July 31, 2007

Is That Alright, To Give My Gun Away When It's Loaded?

He gave the franchise away, passed it east like a rising sun, handed our memories to a group of fans who have no idea what they are in for. He sold our past, mortgaged our future, destroyed our present. We don't know why he's so incompetent, why he is allowed to continue, why he doesn't just try harder at his job. The frustration has now extended to a full-scale hatred, a seething burn spreading through every synapse.

I'm done with it.

The Wolves will continue to play basketball, that much is obvious. They'll even be in Minnesota for at least a few more years. But I won't be with them. I won't support a team run by a cretin, someone who performed the most despicable act that you can do to a fanbase.

Don't anybody compare this to anything that's ever happened before. Never has there existed a man as loyal and endearing as KG was to us. Don't say Vince, don't say Shaq, don't say Kobe. If you think this is Barkley, or AI, then you just don't know Minnesota. You don't know basketball around here.

I was there in 04 when he stood on the scorer's table, soaking in a wave of frenzy that had been 8 years coming. I watched him after Webber clanged the three ball, after Anthony Peeler had punched him, after Peja had ripped our hearts out. I watched him take the All-Star MVP, I watched him accept the NBA MVP. I watched him on Killborn with Sam and Spree. I bought his rookie draft card just to put it above the TV when the Wolves played. His armband was used to cover our microphone during recording sessions for a rap album. I saw him turn away Shawn Marion, dagger Darius Miles, shove Duncan to the floor, and cheer like never before for Marc Jackson's free throws in L.A. I watched him win 15 of the 17 regular season games I went to during 03-04, and every single time you couldn't even hear his name being announced. It was like that last season too. It will be like that in Boston.

Kirby's gone. KG took his place in the realm of true sports hero. Now that he's gone, I have nothing left. I cannot trust this team ever again. I cannot support them. They have done the unthinkable, the despicable, the horrible. Honestly, I don't know how any of you can go on either.

They traded away my hero. They traded away the best athlete in Minnesota sports history.

What else is there to say?

I Think I'll Disappear Now

Anger, rage running like a current, full and complete thoughts as crystal as a mirror, full expression follows.

Everything that transpired was according to Deadzo's design. He's degraded KG ever since the failed Sam and Spree experiment. Glen Taylor has done the same thing. They have been pissing in the fans' faces for over 10 years. They took a man who wanted nothing more with his life than to play basketball for one team for his entire career and build the strongest connection between fan and player of all time, they took this man and dumped him for ABSOLUTE FUCKING GARBAGE.

They are failures. They are complete and total failures. Deadzo fired a great coach, passed on innumerable deals during the last year of Spree's contract (one that would have brought Baron Davis) and sat on his fucking hands for 2 years while the rest of the NBA got WAY better.

This franchise used to be the laughingstock of the NBA. They flailed aimlessly during the draft (Hey everyone, Felton Spencer!), failed beyond recognition at the free agent market (Oh my god, we landed Thurl Bailey), and hired coaches better trained to fill coffee cups at IHOP.

And then along came KG.

Suddenly, within 3 years, we were in the playoffs. And then we were getting better. And then it was a 4 seed. And then it was a 1 seed. And then it was the conference finals. Against all odds, we took the Lakers to 6 with 2 and a half of the MV3. Since then, it's been a crash and burn like never before.

The trees can't grow without the sun in their eyes, and we can't live if we're too afraid to die.

I am not a hockey fan. I can't claim to follow the sport with any amount of gusto, although I enjoy it, to be sure. When the North Stars flew south, I can't claim to have wanted Norm Green to become deceased.

You hockey fans out there know what I'm talking about. I'm with you now. You can't embrace the Wild, and I'll never embrace the New Wolves.

Sure, yes, fine. Something will probably come along and restore faith. The natural cycle dictates that eventually the Wolves will be relevent again. I accept that another star will come along, and bring us forward into glory again.

But I can't do it anymore. I can't do anything but hate Deadzo more than any other sports figure of all my life. I have to sit here, miles above the earth, and burn with hatred, with such a nervous negative energy that I might smash this goddamned laptop. I have to suck it up, say goodnight, and get raging drunk. There's nothing else to do, no other direction. I have to unplug, and let the Wolves slip away from my life.

A Letter From Glen Taylor

Dear _______,

I write to you today with some momentous news. Earlier today, we decided to fundamentally change the direction of our team and trade Kevin Garnett. We acquired Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Ryan Gomes, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff and two first-round draft picks from Boston. We're excited about the new players that we have acquired and the potential that the new draft picks represent.

As with any great change, I am filled with mixed emotions. Sadness in seeing our franchise player depart but also great excitement in what the future holds. Our team is definitely young, but also extremely talented. Our core group of Randy Foye, Craig Smith, Rashad McCants, 2007 NBA Draft picks Corey Brewer and Chris Richard and the newly acquired players plus two future first-round picks have me energized about our long-term future.

Yes, I'll miss Kevin Garnett. For 12 years Kevin has been the face of our franchise. We have all watched him grow and mature from "The Kid" into "The Big Ticket" right before our very eyes. I appreciate everything he has done for this franchise; the blood, the sweat and the tears that he has shed on our behalf. I wish only the best for Kevin and his family.

However, this move was made in the best interest of the Minnesota Timberwolves and regaining our place among the best teams in the NBA. During the past three years, we have struggled unsuccessfully to assemble a team around Kevin that could bring us back to the playoffs. These years have been hard on all of us. During this time it has become increasingly apparent to me that given the complicated formulas needed to move and acquire players, we needed greater flexibility. To move our team forward, we will need the flexibility this trade provides.

This past spring, I sat down with the team's top executives and drafted a plan on how we wanted to rebuild our team. We evaluated our successes and failures over the years and looked to other franchises on how they built winning teams. The result of this reflection was the "Blueprint for the Future" that I shared with many of you. This plan outlined how we planned to rebuild our team. It was our acknowledgment that we had strayed from building a team that didn't just speak of character, but rather lived it. A team more focused on working as a team than seeking individual recognition.

We took that first step today. We know it won't be easy - nothing that is worthwhile ever is. We know that we are embarking on a journey that will be measured in years, not months. We understand that every team in professional sports is in a never-ending cycle of death and rebirth. I wholly believe that it is our time to give birth to a new team that will return our Timberwolves franchise to the elite of the NBA.

I appreciate your continued support as we undergo this transformation and urge you to follow our progress. I am convinced that you will like what you see and believe that it will mean only better days ahead. Please feel free to contact any of my staff with additional questions.


Glen Taylor

What's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

Sure, we all saw this coming, but I can’t believe how bad the deal is. I know McHale was in charge, so it comes as a surprise to me that I can’t believe the deal is as bad as it is. We give up our franchise to get a loafy underachiever, a tweener role player, a guy who belongs in jail or Italy, an old broken guy, and Harold Miner 1.1.

What’s the deal with McHale trading for guys we could’ve drafted. We passed on Gerald Green two years ago, so what makes him worth it now? Is it because we’re not sure that the guy we did take is going to pan out? He's thinking about the Ebi/Howard choice and reacting to it. Because that’s always a good reason to reach for someone. We have Craig Smith and Corey Brewer, so what do we need Ryan Gomes for? That and it sounds like he has no interest in staying past next year. Great. Let’s get him! I understand that Ratliff has to be involved in the trade because of his contract, but what are we going to do with that extra $12 million, sign a free agent. Who’s going to want to play here now? And Sebastian Fucking Telfair!? I can’t even wrap my mind around the fact that he is going to be a member of my basketball team. Why would you take his terrible attitude and legal troubles back in this deal? Why is this not Rajon Rando? You have the leverage here Kevin, you’re holding the Big Ticket. Tell your buddy Danny to take Bassy and shove him up your ass – err, I mean, his ass. It's like I always here, don't do business with friends. McHale seems like he's playing slow pitch softball when he should be playing hardball. I don't care if the guy is your friend atleast try not to get fleeced every time you deal with him.

I seriously can’t think of a worse deal. I didn’t think it was possible. Hey, atleast we got the draft pick back that we should’ve never traded in the first place. Oh, and a pick that will probably fall somewhere in the 20’s. Great. I guess they never said the saying ‘some things never cease to amaze me’ isn’t always used in a positive way.

More to come when this becomes official. Right now, Wolves nation is on suicide watch. And the mob is rallying around the burning stake reserved for Deadzo’s corpse.

July 30, 2007

Scandalous, Money Greed and Lust, In This Trife Life, There Ain't Nobody You Can Trust

Here we sit again.

Do I even need to type anything at this point? I'm in the enemy's camp, as they celebrate around me. Their dreams are about to be realized. They have no idea what they are in for. An energy bolt is about to shoot through the Fleet Center like they have never seen. Banners could hang. Glory returned to the city of wind.

And back home, it's like bullets in the breeze.

I don't know how else to say this, I don't know what direction to go in, I can only say that my love for this franchise will die, my fanaticism will wink out like a ship's light in a storm. I'm not rational enough to explain what's going to happen. I'm not clear-headed enough to see this through to the logical conclusion.

I drop to sleep tonight deep behind enemy lines. By morning, this could be my favorite basketball town. We could see the arrival of the Kid who became the Man. I'm excited for them, I truly am.

I'm not going to ever give money to the Wolves as long as Deadzo is in charge, if this happens. I'm done supporting them until he leaves.

Luckily, I'm much younger than him. I can wait.

July 18, 2007

So....Here We Are, Huh?

This has been an interesting week for the Wolves and their fans. We got to see our young guys light it up in Vegas, going 4-1 for the week. Foye lived up to his reputation as the 2006 MVP in Vegas and Craig Smith showed us all why we fell in love with him last season by leading the team with 21.8 point per contest. Corey Brewer showed us why we drafted him, as well as why he wasn't a top-3 pick by grabbin 9.6 rebounds per game and shooting a morbid 28% from the floor. Chris Richard looks like another Craig Smith and McCants showed flashes of his potential to both shoot his team in and out of games.

Why is all that important to know? Because Glen Taylor has finally made a decision about the direction of his franchise for next year: They're going young.

I love it. I've been waiting for it since 2005. I spent all last season praying for it. Instead of slugs like Mike James, Troy Hudson, and Marko Jaric eating up minutes next to KG, the kids will get their shot at developing their skills. Sure, the record may stumble a bit, but it can't get much worse than last years 32 wins - we're not Atlanta for cripes sake. McCants, Foye, Smith, and Brewer will all be big parts of this team which is exciting.

And you know what? According to Glen Taylor, KG is okay with that, which is even more exciting.

So instead of Huddy and Marko crying about their rolls on the team, we'll have a bunch of fired up youngsters surrounding one of the top-10 talents in the NBA. If nothing else, we should see more fire and fight out of this squad this season and that is enough to get me excited about the Wolves.

July 15, 2007

Wolves/Griz NBA Summer League

I watched this game yesterday on NBA TV. Below are the notes I took during the first couple 10 minute quarters.

1st Quarter

8 seconds in, McCants defensive foul
Brewer almost with a rebound dunk put back
Brewer called spitting image of Chris Rock by announcers
Brewer can play
Foye with his second "3"
Chris Richard kind of still figuring it out
Foye with another "3"
Brewer with a block, Foye with a fast break lay-up
Wolves get ball back, Foye with a another "3"
I like Brewer, Foye, Smith
Transition game working very well
Ryan Bowen shooting free throws, I don't know him
Quarter ends with Wolves having 32 points

2nd Quarter

McCants just seems a step slow today
McCants hits a "3"
Cleeves in the game, he's all business, it is obvious he wants to get back to the NBA, badly
McCants with another "3", I would like to see better defense from him
Brewer leads fast break, nice pass to player streaking down the lane
GT Luke just might have a chance in this league to get a contract
Quarter ends


Did I mention I like this Brewer kid? Foye will be fun to watch. God, Smith is just big and cut and . . . good. Wolves will have a decent team, too bad they are in the Group of Death.

July 10, 2007

The Children of Summer

So the Wolves summer league season is under way and so far it’s looking pretty good. Of course they’ve only played one game. Against the Hornets. With the only notable player being their first round pick Julian Wright in uniform. These are games I wish I could watch, but I only have box scores and other people’s accounts of the actual games to go on. My analysis can’t be that good but I’ll share my thoughts on what I’ve read.

Wolves 85, Hornets 83 (OT)

First off I like winning, even if it’s basically pick-up games made up of teams of guys, most of whom will not be in the NBA in three months. I also like winning close games. Especially when there are youngsters neck deep in the waning moments of the game.

Corey Brewer won the game with a driving lay-up with 12 seconds left. That’s a sentence I really like to read for three reasons. First off, Corey Brewer is continuing his winning ways at the next level, never mind the lack-luster talent. Secondly, a Timberwolves player did not settle for a jump shot in the final seconds of a game. Lastly, Corey Brewer did something that scouts had previously proclaimed as a weakness: he took his man off the dribble. Now, I realize, that this was only one play, but it still is nice to read about because of the reasons listed above. I’m sure Brew will have some downs this summer but there’s no start like a good start.

Craig Smith played like a beast. 25 points and 7 rebounds. He did his damage by punishing the Hornets in the paint. HE SCORED NEAR THE BASKET!!! That’s also something the Wolves dearly need. Everyone knows he’s a stud but I think he will continue to grow this season, possibly into the physical banger KG needs beside him.

Chris Richard and Luke Schenscher did some damage of their own. I think the boys – I mean Fred Hoiberg – may have scored another second round gem in the mold of Craig Smith. They combined for 18 points and 15 rebounds while only taking 12 shots (converting 7 of them). I really like that kind of production while leaving plenty of shots for everyone else, ala Elton Brand back in his Bulls days.

Rashad McCants quite make a jump-shot, but he’ll come around. I hope. I can only assume his timing is still off from a busy offseason of rehab and that he’s putting a lot of pressure on himself to have a good summer because he feels like he has a lot to prove to the team. Once he settles down he’ll start making all those lovely jump-shots we all know he’s capable of making. He’s the only guy on the roster that can consistently put the ball in the hoop from 20 feet and out which would help unclog the paint for KG, Foye, and Brewer.

Don’t Make Such A Big Deal

I realize I just spent a page blathering about the summer league but the media really likes to take the results and spin them around. OH MY GOD GREG ODEN IS GOING UNDER THE KNIFE AND HE’S GOING TO DIE AND THE BLAZERS ARE GOING TO DIE AND DEATH AND DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!

Okay, so seriously? He’s having his tonsils out. It’s cool. He won’t die, I promise Charlie Walters, he’ll be fine. Not to mention how much they love to talk about how he and Durant haven’t “played up to par” yet. Really? They’re 19. They’ve spent the past 10 years beating up on guys that were half their size and 1/5 their talent. Now it’s just guys with ¼ their talent. Just because they aren’t putting up Wilt and Russell numbers after two games in the summer league doesn’t mean they’re developing slowly. It certainly took me more than two days to figure out I couldn’t come to work hung over like I did in college. It worked out for me.

They’ll be fine.

July 9, 2007


The owner of the Timberwolves owns a business, not a basketball team. If there isn't a shake-up in the front office this year, I don't know when there will be one. Owner bought the team back in 94-95. According to Forbes in 2005, the franchise was worth 303 million. Not a bad return on investment for a 89 million dollar purchase. That is, unless you look at this chart. I read somewhere Forbes had the 2007 franchise at 308 million. Simple math puts that rate of return at less than one percent over the past two years. Not good business. Notice the nice pop from 03 to 04 for the Wolves.

I have to plead ignorance here. I do not know the ins and outs of revenue sharing and how NBA owners make money. Are ratings during the playoffs more important than your team winning? I honestly don't know.

I do see when Shaq went East and Lebron graduated to the NBA by looking at the charts. Coincidence, I honestly don't know. Maybe the NBA has plateau-ed in the good ol' US and A.

There is my logic for a change. Not bad drafts (or NO drafts), not bad trades (wait, they get Sam C. AND a draft pick), just business. That's all.

I go by Dickfer, but I have been referred to in previous blogs as Potsy and Dr. HotWings.

July 5, 2007

I Heard Your Album And I Don't Believe A Word Of It

Corey Brewer somehow got into college - well, Florida, but still. I think I need to get that out up front, because here's his quote:

On if he’s thought about what number he’ll wear in the NBA, since #2 (his college number) is retired in Minnesota (Malik Sealy) :

I was hurt when I saw that number two was retired, but I guess I’m going to wear number 22 -- two plus two!

Ok, now we don't run a math blog here, but I think it's safe to say that two plus two is not quite 22.

The first interview I ever saw with Corey Brewer, he appeared to be high on weed. Not crazy high, just enough to make words come out of his mouth very slow and deliberately. It was like everything was monotone, and his eyes were obviously half-shut. My first reaction was that I didn't want someone like that on the Wolves, but then I saw some game footage of this year's tournament, and it looked like he plays pretty up-tempo, and can really shut down opponents on the wing. That's a good sign.

What the hell is the point of all of this? Nothing. It just leads into a few other items of note happening during this last week.

1. The Knicks Should Just See If Glenn Robinson Will Return Their Calls

Ok, do they have a single player on their team who isn't a volitale malcontent? I know that everyone is harping on this, but seriously. They add Zach Goddamned Randolph to a frontcourt of Eddy Curry and Jerome James. They dumped Steve Francis, but they've still got Stephon and Jamal Crawford clogging up the guard positions. When I called Mr. Szinewski on draft night, before I told him about the trade, I told him that the Knicks just made a trade, and to guess who that could be. I told him that he is the "perfect" guy for the Knicks, and he guessed Randolph in about 4 seconds. It's strange, because besides Artest, I cannot see another player going to the Knicks. I think they have all the clubhouse cancers in the entire NBA. Can we bring Jalen Rose out of retirement? Maybe Laettner is looking for work? There are other assholes out there who bring teams down (Telfair, Blount, Fortson), but there's really no other griping, non-trying superstar left for the Knicks to grab. Like Pokemon, they got em all!

2. Grant Hill Said He Wanted To Retire Last Year, So Naturally He Signs With The Suns/Spurs/Mavs

Whatever. He's old and broken, but he wants to play on a successful team (imagine that!), so he takes the easy route and signs for the quick fix. I was surprised at how cheap he came, but remember that Malone signed with the Lakers for 1.1 million, and Michael Finley went to the Spurs for what amounted to a bag of Piggin' Pork Rinds. How will he hold up in that always-in-motion offense? Well, I could throw on the purple and orange and average 15 points if Nash was feeding ME the rock every time down, so...


First of all, you just hired a bad coach. Don't be fooled. He's a bad coach. What, his days of taking Seton Hall to the sweet sixteen once every 4 years got you all lovey-dovey? Is it the rings with the Spurs, who also happen to employ THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER OF ALL TIME? Maybe it was that whole Spree thing, how you feel like Peej just got a raw deal because his superstar was suspended for an entire season. I would rather focus on the .452 winning percentage, and the 3-9 record in the playoffs. Anyone can be a good assistant, just look at Sidney Lowe.

Reaching beyond that though... the final decision came down to a choice between PJ and - wait for it - Dwane Casey. Ummmm..... never mind. Good call, Sonics!

It's obvious that Seattle is just rolling the dice on the whole thing right now, basically saying that their future lies in Kevin Durant's hands, and so they might as well start young and see if something clicks. I suppose that's just as good a method as anything else - hell it beats Cleveland's "WE'LL DO SO MANY DUMB MOVES SURROUNDING LEBRON THAT LEBRON WON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL ANYMORE" method. Or the Wolves "every single season we will start over and sign some goddamned piece of garbage for the mid-level exception and pretend that he's really good even though if he were really good he wouldn't have to sign the mid-level exception and everyone knows this including small children" method. I think it's funny whenever overweight sportswriters say that an NBA player is going to "mentor" a rookie, or he's going to "take him under his wing". Really? 95% of NBA players shower, dress, and go have dinner with their posse after a game and practice. The other 5% are Mark Madsen and Shane Battier. Honestly, and this isn't to start shit, but you think KG teaches Craig Smith post moves? You think he's out there like a dad feeding him the ball and tossing constant reinforcement? So with that said, I don't necessarily think they need to keep a veteran presence around to "bring the kid along", because - again - they tried that in Cleveland by having an old, dumb coach to bring LeBron along, and it didn't work because of his dumbness. Old isn't always better.

4. Bucks Seek Dialogue With Yi

That's an actual headline.

Ok, you just drafted a guy who obviously doesn't want to play for you. NORMALLY, I would be upset at the player at shout at him to suck it up and go play for the shitty team for 4 years and then sign a hog deal with the Bulls or something. But I guess I don't understand why Milwaukee drafted him in the first place. Let's put aside the fact that he should not be playing in the NBA, but rather in the CBA (Chair Basketball Association). In a draft this deep, does anyone think there is going to be a huge seperation between picks 4-8? Obviously the top two were locks, and the third was pretty set in stone too. Do you think you get something from Yi that you wouldn't get from Noah? Or Conley? All of the players drafted in that area are going to be quality players who can help struggling teams. With that in mind, why not just play darts, and let Yi fall to Chicago? Or Philadelphia? Or - wait, he said he wanted to play in a city with a lot of Chinese people? Well Yi, you picked the wrong year to enter the draft. Anyway, I think it's funny that they're stepping really lightly around this issue, and politely asking Yi for a nice little face to face chat... WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DRAFT SOMEONE ELSE? DIDN'T YOU KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

5. They gave Fred Hoiberg's number away

Nothing to say there, just a comment. It makes me sad. Fred should still wear his jersey even when he works in his office.

6. I Think Kevin McHale Should Just Stop Talking Out Loud

What a debacle the KG almost-trade was. The entire blame rests on Deadzo's shoulders - as usual. In what could've been a normal run-up to the draft, with normal analysis and normal trade speculation, he had to go fuck up no less than three potential trades, watch them plastered all over the front pages of every single sports website, and paralyze an entire fan base with utter fear. And then nothing happens. Do you have any idea the thoughts that flew through my head during that 72 hour stint? I completely ran the spectrum: from "I'll never cheer for, follow, or talk about the Timberwolves ever again if they trade KG" to "It's over, I need to get ready for the Al Jefferson era" to "Amare? Interesting..." to "Wait a minute, McHale even fucked up his fuck-up?" to "Wow, why do I even bother listening to him?".

I don't know how to accurately describe my frustration with Deadzo in regards to almost every single decision he has made in the past few years (let's remember that this year's draft was a success because Mr. Hoiberg was calling the shots), so I'll just link you to this page:

Laker Jim's Anti-Kevin McHale Page