November 2, 2010

How Bad is Bad?

With their win last night, the San Antonio Spurs have now won 17 in a row and an astonishing 26 of the last 27 games against the Los Angeles Clippers.  Ouch.  That my friends just might be the definition of domination. A long-term ass whooping of historical proportions.

That might even make the Yankees domination of the Twins seem a little weak.  Maybe not.

Anyway, upon reading this gem, I decided to check to see if there were any teams that have dominated our own squad in a similar fashion.

I took a look at the Wolves splits against all the other teams in the NBA since The Season (2003-04), which marked the peak of this franchise.  The sampling is a bit smaller - only 6 seasons - but it's big enough for this here blog.

First off, some bigger picture numbers for you to chew on.

The Wolves record since The Season is a putrid 170-322. (Clippers are 195-297)

Of the 29 other NBA teams, the Wolves have played .500 ball against two clubs (Bulls, Pacers), and have won more than lost against five teams (Clippers, Nets, Knicks, Sixers, Kings).  Their record against the 22 other NBA teams is 112-277. Winning less than 29% of your games is not the definition of success.

So who's have the Wolves been totally dominated by? There are seven teams that have absolutely owned the Wolves over the past six seasons.

7. Portland Trailblazers
Record Against: 8-16 (.333)
Streak: L-12

Wow.  This is one I didn't really expect to see this high on the list.  Sure, the Blazers have been building a winner for the past 6 years, but I guess I just hadn't noticed that they just plain beat up on the Wolves night in and night out. The Wolves have lost 13 of 14 games coming into this season.

6. Houston Rockets
Record Against: 6-15 (.286)
Streak: L-11

What!? Yao and Tracy McGrady dominated the Wolves? I could understand Clyde and Dream, but Yao and T-Mac? The Injured Assassins? I think they averaged as many missed games per season as they did points. Apparently it didn't matter because the Wolves just can't win against their Western Conference foes.

5. Denver Nuggets
Record Against: 6-18 (.250)
Streak: L-12

This one really kills me.  Even though it hasn't been a rivalry since KG left, I still hate the Nuggets. I can't express how badly I want them to lose every game they play. Maybe that's overstating it, but still, this one hurts the most.  We absolutely owned the Nuggets in the playoffs for two years. It felt so good then.  Payback is a bitch I guess.

4. Los Angeles Lakers
Record Against: 5-16 (.238)
Streak: L-11

This one doesn't surprise me. At all. Kobe and the Lakers have owned the Wolves forever. They also happen to have won the last two NBA Champtionships. They've also won 12 of 13 against the Wolves. Yeah, Corey Brewer can neither play Kobe in the triangle offense, or guard Kobe at anything. Even tiddly winks.

3. Dallas Mavericks
Record Against: 4-18 (.182)
Streak: L-2

You might be saying, 'Dave, losing two in a row isn't a big deal.'  That's true, but the Mavs have won 14 of the last 15 "matchups" against the Wolves. When Dirk is involved the Wolves can't do anything. Well, other than fail down their legs until the final whistle blows.  Too bad Dallas screwed up that NBA Finals against the Heat way back when.  Beating the shit out of the Wolves don't get you no where, even if you are a star.

2. San Antonio Spurs
Record Against: 2-19 (.095)
Streak: L-12

Man, it just sucks. Tim Duncan and Greg Popovich have pretty much owned the NBA for the past decade. Even when they're not winning every other title, they just pile up wins. Against everyone. I don't feel so bad that they've owned us to.  They do what they have to do to stay successful and that's bitchslapping the bad teams. Twice.  What does hurt is losing 17 of 18.  I mean, the Wolves aren't Clippers bad. Yet.

Wait, the Spurs aren't number one on this list? Yeah, I was surprised when I finally compiled the numbers.  I was blown away by this one.

1. Toronto Raptors
Record Against: 0-12
Streak: L-12

I can't even begin to fathom this one. The Raps? Isaiah Thomas's old ballclub? Really!? They haven't beaten the Raptors since 03-04 - Chris Bosh's rookie year. Ouch. He's the biggest bitch in the NBA. Here's hoping the Wolves can put an end to this streak this season - and I'll count a win against the Heat as ending Chris Bosh's dominance of the Wolves.

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