May 27, 2010

Eastern Conference Finals

Is it just me or are the Eastern Conference Finals this year a complete pile of moose dung? Seriously. I mean, I think I want the Celtics to win, but Doc Rivers is the worst coach in the NBA and KG is getting old and bitchy.  Orlando is the biggest group of whiners this side of Phil Jackson talking about the Antawn Jamison trade. I'm pretty sure that Dwight Howard was possessed by the ghost of Sam Cassell after their first round series - ask him, he never comitted one foul.  SVG sure likes to talk about the officiating too.  It's like reading about Shaq and his troubles with the refs 15 years ago - I guess Dwight just follows in all of his footsteps?

When Boston put a beat down on the Magic in game three I was happy.  Not because I really want the C's to win, but that I was glad the series was almost over.  Of course SVG did his best Ron Jeremy impression to get his boys up for game 3, which of course got the media all boner-rific for the Magic. Great. This series just got more annoying.  Then the C's made pee pee in thier shorts in game four, further extending the stupidness that is this series.  I mean, it's like watching Patrick Ewing's Knicks against The Mailman's Utah Jazz - there are few things I hated more passionately than those two things. I just want to punch myself in the face.

I guess I want the Celtics to win, but it's not because I want them to play in the Finals.  It's because I don't want to see a rematch of last years NBA Finals. 

But Dave, how can you be so sure the Lakers are going to win!?

That's a fair question. And I'm not sure the Lakers will take care of the Suns - I would bet they will, but I'm not willing to put much money where my mouth is.

But frankly, I wouldn't want to see a Suns-Magic series either. Or a Suns-Celtics series.

I'm only mildly interested in a Lakers-Celtics series and that's mostly because of the historical significance of that match up, not so much because I like either of those teams this year.

(sigh) The Eastern Conference is stupid. Just like football.

May 19, 2010

2010 NBA Durrr - I mean Dra-urrrr. Damn It! NBA Draft!

Not that we, as Wolves fans, should've expected anything more than picking 2 spots below where we should be picking, but it doesn't make it any less disappointing. Kahn! jinxed us earlier this week when he said there were three players that were worthy of being the top pick. Just by saying that he doomed us to the #4 pick. I'd also be interested to hear who Kahn! thought the third player was? John Wall and Evan Turner are no-brainers, but after that you have issues. I guess maybe it was Derrick Favors. Wes Johnson, who most mock drafts have us taking, would be a fine pick, although I don't see him being a star. He's been compared to Joe Johnson, who's turned into a pretty good player - not a max guy in my opinion, but better than Rashard Lewis. By the way, how's that working out against the C's SVG? But I digress...

Dickfer nailed it as far as McFail taking Cole Aldrich. I mean he's white, he's big, and he's from Minnesota. McFail would be drafting himself. I pray to God that's not what Kahn! does. I don't want Greg Ostertag II on my team. Of course McFail could also go in a slightly different direction and take Demarcus Cousins. Based on his Isaiah Rider pick, he didn't have too much of a problem taking attitude problems - and Cousins will be an attitude problem. If they took Cousins or Aldrich I think that would be it for me as far as the Wolves go. I had a hard enough time watching the garbage that was on the court last year.

I also think Dickfer is right about trading down. It'll depend on Wes Johnson's workout, but I think they'll trade down unless he blows them away.

So who do they trade with? Hard to say. Kahn! talks about all the assets we have but, other than picks, I'm not so sure anyone else in the league is interested in what we have. According to the rumor mill there is some talk that Houston and Portland are interested in trading up to #3 or #4, although who knows how desperate they are to do so. Portland has pick #22 which does us no good and frankly they don't really have any players they'd be willing to part with that I'd be willing to trade the #4 pick for. I'd be interested in Rudy Fernandez but only because having him on the roster may make it more likely that Ricky Rubio plays at least one NBA game in a Wolves jersey. I'd need more than that though - say Przybilla and another first round pick next year. I still don't think that'd be enough for me.

Houston is a bit more intriguing, although I'm not sure how possible a deal would be there either. With Yao bitten by the injury bug and no real back up option at center, there is a possibility that they might be willing to take on Al Jefferson and his reasonable contract. He would fit their style of play as he's about as mobile as Yao. And $13 million for a 20-10 guy who doesn't negatively affect your locker room is not a bad deal.

Package Al with the #4 pick for Kevin Martin, Chase Budinger, and the #14 pick. Based on mock drafts, Ekpe Udoh is available at #14.

Of course if they did this, I'd suggest throwing out the triangle offense and run something more like Phoenix does. Pick and rolls all day, from all over. Flynn and Love up top with Martin and Budinger spreading the floor. It looks good when I write it.

You would also have to pray there'd be someone that Houston liked as much as they like Kevin Martin, which is unlikely, but this is the type of deal the Wolves should shoot for.

Here's praying Evan Turner somehow slips to 4.

May 18, 2010

The 2010 NBA Draft - Lady Wins Bingo

Was that not the most awkward, funny, and awesomest (it's a word) draft ever? Please watch the whole thing if you can find it. You have Granger for the Pacers pissing off whatever pick they get because he is not Wall, you have ESPN saying the widow's last name was "Poland", you have the Nets owner who wants to takeover China and the world with the Nets. Oh, and Kahn! gets asked a question and he just simply explains he understands how to be a GM. Aaron Brooks . . . nice glasses. Tyreke Evans, are you happy with the selection? Seriously, when the Wizards won, the only thing I could think of is a scene from Swingers. The blackjack scene where she gets 21 and gets comped breakfast or something. Everyone claps. Some hotel like Gold Spike or Lady Luck (if it still was functional).

Who are the other players in this draft (besides Udoh, of course)? If McFail is picking, we are taking Cole Aldrich . . . easy. And that might be a good pick, I am just saying what McFail would do. You know Kahn! is trading down. In fact, I say we lock up every 1st round pick in a draft so we ensure we get the 1st overall. 2039, here we come. The rebuilding ends that year. I can wait.

Kahn! will trade down and get: a hot dog, a hamburger, milkshake, potato chips, Atari 2600, bag of basketballs, Pop Hits 2002 Volume 1, weber grill, half a cow, some basketball player, daily card from the U, chain link net, new pair of Chuck Taylors, dorm fridge, rotary phone, front row courtside seats . . . for Sioux Falls, . . . sweet jesus will this be great.

May 17, 2010

'Sheed Says It Straight

"A lot of them jump shots, the buttholes get tight."

Rasheed Wallace in reference to the inability of the Magic to make threes in game one of the Eastern Conference Finals.

It's true, them buttholes do get tight.

May 11, 2010

Now McFail WANTS To Coach?

Does anyone else think it's weird that Kevin McHale is actually expressing interest in coaching? I mean, he spent most of his final three years in Minnesota talking about how he didn't want to coach - even when he was having some moderate success. He complained about the travel and the long hours. He even flat out said he had no desire to coach, but was simply doing the owner a favor.

But now he wants to coach?

If he hadn't been so adamant about not wanting to coach, I could see why he'd be interested in the Chicago job. He spent some time as a VP trying to get Kirk Hinrich to Minnesota. Noah and Gibson are raw bigs that could learn a few things from McHale. And really, who wouldn't love to coach Derrick Rose?

But he was so against wanting to coach - well, at least up until the Wolves fired him. Then he was interested. Seems like maybe he's not so much interested in dancing, but wants to go to the ball badly enough to pretend?

May 3, 2010

The Magic of David Stern

I have an announcement to make. There will be four days off, during a series, in-between playoff basketball games.

I know that in the past, the longest I would go within a series is three days. That is much too short. Four days it will be.

Why? Um...I couldn't tell you, beyond my own self evaluation of being dumb as shit.