January 28, 2009

My Lucky Day

Some days just end up better than others. Some days, you get to the bus stop just in time to catch your bus home, others you’re a half-block away when it goes by. Well, Tuesday was one of those good days. I didn’t sleep through my alarm, I got to the bus stop on time, and I happened to go to ESPN.com at the precise time that Stephon Marbury was participating in a live chat. BINGO!

I try not to miss any Starbury conversations because they usually end up in some crazy, nonsensical, rant about whatever thoughts are swimming in that guy’s head. And you KNOW how crazy he is. I decided to “record” the conversation in hopes he would provide some comical sustenance to my day. It didn’t turn out to be one of the more memorable Starbury outbursts, but there were a few items worth note. What follows is the parts of the conversation that inspired notes, thoughts, and reactions. The conversation in its entirety can be found here

Buzzmaster: (3:52 PM ET ) Stephon will be here soon!

Buzzmaster: (4:08 PM ET ) Sorry for the delay folks. We're tracking down Stephon right now.

Buzzmaster: (4:28 PM ET ) Stephon is here!

Stephon Marbury: (4:32 PM ET ) I am happy to explain to all my fans about the situation going on with the Knicks. To all you Knicks fan I still have a lot of love for you. I appreciate all the support you give me playing ball and with Starbury. With Starbury we are trying to do something for the community and make a product that everyonecan afford. As far as the situation with the team, it is nothing personal.

Okay, well, 30 minutes late on Starbury time is pretty good - he was advertised to arrive at 4. It’s like being an hour early. Also, here begins the Starbury Count. We’ll be recording how many times he mentions his fledgling business – I mean, it didn’t help Steve and Barry’s much, did it?

Starbury Count: 2

Chris (Mebane, North Carolina): With the relaunch of your shoes and clothing wear, will your products still be available at a local retail store and for the same price?

Stephon Marbury: (4:34 PM ET ) Yes we still have the same price at $14.92 and we have three lines, the signatures lines which is no more than $24.98 or less. We also have e-commerce, so anyone can access it all over the world. We are national and international. I am still working on going with Brick and Boarders and working with other retailers as we speak.

Of course one of the first questions is going to be a question about Starbury. Hey, I wanted MY question posted too, but I wasn’t willing to spoon feed Steph a reason to mention his company. Did he mention he sells shoes and clothing? Oh, and in case you’re unclear about international including national, he mentions both….

Starbury Count: 3

Peter: What was it like playing for Larry Brown?

Stephon Marbury: (4:38 PM ET ) It was tough because he demanded a lot. He is very hard on his PGs. Sometimes dealing with him off the court, with him speaking to the media about players, was difficult. But as I got older I learned he did not mean any harm and now I can accept it more than I did back then.

You mean, now that you don’t have to deal with Larry Brown anymore, you can handle it? So, as long as you don’t have to deal with something, you can handle it? Okay, just making sure we’re clear here.

Berk (NYC, NY): Steph, Why won't you consider taking a buyout and leave about 25% of your remaining contract on the table (as most players negotiating a buyout do)? Shouldn't you have to take a cut in pay so you can sign with the team you want to play for? And don't you think you are hurting your value in the free agent market?

Stephon Marbury: (4:41 PM ET ) I cannot say about my free agent value, but I think other teams know what I can do. The reason I am not taking 25% less is because I signed a contract. I did not come here saying I wanted to part ways with the team, they chose to do this. I do not feel like I should give my money back to them. They are the ones who want to go in another direction.

This post begins the “Their Fault” Counter. We’ll keep track of each time Steph throws the blame on someone else. I mean, THEY chose to do it, THEY are doing bad, THEY THEY THEY!

Their Fault Count: 2

Mikey NYC: What was up with your trip out to LA in December to watch the Knicks play the Lakers? Were you trying to send a message to the team? And if so what was the message?

Stephon Marbury: (4:42 PM ET ) I just wanted to see the game and enjoy it. I am still a Knicks fan at heart.

It’s their fault, but no, it’s cool, I’m still a fan. I’m a slug as an employee, but I really like them – they’re my favorite. But I refuse to do the job their paying for. Hey – FANS don’t HAVE to go to the games…

Jason (Philly): What was the general attitude in the locker room towards Isaih?

Stephon Marbury: (4:43 PM ET ) I guess guys saved face.

What? Yeah, I guess…?

Derek (Tucson, Az): If you were asked today to return to knicks and play for them. Would you play?

Stephon Marbury: (4:44 PM ET ) Tehy chose their direction and I am trying to move on and end the relationship, becasue D'Antoni wanted the relationship ended from the start of the year.

Their Fault Count: 3

JB ( Raleigh, Nc): What is the proudest moment in your basketball career?

Stephon Marbury: (4:45 PM ET ) I have two: 1) My high school championship and 2) Getting drafted.

High school? Really? I guess, that’s the ONLY place he’s EVER won, as far as basketball goes. I realize that, if you didn't get past college ball, how your high school championship might be #1 on your list of accomplishments, but he plays basketball professionally. For a lot of money. At least there wasn’t a Starbury reference in there.

Matt (MN): Do you regret the way things ended in Minnesota? What could you and KG have done the past 10 years if you had stayed together?

Stephon Marbury: (4:47 PM ET ) I do not regret what happened and I do not think things went badly. I just chose not to re-sign. When I told the owner I was not going to re-sign I did it so they could go get a new PG. I do not know what could have happened. I could assume the best would have happened, but that would be just me assuming.

Geez Steph, thanks for being so "thoughtful" and forcing us to trade a point guard so we could go get a new one. We really appreciate your "generous" act.

Their Fault Count: 5

Nick (Orlando, FL): How do you want to be remembered when you have retired? Do you feel that this contract mess will harm your legacy?

Stephon Marbury: (4:48 PM ET ) I would not say it would harm it, because if I go to another team and win some titles my legacy would be based on that. I have a lot of basketball left inside of me. People may think I am done, but I have a lot of basketball left.

He’s right – this contract situation probably won’t do any damage to his legacy. The prior 10 years of his career already SMASHED his legacy. Hard to break what’s already broken, you know? Only so much damage you can do.

Scott (Austin, TX): The rap on you is that you have been a selfish player. How would you respond to that comment? How do you think your teammates would respond?

Stephon Marbury: (4:51 PM ET ) I do not know why people would say that. I do not shoot the ball 25 times a night. I have averaged 8 assists throughout my career. I was always the person that was basically the blame guy and I understand that comes from being the highest paid player. But look at the number of shots per game taken in my career and you will see it is not that many. So I do not believe I am a selfish player. I go on the court to win and that is it.

Well, going onto the court with the goal of winning is much different than going on the court and winning. In case we’re unclear. Oh, and just because you average 8 assists per game, doesn’t mean you’re NOT selfish. Again, just so we’re clear.

Lionel NYC: Do you think you'll get into the hall of fame?

Stephon Marbury: (4:53 PM ET ) I do not know. You never know what can happen. I can go to another team and win a title or two. You never know what is going to happen in the future, that is why you must allow your presence to be bright.


Oh, you’re serious?

Okay, seriously.

Two words. Fuck. No.

kevin(la,ca): do you still think you are the best point guard?

Stephon Marbury: (4:54 PM ET ) I got to get back on the court before I make a statement like that.

Read: Yes, I do.

Dan (Hamilton, ON): Since beginning your career in New York, how would you describe your experience with the Knicks, and if you could go back to the day you arrived in New York, would you still have come to play for the Knicks if you could do it over again?

Stephon Marbury: (4:59 PM ET ) The first day I came back it was a rebrith for me from a basketball perspective. I was playing in my hometown. I would do it all over again, because I have learned so much and grown so much because of the move. I was able to build Starbury.com. There have been a lot of things that has allowed me to build a successful sneaker and clothing line and made me a better person and helped me grow.

His basketball “rebirth” was very similar to how the food I ate a yesterday had a “rebirth” when I sat down on the toilet this morning.

Starbury Count: 5

Anthony (New York): What will you do after your basketball career is over

Stephon Marbury: (5:01 PM ET ) I am a business man. I love real estate and my sneaker company, keep up with the Starbury brand. I am a philanthropist. I like going to charity events and helping people. I like speaking to young kids and telling them they can get out of the ghetto. I also want to go back to school and get my degree. And I want to challenge myself in life to be better every day.

Personally I hope he goes away.

Starbury Count: 7

Mike (NY, NYC): Do care that you may be hurting the Knicks by not accepting a reasonable buyout?

Stephon Marbury: (5:04 PM ET ) This is a business. Just think, if you signed a contract and you were supposed to get $100 and then the person you signed the contract with said they would only give you $80, how would you feel? Forget about basketball and just think about it as a deal.

I love how he puts it into dollar amounts that “we” can grasp. Instead of the $20 MILLION he’s getting paid. There’s a big difference in taking a 20% pay short when you’re making $100 versus $20 MILLION. I mean, Steph doesn’t even have 6 kids from 4 different women like Spree does, so I’m sure he’s not struggling to feed his family.

Their Fault Count: 6

Will - San Francisco: What is the biggest misconception about you?

Stephon Marbury: (5:06 PM ET ) When people get to meet me they understand me a lot better. I speak my mind. And because I do that people have a hard time dealing with it. I think a lot of people do not like speaking their mind. I am an open book. I have no secrets. I am not perfect, but I try to learn and grow from the mistakes I made, so I can be a better person.

Sooooo, what’s the biggest misconception then?

Stephon Marbury: (5:09 PM ET ) Thanks to everyone for coming on to the ESPN chat. I am sure there are some questions I could not get to, but I am blessed to be able to be talking to you and I thank God for letting you hear my side of the story. Most of the time you only hear one side of the story and not the other. So for me to be able to share with you my side, makes me very happy. Thank you for supporting Starbury and everything else. Make sure to check out Starbury.com!

Thank YOU Steph, for giving me something entertaining to read while I killed the last bit of my work day.

Final Totals:

Starbury Count: 9
Their Fault Count 6

I know that it wasn't quite as good as some of past media "appearances" but still, the guy is totally insane and just doesn't have a great grasp on reality. Of course, if he did, we wouldn't have a constant source of entertainment. I mean, he's the ONLY thing left of the Knick Circus that's still capable of giving us something.

If you read the whole chat, you will have undoubtedly noticed the section where all he talks about is Kobe and the Lakers, like he was applying for a job there.

January 22, 2009


Jerome James today will undergo surgery to repair a ruptured achilles tendon in his right leg. He will miss the rest of the season.


The "cause" of this injury was:

A. Participating in "basketball related activities"
B. Eddy Curry stole his candy
C. Two words: Donut Race
D. Two more words: Morbid Obesity

Also, wasn't he going to "miss" the rest of the season anyways? He's played two games this season. Zero since December 21.

I'll sure "miss" watching him "play basketball."


Oh no, sorry. It's just you Danilo.

On the fantasy section of Yahoo!, the heading above this picture said 'At First Sight.' Are we sure he can even see? I mean, the eyes, they're crossed.

The real question is what song is he humming to himself? Enter Sandman or That's Amore?

January 17, 2009

Get To Know Your MAAC

College basketball... there's really nothing like it.  This is the time of year in sporting community (read: gambling community) that really can grind the gears if you're not careful.  The NBA has maybe 2 or 3 teams that try.  Seriously.  It's Cleveland, Boston, Orlando, and what?  The Lakers?  Then why does Andrew Bynum look like he just doesn't give a fuck?  Oh yeah, is it because he's like every other NBA player?  It's no coincidence that the Wolves always get "hot" this time of year.  Oh yeah, you think?  I think it might be more "Phoenix doesn't give a fuck because it's not playoff time yet" than it is "Kevin Love is actually a quality player and doesn't go boom-boom in his diaper before the game".  If you're tracing money in the NBA, it pretty much starts AND stops with New York Knicks overs, and the rest is just darts at the board.

They still won't let you bet on college hockey, and if you bet on the professionals, you may just as well be wearing a Polaris jacket.  

The NFL is fucking rigged, so nothing matters at all.  Arizona, win in Carolina?  SURE WHY NOT?!?!?  It's stupid.  There was money to be made in bowls, but those times are gone, and we're left thinking about our next year's future bet, which will probably involve some dogshit Big 12 team who will get its teeth kicked in by LSU/Alabama/Florida next January.  Fuuuuuuck it.


(lyrics provided by Eazy E, of course)

"I hope that your fans understand when you're talkin bout sprayin me / The same records that you're makin is payin me"

UNC and Duke.  Hey, that's a cute little rivalry you guys have.  And you realllllllly think you are the top two teams in the country, eh?  Well, you kids on tobacco road have your fun.  Because the teams that are going to get it done in March live in ghettoville, as we saw from Memphis last year.  Sleep on UCLA at your own risk.  Same with Wake.

I have this theory about Duke (no, not that every one of their basketball players needs a fist in their kiss-holes) ... They play like horsepiss in the tournament every year because they get so used to getting waxed off at home by those idiots in Cameron.  Seriously.... their fans go deathly quiet when one of the Blue Dukies is shooting free throws.  Do you guys think that's going to condition them to play well in pressure situations?  You can just see Singler stepping up to the line with this year's Chris Douglas Roberts barking at him from down low with the game in the balance?  Hey guess who's going pee?!?!?!

"I don't think I'm all this or that, but I'm all me"

Don't look now, but the Golden Gophies are running and gunning their way to the top of the Big 11.  Bo welcomed you to this column with double thumbs, but he looked like he took a kick in the groin on Thursday, eh???  Here's a hint for Wisconsin, you might think that recruiting the latest iteration of Sam Okey will please your fans and help you grind out wins against Indiana with remarkable consistency.  AND IT WILL.  What it will not do, however, is enable your team to pass the ball beyond the half-court line anytime when it matters.  6 foot 9 white guys who make their throws and can't seem to close their mouths when shooting may SEEM to be the answer, and within Bo Ball, well they look downright golden, but when you guys play Michigan????  JESUS MERCY.  Someone's getting ghetto, and it's not Madison.

Back to the Gophers, I'm actually not surprised that they are as good as they are... they've played over their heads in spurts, but have also made a lot of rookie mistakes.  That will happen when you employ Ralph Sampson III.  Seriously, this looks like a child who just got his driver's license.... he's one of those kids you see in your Sophomore math class and just KNOW that he's in 8th grade and on the "fast track" to MIT.  His baby face is only made worse by the fact that he's a manchild in the paint, but when it comes to decisions, sometimes Ralph just slips up.  That's ok though.  The child will have time to grow.  He's got good genes.  And he blocks your shot just like he drinks a cup of coffee... actually strike that.  He's not old enough for coffee yet.

"Doin wicked shit cause shit is wicked on the streets / And from what my eyes see, the wickedness will never cease"

I've been having some fun with the following betting creed:

When a team ranked 10-25 plays on the road, against a respectable, but unranked, conference opponent, BET THE HOME TEAM DEAR GOD BET IT ALL.

Home crowds are good for a 10 point swing these days, maybe more.  USC just absolutely demolished Arizona State, after they had beaten the Oregon teams by a combined 1000 points the week before.  Duke can't cover shit in Florida State, but get them at home and it's BOY HOWDY NOBODY CLAP DURING THE FREE THROWS OR KYLE GETS CONFUSED.  Then there's the Big 10, Northwestern took Purdue to the dick, and Ohio State's fans have to cheer loudly because their football team kisses the pink these days.  Don't even start with Michigan.  About the only stadium where the home crowd doesn't seem to matter is in Indiana, but I bet they'll beat Iowa there.  Why not?  These kids are looking at a deepening depression, and by the time they get out of college, it's going to be like "Well, that's a great degree in Sociology, can you swing a maul?" and that's the lucky ones that even get the interviews.  Cheer like hell, Brianna, because these are the times to remember.  And they will not last forever.

"You can fool the people on the east coast, and the midwest / But in LA, you still ain't passed the test"

The recruiting monopoly in LA is over.  And UCLA is the winner.  USC is still keeping it horribly gatto, but that's only good for a second round berth.  Ben Howland has beat the game, and he's got the system in place to keep churning them out.  I don't know how far they'll go, but I can say this:  There is a GLUT of pretenders this year, teams from Pitt to UNC to Georgetown... these scumbag teams who couldn't cover Bethune Cookman, and someone's going to put them in their place.  Come tournament time, it's going to be balance that takes it all, as Kansas proved last year.  Well, had Memphis been able to make A free throw, let alone 4 free throws, they would've won, but still.

And, in conclusion: