Brigham Young University Athletics Are Bullshit

Ok, so a guy on the BYU basketball team dipped his wick, and we're all just going to freak the fuck out. That's fine.

But this really only pulls back the curtain a tiny bit on the unbelievable amount of bullshit that BYU slings on a daily basis. For years, I thought Notre Dame was the most detestable Division I program due to their complete stubbornness to ever join a conference and be forced to play football against, you know, good teams to prove themselves. No. They would beat Michigan, Michigan State and fucking walk to the dance because they also played Army, Navy and Wayne State. Hey great. Everyone stacks their non-conference schedule. But what if your WHOLE SCHEDULE was non-conference? And the NCAA let this happen, because why? Because they are Notre Dame, and when their program pulls down the pants to take a piss, scented bath soap comes out instead.

But here comes BYU. Now, I don't have a problem with rules. Different programs institute different rules, I get that. You're not going to have the same curfew at Loyola Marymount as you will at Miami. And lord knows that academic violations at Yale are a bit more frowned upon than at Cincinnati. That's fine. And this isn't even one of those posts that points and laughs at BYU because they don't let their athletes drink coffee. Again, when you look at the inmates-running-the-asylum mentality of a LOT of NCAA programs throughout the country (does UNLV even have classes? Do they have buildings? Or does every single student just git buckets?), I think quite a few of them would do well to institute some more rules. Royce White stole a fucking laptop from a dorm, then stole shit from Mall of America. A laptop? Dude, they're like 300 bucks. And I'm pretty sure computer labs are open 24 hours a day during finals week, you know, if you need to finish up that research paper....

No, the reason BYU is bullshit is because they refuse to play games on Sunday. In all sports. Even intramurals.

Now, if you are, say, Friends University, fine. Go ahead and say that you will not play on Sunday. And then everyone will laugh at you and we'll go about our business. But how the fuck is this fair to an NCAA tournament field? They refuse to play on Sunday... so the NCAA bends over backwards to accommodate them. I looked at the history - they've been to the NCAA tournament 14 times in the last 24 years. Guess how many opening round games they played on Friday? Not a goddamn one. Every single year they were scheduled for Thursday.

Ok, so what's the point? Well, let's look at some recent history:

2010 - 7 seed West
2009 - 8 seed West
2008 - 8 seed West
2007 - 8 seed South
2004 - 12 seed West
2003 - 12 seed South

Now, every single one of those opening round games was on a Thursday (big surprise). And, there is no formula to when seeds play. For example, before the tournament begins, we have no idea if the 1 seed is going to play on Thursday or Friday (that is all determined during selection sunday). So, one year, the 7 seed plays on Thursday... the next year it plays on Friday.

And all this means is that the NCAA selection committee is absolutely on their knees to BYU.

The one consistency throughout the years is that despite the seeds switching what day they play, they always play in "pods". Meaning, the 1-16 always falls on the same day as the 8-9. They do this, presumably, so that they can lock in those matchups (the teams would instantly know who they were going to play next... and could even be in the same building to watch them on their game day). So if the 1 seed plays on Thursday, you're damn sure the 8-9 will be on Thursday too.

Now think about BYU in this scenario.... first of all we have to put aside the bullshit regional aspects of this. Because why does BYU consistently play in the South and West bracket, even when they draw 8 and 12 seeds? Because fuck the committee, that's why. But that happens everywhere, so we'll move on. Ok, the ONLY team in the country that has scheduling sensitivity is BYU... I searched and I could find no example of another school being morally opposed to playing on Sunday. So no matter where the NCAA seats them, they have to play on Thursday. And then, of course, they have to seat them the NEXT Thursday too, if they happen to get out of the first round. And, of course, they pull 3 other teams with them the first round, and 3 more then next round... pretty much the ripples touch the entire tournament. I imagine the NCAA selection committee on Sunday - "Ok guys, let's start - like we always do - with BYU... where are we seeding them and we've got to make sure they don't play on Sunday because - HEY IS THAT A HAM-STEAK BUFFET?!?!?!"

In reality, of course, this has little bearing. Teams don't care when they play, and there is no demonstrable advantage to playing Thursday v. Friday (and based on BYU's history in the tournament, Thursday ain't treating them too hot). But it's just an example of horseshit. One team - ONE TEAM - will not play on a certain day, and they have to adjust the entire schedule according to them. And come on, you can't tell me ratings don't then play into the seeding. Let's do a hypothetical: UCLA is the one seed in the West, and BYU is around a 8 or 7 seed. If they go 8, then they have to play on Thursday, which means UCLA does too. Let's see, how do we maximize ratings? When do more people watch... Thursday or Friday? GREASE THE POCKETS, CHARLIE.

The fucking tournament seeding is a joke... we've all seen Duke pull a 5 seed and have their first 4 games within 30 minutes of their campus while USC plays on the other side of the country with a 2 seed. We all know it's sleaze central, and I guess this is just one more example.

It's bullshit, but it's always been bullshit, and we'll keep watching. Damn you.