July 5, 2007

I Heard Your Album And I Don't Believe A Word Of It

Corey Brewer somehow got into college - well, Florida, but still. I think I need to get that out up front, because here's his quote:

On if he’s thought about what number he’ll wear in the NBA, since #2 (his college number) is retired in Minnesota (Malik Sealy) :

I was hurt when I saw that number two was retired, but I guess I’m going to wear number 22 -- two plus two!

Ok, now we don't run a math blog here, but I think it's safe to say that two plus two is not quite 22.

The first interview I ever saw with Corey Brewer, he appeared to be high on weed. Not crazy high, just enough to make words come out of his mouth very slow and deliberately. It was like everything was monotone, and his eyes were obviously half-shut. My first reaction was that I didn't want someone like that on the Wolves, but then I saw some game footage of this year's tournament, and it looked like he plays pretty up-tempo, and can really shut down opponents on the wing. That's a good sign.

What the hell is the point of all of this? Nothing. It just leads into a few other items of note happening during this last week.

1. The Knicks Should Just See If Glenn Robinson Will Return Their Calls

Ok, do they have a single player on their team who isn't a volitale malcontent? I know that everyone is harping on this, but seriously. They add Zach Goddamned Randolph to a frontcourt of Eddy Curry and Jerome James. They dumped Steve Francis, but they've still got Stephon and Jamal Crawford clogging up the guard positions. When I called Mr. Szinewski on draft night, before I told him about the trade, I told him that the Knicks just made a trade, and to guess who that could be. I told him that he is the "perfect" guy for the Knicks, and he guessed Randolph in about 4 seconds. It's strange, because besides Artest, I cannot see another player going to the Knicks. I think they have all the clubhouse cancers in the entire NBA. Can we bring Jalen Rose out of retirement? Maybe Laettner is looking for work? There are other assholes out there who bring teams down (Telfair, Blount, Fortson), but there's really no other griping, non-trying superstar left for the Knicks to grab. Like Pokemon, they got em all!

2. Grant Hill Said He Wanted To Retire Last Year, So Naturally He Signs With The Suns/Spurs/Mavs

Whatever. He's old and broken, but he wants to play on a successful team (imagine that!), so he takes the easy route and signs for the quick fix. I was surprised at how cheap he came, but remember that Malone signed with the Lakers for 1.1 million, and Michael Finley went to the Spurs for what amounted to a bag of Piggin' Pork Rinds. How will he hold up in that always-in-motion offense? Well, I could throw on the purple and orange and average 15 points if Nash was feeding ME the rock every time down, so...


First of all, you just hired a bad coach. Don't be fooled. He's a bad coach. What, his days of taking Seton Hall to the sweet sixteen once every 4 years got you all lovey-dovey? Is it the rings with the Spurs, who also happen to employ THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER OF ALL TIME? Maybe it was that whole Spree thing, how you feel like Peej just got a raw deal because his superstar was suspended for an entire season. I would rather focus on the .452 winning percentage, and the 3-9 record in the playoffs. Anyone can be a good assistant, just look at Sidney Lowe.

Reaching beyond that though... the final decision came down to a choice between PJ and - wait for it - Dwane Casey. Ummmm..... never mind. Good call, Sonics!

It's obvious that Seattle is just rolling the dice on the whole thing right now, basically saying that their future lies in Kevin Durant's hands, and so they might as well start young and see if something clicks. I suppose that's just as good a method as anything else - hell it beats Cleveland's "WE'LL DO SO MANY DUMB MOVES SURROUNDING LEBRON THAT LEBRON WON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL ANYMORE" method. Or the Wolves "every single season we will start over and sign some goddamned piece of garbage for the mid-level exception and pretend that he's really good even though if he were really good he wouldn't have to sign the mid-level exception and everyone knows this including small children" method. I think it's funny whenever overweight sportswriters say that an NBA player is going to "mentor" a rookie, or he's going to "take him under his wing". Really? 95% of NBA players shower, dress, and go have dinner with their posse after a game and practice. The other 5% are Mark Madsen and Shane Battier. Honestly, and this isn't to start shit, but you think KG teaches Craig Smith post moves? You think he's out there like a dad feeding him the ball and tossing constant reinforcement? So with that said, I don't necessarily think they need to keep a veteran presence around to "bring the kid along", because - again - they tried that in Cleveland by having an old, dumb coach to bring LeBron along, and it didn't work because of his dumbness. Old isn't always better.

4. Bucks Seek Dialogue With Yi

That's an actual headline.

Ok, you just drafted a guy who obviously doesn't want to play for you. NORMALLY, I would be upset at the player at shout at him to suck it up and go play for the shitty team for 4 years and then sign a hog deal with the Bulls or something. But I guess I don't understand why Milwaukee drafted him in the first place. Let's put aside the fact that he should not be playing in the NBA, but rather in the CBA (Chair Basketball Association). In a draft this deep, does anyone think there is going to be a huge seperation between picks 4-8? Obviously the top two were locks, and the third was pretty set in stone too. Do you think you get something from Yi that you wouldn't get from Noah? Or Conley? All of the players drafted in that area are going to be quality players who can help struggling teams. With that in mind, why not just play darts, and let Yi fall to Chicago? Or Philadelphia? Or - wait, he said he wanted to play in a city with a lot of Chinese people? Well Yi, you picked the wrong year to enter the draft. Anyway, I think it's funny that they're stepping really lightly around this issue, and politely asking Yi for a nice little face to face chat... WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DRAFT SOMEONE ELSE? DIDN'T YOU KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

5. They gave Fred Hoiberg's number away

Nothing to say there, just a comment. It makes me sad. Fred should still wear his jersey even when he works in his office.

6. I Think Kevin McHale Should Just Stop Talking Out Loud

What a debacle the KG almost-trade was. The entire blame rests on Deadzo's shoulders - as usual. In what could've been a normal run-up to the draft, with normal analysis and normal trade speculation, he had to go fuck up no less than three potential trades, watch them plastered all over the front pages of every single sports website, and paralyze an entire fan base with utter fear. And then nothing happens. Do you have any idea the thoughts that flew through my head during that 72 hour stint? I completely ran the spectrum: from "I'll never cheer for, follow, or talk about the Timberwolves ever again if they trade KG" to "It's over, I need to get ready for the Al Jefferson era" to "Amare? Interesting..." to "Wait a minute, McHale even fucked up his fuck-up?" to "Wow, why do I even bother listening to him?".

I don't know how to accurately describe my frustration with Deadzo in regards to almost every single decision he has made in the past few years (let's remember that this year's draft was a success because Mr. Hoiberg was calling the shots), so I'll just link you to this page:

Laker Jim's Anti-Kevin McHale Page

No comments: