circumstances. But it's the contracts that matter. With James we get out from three more years of pain.
Right now, the Wolves have 4 absolutely albatross contracts:
Mark Blount - 3 more years, roughly 7mil per year
Troy Hudson - 3 more years, roughly 6.5mil per year
Marko Jaric - 4 more years, roughly 7mil per year
Mike James - 3 more years, roughly 6mil per year
Right now, and for the rest of the offseason, their mission absolutely has to be to get out from as many of these contracts as possible. They have to be willing to accept WHATEVER teams can give to them. Even if it means Steve Francis. That's right.
If they have to trade for Steve Francis, and they can get rid of two or more of those listed above (James already being gone), then it works. Steve's only got two more years, and he'll be a very tradeable piece if he mans up with KG. I would do it in a heartbeat, but ONLY if it means dumping nearly all of those guys listed above. The Wolves have to think long-term right now, something not usually done by a deceased GM. The product on the floor isn't going to matter. KG isn't going to matter. If you don't dump those guys above, it isn't going to make a lick of difference if KG is here or not, because you'll still be committing as much money as you paid him to three total scumbags. The argument isn't about swinging a big deal for immediate help. The argument has to be to free themselves to do something, anything in the open market. First, they have to dump. Those 4 players listed above are not going to increase their value anymore, and in all four cases, they have dropped their value considerably since signing their contracts. Specifically Troy... he would not be able to sign a contract to play in the NBA were he a free agent this season. Blount is borderline. Jaric could catch on somewhere as a backup. And James is the best of the 4. And we just traded him.
I'm happy about this trade. Now we have a more tradeable piece in Howard, and he can be packaged with other guys (oh wait, Deadzo doesn't understand "packaging") and perhaps our pick this year to make a run at something. This move was a small one, but a positive one, I believe, for this team. We get a better contract, and we lose a guy who was the most expendable on the team. Whatever Howard gives us is gravy. Will he be better than Mark Blount? Well, considering I walked by a guy at the bus-stop this morning who was talking to himself about how it's just a matter of him "getting some money and then getting a job", and HE is better than Mark Blount at basketball, I think it's a safe bet.
Perhaps one of the greatest hip hop albums of all time, Liquid Swords is pretty much non-stop word flow and expansion of parameters. From the beginning, The Genius was always about getting you to think about his rhymes. There were things buried within the content, truisms not only about life, but about eastern philosophy and global thought. Only it was never forced, it was never "heady". It just happened, he flows like a prophet, without having to call himself a prophet. That's what elevates him, I think, in the hip hop game - because he can spit just about anything he wants and it always comes off as wise. Despite being just about the least approachable member of the Wu - what with guys like Method and Ghostface willing to get right in your face - GZA carved a place out for himself long before rappers were getting into serious shit. I read an interview with the RZA a while back ahd when asked what The Genius was up to, he said "he's just layin low, playin chess, smokin blunts, you know". The mystery of shadowboxing, indeed.
Anyway, a trade went down last night, and it was obvious KG has been heard, because the Wolves definitely have their back, but now it's time to watch their front.
(oh man, that was the sleepiest segway of all time)
The front court is in shambles.
FLASHBACK THROUGH TIME **********
1998
Tom Hammonds
Sam Mitchell
Dean Garrett
Rasho Nesterovic
Summary - The front court is in shambles.
2001
Marc Jackson
Joe Smith
Gary Trent
Loren Woods
Summary - The front court is in shambles.
2006
Mark Blount
Mark Madsen
Justin Reed
Craig Smith
Summary - The front court is in shambles.
***************************
It doesn't matter how far back you go, the best our front court has ever been was when we had Big Swerve in the paint and KG and Spree roaming like lions. That's it. And even then, defensively, that wasn't that great. Throughout history, the front court has been so incredibly bad for the Wolves, it gets to the point where getting Juwan Goddamned Howard gets me excited. Why? Because he stays down there. Because it appears that he can control his bladder when someone big approaches him. Because although he is absolutely one of the most un-exciting players in the NBA, he does his job, whatever that has been, throughout his career. Would you rather have him or C-Webb? And I'm not just talking about time-out-taking skills.
Here's a blast from the past: I actually used to own a #25 Michigan jersey, because I always thought Howard was the class of the Fab 5. Well, he certainly didn't cash as many checks as C-Webb (both during and after college), and didn't piss as many people off as Jalen Rose, but he's had a notable NBA career, and still plays decent minutes for a 34 year old.
The key to this trade is to look beyond the basics. Simply put, we traded Mike James, a 31 year old point guard who had been marginalized by the emergence of Randy Foye and the fact that we have a high first round pick this year, for Juwan Howard, a guy who had been marginalized on his own team by age and similar circumstances. But it's the contracts that matter. With James we get out from three more years of pain.
Right now, the Wolves have 4 absolutely albatross contracts:
Mark Blount - 3 more years, roughly 7mil per year
Troy Hudson - 3 more years, roughly 6.5mil per year
Marko Jaric - 4 more years, roughly 7mil per year
Mike James - 3 more years, roughly 6mil per year
Right now, and for the rest of the offseason, their mission absolutely has to be to get out from as many of these contracts as possible. They have to be willing to accept WHATEVER teams can give to them. Even if it means Steve Francis. That's right.
If they have to trade for Steve Francis, and they can get rid of two or more of those listed above (James already being gone), then it works. Steve's only got two more years, and he'll be a very tradeable piece if he mans up with KG. I would do it in a heartbeat, but ONLY if it means dumping nearly all of those guys listed above. The Wolves have to think long-term right now, something not usually done by a deceased GM. The product on the floor isn't going to matter. KG isn't going to matter. If you don't dump those guys above, it isn't going to make a lick of difference if KG is here or not, because you'll still be committing as much money as you paid him to three total scumbags. The argument isn't about swinging a big deal for immediate help. The argument has to be to free themselves to do something, anything in the open market. First, they have to dump. Those 4 players listed above are not going to increase their value anymore, and in all four cases, they have dropped their value considerably since signing their contracts. Specifically Troy... he would not be able to sign a contract to play in the NBA were he a free agent this season. Blount is borderline. Jaric could catch on somewhere as a backup. And James is the best of the 4. And we just traded him.
I'm happy about this trade. Now we have a more tradeable piece in Howard, and he can be packaged with other guys (oh wait, Deadzo doesn't understand "packaging") and perhaps our pick this year to make a run at something. This move was a small one, but a positive one, I believe, for this team. We get a better contract, and we lose a guy who was the most expendable on the team. Whatever Howard gives us is gravy. Will he be better than Mark Blount? Well, considering I walked by a guy at the bus-stop this morning who was talking to himself about how it's just a matter of him "getting some money and then getting a job", and HE is better than Mark Blount at basketball, I think it's a safe bet.
"I slayed MCs back in the rec-room era,
My style broke motherfuckin backs like Ken Patera"
June 13, 2007
Now How Wrong Can You Be To Think We Play, Even A Broken Clock Is Right At Least Twice A Day
Straight out of Illtown in the early 90s, Naughty By Nature was the ultimate Catch 22 in the rap game. Specifically Treach, a gritty, sharp, wicked rhymesayer who had lived the true ghetto life in East Orange, NJ, and rapped about being homeless, growing up a "ghetto bastard" and sending about 10 minutes of shoutouts to all his 118th street posse (the song "Thankx for Sleepwalking" is essentially just one long shoutout). On the other edge of the blade, so to speak, they enjoyed IMMENSE radio and MTV airplay with OPP and later with Hip Hop Hooray. I always wondered what the driving force of the group was... obviously Treach is one of the most talented, underrated rappers of the 90s, and is still going today, but I wondered if the hooks on their tracks weren't just the perfect amount of sugar to appeal to the MTV crowd. The beat for OPP, for example, sampled directly from ABC, is a sweet bubbly hook, with Treach overtop of it going on about giggly subject matter that had the whole world asking if they were down with it. But like I say, the truth is that Treach was as ghetto as they come, rapping about bus cards and saying how he's "been through more shit within the last week, than a fly going through doo-doo on the concrete". The duality of Man, I suppose.
Regardless, I think I'm seeing the same things from the NBA finals.
On one hand, I pull for the team with potential, the team that can break expectations. The worst thing for me in sports is predictability, and though I hate negative predictability more (see Timberwolves, Minnesota), postitive predictability is also bothersome. This is why the Spurs ultimately are a disappointment to watch. They are predictably good. I would feel the same way if the Pistons would do what they had the potential to (win 3 championships in a row). I think back to the Lakers, and the Bulls before them, and the Lakers and Celtics before them. They were great, and they won multiple championships, but most importantly, they kept changing, kept pushing the limits of what they could do as a team, kept steamrolling bad opponents and stepping up to the great ones. They were DYNAMIC. The Spurs are not.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I do love properly played basketball. I enjoy seeing the Spurs take control of the floor on both ends. Tony Parker's the kind of guy who I would love to like, as is Tim Duncan, based on their games.
It's like, I know in my head that they are - simultaneously - playing great, watchable basketball, and also that they are no fun to watch.
I've thought about this a lot. I've taken quite a bit in from media sources - probably too much. I've tried it from every angle imaginable. But I still end up pulling fora guy named Boobie. And for Donyell Marshall. I know! Isn't that twisted? That I want Donyell Marshall to win an NBA championship more than Robert Horry, because nobody thinks Donyell "deserves" it? I did the same thing last year! For some reason, I wanted nothing more in the world than Jason Williams and Antoine Walker to win a title. Why? Because everyone ragged on them for their entire careers about how they couldn't make a team better and they were too selfish.
I think LeBron is out of the argument for now. I just wanted the Cavs to win because they had personality, they had flaws, they surprised the world by beating Detroit, and they were playing with house money. Their coach is undermatched, and he doesn't know how to respond. So they just go out and do whatever they can to win games, and it ends up being something with a lot more character than the Spurs plodding through yet another well-constructed win.
Christ, who bore this uneasiness in me? Where did this come from?
In the end, I think it goes back to the flopping. I don't cheer for floppers. Ever. Vlade showed me what pure hatred was, and I haven't turned back. Manu and Parker can flat out kiss it. There. There's the reason.
Regardless, I think I'm seeing the same things from the NBA finals.
On one hand, I pull for the team with potential, the team that can break expectations. The worst thing for me in sports is predictability, and though I hate negative predictability more (see Timberwolves, Minnesota), postitive predictability is also bothersome. This is why the Spurs ultimately are a disappointment to watch. They are predictably good. I would feel the same way if the Pistons would do what they had the potential to (win 3 championships in a row). I think back to the Lakers, and the Bulls before them, and the Lakers and Celtics before them. They were great, and they won multiple championships, but most importantly, they kept changing, kept pushing the limits of what they could do as a team, kept steamrolling bad opponents and stepping up to the great ones. They were DYNAMIC. The Spurs are not.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I do love properly played basketball. I enjoy seeing the Spurs take control of the floor on both ends. Tony Parker's the kind of guy who I would love to like, as is Tim Duncan, based on their games.
It's like, I know in my head that they are - simultaneously - playing great, watchable basketball, and also that they are no fun to watch.
I've thought about this a lot. I've taken quite a bit in from media sources - probably too much. I've tried it from every angle imaginable. But I still end up pulling fora guy named Boobie. And for Donyell Marshall. I know! Isn't that twisted? That I want Donyell Marshall to win an NBA championship more than Robert Horry, because nobody thinks Donyell "deserves" it? I did the same thing last year! For some reason, I wanted nothing more in the world than Jason Williams and Antoine Walker to win a title. Why? Because everyone ragged on them for their entire careers about how they couldn't make a team better and they were too selfish.
I think LeBron is out of the argument for now. I just wanted the Cavs to win because they had personality, they had flaws, they surprised the world by beating Detroit, and they were playing with house money. Their coach is undermatched, and he doesn't know how to respond. So they just go out and do whatever they can to win games, and it ends up being something with a lot more character than the Spurs plodding through yet another well-constructed win.
Christ, who bore this uneasiness in me? Where did this come from?
In the end, I think it goes back to the flopping. I don't cheer for floppers. Ever. Vlade showed me what pure hatred was, and I haven't turned back. Manu and Parker can flat out kiss it. There. There's the reason.
June 4, 2007
I Rope-a-Dope The Evil, With Righteous Bobbin' And Weavin', And Let The Good Get Even
A long time ago, I heard from some dumb dunce that the great moments in sports are when you don't know what's going to happen next, and the truly transcendant moments are when you thought you knew, but you truly had no idea. Watching Jordan carve in the 90s was like that - you didn't know what was going to happen, you thought you had seen it all, and then POW! Something brand new. Nobody cares much for the predictable, that's why we all got tired of seeing the Lakers winning a few years ago... they were doing it the same damn way every time. Oh gee, can Shaq score in the post? Oh, Kobe's really good too? Where's the fun?
Anyway, if I were a gambling man - and I am - I would put a good amount of money on our Cavaliers to take this one.
We've entered into that fun place, that "Golden State is playing on borrowed time" place where it is possible for us to soon find ourselves entering the glory land. I have a vague sense of the world completely switching gears following game 5 in Detroit, something fundamentally changing about the NBA that I won't be able to explain just yet. As with any major shift, it's improper to evaluate it right away, because it could turn out to be nothing. LeBron could very easily go back to being just a very good basketball player in the Finals, in which case the Cavs are going to LOSE LOSE LOSE.
But there's potential now. We've seen it. Things could happen.
Every team has a superstar now, that's just the way it goes. As such, usually the superstars can negate each other. "Dirk is going to be hard to contain, but what about Steve Nash???" This is different. This is the old rhetorical questions... "What if you just can't stop LeBron?" Duncan will get his (by the way, isn't that his career in a nutshell? "Duncan will get his" He always brings it. Like KG. But with a better organization and smarter owners) but the Cavs possess the super wild card.
Nobody can predict what is going to happen. It's nearly impossible. Saying that the Spurs will grind out a series win seems to be the consensus for the "safe" pick. But it's not safe. Cleveland is at 3-1 odds right now, and that's a huge surprise. I think they should be much lower, considering San Antonio has been favored to take this whole thing since knocking Phoenix off. But now bookies aren't so sure. And who can blame them? Watching LeBron seems to give everyone fits, including his own fans.
It has been an absolutely fantastic playoff run this year, and it's not letting up anytime soon. First there was Golden State, and when that faded there was SA-Phoenix, what with all the punching and shoving. Out east there was a young child named James, who decided to score every time he touched the ball. Now we've got the possibility for one of the best finals of all time.
It's there. That potential. And we're walking into it with smiles on our faces.
Anyway, if I were a gambling man - and I am - I would put a good amount of money on our Cavaliers to take this one.
We've entered into that fun place, that "Golden State is playing on borrowed time" place where it is possible for us to soon find ourselves entering the glory land. I have a vague sense of the world completely switching gears following game 5 in Detroit, something fundamentally changing about the NBA that I won't be able to explain just yet. As with any major shift, it's improper to evaluate it right away, because it could turn out to be nothing. LeBron could very easily go back to being just a very good basketball player in the Finals, in which case the Cavs are going to LOSE LOSE LOSE.
But there's potential now. We've seen it. Things could happen.
Every team has a superstar now, that's just the way it goes. As such, usually the superstars can negate each other. "Dirk is going to be hard to contain, but what about Steve Nash???" This is different. This is the old rhetorical questions... "What if you just can't stop LeBron?" Duncan will get his (by the way, isn't that his career in a nutshell? "Duncan will get his" He always brings it. Like KG. But with a better organization and smarter owners) but the Cavs possess the super wild card.
Nobody can predict what is going to happen. It's nearly impossible. Saying that the Spurs will grind out a series win seems to be the consensus for the "safe" pick. But it's not safe. Cleveland is at 3-1 odds right now, and that's a huge surprise. I think they should be much lower, considering San Antonio has been favored to take this whole thing since knocking Phoenix off. But now bookies aren't so sure. And who can blame them? Watching LeBron seems to give everyone fits, including his own fans.
It has been an absolutely fantastic playoff run this year, and it's not letting up anytime soon. First there was Golden State, and when that faded there was SA-Phoenix, what with all the punching and shoving. Out east there was a young child named James, who decided to score every time he touched the ball. Now we've got the possibility for one of the best finals of all time.
It's there. That potential. And we're walking into it with smiles on our faces.
June 1, 2007
Like Lotto, You Have To Be In It To Win It
So 24 wants out of LA? Or he wants to stay? Or he's getting nothing but hand at home, so he's calling all these radio stations all day, just to talk? Well, everyone and their mother is talking about possible deals for Kobe right now, and that's all well and good, but what about his other concern? Are the Lakers going to get better? How?
Their roster: (player, contract duration, money owed)
Lamar Odom
2 more years - 13.5mil and 14.5mil
Yeah, right. They're not trading him. What can you get for him? Average scoring, average rebounding, above-average money. And he's two years away from coming off. Unless you're talking about trading with a team who's almost there and just needs a push over the edge (Cleveland, I suppose), what can you get in return that doesn't screw up your team worse than it was with Odom on it?
Kwame Brown
One more year - 9mil
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Vladimir Radmanovic
3 more years - 5.5mil, 6mil, 6.5mil (then a player option for 7)
What the hell does he do? Why would you take this guy? 6.6 ppg? He's just a mid-level guy, which means he's not tradeable, because there's 20 of these guys every year on the market.
Chris Mihm
Free agent
He missed almost all of last season with ankle surgery. Career 10ppg scorer. Maybe you could sign and trade for a dumptruck, but only if it was half-full.
Andrew Bynum
Two more years - 2mil and 3mil, then he's a restricted free-agent
They won't trade him... for some reason they are sold on the kid. This is like the Wolves putting Foye up on the block - it would only happen for AI or guys like that. And LA isn't really in the running for guys like that.
Luke Walton
Free agent
Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Luke is steadily improving - assists, rebounds, points, minutes; they all went up last year, by a lot. He's 27 years old, and is entering a delayed peak. Of course, he's not on the Lakers payroll. They could sign and trade, I suppose. If you packaged Walton with Bynum, you'd be getting somewhere...
Jordan Farmar
Rookie - they've got him for 3 more years, for cheap
He played in almost every game last year, and improved slightly. He's got a long way to go, though. He represents potential, and that doesn't go a long way in trading for big pieces.
Brian Cook
Two more years - 3.5mil and 3.5mil (with a player option after that for 3.5)
Sure, he's only making 3.5, and his contract isn't a killer, but he plays 15 minutes a game and isn't improving. He's a nothing. You could get his production from anyone in the D-league.
Maurice Evans
It doesn't matter
Walking garbage.
------------------------------------
Ok, so that's the long and short of it. Who do you trade on this team? Well, let's see... you could put Bynum and Farmar together, sign and trade Walton, and that might be somewhat attractive, for a mid-level guy. Of course, that would leave you with total putrification. You could throw Odom in the mix to get the overall salary up, and go after a huge contract... but putting Kobe on the floor with another huge contract might sound good, however there will be no one else AT ALL on the team. Think about that. Whoever you traded those guys for, Kwame Brown becomes the third best player on the floor. And Smush Parker the 4th best. So yeah.
Face it, the Lakers are in the same boat as the Wolves, albeit with much more manageable contracts. At least the Lakers can move some smaller pieces around, and bundle them together. At least other GMs wouldn't laugh openly in their face if they tried to package their players together. "Yeah hi, this is Kevin in Minnesota, hey how do you feel about Troy Hudson? (laughter rising) Well, what if we put him in a deal with Marko Jaric? (rising) Hmm, I guess we could put Mark Blunt in a deal too... (full-on guffawing) You know what, if you absolutely have to have it, we can include Ricky Davis too. (doubled over, vomiting, screaming "make it stop")
Anyway, there it is.
Their roster: (player, contract duration, money owed)
Lamar Odom
2 more years - 13.5mil and 14.5mil
Yeah, right. They're not trading him. What can you get for him? Average scoring, average rebounding, above-average money. And he's two years away from coming off. Unless you're talking about trading with a team who's almost there and just needs a push over the edge (Cleveland, I suppose), what can you get in return that doesn't screw up your team worse than it was with Odom on it?
Kwame Brown
One more year - 9mil
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Vladimir Radmanovic
3 more years - 5.5mil, 6mil, 6.5mil (then a player option for 7)
What the hell does he do? Why would you take this guy? 6.6 ppg? He's just a mid-level guy, which means he's not tradeable, because there's 20 of these guys every year on the market.
Chris Mihm
Free agent
He missed almost all of last season with ankle surgery. Career 10ppg scorer. Maybe you could sign and trade for a dumptruck, but only if it was half-full.
Andrew Bynum
Two more years - 2mil and 3mil, then he's a restricted free-agent
They won't trade him... for some reason they are sold on the kid. This is like the Wolves putting Foye up on the block - it would only happen for AI or guys like that. And LA isn't really in the running for guys like that.
Luke Walton
Free agent
Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Luke is steadily improving - assists, rebounds, points, minutes; they all went up last year, by a lot. He's 27 years old, and is entering a delayed peak. Of course, he's not on the Lakers payroll. They could sign and trade, I suppose. If you packaged Walton with Bynum, you'd be getting somewhere...
Jordan Farmar
Rookie - they've got him for 3 more years, for cheap
He played in almost every game last year, and improved slightly. He's got a long way to go, though. He represents potential, and that doesn't go a long way in trading for big pieces.
Brian Cook
Two more years - 3.5mil and 3.5mil (with a player option after that for 3.5)
Sure, he's only making 3.5, and his contract isn't a killer, but he plays 15 minutes a game and isn't improving. He's a nothing. You could get his production from anyone in the D-league.
Maurice Evans
It doesn't matter
Walking garbage.
------------------------------------
Ok, so that's the long and short of it. Who do you trade on this team? Well, let's see... you could put Bynum and Farmar together, sign and trade Walton, and that might be somewhat attractive, for a mid-level guy. Of course, that would leave you with total putrification. You could throw Odom in the mix to get the overall salary up, and go after a huge contract... but putting Kobe on the floor with another huge contract might sound good, however there will be no one else AT ALL on the team. Think about that. Whoever you traded those guys for, Kwame Brown becomes the third best player on the floor. And Smush Parker the 4th best. So yeah.
Face it, the Lakers are in the same boat as the Wolves, albeit with much more manageable contracts. At least the Lakers can move some smaller pieces around, and bundle them together. At least other GMs wouldn't laugh openly in their face if they tried to package their players together. "Yeah hi, this is Kevin in Minnesota, hey how do you feel about Troy Hudson? (laughter rising) Well, what if we put him in a deal with Marko Jaric? (rising) Hmm, I guess we could put Mark Blunt in a deal too... (full-on guffawing) You know what, if you absolutely have to have it, we can include Ricky Davis too. (doubled over, vomiting, screaming "make it stop")
Anyway, there it is.
May 30, 2007
Shaq Part II...Well, Minus 10....
So Kobe wants out of Los Angeles, huh? Gee, I wish the Timberwolves front office had the ability to do anything about the availablity of one of the best players in the world. I would be willing to put aside my dislike of #24 if it meant KG could win a championship. I also wish that there was a chance that Kobe would want to play next to KG in Minnesota. You can wish in one hand and-I know. I just shit in my hand.
The fact that I'm a fan of one of the worst run organizations in sports means I probably won't get to watch Kobe in blue and black but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy watching teams try to acquire him while owner Jerry Buss - that's Dr. Buss to you drunky - rides GM Mitch Kupchak like a three legged pony in a mustard eating contest. Yeah, I don't know what that means either.
Anyways, on with the show...
So who has a shot at winning this seasons version of Who Wants A Laker? Let's find out!
Our contestants come to us from varying levels of interest and ability. Sure, there are some long shots but just because they have less than 1 in 1 million chances of happening, we didn't keep them out!
Sacramento Kings
Give: Ron Artest, Mike Bibby, #10 pick(Yi Jianlian / Acie Law IV)
Get: Kobe Bryant
Bibby and Artest are big enough names to be known in Hollywood and have been, in the recent past, very good players. Bibby would definitely benefit from a change of scenery and would be a good fit for the PG in the triangle offense. Two things stand in the way of this deal. One, the Maloofs refusal to trade with the Lakers based on principle would, in theory, make them reject this deal. But Kobe may be big enough for them to soften their stance a bit. The Lakers wouldn’t want Kobe to be in the same division because they’d have to face him 4 times a year, not to mention staying in the same state may take some of the Lakers fan base further North. But - hey, don't they have a coaching vacancy too? Hmmm...
New Jersey Nets
Give: Richard Jefferson, Marcus Williams, Antoine Wright, #17 pick(Josh McRoberts / Thaddeus Young)
Get: Kobe Bryant
Richard Jefferson is a fairly good name, but not huge. Both Williams and Wright are solid youngsters who could grow into solid pros. This would be a salary cap move for the most part and, looking at Mr. Buss’ past, could be a likely move if he’s going to have to move his gold coin. Plus he would only have to face an angry Kobe twice a year. New Jersey would want to do this deal because they they’d get to have Kobe and Kidd together. They would then only hope that Vince opts out and leaves. They’d win huge. Kobe in Brooklyn? I think Jay-Z just peed his pants a little bit.
Phoenix Suns
Give: Amare Stoudemire, Raja Bell, Marcus Banks, #24 pick, #29 pick
Get: Kobe Bryant
The Lakers end up with a marketable star in Stoudemire and two extra first round picks in a deep draft. But maybe most importantly they get Kobe’s nemesis in Raja Bell. That way, when they play four times a year, Buss can be on the other side of the Bryant-Bell Bitchfest. The Suns fix their supposed chemistry problem (while possibly giving themselves a new one) and give themselves an amazing piece to add to the D’Antoni puzzle. How many do you think Kobe could average with 20 extra possessions?
Indiana Pacers
Give: Jermaine O’neal, Danny Granger, and Marquis Daniels
Get: Kobe Bryant, Kwame Brown
Jermaine is a big name star who could use a change of scenery and is apparently being shopped by Indiana. Granger is a young up and comer who can play the 2-3 and even a little 4. Most importantly though the Lakers would rid themselves of Kwame Brown and could then begin to forget the mistake of trading for him. The only problem is that the Pacers have no picks this year with which to sweeten the pot and, because of the new CBA, cannot trade next years first rounder because they traded this years - that is if I interpreted that correctly which I may not have. Of course that might be a price Buss would be willing to pay to move Kobe to the Eastern Conference.
Memphis Grizzlies
Give: Pau Gasol, Rudy Gay, Hakim Warrick, #4 pick (Al Horford / Joakim Noah)
Get: Kobe Bryant, #19
This is a long shot although if I were Memphis I’d try to work something out and try to convince Jerry West to stay on in some capacity just to entice Kobe. Memphis would be fairly dumb to do the deal. Then again, you did already get screwed in the Draft Lottery so what do you have to lose? You would immediately sell out every game not to mention all the #24 jerseys you would sell right out of the gate. The Lakers get a solid star, and all-rookie performer, and a solid bench player to ease the rebuilding process. Mostly this deal comes up because it involves The Logo.
Philadelphia 76ers
Give: Andre Miller, Andre Iguodala, Kyle Korver, and #12 pick (Jeff Green / Al Thornton)
Get: Kobe Bryant, Jordan Farmar
I know, I know, the Philly fans love to boo Kobe every time he shows up but seriously, who in Philly wouldn’t want to have their hometown star back home? I don’t like Kobe but I’d be happy to have a player of his caliber on my team. After Iverson was traded to Denver last year Iguodala began to show his true abilities. He does a little bit of everything ala Shawn Marion, but at the SG spot. Sure you give up your point guard of the future but don’t forget that Andre Miller led the league in assists 5 seasons ago and has yet to get comfortable since leaving Cleveland. Korver is one of the league’s premier three-point specialists who would keep the lane open for Bynum and A.I..
Milwaukee Bucks
Give: Michael Redd, Charlie Villenueva, Mo Williams, #6 pick (Mike Conley, Jr. / Corey Brewer)
Get: Kobe Bryant
Sure this deal would be terrible, but how fitting would it be that Kobe and Kareem would have one more link between them? It’d never happen, but I couldn’t resist the history.
Miami Heat
Give: Jason Williams, Udonis Haslem, Dorell Wright, #20 pick
Get: Kobe Bryant
Oh c’mon, how can you not look at reuniting Shaq and Kobe? Then add Dwayne Wade? Sure, there might not be enough balls to go around but don’t tell me you wouldn’t watch. Not to mention that if there’s a front office executive crazy enough to try it, it’s Pat Riley. He’d probably even be able to lure Kareem out of retirement to back up Shaq instead of Zo. Clearly for the Lakers this would just be some cap work not to mention a terrible deal, but wouldn’t it be something? Just imagine: “Kobe picks Dirk’s pocket, outlet pass to Wade, lob to Shaq, OH BABY! The Diesel brings down the house!” It's like an all-star game. Every night. In Miami instead of L.A.
The fact that I'm a fan of one of the worst run organizations in sports means I probably won't get to watch Kobe in blue and black but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy watching teams try to acquire him while owner Jerry Buss - that's Dr. Buss to you drunky - rides GM Mitch Kupchak like a three legged pony in a mustard eating contest. Yeah, I don't know what that means either.
Anyways, on with the show...
So who has a shot at winning this seasons version of Who Wants A Laker? Let's find out!
Our contestants come to us from varying levels of interest and ability. Sure, there are some long shots but just because they have less than 1 in 1 million chances of happening, we didn't keep them out!
Sacramento Kings
Give: Ron Artest, Mike Bibby, #10 pick(Yi Jianlian / Acie Law IV)
Get: Kobe Bryant
Bibby and Artest are big enough names to be known in Hollywood and have been, in the recent past, very good players. Bibby would definitely benefit from a change of scenery and would be a good fit for the PG in the triangle offense. Two things stand in the way of this deal. One, the Maloofs refusal to trade with the Lakers based on principle would, in theory, make them reject this deal. But Kobe may be big enough for them to soften their stance a bit. The Lakers wouldn’t want Kobe to be in the same division because they’d have to face him 4 times a year, not to mention staying in the same state may take some of the Lakers fan base further North. But - hey, don't they have a coaching vacancy too? Hmmm...
New Jersey Nets
Give: Richard Jefferson, Marcus Williams, Antoine Wright, #17 pick(Josh McRoberts / Thaddeus Young)
Get: Kobe Bryant
Richard Jefferson is a fairly good name, but not huge. Both Williams and Wright are solid youngsters who could grow into solid pros. This would be a salary cap move for the most part and, looking at Mr. Buss’ past, could be a likely move if he’s going to have to move his gold coin. Plus he would only have to face an angry Kobe twice a year. New Jersey would want to do this deal because they they’d get to have Kobe and Kidd together. They would then only hope that Vince opts out and leaves. They’d win huge. Kobe in Brooklyn? I think Jay-Z just peed his pants a little bit.
Phoenix Suns
Give: Amare Stoudemire, Raja Bell, Marcus Banks, #24 pick, #29 pick
Get: Kobe Bryant
The Lakers end up with a marketable star in Stoudemire and two extra first round picks in a deep draft. But maybe most importantly they get Kobe’s nemesis in Raja Bell. That way, when they play four times a year, Buss can be on the other side of the Bryant-Bell Bitchfest. The Suns fix their supposed chemistry problem (while possibly giving themselves a new one) and give themselves an amazing piece to add to the D’Antoni puzzle. How many do you think Kobe could average with 20 extra possessions?
Indiana Pacers
Give: Jermaine O’neal, Danny Granger, and Marquis Daniels
Get: Kobe Bryant, Kwame Brown
Jermaine is a big name star who could use a change of scenery and is apparently being shopped by Indiana. Granger is a young up and comer who can play the 2-3 and even a little 4. Most importantly though the Lakers would rid themselves of Kwame Brown and could then begin to forget the mistake of trading for him. The only problem is that the Pacers have no picks this year with which to sweeten the pot and, because of the new CBA, cannot trade next years first rounder because they traded this years - that is if I interpreted that correctly which I may not have. Of course that might be a price Buss would be willing to pay to move Kobe to the Eastern Conference.
Memphis Grizzlies
Give: Pau Gasol, Rudy Gay, Hakim Warrick, #4 pick (Al Horford / Joakim Noah)
Get: Kobe Bryant, #19
This is a long shot although if I were Memphis I’d try to work something out and try to convince Jerry West to stay on in some capacity just to entice Kobe. Memphis would be fairly dumb to do the deal. Then again, you did already get screwed in the Draft Lottery so what do you have to lose? You would immediately sell out every game not to mention all the #24 jerseys you would sell right out of the gate. The Lakers get a solid star, and all-rookie performer, and a solid bench player to ease the rebuilding process. Mostly this deal comes up because it involves The Logo.
Philadelphia 76ers
Give: Andre Miller, Andre Iguodala, Kyle Korver, and #12 pick (Jeff Green / Al Thornton)
Get: Kobe Bryant, Jordan Farmar
I know, I know, the Philly fans love to boo Kobe every time he shows up but seriously, who in Philly wouldn’t want to have their hometown star back home? I don’t like Kobe but I’d be happy to have a player of his caliber on my team. After Iverson was traded to Denver last year Iguodala began to show his true abilities. He does a little bit of everything ala Shawn Marion, but at the SG spot. Sure you give up your point guard of the future but don’t forget that Andre Miller led the league in assists 5 seasons ago and has yet to get comfortable since leaving Cleveland. Korver is one of the league’s premier three-point specialists who would keep the lane open for Bynum and A.I..
Milwaukee Bucks
Give: Michael Redd, Charlie Villenueva, Mo Williams, #6 pick (Mike Conley, Jr. / Corey Brewer)
Get: Kobe Bryant
Sure this deal would be terrible, but how fitting would it be that Kobe and Kareem would have one more link between them? It’d never happen, but I couldn’t resist the history.
Miami Heat
Give: Jason Williams, Udonis Haslem, Dorell Wright, #20 pick
Get: Kobe Bryant
Oh c’mon, how can you not look at reuniting Shaq and Kobe? Then add Dwayne Wade? Sure, there might not be enough balls to go around but don’t tell me you wouldn’t watch. Not to mention that if there’s a front office executive crazy enough to try it, it’s Pat Riley. He’d probably even be able to lure Kareem out of retirement to back up Shaq instead of Zo. Clearly for the Lakers this would just be some cap work not to mention a terrible deal, but wouldn’t it be something? Just imagine: “Kobe picks Dirk’s pocket, outlet pass to Wade, lob to Shaq, OH BABY! The Diesel brings down the house!” It's like an all-star game. Every night. In Miami instead of L.A.
May 22, 2007
Uncompleted Missions, Throwin Your Best-Known Compositions, Couldn't Add It Up If You Mastered Addition
Christ, it's not going to happen tonight, so let's not even talk about that. We're looking at the 7 or 8, and the only thing that comes up good in the 7 or 8 spot is when you have 7 or 8 pancakes and a whole mess o' boysenberry.
GUYS I DON'T WANT THE WOLVES TO DRAFT
Brandan Wright
He's a freshman forward from UNC. You know what that means? He plays "Forward", definitely not to be confused with "Power Forward". He's going to be lanky, and scared. KG will make him cry. He won't possess a killer attitude, he won't have any sort of discernable personality, and above all, he'll be another little wiry fucker without power.
God I hate UNC.
Corey Brewer
Obviously, I spent the entire college basketball season in a country only a few thousand miles from Antarctica, so I didn't see anything from Florida (or anyone else, for that matter). But, luckily, I WAS around to see last year's team, and as I am to understand, this year's team was very similar. Anyway, I probably could've gave a shit about Corey Brewer... that is until I just saw him on espn.com. OH DEAR LORD THIS MAN HAS A MENTAL DEFICIENCY. I hope to god that he smoked at least a bowl before the camera went on, because he made Corky sound like a Rhodes Scholar. There's no reason to ever employ someone who talks that slowly, in any profession.
Yi Jianlian
1. His name is pronounced "Yee". As in "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
2. He only recently came to America, which means nobody knows anything about him. Oh, and he's working out by himself, naturally. Translation: he is WAY too slow to go up against NBA talent. I mean, when he faked out his trainer and took him to the rack??!?! Sweet as, bro! But against a proper defender? NO THANKS.
Joakim Noah
(no reason need be given)
Spencer Hawes
Please god almighty don't take the Bogut/Montross/Bowie/McCullough/Reeves clone in this year's draft. 7 foot tall white guys not from Europe DON'T. PLAY. OUT.
-----------------------------------------------
So who should the Wolves take?
Greg Oden. And if he's not available, how about Kevin Durant?
GUYS I DON'T WANT THE WOLVES TO DRAFT
Brandan Wright
He's a freshman forward from UNC. You know what that means? He plays "Forward", definitely not to be confused with "Power Forward". He's going to be lanky, and scared. KG will make him cry. He won't possess a killer attitude, he won't have any sort of discernable personality, and above all, he'll be another little wiry fucker without power.
God I hate UNC.
Corey Brewer
Obviously, I spent the entire college basketball season in a country only a few thousand miles from Antarctica, so I didn't see anything from Florida (or anyone else, for that matter). But, luckily, I WAS around to see last year's team, and as I am to understand, this year's team was very similar. Anyway, I probably could've gave a shit about Corey Brewer... that is until I just saw him on espn.com. OH DEAR LORD THIS MAN HAS A MENTAL DEFICIENCY. I hope to god that he smoked at least a bowl before the camera went on, because he made Corky sound like a Rhodes Scholar. There's no reason to ever employ someone who talks that slowly, in any profession.
Yi Jianlian
1. His name is pronounced "Yee". As in "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
2. He only recently came to America, which means nobody knows anything about him. Oh, and he's working out by himself, naturally. Translation: he is WAY too slow to go up against NBA talent. I mean, when he faked out his trainer and took him to the rack??!?! Sweet as, bro! But against a proper defender? NO THANKS.
Joakim Noah
(no reason need be given)
Spencer Hawes
Please god almighty don't take the Bogut/Montross/Bowie/McCullough/Reeves clone in this year's draft. 7 foot tall white guys not from Europe DON'T. PLAY. OUT.
-----------------------------------------------
So who should the Wolves take?
Greg Oden. And if he's not available, how about Kevin Durant?
May 11, 2007
From Oakland to Sac-Town, The Bay Area And Back Down, Cali Is With It Put They Mack Down, Gimme Love
There is something happening east of the Big Bridge, and it has nothing to do with Nick Fucking Swisher.
Ghetto Ball has returned to the NBA playoffs. And not a moment too soon.
Ok, I have been absolutely remiss on posting lately, due mostly to cramming my synapse gaps with fermented grape in the Santa Ynez Valley. But nothing lasts forever, and how long is forever anyway? I'm roaring back across the Grand Expanse to deliver a message of hope:
Golden State plays the kind of basketball that would make Hot Sauce happy.
I think it's important, after such a monumental upset in the first round, to define what I mean by "Ghetto Ball". I'll attempt to use numbers, charts and pictures, but essentially, the words will make the most sense.
Ghetto Ball is, in its purest form, a style of basketball played by 5 individuals who never pass and never run a single coherent play. It is run by a coach who, for practice, throws a few racks of balls out onto the court and says "go". It lacks a defensive system completely. It teaches and preaches offensive skills and freakish athleticism. In a nutshell, it's Baron Davis, Stephen Jackson, Al Harrington, Jason Richardson and Matt Barnes.
There is no passing. There is no offensive mindset. When the opposing team shoots, all 5 are scrambling for the rebound. Whoever gets it immediately sprints up-court for a fast break. No, it does not matter what the numbers are. I've seen Davis go one on four, and get his bucket.
Speaking of buckets, that's really all Ghetto Ball is, at the very core. Buckets. You gotta git your buckets. Why? Because if you don't, somebody else will, either on your team or whatever. When the ball is in your hand, the goal is to get it in the bucket, end of story. Passing just delays this.
Why am I so excited about Ghetto Ball? Because I love playground shit. I love shit talking for no reason other than to run your mouth (Sammy C, get at me dog!). I love Charles Oakley and Anthony Mason just going absolutely trash ball and punching people in the face. I love Ricky Davis shooting on his own basket to get a triple double. Anyone who has played the game knows that although those pickup games start out structured, eventually they devolve into gutter mouth and trying to one-up one another.
Think about this for a minute. What are some of the defining moments of your NBA fan career? I'll tell you a few of mine:
- Reggie Miller turning towards Spike Lee and just clowning him, right to his face, by throwing up the "choke" sign.
- Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen teaming up on Darrick Martin and not allowing him to cross half-court after he talked shit to them.
- Jordan against the Blazers in the Finals, when he couldn't physically miss a shot.
- Robert Horry, too many times, daggering a team at the end of a big game.
- Sam Cassell, running down the floor holding enormous imaginary testicles. And bobbing them up and down like we used to do on the playground.
- John Starks, raising hell with Jordan, then getting dunked on so much that it hurt me in Wisconsin.
- The Pistons, despite hearing non-stop that the Lakers were destined for the championship, coming out and completely destroying them in every way. Chauncey Billups hitting shots against whatever the Lakers were trying to stop him with, and dropping that cool smirk of his. Also Rasheed getting revenge on anyone who ever said a word about him.
------------------------------------------------------------------
At its core, basketball yearns to be ghetto ball. Some of the greatest performances have come because one player is just willing to get more ghetto than another one. Individuality is demonized in professional sports, when it's done for the wrong reason. That's bullshit. The NBA is completely individualized.... look at their marketing machine. It's not about the Rockets or the Wolves, it's all about McGrady, Yao, KG. Most of their success relies on their ability to get theirs when it counts. Think of this statement: "He can create his own shot". YOu know who can create their own shot? Anyone willing to stop passing to teammates for an entire game. Kobe "creates his own shot" every single time down the floor. So does Baron Davis. And Stephen Jackson. And Gary Trent.
Simmons maintains that this is a form of basketball not built for the playoffs, which I agree with, but I don't care. This is my favorite kind of basketball. The Warriors put up a hundred and goddamned twenty five points tonight. That's not "running". That's "putting the G back in Gangster" ball. You don't get 125 with an offensive plan. You get it because you can't get your guys to slow down.
-----------------------------------------
And so, in pictures:
Ghetto:
Not Ghetto:
Ghetto (both of them):
Not Ghetto:
Ghetto:
And, the King:
Ghetto Ball has returned to the NBA playoffs. And not a moment too soon.
Ok, I have been absolutely remiss on posting lately, due mostly to cramming my synapse gaps with fermented grape in the Santa Ynez Valley. But nothing lasts forever, and how long is forever anyway? I'm roaring back across the Grand Expanse to deliver a message of hope:
Golden State plays the kind of basketball that would make Hot Sauce happy.
I think it's important, after such a monumental upset in the first round, to define what I mean by "Ghetto Ball". I'll attempt to use numbers, charts and pictures, but essentially, the words will make the most sense.
Ghetto Ball is, in its purest form, a style of basketball played by 5 individuals who never pass and never run a single coherent play. It is run by a coach who, for practice, throws a few racks of balls out onto the court and says "go". It lacks a defensive system completely. It teaches and preaches offensive skills and freakish athleticism. In a nutshell, it's Baron Davis, Stephen Jackson, Al Harrington, Jason Richardson and Matt Barnes.
There is no passing. There is no offensive mindset. When the opposing team shoots, all 5 are scrambling for the rebound. Whoever gets it immediately sprints up-court for a fast break. No, it does not matter what the numbers are. I've seen Davis go one on four, and get his bucket.
Speaking of buckets, that's really all Ghetto Ball is, at the very core. Buckets. You gotta git your buckets. Why? Because if you don't, somebody else will, either on your team or whatever. When the ball is in your hand, the goal is to get it in the bucket, end of story. Passing just delays this.
Why am I so excited about Ghetto Ball? Because I love playground shit. I love shit talking for no reason other than to run your mouth (Sammy C, get at me dog!). I love Charles Oakley and Anthony Mason just going absolutely trash ball and punching people in the face. I love Ricky Davis shooting on his own basket to get a triple double. Anyone who has played the game knows that although those pickup games start out structured, eventually they devolve into gutter mouth and trying to one-up one another.
Think about this for a minute. What are some of the defining moments of your NBA fan career? I'll tell you a few of mine:
- Reggie Miller turning towards Spike Lee and just clowning him, right to his face, by throwing up the "choke" sign.
- Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen teaming up on Darrick Martin and not allowing him to cross half-court after he talked shit to them.
- Jordan against the Blazers in the Finals, when he couldn't physically miss a shot.
- Robert Horry, too many times, daggering a team at the end of a big game.
- Sam Cassell, running down the floor holding enormous imaginary testicles. And bobbing them up and down like we used to do on the playground.
- John Starks, raising hell with Jordan, then getting dunked on so much that it hurt me in Wisconsin.
- The Pistons, despite hearing non-stop that the Lakers were destined for the championship, coming out and completely destroying them in every way. Chauncey Billups hitting shots against whatever the Lakers were trying to stop him with, and dropping that cool smirk of his. Also Rasheed getting revenge on anyone who ever said a word about him.
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At its core, basketball yearns to be ghetto ball. Some of the greatest performances have come because one player is just willing to get more ghetto than another one. Individuality is demonized in professional sports, when it's done for the wrong reason. That's bullshit. The NBA is completely individualized.... look at their marketing machine. It's not about the Rockets or the Wolves, it's all about McGrady, Yao, KG. Most of their success relies on their ability to get theirs when it counts. Think of this statement: "He can create his own shot". YOu know who can create their own shot? Anyone willing to stop passing to teammates for an entire game. Kobe "creates his own shot" every single time down the floor. So does Baron Davis. And Stephen Jackson. And Gary Trent.
Simmons maintains that this is a form of basketball not built for the playoffs, which I agree with, but I don't care. This is my favorite kind of basketball. The Warriors put up a hundred and goddamned twenty five points tonight. That's not "running". That's "putting the G back in Gangster" ball. You don't get 125 with an offensive plan. You get it because you can't get your guys to slow down.
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And so, in pictures:
Ghetto:
Not Ghetto:
Ghetto (both of them):
Not Ghetto:
Ghetto:
And, the King:
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