OK, so here's the situation:
This is an article that was written on ESPN.com by somebody named Chris Broussard.
The summary, if I may be so bold, reads like this:
1. Nobody who covers the NBA actually knows anything about coaching styles... they are lazy journalists who don't understand the game because they haven't played it.
YES OK THAT IS A GOOD POINT.
2. I, on the other hand, understand basketball because I have played it.
I AM WITH YOU GO AHEAD AND DROP KNOWLEDGE.
3. Mike Brown is a good coach because, uh, he "relates to his stars" well and "the Cavs are good at defense and rebounding."
YOU JUST BECAME THE EXACT THING YOU RAILED AGAINST EARLIER IN THE ARTICLE.
Listen, I fully agree that most everyone who writes about the NBA is incredibly lazy and says things like "the Celtics are playing with the heart of champions" and "Kevin Love is a good basketball player because he has such good stats". I accept that. The NBA is fun to write about because you don't have to know any stats... you just watch a game and say "Oooooooo that Kevin Durant sure can shoot it!" and you're off. But if you CALL OUT those people who do that, then you can't do it.
And for the record, Mike Brown is not a very good coach. He's average. He has no discernable offensive system, and his defense is good because of LeBron. Without the talent on his team, he would not be successful. Top tier coaches are able to guide teams to a specific style that exceeds their talent... or exploits opponents' weaknesses. Mike Brown doesn't do that.
Ok, then I read the first few paragraphs of this garbage.
I don't need to go into why that whole premise sucks, but let's just say this... the concept that the Celtics and the Bulls are going to play an epic playoff series just because the Bulls are "up and coming" and the Celtics are "aging" is only valid if it is true, which it is not. The Celtics' best players are guys like Rondo, Davis, Perkins... etc. Without KG, the only olds on the team are Ray and Pierce. The rest are young bucks. But again, we don't need to waste ink on this... Simmons is a homer and ignorant to everything about the NBA save salaries and Boston, so yeah.
THE POINT OF THIS ENTIRE POST
I'm listening to Hubie Brown covering this Cavs game and last night I heard Doug Collins. How is it possible that these two men know so much about the way that basketball is played? Their knowledge so outstrips any of the analysis I have ever read in print, ever, and they say it every night. And it's always fresh, always dynamic. See, that's the draw of the NBA, in a nutshell... the fact that it's always changing, that sometimes there are upsets because of the flow of the game and the changing dynamics. And these guys are right there, calling it out as it happens, identifying weaknesses and trends. So why when I read JA Adande does he sound 1% as smart as Hubie? Comparing Doug Collins to Bill Simmons in terms of overall sport knowledge is like comparing Stephen Hawking to Joe Theismann.
My recommendation: just watch the games. Don't read any of this fucking filth out there. I haven't read a good NBA column in years (though I will stubbornly give Simmons props for his article re: All Star Weekend this year, as it identified things that nobody else is talking about) and it's getting worse. The true talent is on television. Is that the way it's supposed to be?
April 24, 2009
April 20, 2009
Sell A Brate
Boston, after defeating the 7th seeded Bulls to tie the series at 1 on a last second heave by Ray Allen, just celebrated like they took home the trophy. KG pointing and calling out the other team, Ray mugging like he just won MVP, Doc pumping his fist like a stupid child.
Play like a champion today.
Play like a champion today.
April 18, 2009
NBA Officiating Is Garbage
OK, wow. The Bulls just won the game, despite Team Stern calling a 3 second violation and a foul on every single important Boston possession. Good job by Pierce though... way to wrap them hands 'round that neck.
I hate Boston infinitely more when they don't have KG. I wish for them to lose in 4.
I hate Boston infinitely more when they don't have KG. I wish for them to lose in 4.
The NBA Playoffs have begun
And so has "NBA Playoff Officiating".
Wow, so is it possible for Boston to lose at home? Even though they deserve to? No. No it's not
Wow, so is it possible for Boston to lose at home? Even though they deserve to? No. No it's not
March 17, 2009
The "leaders" are in control here, pending the return of logic
It's the way this nation was populated with Anglos. It's the way sports teams were created and expanded. It all started in the east, then moved west. For sports, so many of the "leaders" are still in the east. So when a prime time game begins out here in the west, the "leaders" are already dozing in their armchair...Steak-Ums grease on the paper plate. It's the 13th time you've heard that NBA promo, so it'll lull you right to sleep.
College basketball is played all over this land, but it is a truth that there are simply more schools in the east. This doesn't mean the "leaders" don't acknowledge good teams out west. They'd simply have to play earlier, such as when UCLA played some Saturday games beginning at 10AM. The "leaders" would never dream of forcing anyone near them to do that, but how else can they try to watch west coast schools? By the late afternoon in the east, they're in the kitchen trying to figure out how to wrap bacon around the burger. So, the "leaders" include western schools in their tournament, but only because they have to. What they don't have to do is place them all in the west. Sure, UCLA was left in California last year on the road to another Final Four. But these sites were already chosen in advance. And, according to the "leaders," Anaheim is in Los Angeles.
This year, the "leaders" righted themselves and made sure the only home court love for the tournament came from the east. To wit:
#8 Ohio State, playing first and possibly second round games in Dayton. 70 miles from campus.
This would mean something more if OSU was a solid home team. Despite the Dayton Arena being smaller than OSU's home, it shouldn't be a surprise if their fans urge on a victory over a better team. It also shouldn't be a surprise that we're playing in Dayton - the "leaders" put games here 3 times this decade, and the intellectually challenged play-in game is here every year.
#2 Duke, #1 North Carolina, playing first and certainly second round games in Greensboro. 55 miles from campus.
Hoo wee, do the leaders love the ACC! And they love them so much, they make sure there's always a venue right by a majority of the schools. Sure, the conference has expanded up and down the eastern seaboard, but who cares? Most of the schools are still in the Carolinas, and they'll get in (no matter what, they'll let them in). The state of North Carolina hosted games nine out of the 10 years...of course, some states did 10 times but NOT every year. (Remember, the city of Los Angeles scares the shit out of the "leaders"). Ironically, the last time the University of Minnesota made it to the tournament, they were placed in East Region in Charlotte. Wow, who was the top seed in the region? NORTH CAROLINA. And how about that "pod system" the "leaders" discovered? It placed Duke, in the South region, in Charlotte for their first two games.
And now, the bullshit winner...
#3 Villanova, playing first and second round games in Philadelphia, 16 MILES FROM CAMPUS.
There used to be a rule that a campus had to be a certain amount of miles away from the site. Erase that rule, since the "leaders" could give a shit about what other schools think.
College basketball is played all over this land, but it is a truth that there are simply more schools in the east. This doesn't mean the "leaders" don't acknowledge good teams out west. They'd simply have to play earlier, such as when UCLA played some Saturday games beginning at 10AM. The "leaders" would never dream of forcing anyone near them to do that, but how else can they try to watch west coast schools? By the late afternoon in the east, they're in the kitchen trying to figure out how to wrap bacon around the burger. So, the "leaders" include western schools in their tournament, but only because they have to. What they don't have to do is place them all in the west. Sure, UCLA was left in California last year on the road to another Final Four. But these sites were already chosen in advance. And, according to the "leaders," Anaheim is in Los Angeles.
This year, the "leaders" righted themselves and made sure the only home court love for the tournament came from the east. To wit:
#8 Ohio State, playing first and possibly second round games in Dayton. 70 miles from campus.
This would mean something more if OSU was a solid home team. Despite the Dayton Arena being smaller than OSU's home, it shouldn't be a surprise if their fans urge on a victory over a better team. It also shouldn't be a surprise that we're playing in Dayton - the "leaders" put games here 3 times this decade, and the intellectually challenged play-in game is here every year.
#2 Duke, #1 North Carolina, playing first and certainly second round games in Greensboro. 55 miles from campus.
Hoo wee, do the leaders love the ACC! And they love them so much, they make sure there's always a venue right by a majority of the schools. Sure, the conference has expanded up and down the eastern seaboard, but who cares? Most of the schools are still in the Carolinas, and they'll get in (no matter what, they'll let them in). The state of North Carolina hosted games nine out of the 10 years...of course, some states did 10 times but NOT every year. (Remember, the city of Los Angeles scares the shit out of the "leaders"). Ironically, the last time the University of Minnesota made it to the tournament, they were placed in East Region in Charlotte. Wow, who was the top seed in the region? NORTH CAROLINA. And how about that "pod system" the "leaders" discovered? It placed Duke, in the South region, in Charlotte for their first two games.
And now, the bullshit winner...
#3 Villanova, playing first and second round games in Philadelphia, 16 MILES FROM CAMPUS.
There used to be a rule that a campus had to be a certain amount of miles away from the site. Erase that rule, since the "leaders" could give a shit about what other schools think.
Let's make a new rule:
There are much more serious crimes that the NCAA and its "leaders" have committed over the years. (And to suggest giving one school home games when to have a rule which states they can't and then they do it anyway...well, that is smaller potatoes and more how the NBA works. And that's a whole different ball of poo.) Whether it was their TV contracts for football (forcing schools to go court to show how it broke anti-trust laws, which was true), or not overseeing college football playoffs or placing "sanctions" on schools for violations and yet letting them field competitive teams. Hell, last year's national champion, Kansas, is still under probation!
- As long as a school makes the NCAA a lot of money, they will adjust penalties accordingly.
- The NCAA will accord said schools an easier shot at more money, and politely ignore others.
- My favorite example - Florida International has 13 sports on probation. Shouldn't the athletic department be shut down for a few years?!
Therefore, the rule is
The NCAA and its "leaders" are pretty much bullshit.
March 12, 2009
I'm Looking In My Mirror So I Can See Who Can See Me
In basketball, especially in the NCAA, the unexpected is usually to be expected. It's the reason the tournament is so magnetic - that idea that anything can happen and usually does. Look at last year in particular. Did the Jayhawks deserve to win the title? Absolutely not. They should've lost twice in the Final Four. If Memphis spent as much time practicing free throws and how to close out a game as they did alley-ooping to each other and not going to class, they would've walked.
So it's with that understanding that I'm pulling for the Gophers almost as much as I am with any team in my life, and it makes no goddamn sense at all.
Let's do a little run-down. I invest a certain amount of energy and time into each team I follow hoping to profit either by:
1. Running to the refrigerator and beating it senseless when AJ jacks a 3 run dong in the 8th inning in Oakland (this would be filed under "emotional profit")
2. Making money on Niagra, because I ran both the Plats AND the Lats.
So, that being said, I invest an inordinate amount of energy in the Twins. I know this isn't the space to go into that, but it's true. I listen to or watch nearly every game during the summer, constantly keep tabs on stats and movements. That, in turn, keeps me very knowledgeable about MLB in general, and I sometimes (it's rare) get invested in other teams and am happy to see them succeed (I was particularly happy about Philadelphia, because I thought they were the best team for most of the season, and because, hey, it's Philly). THE POINT, JACK, is that when Denard Span hit that fucking triple down the line against the Sox in the Dome, and Gomez flew around the bases (scoring from first before the ball was in the infield), I about popped my ass through my britches. Loud screams were heard throughout my neighborhood. I live for these moments. They are the only reason I put in this much time. And when the time comes, and they hoist that banner, and Joe and Justin stand up front with Gardy to accept that trophy and Pat Neshek rides in a fucking parade, I will be happier than I would if I were ever to have a child. Truth hurts.
The Pack have a special place in my heart, for sure, and rooting for them in this environment just constantly reminds me how much better my life has turned out than those around me. "Oh, you've got that house in Wright County? Interesting, hey how are the Purple this year?" The thing about the Pack is that I am the biggest fair-weather fan out there though... when they are going good I'm up on them every week, listening to every interview and digging in on Sunday. This year? I sometimes just sat and listened to Neil Diamond records rather than watch their games. Often, I didn't even know if they were playing or not. I am able to turn it off extremely quickly. If only Vikings fans could share that ability. Maybe "mouths closed" would be a good policy.
(there is no professional basketball team that plays in this state, so I won't be talking about that)
That brings us to Gopher Basketball. You have to understand something... I have been on an absolute rollercoaster with this team over the past 15 years. The year before I was starting at the U was 1996-97. HEY NOW. Does anyone like cheating? I always knew I wanted to go to here, so when they got that 1 seed and went to the Final Four, well shit, I was very, very happy. When it all came tumbling down and we were left with Horse's Ass Munson, and the best player on the team was Joel Przybilla, and he hated class just as much as he hated life, it was very hard at first. But that's what losing does to you. It starts out really hard, and then it becomes routine. Just ask Wolves fans in 2 years (shit, ask them now, if you can find them). You get used to it. Memories of success fade. But it's always lurking there, you know the program has the tools to turn it around (step 1: fire Munson's fuckin ass because a loser is a loser), and so while the losing is acceptable, and you don't kid yourself into thinking they'll be any good, you keep tabs on the team... just in case.
Well, that was me earlier this decade... pretty much didn't care about the team but wanted the best for them, of course. Not like the Wolves, who I actively root against and think should move somewhere else. Or Gopher football, who I root against for gambling purposes (Thanks Mangino!). No, I always want the basketball squad to do well... they deserve it. And when Vince Grier came along in 2005 and was having himself donuts all season, SHIT! It was a marvelous experience. Even though you knew 1) that it was a complete aberration, and 2) they would never, ever, ever be able to compete against better teams, it was still damn fun to watch. Vince went off so many times during the season... just the old "Fuck this, it's all me from now on" attitude, and he was hooking them in from 20 feet, because why not? You're a JuCo transfer bound for Tel Aviv, better jit your buckets now, when people are watching. After that year, predictably, it was back to the basement.
I don't know if we'll ever be able to put into words or context just what the Tubby hiring meant, but I'll give it a shot. It was a coup of the highest order, the kind of thing that 1) DOESN'T HAPPEN in the Big 10 and 2) DOESN'T HAPPEN to the Gophers, ever. Big names don't come to the Big 10 (unless you count Kelvin Sampson, and he could count, on never coaching again). So when Tubby rolls into Minneapolis, you think guys like Izzo and Ryan aren't shitting their pants, thinking "Christ, in 3 years we're going to have a fucking game on our hands"? You think the Big 10 as a unit doesn't just pop one in their undies? This is big time... national championship coaches don't grow on trees. When's the last time Bobby Knight took one home? 1987? And if he came to the Gophs, it would've been just as big as Tubby. Anyway, it was one of those moments that define rooting for the underdog... that moment that you know you've now got the upper hand (hang on, I'll tie this to today's game soon enough, you watch). Even though it was going to take time to come around, and his recruiting hadn't even begun, you just knew it was building. We were in the first quarter of a dog fight, and the Gophers, predictably, were going to start slow. But by the 4th quarter, grab your fuckin sack.
Here's a question: if opposing Big 10 coaches are so smart, how long is it going to take them to realize that Lawrence Westbrook is more Sam Cassell than Sam Fucking Cassell? Here's a guy who can't play in the first 3 quarters to save his ass, constantly takes bonehead shots at the wrong times, and then the 4th quarter comes around and you better just get a wheelbarrow, because those nuts are going to start jugglin. He's a guy who just has that swagger, that deep muscle knowledge of how to make shots when it counts. Let's not forget... the Gophs WIN that game against Michigan if Tubby doesn't call that timeout. We're not even on the bubble. I'm not saying it's a bad call by Tubby, far from it, but still. That ball was going down as sure as Bo Ryan makes a stupid face to a ref but doesn't do anything as his team pisses away another lead because they DON'T KNOW HOW TO BREAK THE PRESS. This is a guy who will come in handy in the tournament. He's a match, just waiting to rake across the sandpaper. And when it happens, he's seriously one of the top 20 most dangerous scorers in the NCAA.
Now then,
Why in god's name am I so pumped by this team? They play clown-ball, which is the opposite of ghetto ball. They muck up the games to the point where the first 50 points takes it, they play lock-down defense but can't shoot for shit (seriously, "Bulls-eye Blake"? Yeah, nice shot from your ass, but what, does he average 20% on 3s? 15%?) The way they play the game is ugly, and when you combine it with the rest of the Big 10, it's almost unwatchable. Or, I should say, it would be unwatchable. If I wasn't so goddamned invested in it. To me, it's like watching Eddie G on the mound.... it looks as awful as you can imagine, but somehow, he pulls it out, and nothing matters after that final out.
But there's always that moment. That time when, no matter what came before, or what the logic dictates SHOULD be happening, you know beyond any doubt that WE'VE. GOT. THE. UPPER. HAND. It takes a certain kind of team, and more specifically, a certain type of player. The Twins get it when they play the White Sox in September. The Pack got it quite a bit when Number Four was tossing. And the Wolves used to get it almost every game when Sammy Big Balls touched the rock in the 4th quarter. Well, it's happening now with Westbrook. No matter what happens, no matter how far they're down, no matter who missed practice or was duck-walking back on defense, when LW gets that ball, the unexpected is about to happen.
So, this win today likely gets them to next Thursday. And that's a good thing. Even though nobody but me enjoys the way they play the game, hell, then that's how it is. We're still early in this game, folks. The Gophs just punched their ticket for the first time in 4 years. Next year will be a 5 seed. The year after that we might be talking about Izzo licking the under-thunder. It's a trajectory. And from here, it's only up.
They'll finish strong. But you wouldn't expect it any other way.
So it's with that understanding that I'm pulling for the Gophers almost as much as I am with any team in my life, and it makes no goddamn sense at all.
Let's do a little run-down. I invest a certain amount of energy and time into each team I follow hoping to profit either by:
1. Running to the refrigerator and beating it senseless when AJ jacks a 3 run dong in the 8th inning in Oakland (this would be filed under "emotional profit")
2. Making money on Niagra, because I ran both the Plats AND the Lats.
So, that being said, I invest an inordinate amount of energy in the Twins. I know this isn't the space to go into that, but it's true. I listen to or watch nearly every game during the summer, constantly keep tabs on stats and movements. That, in turn, keeps me very knowledgeable about MLB in general, and I sometimes (it's rare) get invested in other teams and am happy to see them succeed (I was particularly happy about Philadelphia, because I thought they were the best team for most of the season, and because, hey, it's Philly). THE POINT, JACK, is that when Denard Span hit that fucking triple down the line against the Sox in the Dome, and Gomez flew around the bases (scoring from first before the ball was in the infield), I about popped my ass through my britches. Loud screams were heard throughout my neighborhood. I live for these moments. They are the only reason I put in this much time. And when the time comes, and they hoist that banner, and Joe and Justin stand up front with Gardy to accept that trophy and Pat Neshek rides in a fucking parade, I will be happier than I would if I were ever to have a child. Truth hurts.
The Pack have a special place in my heart, for sure, and rooting for them in this environment just constantly reminds me how much better my life has turned out than those around me. "Oh, you've got that house in Wright County? Interesting, hey how are the Purple this year?" The thing about the Pack is that I am the biggest fair-weather fan out there though... when they are going good I'm up on them every week, listening to every interview and digging in on Sunday. This year? I sometimes just sat and listened to Neil Diamond records rather than watch their games. Often, I didn't even know if they were playing or not. I am able to turn it off extremely quickly. If only Vikings fans could share that ability. Maybe "mouths closed" would be a good policy.
(there is no professional basketball team that plays in this state, so I won't be talking about that)
That brings us to Gopher Basketball. You have to understand something... I have been on an absolute rollercoaster with this team over the past 15 years. The year before I was starting at the U was 1996-97. HEY NOW. Does anyone like cheating? I always knew I wanted to go to here, so when they got that 1 seed and went to the Final Four, well shit, I was very, very happy. When it all came tumbling down and we were left with Horse's Ass Munson, and the best player on the team was Joel Przybilla, and he hated class just as much as he hated life, it was very hard at first. But that's what losing does to you. It starts out really hard, and then it becomes routine. Just ask Wolves fans in 2 years (shit, ask them now, if you can find them). You get used to it. Memories of success fade. But it's always lurking there, you know the program has the tools to turn it around (step 1: fire Munson's fuckin ass because a loser is a loser), and so while the losing is acceptable, and you don't kid yourself into thinking they'll be any good, you keep tabs on the team... just in case.
Well, that was me earlier this decade... pretty much didn't care about the team but wanted the best for them, of course. Not like the Wolves, who I actively root against and think should move somewhere else. Or Gopher football, who I root against for gambling purposes (Thanks Mangino!). No, I always want the basketball squad to do well... they deserve it. And when Vince Grier came along in 2005 and was having himself donuts all season, SHIT! It was a marvelous experience. Even though you knew 1) that it was a complete aberration, and 2) they would never, ever, ever be able to compete against better teams, it was still damn fun to watch. Vince went off so many times during the season... just the old "Fuck this, it's all me from now on" attitude, and he was hooking them in from 20 feet, because why not? You're a JuCo transfer bound for Tel Aviv, better jit your buckets now, when people are watching. After that year, predictably, it was back to the basement.
I don't know if we'll ever be able to put into words or context just what the Tubby hiring meant, but I'll give it a shot. It was a coup of the highest order, the kind of thing that 1) DOESN'T HAPPEN in the Big 10 and 2) DOESN'T HAPPEN to the Gophers, ever. Big names don't come to the Big 10 (unless you count Kelvin Sampson, and he could count, on never coaching again). So when Tubby rolls into Minneapolis, you think guys like Izzo and Ryan aren't shitting their pants, thinking "Christ, in 3 years we're going to have a fucking game on our hands"? You think the Big 10 as a unit doesn't just pop one in their undies? This is big time... national championship coaches don't grow on trees. When's the last time Bobby Knight took one home? 1987? And if he came to the Gophs, it would've been just as big as Tubby. Anyway, it was one of those moments that define rooting for the underdog... that moment that you know you've now got the upper hand (hang on, I'll tie this to today's game soon enough, you watch). Even though it was going to take time to come around, and his recruiting hadn't even begun, you just knew it was building. We were in the first quarter of a dog fight, and the Gophers, predictably, were going to start slow. But by the 4th quarter, grab your fuckin sack.
Here's a question: if opposing Big 10 coaches are so smart, how long is it going to take them to realize that Lawrence Westbrook is more Sam Cassell than Sam Fucking Cassell? Here's a guy who can't play in the first 3 quarters to save his ass, constantly takes bonehead shots at the wrong times, and then the 4th quarter comes around and you better just get a wheelbarrow, because those nuts are going to start jugglin. He's a guy who just has that swagger, that deep muscle knowledge of how to make shots when it counts. Let's not forget... the Gophs WIN that game against Michigan if Tubby doesn't call that timeout. We're not even on the bubble. I'm not saying it's a bad call by Tubby, far from it, but still. That ball was going down as sure as Bo Ryan makes a stupid face to a ref but doesn't do anything as his team pisses away another lead because they DON'T KNOW HOW TO BREAK THE PRESS. This is a guy who will come in handy in the tournament. He's a match, just waiting to rake across the sandpaper. And when it happens, he's seriously one of the top 20 most dangerous scorers in the NCAA.
Now then,
Why in god's name am I so pumped by this team? They play clown-ball, which is the opposite of ghetto ball. They muck up the games to the point where the first 50 points takes it, they play lock-down defense but can't shoot for shit (seriously, "Bulls-eye Blake"? Yeah, nice shot from your ass, but what, does he average 20% on 3s? 15%?) The way they play the game is ugly, and when you combine it with the rest of the Big 10, it's almost unwatchable. Or, I should say, it would be unwatchable. If I wasn't so goddamned invested in it. To me, it's like watching Eddie G on the mound.... it looks as awful as you can imagine, but somehow, he pulls it out, and nothing matters after that final out.
But there's always that moment. That time when, no matter what came before, or what the logic dictates SHOULD be happening, you know beyond any doubt that WE'VE. GOT. THE. UPPER. HAND. It takes a certain kind of team, and more specifically, a certain type of player. The Twins get it when they play the White Sox in September. The Pack got it quite a bit when Number Four was tossing. And the Wolves used to get it almost every game when Sammy Big Balls touched the rock in the 4th quarter. Well, it's happening now with Westbrook. No matter what happens, no matter how far they're down, no matter who missed practice or was duck-walking back on defense, when LW gets that ball, the unexpected is about to happen.
So, this win today likely gets them to next Thursday. And that's a good thing. Even though nobody but me enjoys the way they play the game, hell, then that's how it is. We're still early in this game, folks. The Gophs just punched their ticket for the first time in 4 years. Next year will be a 5 seed. The year after that we might be talking about Izzo licking the under-thunder. It's a trajectory. And from here, it's only up.
They'll finish strong. But you wouldn't expect it any other way.
February 26, 2009
The Clippers can help you kill a couple of hours
Chris Erskine from the Los Angeles Times tries to review the mood at a recent Los Angeles Clippers game and either loses his mind or becomes completely sane. However you interpret this, it's quite the entertaining read.
http://www.latimes.com/news/columnists/la-sp-erskine26-2009feb26,0,1375239.column
http://www.latimes.com/news/columnists/la-sp-erskine26-2009feb26,0,1375239.column
February 19, 2009
Two Items For Local Basketball Teams
1. Hey Gophers, you wanna try going into half down by less than 15, errrrrrrrrrrrr?
2. Hey Wolves, you trading trash for trash, errrrrrrrrrrrr?
(sorry for the Dickfer-ness of this post)
2. Hey Wolves, you trading trash for trash, errrrrrrrrrrrr?
(sorry for the Dickfer-ness of this post)
January 29, 2009
January 28, 2009
My Lucky Day
Some days just end up better than others. Some days, you get to the bus stop just in time to catch your bus home, others you’re a half-block away when it goes by. Well, Tuesday was one of those good days. I didn’t sleep through my alarm, I got to the bus stop on time, and I happened to go to ESPN.com at the precise time that Stephon Marbury was participating in a live chat. BINGO!
I try not to miss any Starbury conversations because they usually end up in some crazy, nonsensical, rant about whatever thoughts are swimming in that guy’s head. And you KNOW how crazy he is. I decided to “record” the conversation in hopes he would provide some comical sustenance to my day. It didn’t turn out to be one of the more memorable Starbury outbursts, but there were a few items worth note. What follows is the parts of the conversation that inspired notes, thoughts, and reactions. The conversation in its entirety can be found here
Buzzmaster: (3:52 PM ET ) Stephon will be here soon!
Buzzmaster: (4:08 PM ET ) Sorry for the delay folks. We're tracking down Stephon right now.
Buzzmaster: (4:28 PM ET ) Stephon is here!
Stephon Marbury: (4:32 PM ET ) I am happy to explain to all my fans about the situation going on with the Knicks. To all you Knicks fan I still have a lot of love for you. I appreciate all the support you give me playing ball and with Starbury. With Starbury we are trying to do something for the community and make a product that everyonecan afford. As far as the situation with the team, it is nothing personal.
Okay, well, 30 minutes late on Starbury time is pretty good - he was advertised to arrive at 4. It’s like being an hour early. Also, here begins the Starbury Count. We’ll be recording how many times he mentions his fledgling business – I mean, it didn’t help Steve and Barry’s much, did it?
Starbury Count: 2
Chris (Mebane, North Carolina): With the relaunch of your shoes and clothing wear, will your products still be available at a local retail store and for the same price?
Stephon Marbury: (4:34 PM ET ) Yes we still have the same price at $14.92 and we have three lines, the signatures lines which is no more than $24.98 or less. We also have e-commerce, so anyone can access it all over the world. We are national and international. I am still working on going with Brick and Boarders and working with other retailers as we speak.
Of course one of the first questions is going to be a question about Starbury. Hey, I wanted MY question posted too, but I wasn’t willing to spoon feed Steph a reason to mention his company. Did he mention he sells shoes and clothing? Oh, and in case you’re unclear about international including national, he mentions both….
Starbury Count: 3
Peter: What was it like playing for Larry Brown?
Stephon Marbury: (4:38 PM ET ) It was tough because he demanded a lot. He is very hard on his PGs. Sometimes dealing with him off the court, with him speaking to the media about players, was difficult. But as I got older I learned he did not mean any harm and now I can accept it more than I did back then.
You mean, now that you don’t have to deal with Larry Brown anymore, you can handle it? So, as long as you don’t have to deal with something, you can handle it? Okay, just making sure we’re clear here.
Berk (NYC, NY): Steph, Why won't you consider taking a buyout and leave about 25% of your remaining contract on the table (as most players negotiating a buyout do)? Shouldn't you have to take a cut in pay so you can sign with the team you want to play for? And don't you think you are hurting your value in the free agent market?
Stephon Marbury: (4:41 PM ET ) I cannot say about my free agent value, but I think other teams know what I can do. The reason I am not taking 25% less is because I signed a contract. I did not come here saying I wanted to part ways with the team, they chose to do this. I do not feel like I should give my money back to them. They are the ones who want to go in another direction.
This post begins the “Their Fault” Counter. We’ll keep track of each time Steph throws the blame on someone else. I mean, THEY chose to do it, THEY are doing bad, THEY THEY THEY!
Their Fault Count: 2
Mikey NYC: What was up with your trip out to LA in December to watch the Knicks play the Lakers? Were you trying to send a message to the team? And if so what was the message?
Stephon Marbury: (4:42 PM ET ) I just wanted to see the game and enjoy it. I am still a Knicks fan at heart.
It’s their fault, but no, it’s cool, I’m still a fan. I’m a slug as an employee, but I really like them – they’re my favorite. But I refuse to do the job their paying for. Hey – FANS don’t HAVE to go to the games…
Jason (Philly): What was the general attitude in the locker room towards Isaih?
Stephon Marbury: (4:43 PM ET ) I guess guys saved face.
What? Yeah, I guess…?
Derek (Tucson, Az): If you were asked today to return to knicks and play for them. Would you play?
Stephon Marbury: (4:44 PM ET ) Tehy chose their direction and I am trying to move on and end the relationship, becasue D'Antoni wanted the relationship ended from the start of the year.
Their Fault Count: 3
JB ( Raleigh, Nc): What is the proudest moment in your basketball career?
Stephon Marbury: (4:45 PM ET ) I have two: 1) My high school championship and 2) Getting drafted.
High school? Really? I guess, that’s the ONLY place he’s EVER won, as far as basketball goes. I realize that, if you didn't get past college ball, how your high school championship might be #1 on your list of accomplishments, but he plays basketball professionally. For a lot of money. At least there wasn’t a Starbury reference in there.
Matt (MN): Do you regret the way things ended in Minnesota? What could you and KG have done the past 10 years if you had stayed together?
Stephon Marbury: (4:47 PM ET ) I do not regret what happened and I do not think things went badly. I just chose not to re-sign. When I told the owner I was not going to re-sign I did it so they could go get a new PG. I do not know what could have happened. I could assume the best would have happened, but that would be just me assuming.
Geez Steph, thanks for being so "thoughtful" and forcing us to trade a point guard so we could go get a new one. We really appreciate your "generous" act.
Their Fault Count: 5
Nick (Orlando, FL): How do you want to be remembered when you have retired? Do you feel that this contract mess will harm your legacy?
Stephon Marbury: (4:48 PM ET ) I would not say it would harm it, because if I go to another team and win some titles my legacy would be based on that. I have a lot of basketball left inside of me. People may think I am done, but I have a lot of basketball left.
He’s right – this contract situation probably won’t do any damage to his legacy. The prior 10 years of his career already SMASHED his legacy. Hard to break what’s already broken, you know? Only so much damage you can do.
Scott (Austin, TX): The rap on you is that you have been a selfish player. How would you respond to that comment? How do you think your teammates would respond?
Stephon Marbury: (4:51 PM ET ) I do not know why people would say that. I do not shoot the ball 25 times a night. I have averaged 8 assists throughout my career. I was always the person that was basically the blame guy and I understand that comes from being the highest paid player. But look at the number of shots per game taken in my career and you will see it is not that many. So I do not believe I am a selfish player. I go on the court to win and that is it.
Well, going onto the court with the goal of winning is much different than going on the court and winning. In case we’re unclear. Oh, and just because you average 8 assists per game, doesn’t mean you’re NOT selfish. Again, just so we’re clear.
Lionel NYC: Do you think you'll get into the hall of fame?
Stephon Marbury: (4:53 PM ET ) I do not know. You never know what can happen. I can go to another team and win a title or two. You never know what is going to happen in the future, that is why you must allow your presence to be bright.
Ah HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Oh, you’re serious?
Okay, seriously.
Two words. Fuck. No.
kevin(la,ca): do you still think you are the best point guard?
Stephon Marbury: (4:54 PM ET ) I got to get back on the court before I make a statement like that.
Read: Yes, I do.
Dan (Hamilton, ON): Since beginning your career in New York, how would you describe your experience with the Knicks, and if you could go back to the day you arrived in New York, would you still have come to play for the Knicks if you could do it over again?
Stephon Marbury: (4:59 PM ET ) The first day I came back it was a rebrith for me from a basketball perspective. I was playing in my hometown. I would do it all over again, because I have learned so much and grown so much because of the move. I was able to build Starbury.com. There have been a lot of things that has allowed me to build a successful sneaker and clothing line and made me a better person and helped me grow.
His basketball “rebirth” was very similar to how the food I ate a yesterday had a “rebirth” when I sat down on the toilet this morning.
Starbury Count: 5
Anthony (New York): What will you do after your basketball career is over
Stephon Marbury: (5:01 PM ET ) I am a business man. I love real estate and my sneaker company, keep up with the Starbury brand. I am a philanthropist. I like going to charity events and helping people. I like speaking to young kids and telling them they can get out of the ghetto. I also want to go back to school and get my degree. And I want to challenge myself in life to be better every day.
Personally I hope he goes away.
Starbury Count: 7
Mike (NY, NYC): Do care that you may be hurting the Knicks by not accepting a reasonable buyout?
Stephon Marbury: (5:04 PM ET ) This is a business. Just think, if you signed a contract and you were supposed to get $100 and then the person you signed the contract with said they would only give you $80, how would you feel? Forget about basketball and just think about it as a deal.
I love how he puts it into dollar amounts that “we” can grasp. Instead of the $20 MILLION he’s getting paid. There’s a big difference in taking a 20% pay short when you’re making $100 versus $20 MILLION. I mean, Steph doesn’t even have 6 kids from 4 different women like Spree does, so I’m sure he’s not struggling to feed his family.
Their Fault Count: 6
Will - San Francisco: What is the biggest misconception about you?
Stephon Marbury: (5:06 PM ET ) When people get to meet me they understand me a lot better. I speak my mind. And because I do that people have a hard time dealing with it. I think a lot of people do not like speaking their mind. I am an open book. I have no secrets. I am not perfect, but I try to learn and grow from the mistakes I made, so I can be a better person.
Sooooo, what’s the biggest misconception then?
Stephon Marbury: (5:09 PM ET ) Thanks to everyone for coming on to the ESPN chat. I am sure there are some questions I could not get to, but I am blessed to be able to be talking to you and I thank God for letting you hear my side of the story. Most of the time you only hear one side of the story and not the other. So for me to be able to share with you my side, makes me very happy. Thank you for supporting Starbury and everything else. Make sure to check out Starbury.com!
Thank YOU Steph, for giving me something entertaining to read while I killed the last bit of my work day.
Final Totals:
Starbury Count: 9
Their Fault Count 6
I know that it wasn't quite as good as some of past media "appearances" but still, the guy is totally insane and just doesn't have a great grasp on reality. Of course, if he did, we wouldn't have a constant source of entertainment. I mean, he's the ONLY thing left of the Knick Circus that's still capable of giving us something.
*note:
If you read the whole chat, you will have undoubtedly noticed the section where all he talks about is Kobe and the Lakers, like he was applying for a job there.
I try not to miss any Starbury conversations because they usually end up in some crazy, nonsensical, rant about whatever thoughts are swimming in that guy’s head. And you KNOW how crazy he is. I decided to “record” the conversation in hopes he would provide some comical sustenance to my day. It didn’t turn out to be one of the more memorable Starbury outbursts, but there were a few items worth note. What follows is the parts of the conversation that inspired notes, thoughts, and reactions. The conversation in its entirety can be found here
Buzzmaster: (3:52 PM ET ) Stephon will be here soon!
Buzzmaster: (4:08 PM ET ) Sorry for the delay folks. We're tracking down Stephon right now.
Buzzmaster: (4:28 PM ET ) Stephon is here!
Stephon Marbury: (4:32 PM ET ) I am happy to explain to all my fans about the situation going on with the Knicks. To all you Knicks fan I still have a lot of love for you. I appreciate all the support you give me playing ball and with Starbury. With Starbury we are trying to do something for the community and make a product that everyonecan afford. As far as the situation with the team, it is nothing personal.
Okay, well, 30 minutes late on Starbury time is pretty good - he was advertised to arrive at 4. It’s like being an hour early. Also, here begins the Starbury Count. We’ll be recording how many times he mentions his fledgling business – I mean, it didn’t help Steve and Barry’s much, did it?
Starbury Count: 2
Chris (Mebane, North Carolina): With the relaunch of your shoes and clothing wear, will your products still be available at a local retail store and for the same price?
Stephon Marbury: (4:34 PM ET ) Yes we still have the same price at $14.92 and we have three lines, the signatures lines which is no more than $24.98 or less. We also have e-commerce, so anyone can access it all over the world. We are national and international. I am still working on going with Brick and Boarders and working with other retailers as we speak.
Of course one of the first questions is going to be a question about Starbury. Hey, I wanted MY question posted too, but I wasn’t willing to spoon feed Steph a reason to mention his company. Did he mention he sells shoes and clothing? Oh, and in case you’re unclear about international including national, he mentions both….
Starbury Count: 3
Peter: What was it like playing for Larry Brown?
Stephon Marbury: (4:38 PM ET ) It was tough because he demanded a lot. He is very hard on his PGs. Sometimes dealing with him off the court, with him speaking to the media about players, was difficult. But as I got older I learned he did not mean any harm and now I can accept it more than I did back then.
You mean, now that you don’t have to deal with Larry Brown anymore, you can handle it? So, as long as you don’t have to deal with something, you can handle it? Okay, just making sure we’re clear here.
Berk (NYC, NY): Steph, Why won't you consider taking a buyout and leave about 25% of your remaining contract on the table (as most players negotiating a buyout do)? Shouldn't you have to take a cut in pay so you can sign with the team you want to play for? And don't you think you are hurting your value in the free agent market?
Stephon Marbury: (4:41 PM ET ) I cannot say about my free agent value, but I think other teams know what I can do. The reason I am not taking 25% less is because I signed a contract. I did not come here saying I wanted to part ways with the team, they chose to do this. I do not feel like I should give my money back to them. They are the ones who want to go in another direction.
This post begins the “Their Fault” Counter. We’ll keep track of each time Steph throws the blame on someone else. I mean, THEY chose to do it, THEY are doing bad, THEY THEY THEY!
Their Fault Count: 2
Mikey NYC: What was up with your trip out to LA in December to watch the Knicks play the Lakers? Were you trying to send a message to the team? And if so what was the message?
Stephon Marbury: (4:42 PM ET ) I just wanted to see the game and enjoy it. I am still a Knicks fan at heart.
It’s their fault, but no, it’s cool, I’m still a fan. I’m a slug as an employee, but I really like them – they’re my favorite. But I refuse to do the job their paying for. Hey – FANS don’t HAVE to go to the games…
Jason (Philly): What was the general attitude in the locker room towards Isaih?
Stephon Marbury: (4:43 PM ET ) I guess guys saved face.
What? Yeah, I guess…?
Derek (Tucson, Az): If you were asked today to return to knicks and play for them. Would you play?
Stephon Marbury: (4:44 PM ET ) Tehy chose their direction and I am trying to move on and end the relationship, becasue D'Antoni wanted the relationship ended from the start of the year.
Their Fault Count: 3
JB ( Raleigh, Nc): What is the proudest moment in your basketball career?
Stephon Marbury: (4:45 PM ET ) I have two: 1) My high school championship and 2) Getting drafted.
High school? Really? I guess, that’s the ONLY place he’s EVER won, as far as basketball goes. I realize that, if you didn't get past college ball, how your high school championship might be #1 on your list of accomplishments, but he plays basketball professionally. For a lot of money. At least there wasn’t a Starbury reference in there.
Matt (MN): Do you regret the way things ended in Minnesota? What could you and KG have done the past 10 years if you had stayed together?
Stephon Marbury: (4:47 PM ET ) I do not regret what happened and I do not think things went badly. I just chose not to re-sign. When I told the owner I was not going to re-sign I did it so they could go get a new PG. I do not know what could have happened. I could assume the best would have happened, but that would be just me assuming.
Geez Steph, thanks for being so "thoughtful" and forcing us to trade a point guard so we could go get a new one. We really appreciate your "generous" act.
Their Fault Count: 5
Nick (Orlando, FL): How do you want to be remembered when you have retired? Do you feel that this contract mess will harm your legacy?
Stephon Marbury: (4:48 PM ET ) I would not say it would harm it, because if I go to another team and win some titles my legacy would be based on that. I have a lot of basketball left inside of me. People may think I am done, but I have a lot of basketball left.
He’s right – this contract situation probably won’t do any damage to his legacy. The prior 10 years of his career already SMASHED his legacy. Hard to break what’s already broken, you know? Only so much damage you can do.
Scott (Austin, TX): The rap on you is that you have been a selfish player. How would you respond to that comment? How do you think your teammates would respond?
Stephon Marbury: (4:51 PM ET ) I do not know why people would say that. I do not shoot the ball 25 times a night. I have averaged 8 assists throughout my career. I was always the person that was basically the blame guy and I understand that comes from being the highest paid player. But look at the number of shots per game taken in my career and you will see it is not that many. So I do not believe I am a selfish player. I go on the court to win and that is it.
Well, going onto the court with the goal of winning is much different than going on the court and winning. In case we’re unclear. Oh, and just because you average 8 assists per game, doesn’t mean you’re NOT selfish. Again, just so we’re clear.
Lionel NYC: Do you think you'll get into the hall of fame?
Stephon Marbury: (4:53 PM ET ) I do not know. You never know what can happen. I can go to another team and win a title or two. You never know what is going to happen in the future, that is why you must allow your presence to be bright.
Ah HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Oh, you’re serious?
Okay, seriously.
Two words. Fuck. No.
kevin(la,ca): do you still think you are the best point guard?
Stephon Marbury: (4:54 PM ET ) I got to get back on the court before I make a statement like that.
Read: Yes, I do.
Dan (Hamilton, ON): Since beginning your career in New York, how would you describe your experience with the Knicks, and if you could go back to the day you arrived in New York, would you still have come to play for the Knicks if you could do it over again?
Stephon Marbury: (4:59 PM ET ) The first day I came back it was a rebrith for me from a basketball perspective. I was playing in my hometown. I would do it all over again, because I have learned so much and grown so much because of the move. I was able to build Starbury.com. There have been a lot of things that has allowed me to build a successful sneaker and clothing line and made me a better person and helped me grow.
His basketball “rebirth” was very similar to how the food I ate a yesterday had a “rebirth” when I sat down on the toilet this morning.
Starbury Count: 5
Anthony (New York): What will you do after your basketball career is over
Stephon Marbury: (5:01 PM ET ) I am a business man. I love real estate and my sneaker company, keep up with the Starbury brand. I am a philanthropist. I like going to charity events and helping people. I like speaking to young kids and telling them they can get out of the ghetto. I also want to go back to school and get my degree. And I want to challenge myself in life to be better every day.
Personally I hope he goes away.
Starbury Count: 7
Mike (NY, NYC): Do care that you may be hurting the Knicks by not accepting a reasonable buyout?
Stephon Marbury: (5:04 PM ET ) This is a business. Just think, if you signed a contract and you were supposed to get $100 and then the person you signed the contract with said they would only give you $80, how would you feel? Forget about basketball and just think about it as a deal.
I love how he puts it into dollar amounts that “we” can grasp. Instead of the $20 MILLION he’s getting paid. There’s a big difference in taking a 20% pay short when you’re making $100 versus $20 MILLION. I mean, Steph doesn’t even have 6 kids from 4 different women like Spree does, so I’m sure he’s not struggling to feed his family.
Their Fault Count: 6
Will - San Francisco: What is the biggest misconception about you?
Stephon Marbury: (5:06 PM ET ) When people get to meet me they understand me a lot better. I speak my mind. And because I do that people have a hard time dealing with it. I think a lot of people do not like speaking their mind. I am an open book. I have no secrets. I am not perfect, but I try to learn and grow from the mistakes I made, so I can be a better person.
Sooooo, what’s the biggest misconception then?
Stephon Marbury: (5:09 PM ET ) Thanks to everyone for coming on to the ESPN chat. I am sure there are some questions I could not get to, but I am blessed to be able to be talking to you and I thank God for letting you hear my side of the story. Most of the time you only hear one side of the story and not the other. So for me to be able to share with you my side, makes me very happy. Thank you for supporting Starbury and everything else. Make sure to check out Starbury.com!
Thank YOU Steph, for giving me something entertaining to read while I killed the last bit of my work day.
Final Totals:
Starbury Count: 9
Their Fault Count 6
I know that it wasn't quite as good as some of past media "appearances" but still, the guy is totally insane and just doesn't have a great grasp on reality. Of course, if he did, we wouldn't have a constant source of entertainment. I mean, he's the ONLY thing left of the Knick Circus that's still capable of giving us something.
*note:
If you read the whole chat, you will have undoubtedly noticed the section where all he talks about is Kobe and the Lakers, like he was applying for a job there.
January 22, 2009
Couldn't....Help...Myself....
Jerome James today will undergo surgery to repair a ruptured achilles tendon in his right leg. He will miss the rest of the season.
-Newsday.com
The "cause" of this injury was:
A. Participating in "basketball related activities"
B. Eddy Curry stole his candy
C. Two words: Donut Race
D. Two more words: Morbid Obesity
Also, wasn't he going to "miss" the rest of the season anyways? He's played two games this season. Zero since December 21.
I'll sure "miss" watching him "play basketball."
Marko??
Oh no, sorry. It's just you Danilo.
On the fantasy section of Yahoo!, the heading above this picture said 'At First Sight.' Are we sure he can even see? I mean, the eyes, they're crossed.
The real question is what song is he humming to himself? Enter Sandman or That's Amore?
January 17, 2009
Get To Know Your MAAC
College basketball... there's really nothing like it. This is the time of year in sporting community (read: gambling community) that really can grind the gears if you're not careful. The NBA has maybe 2 or 3 teams that try. Seriously. It's Cleveland, Boston, Orlando, and what? The Lakers? Then why does Andrew Bynum look like he just doesn't give a fuck? Oh yeah, is it because he's like every other NBA player? It's no coincidence that the Wolves always get "hot" this time of year. Oh yeah, you think? I think it might be more "Phoenix doesn't give a fuck because it's not playoff time yet" than it is "Kevin Love is actually a quality player and doesn't go boom-boom in his diaper before the game". If you're tracing money in the NBA, it pretty much starts AND stops with New York Knicks overs, and the rest is just darts at the board.
They still won't let you bet on college hockey, and if you bet on the professionals, you may just as well be wearing a Polaris jacket.
The NFL is fucking rigged, so nothing matters at all. Arizona, win in Carolina? SURE WHY NOT?!?!? It's stupid. There was money to be made in bowls, but those times are gone, and we're left thinking about our next year's future bet, which will probably involve some dogshit Big 12 team who will get its teeth kicked in by LSU/Alabama/Florida next January. Fuuuuuuck it.
So what is there to do? RESEARCH YOUR COLLEGE BASKETBALL!
(lyrics provided by Eazy E, of course)
"I hope that your fans understand when you're talkin bout sprayin me / The same records that you're makin is payin me"
UNC and Duke. Hey, that's a cute little rivalry you guys have. And you realllllllly think you are the top two teams in the country, eh? Well, you kids on tobacco road have your fun. Because the teams that are going to get it done in March live in ghettoville, as we saw from Memphis last year. Sleep on UCLA at your own risk. Same with Wake.
I have this theory about Duke (no, not that every one of their basketball players needs a fist in their kiss-holes) ... They play like horsepiss in the tournament every year because they get so used to getting waxed off at home by those idiots in Cameron. Seriously.... their fans go deathly quiet when one of the Blue Dukies is shooting free throws. Do you guys think that's going to condition them to play well in pressure situations? You can just see Singler stepping up to the line with this year's Chris Douglas Roberts barking at him from down low with the game in the balance? Hey guess who's going pee?!?!?!
"I don't think I'm all this or that, but I'm all me"
Don't look now, but the Golden Gophies are running and gunning their way to the top of the Big 11. Bo welcomed you to this column with double thumbs, but he looked like he took a kick in the groin on Thursday, eh??? Here's a hint for Wisconsin, you might think that recruiting the latest iteration of Sam Okey will please your fans and help you grind out wins against Indiana with remarkable consistency. AND IT WILL. What it will not do, however, is enable your team to pass the ball beyond the half-court line anytime when it matters. 6 foot 9 white guys who make their throws and can't seem to close their mouths when shooting may SEEM to be the answer, and within Bo Ball, well they look downright golden, but when you guys play Michigan???? JESUS MERCY. Someone's getting ghetto, and it's not Madison.
Back to the Gophers, I'm actually not surprised that they are as good as they are... they've played over their heads in spurts, but have also made a lot of rookie mistakes. That will happen when you employ Ralph Sampson III. Seriously, this looks like a child who just got his driver's license.... he's one of those kids you see in your Sophomore math class and just KNOW that he's in 8th grade and on the "fast track" to MIT. His baby face is only made worse by the fact that he's a manchild in the paint, but when it comes to decisions, sometimes Ralph just slips up. That's ok though. The child will have time to grow. He's got good genes. And he blocks your shot just like he drinks a cup of coffee... actually strike that. He's not old enough for coffee yet.
"Doin wicked shit cause shit is wicked on the streets / And from what my eyes see, the wickedness will never cease"
I've been having some fun with the following betting creed:
When a team ranked 10-25 plays on the road, against a respectable, but unranked, conference opponent, BET THE HOME TEAM DEAR GOD BET IT ALL.
Home crowds are good for a 10 point swing these days, maybe more. USC just absolutely demolished Arizona State, after they had beaten the Oregon teams by a combined 1000 points the week before. Duke can't cover shit in Florida State, but get them at home and it's BOY HOWDY NOBODY CLAP DURING THE FREE THROWS OR KYLE GETS CONFUSED. Then there's the Big 10, Northwestern took Purdue to the dick, and Ohio State's fans have to cheer loudly because their football team kisses the pink these days. Don't even start with Michigan. About the only stadium where the home crowd doesn't seem to matter is in Indiana, but I bet they'll beat Iowa there. Why not? These kids are looking at a deepening depression, and by the time they get out of college, it's going to be like "Well, that's a great degree in Sociology, can you swing a maul?" and that's the lucky ones that even get the interviews. Cheer like hell, Brianna, because these are the times to remember. And they will not last forever.
"You can fool the people on the east coast, and the midwest / But in LA, you still ain't passed the test"
The recruiting monopoly in LA is over. And UCLA is the winner. USC is still keeping it horribly gatto, but that's only good for a second round berth. Ben Howland has beat the game, and he's got the system in place to keep churning them out. I don't know how far they'll go, but I can say this: There is a GLUT of pretenders this year, teams from Pitt to UNC to Georgetown... these scumbag teams who couldn't cover Bethune Cookman, and someone's going to put them in their place. Come tournament time, it's going to be balance that takes it all, as Kansas proved last year. Well, had Memphis been able to make A free throw, let alone 4 free throws, they would've won, but still.
And, in conclusion:
December 17, 2008
The Mockhounds are About!
Yeah, the season is not even 1/3 done and we've got the 2009 Draft Hounds out and rolling - much to my enjoyment. Nothing like thinking about the future when there is nothing in the present. So, as I wandered onto ESPN.com and checked the mock lottery, the Wolves ended up with the second pick - just like their second-worst record would indicate. Who did they have us selecting? Hasheem Thabeet from Connecticut. Think poor-mans Dikembe Mutombo, except he looks like the kid from the first season of The Wire.
He rebounds like a crazy man and blocks shots like he was peelin' caps, but he's a major concern on the offensive end, and he's built like a taller version of KG - 7'3" 265lbs. - minus the strength. Okay, if we didn't have Al Jefferson and Kevin Love already, I might be behind that pick. However, we've already got two guys who are going to need major minutes at the 4 and 5, and other GLARING weaknesses. I'm not saying we don't need a guy like Thabeet, but there are other weaknesses that need attention first.
WE NEED A FUCKING POINT GUARD!!!!!
The player taken after our pick? Ricky Rubio, PG from Spain. Jose Calderon, Sergio Rodriguez, Rudy Fernandez. Who are they you ask? Other Spanish point guards, all of whom are quality NBA players. Take all those young men, pour in an equal part Pete Maravich, and you have Ricky Rubio. Do EVERYTHING IT TAKES to get this kid on our team. He's an amazing basketball player and - Glen Taylor may like this part - he's probably the most popular player in Spain! Wouldn't it be fun to sell Wolves jerseys around the world? Plus, he's an exciting player - unlike Thabeet - and those guys tend to put butts in the seats.
DRAFT. HIM. NOW.
Seriously.
He rebounds like a crazy man and blocks shots like he was peelin' caps, but he's a major concern on the offensive end, and he's built like a taller version of KG - 7'3" 265lbs. - minus the strength. Okay, if we didn't have Al Jefferson and Kevin Love already, I might be behind that pick. However, we've already got two guys who are going to need major minutes at the 4 and 5, and other GLARING weaknesses. I'm not saying we don't need a guy like Thabeet, but there are other weaknesses that need attention first.
WE NEED A FUCKING POINT GUARD!!!!!
The player taken after our pick? Ricky Rubio, PG from Spain. Jose Calderon, Sergio Rodriguez, Rudy Fernandez. Who are they you ask? Other Spanish point guards, all of whom are quality NBA players. Take all those young men, pour in an equal part Pete Maravich, and you have Ricky Rubio. Do EVERYTHING IT TAKES to get this kid on our team. He's an amazing basketball player and - Glen Taylor may like this part - he's probably the most popular player in Spain! Wouldn't it be fun to sell Wolves jerseys around the world? Plus, he's an exciting player - unlike Thabeet - and those guys tend to put butts in the seats.
DRAFT. HIM. NOW.
Seriously.
December 15, 2008
Who fires Deadzo?
Does he fire himself? How does that work? Is he in his sweet spot right now? No one to answer to. You think Owner cares? Will 10k show up to see Lebron? Notice I said show up. I have to watch this team the rest of the year, just so I can see how bad it can get. They're a trainwreck.
December 8, 2008
Firing Randy Wittman and installing Kevin McHale as coach is most like which of the following scenarios?
1. Throwing lawn chairs off the deck of the Titanic.
2. Putting down hot wings and reaching for a mayo-burger.
3. Robbing Peter to pay Paul.
4. Robbing the fans of the Timberwolves to pay the ego of the owner of the Timberwolves.
5. Not being able to decide between Ranch and Blue Cheese, so telling the waitress you want them "both on the side".
6. Just dumping them both on your salad anyway.
7. Dropping out of Brown College and taking online courses at Capella University.
8. Firing a dumb idiot coach who has no business whatsoever even pouring drinks at the Bulldog let alone coaching millionaires in a sport and replacing him with an animated corpse, one so fucking dumb and incompetent that he somehow replaced ISAIAH FUCKING THOMAS as the dumbest, most inept GM in all of sport, a man who traded the franchise away like he makes a cup of coffee, with a tremendous amount of fucking-up, a man who broke the only thing that was good about Basketball in Minnesota, and then assembled the most awful team he could, a man who should've been fired 6 years ago, when he ballsed up the Joe Smith signing, a man who is grossly incompetent, a bad coach, a horrible GM, a dumb human being, the bane of my existence and the reason that I don't even like the fucking sport of basketball anymore.
------------------------------
Happy guessing!
2. Putting down hot wings and reaching for a mayo-burger.
3. Robbing Peter to pay Paul.
4. Robbing the fans of the Timberwolves to pay the ego of the owner of the Timberwolves.
5. Not being able to decide between Ranch and Blue Cheese, so telling the waitress you want them "both on the side".
6. Just dumping them both on your salad anyway.
7. Dropping out of Brown College and taking online courses at Capella University.
8. Firing a dumb idiot coach who has no business whatsoever even pouring drinks at the Bulldog let alone coaching millionaires in a sport and replacing him with an animated corpse, one so fucking dumb and incompetent that he somehow replaced ISAIAH FUCKING THOMAS as the dumbest, most inept GM in all of sport, a man who traded the franchise away like he makes a cup of coffee, with a tremendous amount of fucking-up, a man who broke the only thing that was good about Basketball in Minnesota, and then assembled the most awful team he could, a man who should've been fired 6 years ago, when he ballsed up the Joe Smith signing, a man who is grossly incompetent, a bad coach, a horrible GM, a dumb human being, the bane of my existence and the reason that I don't even like the fucking sport of basketball anymore.
------------------------------
Happy guessing!
December 5, 2008
Liveblogging Wolves/Nets
I also will be checking in on the more important MAC Championship between Ball St. and Buffalo.
OK, here we go. Mike Miller is wearing a suit and tie I wore for band rehearsal in Jr. High. New uniforms, they look like warm-ups. Izod Center. Izod . . . the cheap polos? Announcers keep on saying "Yi" for some reason. Good courtside rows still available. Crowd only cares when Vince has the ball. Check that, good Izod Centers still available for this game. Oh god Lopez. Child still coaches the Nets. Vince might scored 90 this game. So, the Izod Center. Izod . . . where did you get the money? Or is this a sign of the times. Bombs away for the Nets. I have seen Al Jefferson play for 5 minutes and it is a shame he plays for the Wolves. He is better than that. Yi from 3, good. Yi for 3, good. Lopez. Whatever worked in college, not so much in the pros. McCants with the tatts. It is just Foye and Jefferson for Wolves offense, everyone else wants the game to be over. 31-17 end of the 1st. It is not that the Wolves are bad, they don't care (less Jefferson). The Nets are now playing "who can hit the longest 3?". With the score 34-17, announcer says, "Wolves have yet to find their equilibrium." Really? Jesus, just disband Wolves. Do everyone a favor. Oh Christ, there is a guy in a yellow suit, Monday night football style, selling tickets for Wolves games in a commercial. Priceless shot of Wittman with a face palm. Madsen dribbling. The Nets are losing interest.
They need to pick it up in the football game, you know?
Lopez will be a Wolve someday. He is destined. Another missed shot by Lopez, awkward player. Don Overbeck commercials are kind of cool. Yi from 3, good.
The first half is over and was very painful to watch. I will now watch this game while splitting time with MAC football and Mich./Michigan St. hockey. Again, very painful to watch the Wolves.
The Nets only try when the Wolves get within 7 or so. Yi from 3, good. Devin Harris isn't bad. 70-51 Nets. Announcer says, "Wolves are teetering right now". I'm out.
OK, here we go. Mike Miller is wearing a suit and tie I wore for band rehearsal in Jr. High. New uniforms, they look like warm-ups. Izod Center. Izod . . . the cheap polos? Announcers keep on saying "Yi" for some reason. Good courtside rows still available. Crowd only cares when Vince has the ball. Check that, good Izod Centers still available for this game. Oh god Lopez. Child still coaches the Nets. Vince might scored 90 this game. So, the Izod Center. Izod . . . where did you get the money? Or is this a sign of the times. Bombs away for the Nets. I have seen Al Jefferson play for 5 minutes and it is a shame he plays for the Wolves. He is better than that. Yi from 3, good. Yi for 3, good. Lopez. Whatever worked in college, not so much in the pros. McCants with the tatts. It is just Foye and Jefferson for Wolves offense, everyone else wants the game to be over. 31-17 end of the 1st. It is not that the Wolves are bad, they don't care (less Jefferson). The Nets are now playing "who can hit the longest 3?". With the score 34-17, announcer says, "Wolves have yet to find their equilibrium." Really? Jesus, just disband Wolves. Do everyone a favor. Oh Christ, there is a guy in a yellow suit, Monday night football style, selling tickets for Wolves games in a commercial. Priceless shot of Wittman with a face palm. Madsen dribbling. The Nets are losing interest.
They need to pick it up in the football game, you know?
Lopez will be a Wolve someday. He is destined. Another missed shot by Lopez, awkward player. Don Overbeck commercials are kind of cool. Yi from 3, good.
The first half is over and was very painful to watch. I will now watch this game while splitting time with MAC football and Mich./Michigan St. hockey. Again, very painful to watch the Wolves.
The Nets only try when the Wolves get within 7 or so. Yi from 3, good. Devin Harris isn't bad. 70-51 Nets. Announcer says, "Wolves are teetering right now". I'm out.
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